In the Sun
by Stessa
Summary: FF. Faberry: "Rachel, don't do this! Don't ignore the subject, don't tiptoe around it. We need to talk." On a deserted road near Lima, Ohio, Rachel Berry broke Quinn Fabray's heart. Time has passed, Quinn has tried to move on, but when she accidentally meets Rachel again, is she going to be able to keep away, or is temptation too much?
1. Prologue

**IN THE SUN  
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**Prologue **

It was snowing outside. The glistening snowflakes fell like diamonds from the clear night sky, softly cascading to the ground, where they laid themselves like a duvet on the cold, hard earth. Everywhere I looked, I saw white. It looked crunchy, untouched – the snow, I mean. There was nothing in sight; no footprints on the ground, no sign of headlights getting closer, not even an animal lurking in the outskirts of the forest.

It was cold outside like it usually is in Ohio this time of year. It sort of comes with the snow. In high school I used to love the snow, the beautiful surroundings it gave the city, the atmosphere. I loved the snow, yes, but I'd always hated the cold. I used to wrap myself in so many layers, I could hardly move, and yet I'd still manage to shake with chills.

I was freezing now, too, as I tried to stay warm inside the car with my gloves and my hat on and the blanket we'd packed in the back-seat. There was already fog on the windows, and we'd had to turn the engine off, because we had to save gas for when we'd eventually be able to continue the trip. It might take a while though, we'd been stuck for two hours here, and it'd only been roughly forty minutes since we had gotten a hold of someone who'd be able to pull us out of this giant pile of snow we'd somehow ended up in. Who knew when they'd get here? Everybody needed help because the roads were so icy, and we hadn't been able to give them an exact location because there was no GPS in this old, rusty, rented car.

I wanted to kick myself for suggesting we take the smaller, deserted roads towards Lima. My argument had been that the main roads were more dangerous, because everyone was taking them, and there would be a higher risk of crashing. It had sounded so good when I said it, but now it was delirious even in my own ears. Who took the smaller roads during a blizzard like this? Who even went _outside _during a blizzard like this? Well, a lot of people did this time, because everyone was going to visit family for Christmas – which was why we were on our way towards Lima also – all the way from New York. It had been cheaper to rent a car and drive all the way there, especially for two people, and we could do it without breaks and just take turns behind the wheel.

Rubbing my mitten-clothed hands together for warmth, I blew on them and shuddered in my seat. I was freezing, and I had no way of getting any warmer. I contemplated going outside to relieve my bladder, but just the idea of venturing into the cold night was frightening. I'd never get warm again if I opened the door.

Turning my head to the side, I glanced softly at Rachel. She was resting her head against the seat and had both hands still on the wheel. Her long brown hair stuck out beneath her knitted beanie and her cheeks were slightly pink. She seemed to be in her own world of thoughts, looking through the window of the car and into the night; her brown eyes were round and lifeless – she was in deep thought. I'd come to know this look after many hours of studying together; she always got this look when she was really thinking, preparing for a class. It was adorable, but it was also almost impossible to get through to her and snap her out of it.

I turned slightly in my seat and leaned my back against the door, to sit differently. My back was starting to hurt now, and one of my legs was sleeping so it'd be nice to readjust myself. My eyes quickly ventured, on their own accord, to Rachel again, because I simply couldn't help it, so I got a closer look at her profile; the characteristic nose, her adorable chin and the way her neck curved and ended in her strong shoulders. I loved looking at her in a way I'd never liked looking at myself. I loved _how_ I looked; the All-American girl, the blonde hair, the brown eyes, the pretty nose and the great body, that was full in all the right places. I was more beautiful than most girls, the picture of perfection. But I was also fake. My coloured hair, my smaller nose... everything about me was fake. Whereas Rachel... she was far from perfect, she wasn't what people considered beautiful. But that was exactly _what_ made her beautiful; the way that she was entirely herself, how she looked like no one else and just stood out in every way possible. She was the kind of beautiful that sort of snuck up on you, took you by surprise. I was the the apparent beauty, and while that was great for looks of appreciation, Rachel's kind of beautiful... that was the most dangerous one.

I'd had to learn that the hard way.

I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but somewhere during our adventure in New York, I fell in love with Rachel Berry. I'd decided to apply for NYU for college because Rachel and I had started to become friends and it seemed ideal to just know at least someone in the big city – that way I wouldn't be all alone. So I began studying Psychology. I hadn't thought we'd start spending as much time together as we did, Rachel and I, but I hadn't minded. Whenever we both needed to study, we met at the apartment that my college fund supplied me with; we made vegan noodles and ate it out of bowls, laying on the floor, with sheet music, books, papers and transcripts strewn out between us.

Somehow I fell in love with her. Just _somehow_. It was hard to define when, which is what I mean when I say that _her_ kind of beautiful sort of sneaks up on you. Suddenly, one day, as we were walking from vintage store to vintage store to find something appropriate to wear on a date, I realised it. She modelled this ugly old thing for me, and suddenly – _bam!_, I knew. It hit me like a tonne of bricks; I was in love with Rachel Berry.

That was four weeks, three days, seven hours and thirty-four minutes ago. (Not that I was counting). Ever since then I've been different around her, and I know that she has noticed. It's not like I can help it or anything, it just sort of happened. I didn't know how to act around her – what was the appropriate thing to do? Tell her to stop talking about her cute boyfriend Nick from NYADA or stop walking around in barely nothing in my apartment when she spent the night?

All of those things had become habits for us, it was natural. I couldn't just go ahead and change it. So whenever she would parade around in a tight top and short boy's underwear, I'd tell her I needed to shower and get the hell out of there. She was noticing, she was. I just didn't know how to make it stop.

It's not like I wanted to fall in love with her. Actually, I would have preferred it if I hadn't. But one can't stop these things, not when they're happening this fast. I'd tried to talk to Santana about it, but she'd laughed her butt off and continued to mock me about my choice in women. Brittany had been sweet and sensitive and told me it was about time I admitted it. Oh, and she'd asked me when Rachel and I were going to share sweet lady kisses, but that's not really important.

_It was never going to happen_.

And that wasn't even because I was afraid or anything. After figuring this out, I'd come to realise that perhaps this is just who I am. I mean – these things come out eventually, and now I wasn't living at home anymore, and I hadn't spoken to my father in three years. It wasn't even like it freaked me out; I told my mom and my sister that I was pretty sure I was gay. They were both really great about it, actually, my mom was even excited that she'd get a daughter-in-law and not another son-in-law. She said that Frannie's husband was more than enough for her. They'd taken the news _so well_. It was just a shame that – for right now – I didn't have anyone to bring home with me.

I wished so badly that I was able to bring not just anyone – but Rachel – home with me. My mother and sister would love her, just like I did. It would have been the ideal Christmas this year; Frannie, her husband, their three kids, my mother, and Rachel and myself. I could just picture it: The Perfect Family. We could even invite Rachel's fathers, that would make the entire thing even better, because they were absolutely _wonderful_.

"I can't imagine it'll take much longer before they arrive." Rachel suddenly said. She still hadn't turned her head towards me, she was still glancing outside, and her huge brown eyes were sort of melancholy.

I sighed. "You never know. This weather is crazy."

She turned to me then, a soft smile playing across her lips, "You're right, it is. _Absolutely crazy_."

Laughing, I leaned slightly forward and nudged her with my hand. "Stop mocking me!" I said, but really, I didn't mind. I loved it when she mocked me.

Rachel giggled, that long stream of girly giggles that I adored. "Sorry, I can't help it, you're just such a dork sometimes, Quinn Fabray!" she puckered her lips at me and continued, "It's almost impossible not to mock you."

"Hey!" I yelped out, and, this time, I lifted my foot and kicked her thigh lightly with it.

Her brown eyes fell serious as she offered me a kind smile, "You're right though, the weather is crazy. Perhaps we won't be found before the roads clear up. We'll have to sleep in the back-seat together."

Even though that sounded wonderful – because it did! A night snuggled up to Rachel for warmth? I couldn't imagine anything better – it also sounded horrible. To think we'd be stuck here for Christmas Eve and the morning after? It was a saddening thought – Christmas had always been the time for family to be together. And even though Rachel was possibly my favourite company ever, I'd sort of been looking forward to seeing Frannie and her three little nightmares. Christmas was nothing without kids. And also... even if the idea of Rachel close to me made me warm and fussy, it also made me scared. Because.. having her so close, and not really _having_ her – it was horrible and heartbreaking.

Instead of answering her query, I changed the subject to something else entirely. "Shit, isn't it getting colder in here?" I murmured and rubbed my hands together again.

"It's not even beautiful anymore," Rachel whispered, turning her head to the side again and glancing outside. It seemed like the snowing had intensified and the night was getting even darker, "it's just... depressing and icy cold."

I couldn't agree with her more – it wasn't exactly easy to keep my spirits up, not even with her just nearby. "I hope we get picked up soon." I replied and reached for my cell that I had thrown by the front window. I had three messages from my mom and one from my sister. Even Santana had texted me, and because I wanted to save the power on my cell, I ignored those from my mom and sister (they knew where we were, it was just a matter of time), and opened the one from Santana.

Rachel fell back in her seat, "I wish we could turn on the radio. It'd be nice with some music to keep the spirits up, something colourful and upbeat. Something that reminds you of _summer._" she whispered.

_R u guys in Lima yet? Britts n I wants 2 see ya b4 dinner! _

Typing a response back to Santana about the odd predicament we were in, I offered Rachel a murmur in reply. "We'll just make our own music?"

"Believe it or not, I don't actually feel like singing right now." Rachel said, and I could hear the distinct discomfort in her voice. She was getting bored with this situation, and she wanted to get back to Lima to be with her fathers. Of course she did. We were leaving for New York again in a few days to get back to spend New Years with some friends in the city, and it was such a shame to waste so much time stuck in this car.

I offered her a soft smile; just because she was in a bad mood, didn't mean I had to be so, too. One of us had to keep our spirits up, so I guess that had to be me. I started to hum softly, a melody I'd had stuck in my mind the last few weeks; it reminded me of Rachel and I, of our situation. I could see a smile begin to form on her face as I hummed, it was barely there, she was fighting it, but it was there.

"_It's hard to be ignored, When I look at you, you look so bored, My baby, my darling, I've been taking a beating... Well alright, It's okay... We all get the slip sometimes everyday, I'll just keep it to myself in the sun, in the sun..._" I sang, a smile playing on my lips, even though it was sad to think about this situation. That's what always got to me with this song – because even though the lyrics were sad, the music was oddly upbeat and smile-educing.

Rachel giggled, "She & Him. I'd almost forgotten about them."

"I used to listen to them all the time." I replied.

She turned her head to meet my eyes, "I like their music."

I whispered, "Yeah... it's great. And believe it or not, Rachel," I added, as an afterthought, "of all the people I could be stuck here with... I'm happy it's you."

Her lips formed a smile, and she'd never looked more beautiful and bashful at the same time, "Oh really?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I continued, "Yeah, you're... you're like the person I'm closest to right now, Rachel.. I mean, who would have thought that Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry would be so close? But we are, and … and I love you."

Rachel's bright smile faded a little, her eyes getting this far-away look in them once more. I could feel my own heart pummel to the pit of my stomach. I tell her 'I love you' and she doesn't reply, but only gets sad? That doesn't look too good for me. And although it might have something to do with the most reason break-up she had with Nick, it still didn't make me feel any better. But who was I kidding? It's what I'd figured all along, why I hadn't told her about my feelings. I knew it wouldn't end well for me, because Rachel didn't feel the same. She had a boyfriend, and she didn't feel the same. She just didn't, and I had to accept that.

"I really need to pee now." Rachel replied, her eyes turning towards the road outside, "I'm gonna go outside and find a spot, I'll be right back." she leaned over me, one hand on the door and the other opening the glove compartment. She got out the small flash light that she'd packed (always prepared, as she was) before she opened the door and got outside in the winter snow.

As soon as the door smacked close behind her, the car was enveloped in a creepy silence. I immediately decided that I could not care less about saving the power on my phone; I quickly hit Santana's number on speed-dial and held the phone to my ear. If I knew Rachel as well as I thought I did, it'd take her a while to find a place outside where she'd be comfortable peeing, and then she had to fight her way back through the snow... I'd be good for at least five minutes with Santana.

"Q! What the fuck!" was her greeting.

I sighed, "Hello to you too, Satan."

She was rolling her eyes at me, I just knew it, "You still stuck in that car with Berry?"

"Yeah, we're still waiting." I replied and pulled my legs up beneath myself. I hugged the blanket closer around me for warmth and continued, "Santana, I don't know what to do, I – I've been here with Rachel for a long time now, and she's killing me, I just want to kiss her and tell her how I feel."

Santana was quiet for a while – and she was actually thinking about this, I knew, because otherwise she would have fired some lame joke off at my expense. "Well..." she trailed off, hesitating, "why don't you?"

I sighed, "Santana, I know that just grabbing someone and kissing them might work very well for you-"

"All the damn time, baby!" she cut me off.

"-but I'm not like you, okay? I don't just grab people and kiss them. Besides, she doesn't feel the same way, and I'm certain of that, because everytime I even broach the subject of me caring for her, she gets all weird and makes some lame excuse." I paused and swallowed loudly; even though this was the truth, it was hard to say it aloud, "Even now, she just went outside to pee. To _pee_, S, in this weather! Just to get away from me! Now tell me, does that sound promising?"

Santana laughed, "Damn Q, that does sound horrible! What are you? Completely repulsive?"

"Not helping, San!" I heard Brittany yelp out in the background, before there was some rustling on the other end, and I heard the two of them argue beneath their breaths. This went on for a little while; Brittany's persuasive ways, and Santana's cursing, before I eventually got a very chipper Brittany on the phone. "Quinn! Hi, it's me, Brittany! You're stuck in that car with Rachel now, aren't you?" she asked me.

I nodded, before realising that she could not see that over the phone, and quickly added, "Yeah, yeah I am, B."

Brittany giggled, "So it's the perfect time, isn't it? She can't go anywhere when you're stuck together, so she can't run, right?"

I bit my lip and tried to gather what it was that Brittany was trying to tell me. If I tried to talk to Rachel right now, there would be no place for her to go – she'd have to listen to me. Except, of course, if she wanted to stand outside in the freezing snow. And even she wasn't crazy enough to stay out there for however long to avoid me. It _might_ work. She wouldn't be able to avoid the conversation if I forced her to have it now.

"Q?" Brittany queered in her innocent voice.

"Yeah," I replied, closing my eyes and heaving out deeply, "Yeah I'm still here Britts, and eh- I think I might do what you just told me to. I think I'm going to talk to Rachel."

"Yay!" Brittany cheered, and I could just imagine her, doing a happy-dance. "I'm going to give San the phone back now."

Santana was grumbling when she said, "You gots that, Quinnie? Yous best listen to my girl Britt-Britt, befores I ends you, alright?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her ridiculous use of grammar, "Sure, S, I gots that." I mocked her, before I hung up the phone and threw it onto the back-seat. I had no idea how this conversation was going to end; probably not well for me, because Rachel did not feel the same, but it'd be a relief to finally get it out there. And after she knew of my feelings, we'd just have to find a way to work through it together.

I could see her flash-light dangling closer, and it was about damn time. It was actually pretty stupid of her to go out there like that; in this weather it was absolutely dangerous to venture outside, but thankfully she'd made it, because there she was, struggling to pull open the door.

When she finally fought her way into her seat, dragging snow and cold wind with her, she was shivering violently, "_Bad idea_!" she told me, and her lips were blue, so I had mercy on her and pulled the blanket off myself to wrap it around her instead. She offered me a giant smile in reply. "Thanks."

Smiling to her, I leaned back in my seat, and while she resumed her previous action of staring outside, I started debating with myself about how I was going to do this. There was not really any way to do this delicately; how would I do it, if I tried to work my way up to it? That'd be too difficult, because Rachel was a smart girl and she'd figure out where I was going before I got there, and somehow change the subject. No, there was really only one way to do this – one right way, that is. Or perhaps it wasn't really right per say, but it was the only way I knew how. I was just going to jump. Throw my body off the edge and don't look back; fall towards the ground, cross my fingers and hope for the best. It was the_ only_ thing I could do.

"Rachel?" I questioned her. Her name almost got stuck in my throat, but I forced it out, before I regretted it and changed my mind.

She turned her head towards mine, so beautiful, like only she could be. "Yes?" she whispered.

Sucking in a deep breath, I could feel the change coming. I could see it, just nearby, and somehow, I felt scared and relieved at the same time. Scared, because I was going to bare my feelings, put them out in the open, but relived because... I was finally going to be free. No more hiding, no more pretending. I was going to be honest for the first time, and it felt damn good.

"I'm in love with you."

She stared at me, confused. And slowly, so slowly, I could see her mouth fall open. It was odd, like slow-motion, her eyes went completely round and huge, her mouth became wider, her chin almost unhinged itself. It would have been comical, had the situation not been so serious. My heart was thudding in my chest; I could hear blood in my ears, my pulse was quickening, and I felt very queasy. The entire atmosphere inside the car was thickening. It was so weird... I could feel my life changing before my eyes, with a snap of my fingers. I was afraid and I wanted to go back so badly.

And Rachel was a stuttering mess when she finally managed to speak, "You-you-you … you're _what_?"

There was no going back, no denying it. The words had already left my lips, so I might as well just continue what I'd started. "I'm in love with you, Rachel, and I think you know that." I firmly told her, my eyes never leaving hers. She was a good actress; she was good at pretending that she didn't know. But she did know, so she could just drop the façade. "You've been trying to run everytime I even circled around it. But I'm tried of this, and I had to say it aloud."

Turning her head to the side, Rachel tore her eyes away from mine. She couldn't even look at me. She couldn't even... she couldn't stay my friend. Right then and there, I knew. She wouldn't be able to work pass this, she wouldn't be able to put this behind us. It was so confusing to me, because in my eyes, Rachel had always been the most forgiving generous person. She was raised to be that way; and this should not freak her out the way it obviously was. But apparently even she had a limit for things she wanted to – or maybe even could – go through.

The deafening silence was interrupted by an intense ringing from Rachel's cell phone. _Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter, life's candy and the sun's, a ball of butter, don't bring around a cloud, to rai-_

"It's Rachel! Oh, hi Daddy!" Rachel said as she picked up the phone, and suddenly, a huge smile was on her face. "Yeah, we're still stuck, but they should be here any minute now to pull us out... yeah it's cold! Mhm, I can't wait to see you either." she continued, and listened intensely while her father spoke to her on the phone. I was cursing Leroy though, for his awkward timing. Now she was going to try to get pass this when she hung up, but I wasn't going to let her! "Yes of course. Yes, yes... say hi to Dad too, alright? Love you, too. Bye." she hung up the phone and let it fall to her lap.

She didn't turn to look at me.

"Rachel-?"

"That was Daddy." she interrupted me, before I had time to say anything at all. She wasn't meeting my eyes, and it hurt like hell. "He was just curious as to when we'd be in Lima. The food's ready, so they're just keeping it warm for me..." she trailed off and turned her wrist over to glance at her watch. "They really ought to be here soon."

I closed my eyes to give myself strength for a second, before I said, "Rachel, _don't_ do this! Don't ignore the subject, don't tip-toe around it. We _need_ to talk." I firmly said; and I might have sounded more harsh than intended, but it was the only way to get her to look at me again.

She shrugged her shoulders. "What do you want me to say, Quinn? I can't – I can't talk about this with you."

"_Why not_?" I replied, and I think that the hurt I was feeling, it pretty much shone right through me, "I always thought that you'd be understanding, that you'd tell me that we can work through this... we're _best friends_, Rachel, we should be able to survive anything. You need to be your usual self and tell me that we can get through this."

Rachel looked at me; like really looked at me, for the first time in awhile. And I could see the hurt in her eyes, the confusion, the betrayal. Her chocolate orbs were a mess of shimmering emotions, and she couldn't hide from me. "Nick asked me to marry him." she finally whispered.

And that right there? I think that for the first time in forever, I knew what real heartbreak was about. The pain that ripped through my chest when those words left her lips, it was never-ending. I was never going to forget the way my heart seemed to break into nothing and sent a shiver of depression on course in my veins. "He what?" I finally whispered, my voice was low, raspy, and I could barely hear it myself.

"He came to my apartment two weeks after our latest split." she begun, "He told me that whatever it was that wasn't working, we could fix it. He said that he _loved_ me..." she trailed off, and right then and there, she reminded me so much of how Shelby was when I was just a teenager in high school, a teenager with so many problems that she had to deal with, "He said that he wanted us to be together, that he wanted to _marry_ me. He got down on one knee and... proposed." she glanced at me, softly, "I- I -I said _yes_. I – I really love him, Quinn, I do. And... he's flying in the day after tomorrow, and we're telling my fathers. I'm getting married."

I know I had prepared for total heartbreak, because I'd always been certain that Rachel didn't feel anything for me other than friendship. But I hadn't prepared for this. Not to get thrown a proposal and a marriage right in my face. But it was still the same thing I had to deal with; it wasn't any different from how I'd thought it would be, having to tell her, then find a way to work pass it with her. We still had to cross that bridge, the bridge to friendship – for the both of us. She had to find a way to be my friend, knowing what she did, and I had to find a way to get rid of my feelings and see her the way I used to.

Swallowing loudly, I said, "That doesn't change anything, Rachel... I wasn't expecting you to-" I paused, squeezing my eyes shot for a second, so I could deal with this somehow, "I never thought you'd feel the same. I didn't think you were going to jump into my arms and tell me you loved me, too. I just wanted you to know, because-"

"_Why_?" she cut me off, her hands gripping the steering wheel so hard, her knuckles were turning white, "Why, Quinn? Why did you have to tell me? I was perfectly fine not knowing that you – you want to _kiss_ me and – and – and have _sex_ with me. _Fine_, Quinn!" she said, and her voice was slowly reaching shrill, "Perfectly.. fine."

"You knew." I said, and suddenly I was aware of the tears that were slowly trailing down my cheeks; I hadn't even known I was crying. "You knew, Rach... you saw the way I looked at you, you jumped whenever I hugged you, and you _always_ made excuses when you felt that I was going to tell you. So don't _even_ try to bullshit me with this, because you knew."

She turned her head towards mine again, her eyes were shimmering with un-shed tears when she looked at me. "I'm _getting married_." she firmly said then, and I don't know why, but in my ears, it sounded like she was trying to convince herself and not me.

I nodded my head, "Yeah you are..." I whispered, "You're getting married. I'm not asking you to change that. I'm asking you to, please, _please_ find a way to work through this with me. You're my best friend in the whole world, Rachel, and... and I need you to stay my friend, because without you... I don't think I'll be able to function."

"It was better left unsaid." she continued, heaving out a deep sigh. "It was better, because I could pretend it wasn't real. I've never had a friend, Quinn... All through high school, I was the lonely girl who worked too hard, the hated girl, that everybody mocked and threw slushies at..." she bit her lip, "Including you..." shaking her head, she continued, "I had Kurt, he was my friend. And later Blaine and Puck.. and there was Finn, of course, my boyfriend, but... I never really had a friend, who was a girl, who didn't secretly want to lock me in a closet somewhere. Mercedes was the closest thing I had, and look at how much she hated me."

I knew she was right; her life had been oddly filled with men and not so many women. Perhaps it was because she'd never really been close to another girl... she'd never had a mom, and although both of her fathers were loving and caring – perhaps the best parents in the world – she might've missed out on something. Because when she finally started getting friends, they were all male, and she seemed to be just fine with that. They'd all been male... until me. "I'm the first." I rasped out then, as understanding suddenly dawned on me; understanding as to why she was reacting the way she was.

"Yeah, you're the first." she whispered, nodding her head, "And now it just feels like... it was all based on a lie somehow. You weren't my friend, Quinn, if you feel this way, just like Finn was never just my friend either." she finally let her hands fall from the steering wheel to her lap, "And I can't look pass this, because it changes everything. I'm sorry."

This couldn't be true. It simply could not be true that Rachel Berry was de-friending me. I'd been prepared for heartbreak, but... this was something else entirely. Were we really going to not be friends now? Was I going to have to study alone, eat my noodles alone and watch old sitcoms on TV by myself? She'd been there ever since I moved to New York. How was New York going to be without her? How was I going to be without her?

Two headlights suddenly appeared in front of us, and I could feel my heart speed up again, because my need to get away from Rachel was all of a sudden very big. We were being saved now, both of us, and I was going to see my mom soon, and my sister. And Santana and Brittany. And I couldn't wait. I needed to get out of this car, away from Rachel, away from the heartbreak... just somehow. Even though it'd always be with me, I just needed to get away _now_.

Pulling the door open, I turned to Rachel, "I'm going to talk to them and see if I can catch a ride back to Lima."

She nodded softly, and I stepped outside, shuddering in the freezing cold. But just as I was about to smack the door close, the sound of my name stopped me. "Quinn?" she whispered, and I bent down and looked in at her, so small behind the wheel, "Please don't tell anyone about me and Nick... it's on the down-low for now."

This time, it was my turn to nod.

"And..." she added, when I once more tried to close the door. "I really am sorry."

I swallowed loudly and looked at her, really tried to look at her because I had this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach, that it'd be the last time I saw her – if not in forever, then for a very long time. "Yeah... so am I." I finished, before I closed the door and stepped around the car to greet the tow-truck.

* * *

><p><em>Yesssss. I am back! Whaddya all say? I know it's been a while (like seriously, it's been months since I posted something online), but now I think I'm back. I've been working through this block, probably the worst I've ever experienced, and I'm still so, so rusty (as you can probably read in this prologue), but hopefully it'll get better when I start writing the chapters. <em>

_I hope you enjoyed this little prologue? This is a Faberry fiction as you can probably guess, and it will be happier, and longer than my other Faberrys, though I have not planned out all the chapters yet. I'll see when I get there.. hopefully ;) Please leave me your thoughts and whatnot, because I'd love to hear from you all! Should I continue? Do you want to see more? If not, then this would work pretty well as a one-shot – with a bit of editing, of course. I am sort of looking forward to writing more though, so I hope you're up for it! _

_**Disclaimer; **I do now own Glee or "In the Sun" by She & Him. _


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One **

_People are absolutely mad_.

Quinn couldn't explain why it was, it just was. People weren't just mad, they were absolutely crazy and almost psychotic. Every each of them. She was certain of it. Some people might call her a sceptic, a negative person who sees the world through her glasses and shakes her finger at everyone, but in truth, that wasn't what she was at all. She was simply just a New Yorker who took the subway to work everyday, which was enough to prove her thesis right: People were mad.

It's what she wrote about in her final paper. _A Look at the People of New York City_ by Quinn Fabray. Her teacher had loved it. It hadn't been the conventional paper to write, it had been a risk to take, but she'd done it, because she was sure that she was onto something there. People were mad, and she was going to prove it by studying it through her years at NYU.

Now that she was long gone and done with school, she hadn't really managed to get her thoughts into an actual book, but she still believed that people were mad. The mentality that everybody had, it was every man for themselves. It was survival of the fittest, and Quinn hated it. She watched it every day on her way to work; people fought for the seats on the subway, they fought for something to hold onto while it moved, heck, they even fought to get into the damn thing. They pushed, they ran, they fought tooth and nail.

She had no idea how she'd managed to survive all these years in the city, because in her own eyes, she wasn't strong at all. She could barely manage to smile. The only thing that kept her going was her job – but her job? It was just a further confirmation that people was generally crazy. Don't get her wrong, she loved her job, she really did. It was the exact thing she'd dreamed of when she was in high school and so fucked up that she really needed help. Her mother took her to a psychologist – or a shrink, and she'd always called it (and still did), because it made it sound like there was something really wrong with people, and you know what? Quinn believed that there was. No one goes to a shrink just because. They go because there's something not right in their heads, something that needs fixing, something that needs to be talked about. And Quinn was that person now; the one that everybody could come to if they needed it. And it was wonderful, because she could use her own experiences since she'd once been them, been so fucked in the head.

She was still fucked in the head, but that was for entirely different reasons.

"Good morning Ms. Fabray." the young receptionist greeted. She was no more than two years younger than Quinn herself, but somehow stuck without an education because she'd had a kid in high school. She also had green hair and two nose piercings, which might be why Quinn had insisted they hire her to do the job.

"'Morning Haley." Quinn replied, "And I already told you, call me Quinn." she continued with a laugh as she brushed pass the girl to her office. She glanced into her co-worker's office on the way, but she hadn't arrived yet. On second thought, Quinn believed that Alice might've said something about a dentist appointment this morning.

Quinn placed her briefcase on her desk and pulled her jacket off, only to hang it in the closet. She turned on her computer to get confirmation on the patients for today. Most of them were regulars, people she had been seeing since her and Alice decided to start this little thing up together. They'd still only been at it for three years, but they had happy clients and incomes that made everything go round, which, really, was everything that Quinn had wanted and hoped for. She could tell that she had a long lunch today, which was great, because she was craving sushi, so she could go to her favourite place and sit there and enjoy it for once.

She almost jumped out of her seat when her phone started ringing. Picking it up, she was halfway reading her messages, halfway aware of her conversation, "Yeah?"

"Your mother's on the phone again." Haley said to her with a sigh. Judy tended to call a little bit too often, and most of the times, Quinn told Haley to say that she was too busy. But it was still morning, and Judy knew when to call her because hours officially hadn't started yet.

"Put her through." Quinn replied.

"Just a moment."

Quinn flipped through her desk calender and waited for a second.

"Quinnie!"

"Hi Mom."

Judy was eager, there was no doubt about that, "Quinnie, I've been trying to reach your for days, sweetie! How are you?"

Quinn leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and decided that she might as well get this conversation over with. It was the same thing every time, and she hated it. "I'm good." she replied, "Just really busy with work."

Judy was silent for a moment, before she asked, "Are you dating, Quinnie? Because you're never going to give me a beautiful daughter-in-law unless you start meeting girls!"

Quinn sighed. "I just don't really have the time right now, Mom."

"Oh what nonsense!" Judy replied, and Quinn could just picture her at home, sitting in her sofa, shaking her head. "You should start going out again, Quinn. I remember when Brittany and Santana first moved to New York, you three were inseparable again, just like high school! You went out every weekend to have fun and – and dance and drink, and do whatever it is that you young people do!"

Quinn bit her lip, "Yeah I know, Mom, but they're really busy with the twins, you understand that, right? It's not easy trying to make everything work. Brittany just started looking for work again, and Santana's working her ass off to pay for everything. But she's still so young, she doesn't really get that many cases.. Not some that pays too well anyway."

Judy replied, "That's just excuses! They could get someone to watch the kids for one night and you three could go out! I want grandchildren too, you know, and not just Frannie's."

"I know, Mom."

"I saw that Shelby woman the other day." Judy continued her chatter, "Beth looks so much like you. She does seem to have a good life, she's on the cheerleading squad at McKinley Middle School and she does all the jumps that you used to."

Quinn was interested in hearing about Beth's life, but she also hated it in a way, because she'd been refused to be a part of it, where Puck was still living in Lima and spending time with her occasionally. Shelby still didn't let Quinn see her, even though she had her life together now; she'd screwed up one time too many. So Quinn had this silent agreement with her mother: Judy would find out things about Beth and Shelby and the life that they had, and then tell Quinn about it, and pretend like it was all just one big coincidence. Usually she would claim that she just 'ran into them' or 'saw them' or something like that.

"That's wonderful." Quinn replied and rubbed her sore eyes. It was only eight thirty and she was already tired of the day. "But listen Mom, I really need to start working now, I have clients coming in at nine."

"Sure, alright honey." Judy replied, "But really, Quinnie, take my advice... call Santana and set up something for this Friday night. You can go out, have fun, dance and just... relax a little."

"But Mom, I-"

"Promise me, Quinnie!"

Quinn sighed and gave up, "I promise you."

"Good." Judy replied with a happy voice, before she hung up the phone.

She didn't have to know that Quinn planned on watching bad sitcoms in her pyjamas, eat junk food and go to bed early, did she?

Quinn wetted her lips and turned to her bookshelf to find her patients records, "Alright..." she mumbled to herself, as she pulled out the right one, "let the mad people come."

**-Faberry-**

Apparently a lot of people had a craving for sushi that day, because the little place that she and Santana loved to meet for lunch at was _packed_. Thankfully, the twins had started spending some time with the sitter alone, so they weren't there with them. Some days, when the twins had been younger, Santana had had to take care of them for a few hours during the day while Brittany was out looking for jobs.

"...and I swear, Rebecca did the cutest little thing with her face this morning, and Rico threw up at Britts, and it was all one madness. I just grabbed my stuff and hurried on out of there to get to work on time." Santana finished her story.

Quinn nodded her head and stuffed another piece of sushi into her mouth; usually she'd taste it more and really savour the taste of it, but even though she'd really been craving this today, she wasn't enjoying it. "Yeah, I get it, Rebecca and Rico are cute."

Santana took a sip of her soda and chuckled, "Yeah alrights, message received, you _don't _wanna hear about my kids. But I'll tell on you, and you know what? You won't be their favourite aunt anymore."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "I think I can live with that."

"Anyway," Santana quickly continued and crossed one leg over the other as she glanced at her best friend, "don't you have something you wanna ask me, Q?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "Uhm... no?"

Santana smirked at her, "Oh... then the call I got from Judy this morning was in my dreams or something? I swear I talked to her..." she trailed off, "She was going on and on and _on_ about her youngest child, who – apparently – doesn't get out so much... I don't know why I would dream something like that though." she finished, looking way too smug for her own good.

Giving the Latina a dead-glare, Quinn hissed, "I do so get out!"

"Oh really?" Santana continued, "So when's the last time you had sex? Oh no... when's the last time you even went on a _date_ with a girl?"

The blonde girl sighed. "I don't feel like dating, okay? I... I don't date."

The Latina laughed, "But you have sex, is that how it is?" she teased her in disbelief.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "As a matter of fact... I do have sex, thank you very much."

Santana raised an eyebrow, "Oh really now? With who?"

"Not your business." Quinn replied on instinct, because that was just the defence mechanism she had, plus, she and Jessica had agreed from the very beginning that there was nothing in it, so they might as well keep it low-key. Quinn had no feelings for her whatsoever, and Jessica was too busy to date anyone, so it was convenient for both of them. If Quinn hadn't had Jessica to get her off once in a while, she'd be too wind up to work.

Santana rolled her eyes. "There's no girl." she said, and stuck her tongue out at her, like she was some five-year-old.

Quinn heaved out a sigh, and continued, "I don't care what you think, S, I know there's a girl and we have sex. Great sex, wonderful sex... It satisfies me. I'm not in love with her, so naturally it can't be fantastic, but... it keeps me sated."

Santana just stared right back at her, daring her with her eyes to say more.

"Alright, it's this girl, and..." Quinn said, as she tasted another piece of sushi. She might as well just elaborate a little bit more, otherwise Santana would never leave her alone. "we hang out once in a while... it's nothing serious. I'm busy, she's busy, so it's convenient. Whenever one of us needs to... you know," Santana rolled her eyes, "we just meet up."

"And you want me to believe _that_?" the Latina snorted. Quinn knew that it was far-fetched for anyone who knew her in high school to believe that she'd ever have a fling like that. She'd always been a relationship kind-of-girl. She'd never just fooled around when she was younger, but right now... She didn't want a relationship, she just wanted flings.

Quinn replied, "I don't care what you think, think whatever. I'm busy, so it works for me."

Wetting her lips, Santana fired right back, "You're busy my ass. You choose to be busy because you're afraid of getting heartbroken. Don't try to hide it, Quinn, you are!" she said while she absent-mindedly checked her watch to see the time, "But you're not a fling-sort of girl, you like things serious. So if you really are seeing someone, it's because you want to pretend that you're over you-know-who, but secretly, you still think about her all the damn time."

"I do think about her." Quinn quickly replied, before she even managed to think it through. She couldn't take the words back though, and the way that Santana looked at her, she knew it was a bad thing. She couldn't help it though, she thought about Rachel a lot, still. About the cruel way she blew her off and broke her heart. And whenever she was 'being casual' with Jessica, it was because she had a need – as a woman – and the casual way was the right thing to do. She wouldn't be able to handle finding a girl and being serious. She simply couldn't. She was starting to think that she might _never_ be able to...

As sad as it was – all things considered – she had come to believe that Rachel really was the one for her. And if she couldn't have her, she couldn't have anyone. She didn't _want_ anyone else, so what was the point?

Santana stared at her; at first it was in disbelief, traces of anger left from their small argument only moments before. But as she watched her, Quinn could slowly see all of it fade away, into something so much worse than anger... she looked sad for her, she looked at her with pity. And the blonde hated it, she absolutely loathed it. She didn't want anyone's pity – least of all her friends'.

"Q..." Santana begun, but Quinn cut her off immediately.

"Don't even, S." she firmly said, leaving no room for Santana to argue, "I don't wanna hear it. I don't want your advice or your pep-talks. I loved Rachel, like, really loved her..." she trailed off, "the way you love Brittany. The only difference is..." she shrugged her shoulders as she paused, because this was hard for her to admit, it was hard for her to even think about, "she didn't love me _back_."

"But-"

"No buts." Quinn interrupted her. "She broke me, S, when she shot me down that day. And she's ruined me for everybody else."

Santana shook her head. "I refuse to believe that, Quinn!" she said, seriously. Her dark eyes were small and intense, as she stared her blonde friend down. "I want you to experience what I have now. I want for you, what I've got with with Britts. It's... it's the best. People like us, Q, we need someone like Brittany to keep us happy. And you'll find that, I know you will. It's not over for you."

Quinn didn't know what to reply to that. She hated that Santana wouldn't just let it be, that she absolutely had to dig into it, and make her remember things she'd rather have stay forgotten – at least when she was out in public. She liked what Santana and Brittany shared; ultimately, when she first started falling in love with Rachel in college, it was what she'd dreamt for them – dreamt of in the future they'd make, together. She'd have her job; working as a shrink somewhere, and Rachel would live out her dream on Broadway, while they had their very talented – and very beautiful – kids running around in their penthouse apartment. It had been the dream for her.

But Rachel had shot it down with just a few words.

Quinn shook her head at Santana; she couldn't take this anymore, not this optimism and happiness, when she just wanted to stay negative forever. "It is, Santana... it's over." she firmly said. "I mean... I think about her too much to even consider falling for another girl. I stalk her Facebook page, and I follow her online. I even make sure to swing by Times Square everyday so I can catch a glimpse of that giant billboard for the revival of _Mamma Mia!_ She knocks those ABBA songs out of the park every time I go there to watch it." she breathed out deeply, tired of explaining herself, tired of still feeling the way she did, tired of not being strong. Just... tired. "So it's pretty damn certain... it's over for me."

"God, I hate that you sound convinced of that, you puta!" Santana spat out, glaring at her, "You're ruining it for yourself, because you want to stay negative. Well, newsflash for ya', Blondie, Britts and I are tried of it, and we're not gonna let you ruin your life. So it all starts tomorrow night."

"What's happening tomorrow night?" Quinn asked, and she actually felt a little pang of excitement in her chest; but only just so.

Santana smirked at her, "Our search for your future wife. We're going out tomorrow! Yeah!" she nodded her head and flipped her long hair over her shoulder, "I'ma call the sitter, and then it's _on, _Quinnie... I bet we're going to meet the woman who'll put a ring on your finger someday. It's _on_!"

It was okay for Quinn to feel slightly scared, wasn't it?

**-Faberry-**

"What the_ hell_ are you wearing?"

Dropping her purse to the floor with a sigh, Quinn glared Santana down, "Well hello S, you look nice tonight." she sarcastically replied, before she kicked off her sneakers and threw her jacket on the hanger.

Santana watched her, arms crossed over her chest and with her boot-covered foot tapping against the hardwood floor. She was not pleased, Quinn could tell, but she was looking hot. Her black boots went all the way to her thighs, where there was just a patch of smooth skin visible, before a very short – and very tight – red dress clung around her body and hugged her chest. Above that, she was wearing a small black bolero, just to cover her arms, and her hair and make-up was done perfectly; just like Santana always did. She liked her make-up smokey, and her hair in a high ponytail.

But over all, the impression that Quinn got when she gave her a once-over was not one of a hottie, it was of a, well, very_ pissed _best friend.

"No-uh." Santana said then, shaking her head, which made her earrings dangle slightly, "This is not gonna do, Quinn. If you even think I'm letting you leave this apartment in an outfit like that, you're out of your mind."

Quinn flashed her a smirk, "Well then I guess I'm not leaving this apartment. I can watch Rico and Rebecca while you and Brittany dance the night away." she replied in a chipper voice, before she brushed pass the Latina and into the living room. She'd purposely dressed herself in her oldest pair of jeans and a boring black t-shirt, before she'd pulled her hair back in a bun and left her home with her ugliest jacket on. She knew that Santana was going to comment on it, and that was exactly the plan. She didn't want to go out and meet women. It was a meat-market out there, and she hated it. That's why she had Jessica! To avoid all that crap, just to get off. Jessica was available when she texted her, and she didn't care what clothes she wore when they met up, as long as they were off within two minutes of their meeting.

"Hi Quinn!" Brittany chipped from her seat on the couch. She had two cribs placed in front of her, one that was almost eye-scratching pink, and another one in green. She seemed happy; well-rested for once, and she was dressed for a night out, in stiletto heels, tiny jeans shorts and a shimmery top. Her hair was down in waves, and she looked beautiful, and so much like her old self; it had been a while since Quinn had seen her in anything that did not have throw-up on it.

"Hey B." Quinn replied, but she barely managed to glance at her friend, before she was kneeling down next to Rico's crib. He was sleeping soundlessly, with his little hand curled into a fist as he fidgeted. His eyelashes were fluttering, and it was so adorable. "Hello little man." Quinn whispered, lightly brushing her pointer-finger across his chin, "You're dreaming, huh?" she giggled, and in some way, she hated the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when she saw the twins... she got so jealous; she envied Santana and Brittany for what they'd managed to create for themselves... it was everything they'd ever wanted with each other.

And _everything _she'd ever wanted with Rachel, which was were the entire jealousy came in. But on most occasions, she managed to push that feeling aside, because really – she was happy for her two best friends. She was! Life hadn't been easy on them, and their romance certainly hadn't been a walk in the park... they deserved this, they really did.

Santana came stomping into the living room then, still very much pissed about Quinn's attire, "Brittany, will you please tell Quinn that she can't wear her old jeans for a night out?"

Quinn rolled her eyes and stepped around Rico's crib to greet Rebecca in the same way she had greeted him. Rebecca really looked so much like Santana, it was crazy. Quinn loved how her two friends had done this; Brittany had carried the children, because it was easier for her to take some time off work, since Santana's job was steadier financially. Brittany's often paid better, but it wasn't easy to tell when she'd find a new one. So far, it had been easy for her, but in that industry, it could be months between jobs. So it had worked out so well for them; they'd found a donor with fair skin, blue eyes and blonde hair – a good looking man, and mixed his sperm with Santana's eggs, before making Brittany's uterus a home for them in the next nine months. The outcome? The two most adorable Latino twins Quinn had ever seen.

And they were spoiled rotten by not only their parents, but their aunt Quinn, too.

Brittany's scrutinizing eyes were on her body two seconds later, and Quinn tried to ignore the penetrating glance. "Well if those are her woman-scoring jeans, then I don't see why not, Santana."

Quinn tried to hide her smile, but Santana was putting her foot down. "No. No way! I'm not going with you, dressed like that. B, while I wait for the sitter to get here, you're going to find some of our clothes and put it on her! Between the two of us, there must be _something_ she can fit into!"

"Oh!" Brittany jumped out of the couch with a happy squeal, "A dress-up! That sounds so fun!" she said, before she grabbed Quinn by the arm, leaving no way for the shorter blonde to even argue.

Quinn could hear Santana's cruel laugh all the way into the couple's bedroom, where Brittany proceeded to open all the closets – the two of them had _a lot_ of clothes. Santana's closet was mostly business-wear, suits, ties, blazers. But she also had casual clothes and dresses for a night out. But Quinn knew for a fact that Santana was a couple of sizes smaller than her, so she wasn't going to fit into any of those. Maybe one of her tops, but definitely not her jeans or skirts. Brittany however, was about the same size as her, except for the fact that she was so much taller. And she had a lot of party clothes – a lot of really outrageous clothes, actually, because those were the things she always went to auditions in; the casters loved a good mix of colour and craziness.

Brittany started looking through her closet as she hummed, while Quinn threw herself onto the bed and closed her eyes. She could hear Brittany shuffling, and Santana faintly baby-talking in the living room, and she wondered what the hell she'd gotten herself into now. She had to admit though... maybe it wasn't such a bad idea – to dress up, look hot, feel good about herself and just got out to look at beautiful women with her two wing-women. She didn't have to pick up anyone or get phone numbers, she just had to have fun. Maybe it'd really relax her and keep her mood up for the next couple of weeks.

"I think you should wear a skirt." Brittany suddenly said then and threw something onto Quinn's stomach.

Quinn sat up in bed with a jump and looked at the piece of clothing Brittany had given her. It was a jeans skirt; one of Brittany's. It was short and ripped, it looked a little rough, which was fine by Quinn, because with the right shirt, it'd look great. "This is good." she told the other blonde, and Brittany lit up like a Christmas tree, "How about one of Santana's simple shirts?"

The taller blonde nodded eagerly and quickly went to another drawer to sort through the shirts in there. "I have just the one in mind, Q!" she said, and before Quinn knew it, a white – very tight – t-shirt had been thrown at her, and she was told to start dressing herself. Brittany turned back to the closet, while Quinn pulled off her jeans; the skirt was a little tight around her butt, but it was to live with. "Oh, you have to wear this leather jacket!" Brittany said then and turned back around, holding up a black jacket with a smile on her face.

Nodding eagerly, Quinn grabbed the jacket. "Hell yes!" she smiled, and she hated to admit it, but she was actually starting to have fun with this. She was getting excited about going out, which was crazy, because she'd never thought she would be. "What about shoes though? I can't wear my sneakers." she questioned.

"No absolutely not." Brittany replied, before she turned to their shoe-closet and started sorting through her own shoes. "You're about the same size as me – they might be a little too big for you, I have a big feet!" she laughed happily, before she turned around again, holding out a pair of black gladiator sandals that had such long strings, they had to be tied right before the knee or something.

Quinn couldn't help but smile at her friend, "Perfect." she said.

Clapping her hands together, Brittany did a happy dance, "Oh! Goodie! Now, quick Quinn, get dressed, and Santana can do your hair!" she laughed, before she hurried out of the bedroom to find her wife.

Sighing heavily, Quinn pulled her t-shirt over her head and grabbed the one she'd borrowed from Santana. She was going to stay positive, she _had_ to.

**-Faberry-**

Two hours later, it was very hard to stay positive.

Quinn had forgotten how much she hated going out – well, mostly it was fun. Drinking, hanging out with Brittany and Santana and just looking a beautiful women, grinding up against each other on the dance floor. But all the other aspects about a night out... she hated. She loathed the loud music blasting through the room, she loathed the flashing lights and the drunk people who kept bumping into each other and spilling drinks on the slippery floor. She hated the men who clearly didn't get the fact that she was gay and kept hitting on her, trying to get her into bed. And she hated the fact that she was somehow always stuck alone in a corner, because her two friends – who had no shame whatsoever – were making out on the dance floor.

Checking her watch, Quinn wondered when it was appropriate for her to go home. Oh, she'd have to give it two hours, at least, otherwise Santana was going to maim her tomorrow.

She slurped down the rest of her gin & tonic and cringed when _Born This Way_ started playing; the d-jay had been playing old tracks all night; Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and all those other things she listened to when she was in high school. She looked to the dance floor again and saw Santana and Brittany gesturing wildly to her; they wanted her to come out and dance with them for this one, and Quinn couldn't help but place her glass on the table and go join them, because this song brought back memories of Glee.

"Lucy Caboosey!" Santana laughed, and pulled her closer, and Brittany hugged her excitedly, before they squeezed her in between them and she became the Quinn-fill to their Brittany/Santana sandwich. It was fun though. She found herself laughing and singing along to the lyrics even though it was years since she'd actually listened to the song. She could feel Santana's hands around her waist and Brittany's on her shoulders, and she shook her head along to the music, and suddenly she found herself having _a lot _of fun.

She didn't even know how long they were dancing; she got so caught up in the music and the way that their three bodies swayed so perfectly together, it was sensual, sexy. Even though it was Brittany and Santana, her two best friends, she couldn't help but feel a slight burning in her body, a need to get close to someone, and not just in the way that she did with Jessica. She loved the heat between them, the fireworks that spread around her body like wildfire. She could feel sweat streaming down her back, her t-shirt clung to her body beneath her jacket, but she didn't care. She knew she looked gross, but what did it matter? She didn't want to score anyway, so why not have fun for the first time in what seemed like forever?

She _loved _this.

"I need to pee!" Santana suddenly yelled, and before Quinn or Brittany could reply, she'd turned around and squeezed herself through the throng of people towards the bathroom.

Brittany grabbed Quinn's hand, "Let's find a place to sit." she said and pulled Quinn with her in the other direction – where they'd been seated before. Thankfully, there were lots of smaller tables available, so they grabbed one with two chairs, and Santana would just have to make do with Brittany's lap. Which Quinn knew that she didn't mind – at all.

Quinn breathed out loudly while she discreetly tried to wipe some of the sweat away with the corner of her sleeve. She had to look crazy though; her hair clung to her face and her make-up was smeared, she could feel it. But she was happy.

"Aren't you having fun, Q?" Brittany excitedly asked her. Her cheeks were burning red, and now that Quinn took a closer look in the dark, she was pretty sweaty too. Of course she'd been tearing up the dance floor with her skills earlier, but still. It wasn't just Quinn who looked completely gross.

She couldn't help but admit the truth now, not when Brittany was looking at her with that cheerful smile and burning stare, "I really am, B. I owe you and Santana for forcing me into this."

Brittany happily clapped her hands together, "You haven't been the same since Rachel. Santana's been really worried, Q, I know she doesn't show it that much, but she worries about you, I know. I know my Sannie, I can see it." she wetted her lips and looked thoughtful for a second, "I've been worried also. But I knew that you couldn't just move on, because I kept thinking, 'what you I be like without San?' and then I looked at you and I knew. I knew you were so sad."

Quinn couldn't help the sad smile that came onto her lips then, because even though Brittany could be so slow sometimes, she understood this. "I was sad, but I'm slowly getting better." she assured her friend, with a comforting hand on hers, "I have you and Santana, don't I? And now I have Rico and Rebecca, too. They make me happy."

"They make me happy too." Brittany replied seriously, before she leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn.

When they broke apart, Santana was coming towards them with a serious look on her face. She was practically pushing people aside to get to them quickly, and all the alarms went off inside Quinn's head. She could tell that something was definitely not right, and immediately wondered who Santana had pissed off now.

"We need to leave." she proclaimed, as soon as she came to a halt in front of them, "I'm not even kidding, we need to get the fuck out of here right now."

Brittany shook her head. "I don't wanna leave! I wanna dance more!"

Quinn had to agree with her on that – she just wasn't sure if Santana was willing to listen. Plus, if it was bad – whatever she had done – it was better to get out of there before they had to deal with the repercussions and someone came to confront them.

Santana shook her head. "We can dance some other time, babe, this night is over for us."

The tall blonde placed her hands on her hips and firmly said, "What did you do now, Sannie?"

"I'll tell you later, B, let's just get our asses onto the street first, alright?" Santana continued and Quinn felt even more worried, because the Latina seemed slightly frantic and in panic, and those were not good signs. What if she'd pissed off some giant dude with big muscles and he was now scooping out the place to find her? They better leave right away before things got out of hand and Santana ended up in the emergency room. They could always get an explanation later on.

"Come on, B." Quinn said and pushed her chair back to gather herself.

Brittany – very unwillingly – stood up as well with a sad look on her face. She zipped up her jacket and stepped around the table to clasp her hand with Santana's. "Okay, I'm ready." she lightly whispered and placed a lingering kiss to her wife's cheek.

Just as they turned around to go for the door, though, Quinn came to a halt.

"Quinn?"

There, right in front of her, was Rachel Berry.

* * *

><p><em>I bet all of you saw that one coming, huh? Because I'm THAT original (sarcastic? Oh yes I think so!). But don't worry, I hope to make the rest of the story a bit more unpredictable. <em>

_I want to thank you all so much for the reviews you left for the prologue. As you can see, I've decided to do the chapters in third-person, which leaves me room to juggle around with perspectives, which is not something I do very often in stories, I tend to write from only one character's perspective, even in third-person. But this story I want to write from both Quinn and Rachel's perspectives, as it gives me room to develop both characters and sort of see Rachel's side of things easier. Thus next chapter will be through her eyes. _

_Please tell me what you thought of this – I'd love to hear your thoughts :) _

_**Disclaimer; **I do not own Glee. _


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"Kurt, I am _freaking _out!"

"Yeah, I can see that, Sweetie. And _breaking_ out unfortunately."

Rachel gasped and turned to look into the full-body mirror in her bedroom. There, on her nose, was a giant red spot, and she could see smaller ones all over her cheeks and chin. Through the mirror, she could see her best friend watching her with disdain. She didn't understand how she'd come to look like this; she had an excellent skincare-regimen that she did both morning and evening, and it had protected her skin since she was just a teenager. Why did it suddenly not work at all? She couldn't walk around outside like this! She was a celebrity! What if someone took a picture?

Sighing loudly, the brunette actress turned around and fell backwards onto the king size bed and closed her eyes. She was so tired. Every limb on her body was aching, practically screaming for her to lay down and sleep – and perhaps never wake up again. She had a sore ankle, but she'd been pretending for the last three days that it didn't hurt at all, and that she could do her dance-numbers like usual.

She could feel the bed move next to her, and a second after, she felt Kurt's caring hand on her arm, stroking it softly. "Honey, I'm concerned for you." he whispered.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked up at him; she could feel the tears of sadness and frustration in the corners, wetting her lashes, but she didn't even try to hide them, because Kurt had seen her at her worst, and he was okay with that. "I'm concerned for me, too." she replied back to him in a small voice.

Kurt offered her a small encouraging smile. "You're stressed, Rachel. I can see it on your skin, in your eyes, even your hair's not as shiny as it usually is." he gave her luscious locks a look, "You're spread too thin, you're doing the last performances of _Mamma Mia! _while working on rehearsals for _West Side Story_ too. You're still adamant about working out every day, and then you have Nick to take care of." he brushed his hand over her hair softly.

"I know." she murmured, closing her eyes again. She could feel it – she was wearing herself down day by day. Every part of her was telling her to stop, but she kept on telling herself that it was just a few more weeks of _Mamma Mia!_ and then she'd be able to only rehearse for her new show, and that'd give her time to rest in the evenings. And now, when she got home after a show, or during those few hours between rehearsals and performances, Nick was on her case all the time, because he was concerned that they didn't spend enough time together. She kept telling him that it was just a phase and she'd be her usual chipper self as soon as she started getting enough sleep again; sleep had always been so important to her, it was a part of her energy, and now she felt like she wasn't even herself because she simply had too much on her plate.

"You need to learn to relax more. Your body won't take care of itself." Kurt continued to tell her.

Breathing out loudly, Rachel turned onto her side so she was resting her elbow on the mattress and her head in her hand. She offered her best friend a tiny smile. "It's just with the last weeks of _Mamma Mia! _I want to give it my all. But _West Side Story _is already wearing me out with rehearsals. Did you know that it's only a few months until that one is opening, too?"

Kurt wiggled his eyebrows. "Yes. You're a very busy bee. Still, Sweetie, I wouldn't complain if I were you. You get to do what you love every day." he cast his eyes down and sighed, "Not all of us are that lucky. I'm stuck teaching kids piano and song until the perfect part is created for me."

"Sadly there _is_ a lack of parts for someone like you." Rachel replied and pressed a kiss to his hand. "But you're great, Kurt, as long as you know that – and I know that – it's alright."

He offered her a smile that really said everything. "That is true, I am fabulous."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh, "You're fantastically fabulous!"

Kurt tapped her lightly on the hip and wetted his lip. "Why don't you get up now? I have a feeling that your husband will be back soon, and we all know he's going to want to discuss you-know-what."

She pulled herself off of the bed and quickly adjusted her clothes so it wasn't so wrinkled, before she turned to her dresser and grabbed her make-up to cover the red spots on her face. "I still don't know what I'm going to say to him."

"Just tell him that you aren't ready." Kurt said as he also got off the bed and started straightening out the sheets, "Tell him that you'll be ready once _West Side Story _is over. Maybe in a year or two. I mean..." he stood up straight again and shrugged his shoulders, "At that time you will be around thirty, so it is the ideal time to take a year off from the stage." he stepped closer to her and tore the powder puffout of her hands to apply it better himself.

Rachel could practically count his freckles while she contemplated his idea, and she had to admit, that it didn't sound so bad in her ears. She had been working constantly since she graduated from NYADA and slowly started working her way up. She was in an off-off-Broadway production of _Sound of Music_ that one of her teachers had gotten her into after one of his friends had seen her in a school production. She'd been Maria for a few months and after that, there had been other smaller parts, until – finally – she got cast as Sophie in the revival of _Mamma Mia! _a few years back. She hadn't had any breaks, and Nick had been so great about it, while he'd just done his writing with his side-job as a journalist. It would be the perfect time for her to take a break once _West Side Story _was over – she was just so worried that once she was finally ready to return to the stage, everybody would have forgotten her and there'd be no parts left. Could it be that her career should start with a Maria and end in one as well?

Kurt jumped a little when the front door was opened and Nick announced his presence in the flat. He'd had a meeting with his editor in chief today, just discuss which articles he should be working on. He did a little freelance when they were in need of reporters, but mostly he just wrote his thoughts and musings down in small articles for people to enjoy and get a laugh out of.

She grabbed the make-up out of Kurt's hands and shoved it back onto the dresser, just as Nick stuck his head into their bedroom. "Rach I'm- oh. Hi Kurt!" he smiled happily at the other guy and stepped into the room to give Rachel a kiss and Kurt a small hug.

"Oh why don't I get a kiss, too?" Kurt pondered out loud.

Nick rolled his eyes and Rachel slapped Kurt gently on the arm. "Stop wishing my husband would kiss you, or I'm going to kiss Blaine again!" she warned him with wide eyes, "Do you really want a repeat of the spin-the-bottle-episode from junior year?"

Kurt's eyes widened, "Oh no! You called him Blaine Warbler for several years..." he trailed off and turned to grab his bag from the floor, "I think this will be my cue to leave. Nice seeing you Nick, we should do dinner soon, all four of us, Blaine would love it."

"Sure!" Nick enthusiastically replied, nodding his head, "Sounds great! We'll just have to work around Rachel's schedule, but we'd love to, right honey?" he pressed a kiss to Rachel's temple with a laugh.

"Yes." Rachel replied, nodding her head; a dinner sounded absolutely outrageous right now, she did not have the energy for it, but in a week or two, hopefully she would, "I'll call you, Kurt."

He blew them a kiss, "Wonderful." he said, before he turned to leave the room. There was a silence between the two spouses until they heard the front door open and close again.

Nick turned to his wife with a smile then and leaned down to kiss her once more. He kept his lips on hers for a long time, and Rachel could feel her heart speed up slightly. "I missed you today." he murmured, as he pulled back and rubbed his nose to hers.

Rachel brushed his cheek and smiled, "I've missed you, too."

"So did you and Kurt have a good afternoon?" Nick asked as he pulled back from her. He loosened his belt and let his jeans fall to the floor – only to reach into his closet to find a pair of his sweatpants and put them on. While he was changing, Rachel tentatively took a seat at the foot of the bed, quite nervous because she knew that she had to have _the_ conversation once more very soon. Nick didn't waste any time trying to bring it up, so it was pretty certain that he'd be asking her very soon about it.

"It was, it was great, yeah," she nodded her head, while trying not to look at him, "it's been a while since Kurt and I had a real girls' afternoon with everything that comes with it. He's my best friend, you know."

Nick leaned himself against the doorway, a loving grin on his face. "I do know. You guys have been best friends since I knew you."

Rachel didn't know what to reply to that, so she settled for meeting his eyes instead.

"So..." he trailed off, nervously, and looked at his feet. "Have you, you know, stopped taking your pill like we talked about?" his eyes met hers again, and when she was reluctant to reply, he continued, "It's just that, it might take a while before it happens and I saw that empty package in the trash this morning, so it looked like you hadn't... you know... stopped."

"I didn't stop." she quickly spilled. She didn't even want to get mad at him for obviously checking up on her, because she knew he had a good reason. Every time they'd discussed it and agreed that she should stop taking her birth control pills, she kept taking them anyway – he had reasons not to trust her with this, so she had no reasons to get mad. "I'm sorry, but... I'm not ready yet."

Nick looked hurt. His blue eyes were watching her intensely and she could just make out tears in the corners of them. He bit his lip. "Are you ever going to be ready, Rach? I'm... I'm 34. And I know you're a lot younger than me, but... if we want more than one kid it's about time we start doing this. Perhaps even looking for a better place to start a family at. I thought that that was what you wanted?"

Rachel quickly slipped off the bed and across the room. "It is what I want." she whispered, placed both her arms around his body and resting her head on his chest. She squeezed him tightly. "I do want a family with you, Nick. And I have a plan, I've thought about this, and I've discussed it with Kurt." she pulled back and looked up at him, her brown eyes locking with his blue ones, "Maria has been my dream role since I was very little. I'm finally going to _be_ her. On _Broadway_. It doesn't get any bigger than this, Nick. This is the height of my career. And I _promise_ you..." she breathed in deeply, whilst honestly laced her every word; she wanted him to understand this, she wanted him to believe her, "I promise you that when _West Side Story_ is over... we're making that baby."

A small smile formed slowly on his face then. She could see the words practically settling down inside his head; they made him happy, they made him smile. And even though she wasn't sure she was ready for a baby, who said she wouldn't be ready when the time came? It was worth it too, to see that smile on his face. "Really?" he whispered.

"Really." she promised him. _Really_.

"I love you so much, Rachel!" he said then, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, hugging her tightly, her feet dangling a few inches over the floor.

She couldn't help but giggle happily. "I love you, too!"

**-Faberry-**

Kurt was still modelling clothes for them, but Rachel and Blaine were getting bored. He'd been changed back and forth for the past two hours, and he still hadn't decided what he was going to wear for their night out yet. Blaine was downing beers and checking his Facebook and other things on his laptop, while Rachel was sitting in the couch with a Mojito in her hand; she kept checking her watch. She'd agreed with her co-stars that they were going to meet up for a last drink as a complete cast, but they were already late getting there. It wasn't very polite, especially since it was because they were saying goodbye to _her_ that they'd agreed to meet. She'd had her last show last Sunday and now it was time to say goodbye before she completely focused on _West Side Story _and the new cast she had to get socialized with.

Of course she'd see some of these people again, after all, but it wouldn't be the same not working with them everyday. She'd only run into them occasionally, and if she was lucky – because being on Broadway could sometime be like being in an enclosed family, and once you had a foot in the door, you were there to stay – she'd get to work with them in the future. _Way_ in the future.

"This is boring me." Blaine said then and pushed his laptop to the side, so he could rest his feet on the table. Rachel knew that Kurt hated it when he did that, but it was probably his little protest towards Kurt and his small fashion-crises. "We're not going to make it in time, Kurt!" Blaine yelled then, to get his husband's attention.

Kurt stuck his head through the doorway with an annoyed expression on his face. "I'm almost ready! I need you to come zip me up, Darling, and we can go."

Blaine pulled himself off the couch with a sigh, "Awesome." he sarcastically murmured, before he shot Rachel one of his charming grins and went into their bedroom.

Sipping her Mojito, Rachel's eyes landed on the laptop in front of her, and she figured that she might as well just check her different fan sites. Her manager usually managed everything, all the interaction with the fans, but she did post statuses and small pictures via her cell phone on most days – just to keep her fans updated on everything in her life, because she knew that they cared. She grabbed the laptop and was about to go to the corner of the page to log Blaine out – when something caught her attention.

Placing her drink on the table, she pulled the laptop even closer and swallowed.

**Quinn Fabray: **_Dancing the night away! _at **Vela** with **Santana Lopez **and **Brittany S. Pierce**.

Quinn was at _Vela_? With Santana and Brittany? Rachel could feel her heart speed up slightly as she gaped at the newly posted status. It was only five minutes old. Beneath it she could see Blaine had posted a comment; it was slightly misspelled because he'd already been drinking too much, and it didn't make much sense. Beneath that Brittany had commented, "Totally" and it sort of made Rachel laugh.

"You ready to go, Sweetie?"

She was pulled out of her trance-like-state by the sound of Kurt's voice; she'd completely forgotten that they were about ready to leave for the night, because the fact that Quinn's picture was right there, her smiling face looking towards the camera, it completely caught her off guard. It wasn't that she'd forgotten that Quinn ever existed – how could she? It's just that... most days she chose not to give her old best friend a thought. She liked to pretend that it was because she was too busy, but really, it was because it hurt too much.

She knew she'd been rough, been too hard on Quinn, after all, feelings are feelings, and you don't choose who you fall in love with. She simply hadn't been able to handle it, though. It had been too much at the time. She'd grown a lot since that day in the car, and had this happened now, she would have handled it much differently, but... at that time, she really hadn't seen any other way to do it. She knew that that didn't make it okay – far from – but it was the only explanation she had.

"Yes I'm..." she couldn't tare her eyes away from that face to even look at her now-best friend. "I'm... ready."

Kurt got a confused expression across his face and he immediately stepped across the floor to look above her shoulder. "What are you doing? Did the Paparazzi catch something they shouldn't?– _oh._.." he trailed off when his eyes landed on the same thing that Rachel's eyes had, "That's unfortunate."

Rachel quickly slammed the laptop close and reached for her drink. She took a long zip, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, but mostly... trying to calm the wheels inside her head, because they were turning, and they were turning _quickly_. A giant part of her wanted to go home, close the drapes and just sleep forever because of the way that that status made her feel. Another part of her though... wanted to ditch her cast and go to _Vela_ to search Quinn out, and just, you know, look at her... It's not like she wanted to talk to her or anything. Quinn probably hated her guts, but... it'd be so nice to just _see _her.

"Sweetie," Kurt quickly said then, placing a hand on her face and turning her face to force her to look at him, "don't think about this, don't think about her. Just finish your Mojito and we'll dance the night away, also."

The brunette turned her head downwards again and forced her face out of her friend's hand. She took in a deep breath of air and told herself to calm down. He was right, of course he was right. She shouldn't even think more about this, because it didn't matter. This was Quinn and it was all in the past. "I know. Let's... let's just go, okay?"

Kurt's hand rested comfortably on her shoulder, "I know that everything with Quinn hurt you a lot, Rachel, but you made your decision that day. Don't choose now to regret it, because it won't do you any good."

Rachel nodded softly and finished the last of her drink, before she stood up from the couch and forced that show-stopping smile back on her face. "You're right, let's go have fun." she forced out, before she placed a lingering kiss on his cheek and turned to the hallway to find her jacket and purse.

_You might tell me that I shouldn't choose now to regret it... But what if I regretted it the second it happened? _Rachel bit her lip and slipped her jacket on. There was no point lingering in the past. Quinn was a catch, no way was she still single.

"Why am I even thinking this?" Rachel murmured to herself as her eyes caught her wedding ring. _Nick is my husband, and we're starting a family. _

"Alright," Blaine said and slipped his arm through Rachel's left one, just as Kurt slipped his arm through her right, "let's join the party!"

**-Faberry-**

It was sad to say goodbye to the other cast members from _Mamma Mia! _but Rachel was also slightly relieved when she, Kurt and Blaine finally left the small bar they'd been gathered at. Most of the others had to get home early, because they had work the next day, but thankfully Rachel did not have that 'problem' this evening and Kurt only had piano lessons in the afternoon on weekends. Blaine was running a Broadway-workshop for kids and teenagers this spring, so he also had the weekends off.

Rachel told the guys that she wanted to go to _Vela_. She had no idea why she wanted to – she just really did. Kurt was on the fence about it, but Blaine was all for it, since it was one of his favourite clubs. He did know about what had happened with Quinn and Rachel back then, but Blaine was a positive person, and he kept reminding his husband and his best friend that it was all in the past, that _Vela_ was a big – actually giant – club and that there was no huge risk they'd run into Quinn.

"And so what if we do?" he said, "You just say hi and slip on by and that's that."

So that was how they ended up around a small table, just the three of them gathered there with their drinks. Kurt seemed to have 'forgotten' his knowledge and decided to just have fun. They were all drinking liquorice shots. Rachel wasn't as enthusiastic about it as her friends were, because she couldn't help but stare around the room, searching for that familiar head of blonde hair.

She couldn't explain why she was so fascinated with the idea of running into Quinn. She'd missed her a lot when they first ended their friendship, but it was years ago. Why would she suddenly want to see Quinn again? She had no idea, she just did. Perhaps it was because she was curious to see if Quinn was happy, if she'd changed, or if she was still the same. Or perhaps she was just curious... would Quinn be dancing with some gorgeous woman on the dance floor or would she be by herself, as in – single?

_Don't go there, Rachel Barbra Berry! _The brunette winced and downed another shot. _Really, don't go there. It's dangerous territory. _

"Wow, he's cute." Kurt mumbled as a tall guy walked by the table; he was blonde and handsome and impeccably dressed. "Gorgeous calves."

Blaine nodded in agreement. "Golden locks. Beautiful."

When Rachel didn't comment on it, both of the guys turned to look at her with questions in their eyes, and she shrugged. "What?" she questioned, her eyes moving towards the guy as he disappeared in the crowd. He did nothing for her whatsoever. Instead... she found herself looking for other blonde locks. "He's not my type." she defended herself.

Kurt arched a disbelieving eyebrow. "Aha, and I'm the Queen of England."

Rachel rolled her eyes at him.

"Why the sudden interest in Quinn, Rach?" he continued to question her.

"I've got no interest in Quinn."

"Ooooh!" Blaine said then, as everything suddenly made much more sense to him. "Now I get why we're here. You usually hate _Vela_, so why would you suggest it?" he laughed and placed an arm around her to give her a sideways hug, "You want to see how your old crush is doing."

Kurt hit his husband gently on the arm. "Oh please honey, Rachel's as straight as an arrow. She was never crushing on Quinn! You _know_ it was the other way around."

Blaine laughed then. "Yeah! I'm just really drunk right now so everything's confusing to me."

Rachel placed a short kiss on his cheek and reached for her purse on the table. "So while you two talk about that, I'm going to use the bathroom." she told them, before she hopped off her stool and started to make her way through the crowd to find the restrooms. They were all the way in the other end of the club, but it didn't matter that it would be a while – perhaps Kurt would have gained a bit more control of Blaine when she came back to the table; she found it funny how he always go so drunk whenever they went out. He had no control of his own limbs or words whenever he started drinking alcohol.

She had to agree with him though – why was she suddenly so interested in Quinn? She did hate _Vela_ with all of her being, whenever she'd been there with Kurt and Blaine – and sometimes Nick – she'd be bored the entire evening. The place was too big and too crowded; she appreciated intimacy much more. But perhaps it was just because she never really took a liking to going out after the disaster that was her own party in junior year. It had scared her off alcohol for good, it seemed. The only good thing about _Vela_ was the fact that most people were younger than her. There were a few Broadway enthusiasts who'd recognize her, but mostly she was free to enjoy herself for the evening without running into fans. If they went to bars or cafés to drink, she'd run into someone almost _everytime_.

Right now, she just wanted to run into Quinn though. Perhaps she should take a walk around the place when she'd used the restroom? She had no idea what she was going to say to her when she saw her, but... there was this place inside of her, this knot of some sort, that just really urged her to see the blonde girl. She felt like she needed to see her – but she didn't know the reason. It was weird, and it made her restless and confused to know that Quinn was right nearby, yet still so far away. She had to give it a try – just to maybe watch her from afar, see if she was happy or in love or maybe even sad. She just... she had to _know_. She had to know if she was okay.

Rachel checked her cell phone while she waited in line for the bathroom. There was so crowded inside the small room, and it only had six bathrooms and a lot of tripping females in their high heels. She had a text from Nick; he told her goodnight and that he loved her, and that he'd make brunch for her tomorrow when she had a hangover. He really was the most wonderful husband any woman could ever want – she was so lucky.

Someone bumped into her from behind and Rachel dropped her cell phone on the icky bathroom floor. "Hey, watch out!" she hissed, and before she turned to find the phone on the floor among female legs, she turned to give the girl an angry stare, but paused when she came face to face with a set of _very_ familiar brown eyes. "Santana?"

The Latina was gaping back at her; her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were completely wide. She was silent; she just stared at her in complete disbelief. She looked older, but somehow even prettier than she did in high school – she looked more experienced and not quite as 'slutty' as Rachel had thought her to be when they were teenagers. She looked like a woman who had success and happiness.

"Berry." slipped past her lips then, and before Rachel even knew what had happened, Santana had slapped her hand so roughly across her cheek that she flew a few steps backwards and into the sink. She heard something crack beneath her, and knew she'd stuck her stiletto into the screen of her cell phone. She turned her eyes down for just a second to confirm her suspicions, and when she looked up again, the only thing she saw in the crowd was the back of the Latina's head.

Before Rachel really had time to contemplate what she was doing and what repercussions this was going to have, she'd bent down to retrieve her broken cell – it probably wasn't going to be fixable, but this way she could still save all the personal items on it – and squeezed her way through the small crowd to follow the other girl. She wanted to yell at Santana; perhaps slap her, too, because why on earth would that be the other girl's way of greeting her after all these years? That was not polite! Rachel had a slight suspicion as to why Santana had reacted that way, but... She wasn't going to just get away with it!

So that was why she followed her, to get an explanation... not because she wanted the other girl to lead her to Quinn, that would just be a side bonus to everything. _Oh stop it, Rachel Barbra. Who are you kidding? You probably deserved that slap. You just want to see Quinn. _She yelled, "Santana!" several times, but the Latina didn't even turn to look at her, she just sped up her pace, while other people turned to give Rachel odd stares.

She had some difficulties following the other girl, because she couldn't very well see where she was going. She wasn't tall at all, and Santana wasn't the tallest girl either, so it was a task. But Rachel Berry had never given up on anything before, so she adamantly managed to follow the other girl, even though she was far in front of her.

She had to manoeuvre her way pass a couple of very big teenage boys, and when she came around them, she paused, because there was three ways to go, and she didn't know which way Santana had taken. One led back towards the table where Kurt and Blaine were at, while the second led towards the dance floor. The third was a flight of stairs to another floor where there was a smaller bar and lots of tables and couches. Making a decision, Rachel flew up the stairs with a beating heart. She knew she had to be quick; she had a feeling that if Santana got too much time, she'd managed to get herself, Quinn and Brittany out of there before Rachel located them. It was only a matter of minutes.

She paused when she saw them; there they were, right in front of her. She could see them talking animatedly. Brittany looked disappointed, and Santana looked angry. Quinn though... she looked perplexed, confused. She was standing with her back halfway towards Rachel, but... she looked beautiful. Rachel could hardly move her eyes away from her. She looked like herself, yet somehow older, wiser. Her hair was longer now than it had been.

The brunette actress could feel her heart speed up – this was now, this was it. She was going to face Quinn, after all these years, after how things ended between them; she was finally going to see her again. What was she going to say? What was she going to do? And how would Quinn react? Would she slap her, too? Would she just leave without a word?

She didn't have too much time to make up her mind though, because the three women were gathering their things, so it was now or never. Stepping closer, Rachel awaited the moment with a beating heart. She could hardly contain her nerves, she was that worried, excited. And the second that Quinn turned around and their eyes met, one word left her lips.

"Quinn?" she whispered, because it was all she could do. It was such a long time since she'd seen her – really seen her. Since she'd looked into those eyes that used to hold so much emotion for her. Now they just looked surprised, confused... and a second after – cold.

"Ra – Rachel?" she whispered; her usually white skin turned even paler and her voice was barely audible.

Santana stepped in then, taking a step forward, shielding Quinn from her view. "If you didn't understand the message, Berry," she said then, and her eyes were cold, and her voice was hostile, "the sound of my palm hitting your cheek – it was the sound of your goodbye. Gots it?"

Rachel didn't have time to object, before Quinn broke in, "Wait what? You _slapped_ her?"

The Latina turned to look at her friend, "Sure as hell did. Ran into her in the bathroom. No one treats my girl like she did and gets away with it."

"Sannie!" Brittany broke in then and placed a calming hand on her arm, "We talked about your slapping. You're not allowed to slap people anymore." she looked at Rachel then, a soft smile playing on her lips, "Hi Rachel."

"Hello Brittany." Rachel replied, before her eyes went back to Quinn once more; she couldn't look away. The blonde girl seemed conflicted, scared somehow, but she wasn't saying anything, she wasn't doing anything. She just stood there, motionless. "Quinn, I-" Rachel cut herself off, defeated. She usually knew what to say, she loved talking, but... but right now, she had no idea how to phrase herself.

Santana turned to Quinn then, "Wanna leave, Q?" she questioned.

Quinn finally looked at her again, their eyes met, and Rachel could suddenly feel her pulse speeding again, she could practically hear her own heartbeat. She'd missed those eyes; she'd missed that smile and the sound of her voice. She'd really _missed_ Quinn. In a way she hadn't even figured. She hadn't noticed it, but now that she was standing in front of her again... suddenly she understood.

"Yeah..." Quinn softly whispered and offered Santana a small smile. "Let's leave."

Brittany grabbed Quinn's hand gently and pulled her pass Rachel, with just a small smile. Quinn didn't look at her, her eyes were focused on the floor. And Santana... she gave Rachel the coldest, most murderous look of the entire evening. It said everything, and it wasn't pleasant. But Rachel... she couldn't help it.

She was watching Quinn disappear in the crowd and suddenly – she wanted so much more than just this.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for the kind reviews I received for the last chapter! You guys are really great. I hope you enjoyed this chapter too – things are slowly beginning to take start! Please leave me your thoughts – I'd love to know. <em>

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

"There _has..._ to be... a reason!" Quinn argued for what – to her – seemed like the thousandth time during that dinner. Slamming her glass of water onto the table, she let all of her frustrations come out as she glared at her friend in confusion.

"No Quinn," Santana answered her, shaking her head at her blonde friend and aggressively waving her knife, "There's no reason, none at all." She shovelled a spoonful of pasta into her mouth and chewed it briefly, before swallowing loudly, "You know why? Because Rachel Berry doesn't make sense! She's a crazy midget. A hot crazy midget, yes. But still _crazy_!"

"Be nice, San." Brittany butted in, briefly looking away from Rico, whom she was feeding mashed potatoes. He had more of them down the front of his shirt than in his mouth, but she was giving it a try. "Here you go, Sweetie." She whispered, before stuffing another spoonful into his mouth.

Quinn sighed and gulped down the rest of the water in her glass. She didn't really understand anything right now; everything was a mess inside her head, she couldn't make sense of her thoughts. On one hand, she was so angry at Rachel – for showing up like that and ruining their fun evening, an evening where she'd finally decided to loosen up and enjoy herself, but on the other hand… she was so happy to have seen her again. To just have seen her face and the way she used to smile at – only – her. She had looked so beautiful there in the light of the club. Quinn didn't understand why she was so consumed in thoughts of her now, because she wanted to be angry with her, she ought to be angry, right? She had the rights to be angry! After the way Rachel treated her when she bared her feelings for her.. she ought to never give her another glance. She ought to kick her, hit her, push her… but she wanted nothing of that. Mostly she just wanted to hug her again… to hear her voice and talk to her.

"Quinn, you can't be serious." Santana said then, completely oblivious to the fact that Rebecca was waving her hands right next to her, wanting her Mama to feed her more mashed potatoes. "She completely shot you down back then… she stomped all over your heart, didn't care about your feelings. How can you be interested in finding out why she sought you out? You should just move on from that night and forget everything about her."

The blonde girl squinted her eyes and shook her head. "I can't just… forget her, Santana. I was so in love with her. Seeing her again, it brought back all these unresolved feelings for me. It was… nice."

"Nice?" the Latina questioned with wide eyes, "_Nice_! How can it be nice to see that bitch again!"

"Be _nice_, Sannie!" Brittany said again, glaring angrily at her wife. "The kids are here, and you should be nice to Quinn about Rachel."

"Why?" She argued once more, looking at the blonde dancer, "She's the girl who broke Quinn completely down! Why would I want to talk nicely about her? She's a bitch… she didn't care about Q's feelings, so why should I care about hers?"

Brittany's blue eyes grew softer, and she placed the blue baby spoon down on the plate and looked completely at Santana. "That was us too, San. Remember? In high school. I was the sweet one of us, and I didn't care about your feelings when I was with Artie, even though I really did, inside of me." She looked sad for a second, as she patted the left side of her chest softly, to indicate where her heart was at. "Rachel also cared about Quinn, inside, but she couldn't show it, because she was scared. Get it?"

Santana sighed and placed her spoon down, finally noticing Rebecca's waving hands. She grabbed the pink spoon and quickly fed her daughter a spoonful of food. "I just… I don't want to see you like that again, Quinn."

"But Brittany's right, right?" Quinn pointed out, arching an eyebrow at Santana. "It's sort of the same, but still different. Maybe she's ready to talk now. What if she's getting divorced and thinking she wants to give me a chance?"

Santana shook her head. "It seems unlikely though, Quinn, I mean… why hasn't she contacted you earlier, why is it when she_ suddenly_ sees you again that she begins to care? It seems… fake."

Quinn bit her lip and leaned back in her chair again with a sigh. She did see Santana's point, but she also saw Brittany's. And if she was going to follow her own heart and mind.. she was too curious to not do anything about it. There had to be a reason, right? Even if it was just a sudden thought when Rachel ran into Santana in the bathroom, there still had to be a reason for her to follow the Latina? Why else would she? Quinn was curious to find out why! And she didn't have to ask Rachel… Blaine often commented on her statuses on Facebook, and it was the ideal way to contact him… Just… message him and ask casually about the singer, right? It was doable…

She chewed her bottom lip, deep in thought, still so very much confused about everything. It was just a mess, all of it. There was no easy way to figure out what to do, because her heart was telling her one thing, and her mind another. It wasn't like she was still _in love_ with Rachel after all of these years. At least she didn't think so. It was just... Rachel was the one that never was. She was also the first girl Quinn ever really loved, thus giving her a pretty special status in Quinn's development. The boys she dated in high school... she'd loved them, yes, but looking back now, she knew that it wasn't in a romantic kind of way, but in a friendly kind of way. The first person – boy or girl – she loved romantically, that was Rachel. How do one just move on from that? It's not so easy.

"I just..." Santana broke in then, snapping Quinn out of her train of thoughts, "I just don't want to see you get hurt like that again, Q." she finished in a low whisper, and the blonde knew that this was paining her best friend, because Santana was so much like her; she knew exactly what she was going through, and it wasn't a wonderful feeling.

"I know." Quinn smiled warmly at her, and there they were, having one of their moments across the dinner table, "Thank you."

Brittany looked back up then, and breaking one of their rare moments (that had become decidedly less rare after Santana loosened up because of the twins), she said, "I think you should try to contact her, Quinn. Just tell her that you were super happy to see her and wanted more of that."

Quinn smiled warmly at Brittany too and scooped some mashed potatoes into her mouth, "Maybe I will, Britt. I'll have to think more about it though." she mumbled, before swallowing loudly.

Now she just had something else to figure out... what was she going to tell Blaine? She had no idea if Rachel had told Kurt and Blaine about them meeting, but she knew from the couple's Facebook pages that they often spent time with Rachel and Nick; that the four of them were quite close friends. Perhaps she would have told them – or perhaps she wouldn't have? There was no way for Quinn to know.

As Santana and Brittany both turned to make sure that their children were completely fed, Quinn dug into her pocket to check her phone. She couldn't help but smile slightly when she saw that Jessica had texted her a message, asking if she had time to meet up tonight. It wasn't the kind of happy she used to get when Rachel asked to hang out with her; the kind where she'd be thrilled to just spend time with her, doing whatever. But it was the kind of happy that made it throb slightly between her legs, because she knew she was going to get laid, to have fantastic sex.

She quickly typed back a response and looked up again. Placing her fork at the table, she said, "I'm going to go now... Thanks for the advice about Rachel. I'll think about it some more." she pushed her chair back, "And oh! Thanks for dinner. It was lovely, Britt."

Brittany's smile grew wider, "I'm glad you liked it. I mashed those potatoes a lot, didn't I?"

"They were mashed to perfection." Quinn replied, as she stood up. She went around the table to kiss the twins goodbye and hug both Santana and Brittany. She grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and waved goodbye to the little family, before she let herself out.

She really loved to spend time with them like that, but she also couldn't help but feel that she was intruding on their special family-time. She hated that she still felt that way, because she knew they didn't think so. What she hated even more was the feeling of jealousy, that tiny thing in the pit of her stomach that hated them for having something she wanted so badly. She pushed that aside though, because she was happy for them, and they deserved it. It was just so hard when it was exactly what she dreamed of, and that dream was nowhere in sight.

As she finally stepped onto the street beneath their apartment, she opened the newest text from Jessica.

_My place in 30 minutes? _it said.

Quinn bit her lip and quickly typed _God yes_, before heading for the subway.

**-Faberry-**

Rachel was going a little bit crazy; she simply could not wait for her final performance as Sophie in _Mamma Mia!_ She just had too much on her plate right now to juggle two things, she felt like she was going to break down, crying, any moment right now. She actually thought that her ambitions were finally becoming too much for her. It just wasn't possible to have it all, it seemed. Not with a husband to take care of – because if she didn't, she'd soon have no husband at all; relationships really didn't take care of themselves – a husband begging to spend more time with her, to do things with her. She kept telling him that they'd get there soon, that they'd have that time together in just a few weeks.

Kurt demanded attention as her best friend as well. That was attention she was very willing to give though – she had this need to tell him everything as soon as it happened, he was her go-to guy. She texted him with information as soon as she received it; it was just the way their friendship worked, and it had worked like that since high school where they'd put their differences behind them and joined in unity because of their similarities. He was her best friend, perhaps the person who understood her best in the entire world. They were simply so much alike.

There was one thing she hadn't shared with him lately though... and that was her meeting with the Unholy Trinity at _Vela_. She'd thought a lot about it the rest of the evening, after returning to their table and pretending that nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She'd been quiet, upset, and Kurt and Blaine had noticed it, but hadn't really mentioned it. The day after, she'd spent with Nick; simply just having a lovely brunch and snuggling with him on the couch to a movie, before going for a walk together and getting dinner. Nick had loved it, and he hadn't even seemed to notice that Rachel was a little more quiet than usually, a little more thoughtful.

But she had been; she'd kept thinking of Quinn – she simply hadn't been able to help herself. The blonde girl had been on her mind throughout the entire day, and now – two days later – she still was. She couldn't shake those blonde locks out of her mind, it was crazy. She kept thinking back at that moment in the club where their eyes had locked and she had gotten that intense feeling throughout her body. Quinn was something special, and though Rachel had tried to spend the last decade forgetting her, forgetting how upset she felt when Quinn's feeling came out in the open, she simply couldn't _forget_ the way that the blonde girl made her feel. Was she going to have to spend another decade forgetting Quinn again? She'd worked so hard to move on, to push her away, to create a life with Nick that made sense to her... and yet.. there Quinn was again, pushing all of it into the open once more.

Rachel just wasn't sure if... if she could do it all again. The longing to see Quinn once more made her want to toss everything away and just find her, just to talk to her. She had no idea why. Quinn was her friend, and sure, they'd spent a lot of time together back in college, and Rachel had never really had a female friend like her before (or after), but that didn't explain why she was so happy to see her again; why her stomach did such a funny little dance and her heart seemed to speed up. She just wanted to see her once more. The need to see her... it was quickly becoming too much for Rachel to even comprehend.

She had to do something about this, didn't she? She was pretty sure, she did...

On top of that, she'd just burned herself completely out during rehearsals for _West Side Story_. They'd just started on all of the choreography, and there was a lot of it in this revival, their director had, naturally, decided to take this in in an entirely new direction, and Rachel loved it; she got to play her all-time favourite part, but she also got to do it in a new way, blow some new air into this musical classic.

But the choreography was challenging and she was tired, yet she still had to go on tonight – that was what she got for being involved in two projects at once. She didn't have half a mind to say goodbye to any of her co-stars, she simply packed her things together and decided to go out for some lunch before heading home to shower and rest before tonight's show. She said goodbye to one of the dancers on her way pass him and wrapped her scarf around her neck before stepping into the midday sun.

Only to come face to face with... Brittany?

"Hi Rachel!" she said, waving her hand excitedly.

It took a second for the diva brunette to actually realise what was happening, to see that it was Brittany in front of her, and to actually _understand_ that the blonde dancer had a twin-stroller in front of her with two very cute babies in it. Wait what? Brittany had _babies_?

"Brittany..." Rachel whispered while she couldn't quite move her eyes away from the babies to look at her old high school friend. She tore her eyes away from the two kids – a boy and a girl, if the colour of their clothes was any indication at all – and looked at the other woman.

Brittany smiled excitedly and leaned over to hug her. "This is Rico and Rebecca. These are my babies. Oh, and Santana's too. Aren't they deplorable?"

_Deplorable? What does she mean, deplorable babies? Deplorable, deplorable... Oh! She means adorable! _"Yeah, they're very cute, Brittany." Rachel smiled and let her eyes wander over the twins once more. They really were a pair of very cute Latina babies. It was clear to see Santana's genes in them; her slim frame was evident, even on the babies, as well as her hair colour and the shape of her nose and mouth. "May I ask you what you're doing here?" Rachel questioned then. Of course it was a public road and Brittany could very well be out for a walk with her kids, but it seemed unlikely, especially knowing Brittany.

"I was super happy to see you the other day, Rachel!" Brittany said then, nodding her head, "I'm sorry if Quinn and Santana weren't. S said that she hit you real hard on the face, are you okay?"

Rachel smiled, "I'm quite alright, Brittany, and I was happy to see you guys, too."

Brittany jumped excitedly, her blonde her glowing gently in the sun. "Are you super busy right now, or do you have time?" she questioned then.

Rachel checked her watch briefly; she did have time, she just had to have lunch and head home to shower before her show. She did have plans to sleep also, but could she really say no to this golden opportunity that Brittany was giving her? She had no idea what the other woman wanted, but she most definitely wanted to find out. She nodded her head, "I do. Can we get a late lunch somewhere or have you eaten?"

Brittany nodded. "I didn't eat. I was busy calling Kurt because I had to find out where to find you. I was waiting here for forty minutes, but it was all worth it. Which way do we go?" she quickly rattled off, before grabbing the handles on the stroller and smiling even wider at the brunette.

"I know this little café just down the street." Rachel told her and pointed her thumb in the right direction.

"Cool." Brittany replied and turned the stroller around, and the pair started walking down the sidewalk. "I hope you're not mad that I'm here today." Brittany said then; she had a happy bounce in her step, and she was just as cheery as Rachel remembered her. "But I had to talk to you."

"I am not upset, Brittany." Rachel replied with a happy smile, glancing briefly up at her former friend, in awe of the apparent transformation that Brittany had gone through growing up, yet how she still managed to be completely the same as she always had been. She was still Brittany, just a bit more grown up. "Why did you want to speak with me?"

Brittany seemed to think about it for a moment; she hummed to herself, her eyes staring straight ahead, and her front teeth digging slightly into her bottom lip. She sighed then, saying, "Santana said that Quinn shouldn't see you again, because you're a..." she whispered the next part, "_bitch_." she winced, before speaking up again, "But I don't think you're that, Rachel, I just think that Quinn should see you again."

Rachel couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her lips at this point, "You do? Why?" she asked. She was curious to know Brittany's view on things, and really, who could blame her? It had been pretty evident what Santana thought of her, but apparently Brittany viewed things a little differently. "It's here by the way." she added, as the little café came into view. "You want to sit out here?"

Brittany nodded and pushed the stroller to a vacant table, before taking a seat on one of the chairs. She reached into the stroller and took Rico out of his seat, before placing him in her lap and bouncing him slightly. Rebecca was half asleep, watching them with tired eyes and a little frown on her face. "Hi Rico, Mommy's little boy. This is _Rachel_. She's impotent to your auntie Quinnie!" Brittany explained the little guy, while clapping his hands gently together.

Rachel didn't have it in herself to correct Brittany's mix-up with the words, instead she just grabbed a menu to look for something to eat. It had been a long time since she'd last been around Brittany, so she had to tune back into the way that the blonde girl's mind worked, the way she spoke. It wasn't that easy, but Rachel was pretty confident that she'd be just fine after a few hours with her.

"I want the fries." Brittany nodded to herself, "And the salad." she smiled up at Rachel, "I'm looking for jobs again, now that I'm back in shape. I can't get fat like I was when the babies were born." she licked her lips, "I really want a chocolate milkshake. I'll have to have water." she closed the menu and giggled, "Quinn has been super sad a lot these past years." Brittany said then.

Rachel closed her menu also and leaned back in her seat, "She has? Why?"

Brittany shrugged slightly, "It was because of you. She's been happy a lot, too, but sometimes she thinks about you and then she gets sad for awhile. You were really mean to her, but I know why. You were afraid of getting out of your cupboard."

"My cupboa-?" Rachel begun, but bit her tongue, "Oh no, Brittany! I wasn't in any closet. It's completely fine that Quinn is a lesbian, but I'm not. And I'm sorry I didn't handle her confession very well, I was just very scared."

"Yes," Brittany nodded, "scared of coming out. I know. That was the same with San. Even when I made her the t-shirt, she still wouldn't wear it in front of people. It was really silly." she smiled warmly when the waiter approached the table and quickly rattled off her order.

Rachel smiled at the young boy too, and she could immediately see by the way his eyes turned wide when he saw her, that he was a fan. She gave him her order too and couldn't help but smile when he stuttered to answer her with a spluttering 'Mrs. Berry'. She turned back to Brittany then, ready to tell her otherwise about Quinn and her own sexuality. She was completely okay with homosexual people; her fathers were gay; one wouldn't find a person more accepting of gays on the planet than her – you know, other than people who _were _gay.

She crossed her right leg about her left. "I'm sorry if Quinn has been upset because of my behaviour. I apologise deeply. But I am not a homosexual, Brittany."

The blonde woman rolled her eyes. "I didn't say that, silly, I just said you were _gay_."

Rachel sighed heavily and decided to forget that discussion for now. She shook her head, "So what about Quinn? How is she?"

"Well I want you guys to talk again, because I think you're meant to have lady babies like me and San!" Brittany explained to her with seriousness. "You should have a bunch of babies and one of them has to marry either Rico or Rebecca so we can all be family!" she bounced her leg again to keep her son happy.

"But I'm married to Nick." Rachel explained her, "I'm sure you know that, Brittany."

She nodded. "Everybody knows that. Quinn knows it, and she's super upset about it." she looked at her daughter and then back up at Rachel. "You should have Rebecca on your lap. She's going to love it. When you and Quinn get married, she'll call you auntie Rachie."

Rachel's eyes widened, but she reached into the stroller anyway under Brittany's insisting look. The baby was warm and cuddly, and she giggled happily when Rachel turned her around so she could see her mother and her brother across the table from her. The actress tried bouncing her leg like Brittany did all the time, and the young girl squealed happily.

Brittany continued with glee. "I want you and Quinn to talk again. Do you want that?"

Rachel nodded eagerly. "I do want to see Quinn again. I've really missed her. I want to make up for how I treated her... perhaps become acquaintances again, later even friends." she paused, in thought, "I just don't believe that Quinn wants that."

"Oh she does." Brittany murmured, "And I want to help you with all of that. I just have to make sure first that you won't treat her the way you did before." she looked angry then, her blue eyes shooting lightnings. "You were super mean, and I know San doesn't want to work to make Quinn smile again, she worked so hard the last time. So will you be sweet to Q and not make her cry?"

"Of course!" Rachel added, blurting it out before she even managed to think about it; she didn't have to think about it, she just knew that she wanted to see Quinn again, to make up for her mistakes. It was this need inside of her, and Brittany was telling her that she was willing to give her what she needed, she'd just have to keep her promises afterwards. "I'll do anything Brittany. One of my biggest mistakes... it was treating Quinn like that. And it's sort of always been there, in the back of my mind, but I didn't really think about it... not until I saw Quinn the other day. That's when I realised it."

The blonde dancer seemed to think about that for a moment or two, her hands clutched around her son's stomach as she kept a hold of him. He was making small sounds, sucking on his fisted hand, with his pacifier in the other hand. Brittany's face broke into a smile then, her eyes glistening. "Okay. I believe you. So... I'll give you Quinn's phone number and you can try to call her. I'm pretty sure that Quinn will talk to you, maybe. Just as long as Santana doesn't know, because she will be angry with me for giving it to you, and angry with Quinn for talking to you. Okay?"

Rachel nodded, seriously. "Okay.." she paused. "I understand."

"Cool." Brittany replied, before pushing her chair back and standing up. She went around the tiny table and placed Rico on Rachel's other thigh, thus leaving her with two babies on her lap. "Here, take care of them both please. I really need to pee before our food gets here." she explained, before turning around and skipping into the café.

Rachel was left with two strange kids on her lap, but a decidedly happier feeling inside her chest. She was going to get Quinn's phone number, and after that... she was going to get to talk to her.

_Because I'm impotent to Quinn, _Rachel thought to herself with glee, before glancing down at the two kids and baby-talking to them.

**-Faberry- **

"I was surprised that you called me, _Quinn_." Blaine said with curiosity as he approached her on the park bench. He had a cup of take-away coffee in each hand and a smile on his face. "It's just black, I didn't know what you liked..."

Quinn laughed gently as he trailed off, holding out the two coffees she'd picked up herself, thinking that it'd be nicer to do this entire catching-up-thing if they had a hot coffee between their hands.

Blaine laughed, too, "I see you had the some idea as I." he took a seat next to her and nodded towards the coffees. "What you've got there?"

"Coffee with milk." Quinn explained, a laugh playing on her lips as she looked up at him through her blonde bangs, "Wanna trade, get one of each?"

"Oh yeah." Blaine said, and with a little juggling, they traded a cup, and ended up with a coffee with milk and a black coffee each. Blaine took a sip of his and crossed one leg above the other.

Quinn took a long slurp of her coffee and turned to look at him. "So... thanks for meeting me here today." she begun. She'd practised all day, since that very morning when she rolled out of bed, practised what she was going to say to him, how she was going to explain. On the voice-mail she'd left him two days ago, she'd just told him that it was Quinn Fabray and if he had time to meet for coffee one day to catch up, she'd be very happy. He'd called her back, but she'd been in a session with a client, so he'd left a time and date for her, and told her to call if she couldn't make it.

But it had been perfect for her, so here they were, meeting for a cup of coffee and a chat.

Blaine shrugged his shoulders slightly and said, "It sounded like you really wanted to talk to me... So I figured why not, we used to be friends in Glee, it's a shame we're not still." he wetted his lips. "And I guess I was... _curious._"

"Yeah I guess that's true." Quinn replied and breathed in the chilly air around her; spring was such a lovely time of year in New York, her favourite actually, because everything was blooming, it was getting warmer, yet still not hot and uncomfortable like it could be in the summer. She could wear a light jacket and a scarf and be ready for the day.

"So why..." Blaine trailed off, "...did you want to meet me?"

Taking in a deep breath, Quinn arched an eyebrow at him and tried to gather her courage. "Yes! That_ is _the question..." she trailed off and took a sip of her coffee, suddenly feeling stupid for calling him, for setting up this little meeting. Why did she think that this was a good idea? What did she think that Blaine would be able to tell her? Sure... he saw Rachel quite often, but that didn't mean that he'd be able to tell her everything? And why would he? It'd seem so weird to him, if she started asking questions about Rachel after all these years. Seriously, what was she thinking when she called him? How stupid is one person allowed to be? Isn't there a quota or something? Some sort of amount of stupid that one person can be in a year?

Blaine glanced expectantly at her.

"Why did I want to meet you?" Quinn pondered aloud with a thoughtful expression on her face, "Why, why why...?"

Blaine chuckled. "I kinda thought it'd be about Rachel, or am I way off here?"

Perhaps her expression completely gave her away, or maybe it was the tiny gasp that passed her lips? She was pretty sure, though, that her eyes had turned wide, and her lips had parted, and maybe that was why Blaine was looking at her with a look of satisfaction, as if he was completely right and had guessed about everything accurately. Quinn licked her lips. "What? Who? Rachel? _Why_?"

He raised an eyebrow.

Quinn sighed. "Yes, it was sort of about Rachel..."

"Alright," he said then, nodding his head, "so what is it? Of course I know that things didn't turn out so well between you two, but why suddenly the interest again?"

"Rachel didn't tell you that she ran into Santana, Brittany and I at _Vela_ last weekend?" Quinn questioned curiously. She hadn't thought that the actress would have told them, but she might've, although it didn't seem like it. However the blonde didn't give her friend time to answer, she quickly continued on with her explanation, not wanting to drag it out, "Yeah, Santana went to the bathroom and when she came back, there Rachel was, following her. And... it didn't turn out so well. Santana was pissed, Brittany seemed indifferent, and I was... I was very confused about the way I felt, suddenly seeing her there."

Blaine seemed completely surprised about this new turn of events; it was apparent that Rachel hadn't shared the news with him. "That explains why she was acting so strange when she came back from the bathroom..." he trailed off in thought.

Quinn nodded. "I don't know, I just... I'm not thrilled with the way it brought back all these feelings... She – she broke me down. But..." Quinn couldn't hide the small smile that started growing on her face then. "I also couldn't ignore the way it made me really _happy _to see her again, you know?"

He nodded. "I can imagine that that must've been hard for you. Rachel's my friend, but I never thought that she treated you rightfully back then."

She smiled warmly back at him, thankful that at least he wasn't taking Rachel's side in this, because that might've made it awkward for her. "I guess I just tried calling you because I wanted to hear why she would approach me that way, what she thought she might accomplish by doing it... and... and I was just, I don't know, curious to find out how she was doing. I mean, I know how she's doing through the media and her shows, but... is she happy?"

Blaine looked at her with a soft expression on his face; she was pretty sure that her own expression – at this point – mirrored the way she was feeling inside; sad, a little bit heartbroken, confused, betrayed, unloved... She was pretty sure it was all there in her eyes and that he could see it. She'd spent her entire high school career hiding the way she was feeling inside, and it was only when she started growing in senior year, after her punk-phase, that she started opening up a little bit. And it was Rachel who finally managed to make her really open up in college. And apparently all of that came back full-force when she thought about Rachel, spoke about her. It wasn't just that easy to hide.

"She's happy." Blaine said, as a matter-of-fact. "Nick's treating her well, the way he always has done. The guy worships the ground she walks on, and you know Rachel... she loves that." he chuckled to himself. "They're talking about having kids as soon as Rachel can make some room in her schedule. You know her career's going well, she's doing _West Side Story _as soon as _Mamma Mia! _is over. I think she's pretty much got everything that she ever wanted."

Quinn nodded, as the words he was saying settled in. She was happy to hear that Rachel was doing great, she was!, but on some level... she might have hoped that the other woman was just a little bit unhappy, just struggling at little bit to keep that show-stopping smile on her face. If she was a little bit unhappy, it might have been because Quinn was not in her life anymore, it might have been because she missed her... But if Rachel was doing fine, there was no hope at all that that was the way things were.

It pained Quinn to know that she was the only one of the two of them who was still lingering in the past, carrying the tiny hope that maybe, possibly, someday they'd be able to meet again and catch up on all the things they'd missed, move on from the past and get a bright future where they'd be in each other's lives somehow.

It was just a silly dream... a stupid dream. Because even though it'd ease her pain, it'd also make it worse. Because seeing Rachel everyday, remembering what went down, being her friend and _just_ her friend – it'd absolutely kill Quinn slowly from the inside. And she'd finally managed to move on; she was happy, she had a life, she had Santana and Brittany and the twins, she had Jessica, she had a business... who did Rachel think she was, stepping into it like that again, after so many years apart?

"Soo..." Blaine trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah." Quinn mumbled, clutching her coffee. "Thanks Blaine, I just... I was just curious."

He offered her a look, one of complete understanding, and said, "Hey, I get it, I know, Quinn..." he sipped his coffee. "So. You want to go for a walk now, or do you have to head back to work already?"

Quinn checked her watch; she had to head back to work, that was certain, because she had a client coming in in thirty minutes. "Unfortunately I have to go..." she said and stood up from the bench with a smile playing on her lips. Even if this meeting had been set up because of Rachel, she felt that it had been so easy to talk to Blaine; like the good times they shared in high school, and in some way... she'd actually really missed him. "But thanks for meeting me, Blaine."

He ran a hand through his curly hair and stood up as well, a crooked grin on his face. "We should do lunch soon, Quinn... Keep in touch. I've missed you."

She felt her smile turn really genuine for the first time since she saw him and nodded faintly. "Yes... yes. That sounds... great. I'll call you." she promised him, and leaning in to hug him, she knew that this promise, she was going to keep.

* * *

><p><em>I'm so sorry about the slight delay with this chapter. I had a crazy week with work and school last week, and the weekend before that, my girlfriend came to stay with me, so all my time was pretty much spent with her since we don't see each other too often ;) I hope you're all still reading though, and that you liked this chapter :) let me know what you think, your reviews are really appreciated! <em>

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

It was entirely on purpose that Quinn kept avoiding Rachel's calls. The first two times she'd picked up the phone with a cheery 'Quinn Fabray speaking?' because it had been an unfamiliar number, but it could be a new client – after hours calls to the office were forwarded to her or Alice's phone – but as soon as she'd heard Rachel's voice on the other end of the line, she'd hit the red button and ended the call. After the two first times, she'd been clever enough to remember the digits and just hit ignore after that.

She _didn't_ want to talk to Rachel. After her talk with Blaine the other day, she felt like there was no need for her to revisit the heartbreak she'd been through back in college. For a brief second, the day after they'd bumped into each other at _Vela_, she'd tossed the idea around for a little bit; played with it inside her mind, just wondered what it might be like to be friends with Rachel again. And even though Santana had been against it, Brittany's positive mind had had her really considering it. That's why she'd set up her meeting with Blaine – she'd just wanted some information before going for it. She had to know, she had to find out how Rachel was doing, if she was still happy, if there was anything that the public didn't know about their Broadway Darling.

Unfortunately (or fortunately? Quinn couldn't quite decide if it was a good thing or not) Blaine had told her what she'd already known from the magazines and Twitter and Facebook and Rachel's fan-page. Not that she was stalking all of them or anything, she'd just... she was just informed of everything Broadway. Not just Rachel, but... all... those other performers too!

But anyway... Blaine had told her that Rachel was happy; that her career was going wonderfully, that she was happier than ever with Nick, that they were planning to start a family. Why was Quinn going to get involved in her life now? It made no sense. If she picked up the phone when Rachel called her, she'd just have to watch them have kids and be a family... She didn't want that, she just wanted her own life to be the way it had been lately. She was good – she hadn't been happy without Rachel and it had taken time to get over her, but she was finally good. She had Jessica and she had a wonderful job, why mess with that?

It was getting annoying with all those calls though. Rachel had kept on calling her the past three days. Quinn just wanted her to stop, she didn't have the energy for this. Today she just wanted to go home and relax; she'd had a tough day at work. One of her patients had had a complete breakdown in front of her, and after hours she'd had to file a lot of paperworks, before heading straight to the gym for a very intense workout that she'd _really_ needed. She'd been so tense and hard-wired lately, so it had been wonderful to run it out and then give the punching-bag all she had for twenty minutes afterwards. Now she was almost home, a bag of Chinese in one hand, her gym-bag over one shoulder, and her work-bag in the other hand. She was looking forward to falling onto her couch, eating Chinese and drinking a glass of that cheap red wine she had in her refrigerator while watching lame, old sitcoms.

She climbed the stairs in her building, all the way to the second floor. Balancing her food and her bag in on hand, she dug through her bag to find the keys to her apartment. She had to fumble through her books, her papers, her wallet and a lot of tampons, before her fingers finally met something cold. Pulling the key out of the bag, she looked up – only to find Rachel standing expectantly in front of her door, one leg crossed over the other and a nervous smile playing across her face.

Before Quinn could stop herself, Rachel's name had left her lips, "Rachel!" she breathed as she came to a halt, her jaw slightly open and her keys dangling from one hand, "...what are you doing here?"

Rachel pushed herself away from the door and took a step closer. Her hands were hanging nervously by her side as she dared to look Quinn in the eyes. "I know you probably didn't want to talk to me because you hung up the phone..." she trailed off, but before she managed to add to that, Quinn had interrupted her.

"You got that right." she said, brushing pass her to get to her door. She jiggled her keys a little and stuck them in the keyhole.

"I'm sorry." Rachel added again, and Quinn could feel her burning stare at the back of her neck as she tried to ignore her, "I just, I couldn't take no for an answer, because I feel like I owe you an apology for last weekend."

_That's not the only thing you owe me an apology for, _Quinn added inside her head, but didn't say anything aloud. She simply opened her door and stepped into her apartment. Placing her things onto the hallway floor, she turned to look at Rachel again, one hand on the door handle and the other one on her hip. "I don't get why you're here." she simply stated, because really, it might be right (Rachel did owe her countless of apologies), but it didn't matter. It was better if she just stayed away. After much deliberation, Quinn had decided that it was the lesser of two evils.

Rachel's wide eyes turned just a little sadder as she said, "I'm sorry I followed Santana, and I'm sorry if I ruined your night. But I – I just wanted you to know that... I do think about you, Quinn, I wonder so much how you are, if you're happy. And I'm sorry I treated you the way I did." she licked her lips, and even though Quinn hated herself for it, she couldn't help but followed the pink tongue with her eyes, "It was wrong of me, but I didn't know how to handle it. Not that that makes it any better..." she trailed off with a sigh. "I miss you, Quinn."

Quinn could feel her heart beat so roughly against her ribcage that she was pretty sure that Rachel had to be able to hear it, too. She could hear the rush of blood in her ears, the tingle in her lower body, and the small hairs on her arms rise. She felt flushed, but she did her best to hide it. Rachel had no right to have this power over her! After all these years, she still managed to get her hot and bothered with just one look, just the right words. And it wasn't fair, it really was not fair! Quinn closed her eyes slightly, staring the brunette down. She had to be strong for this; she had to pull through. "How did you get my number?" she coldly asked then.

A flicker or hurt passed across Rachel's face as the cold words hit her. "I... I... I..." she stuttered, and Quinn wondered what lie she was going to say now, because it was pretty evident that it was not the truth by the way she was stalling. The singer sighed. "I got it from Brittany."

Quinn looked at her; that was not what she had expected at all. She'd thought that some far-fetched lie would pass the singer's lips, but now she was actually pretty sure that it was the truth she had just said. She didn't know though, how Brittany fitted into all of this, all she knew was that she could never – in her life – get mad at her bubbly blonde friend. Damn Brittany and her adorable ways, because this was most definitely something that one ought to get mad about.

"Look," Rachel said then, taking one step closer, slipping just a few inches nearer, "don't get mad at Brittany, she did all of this because she's a lovely girl who has her heart in the right place." she seemed slightly more relaxed now, but also more eager, "She could see that I wanted to see you, that I've missed you. And I have, Quinn, so much. And I was hoping that... that we could maybe, possibly, try to spend some time together again?" she lowered her voice and it fell to almost a whisper, "I realise that I have a lot to make up for in the past, but I want to try. I want to be friends again. Neither of us has clean slates... You treated me horribly in high school, and I made a huge mistake in college." she locked her brown eyes with Quinn's and the blonde girl could see that she was sincere, that she really meant it, "Let's just... start a fresh, please? Let's just... grab a cup of coffee. Or make noodles. Like in the good old days."

Quinn wanted to get so mad at her for even stepping by, for crossing that boundary, for thinking that her behaviour could just be accepted and forgiven. But she also couldn't help but see Rachel's point of view... Yes. They'd both made mistakes. Quinn had spent the better part of high school tormenting Rachel to the extreme. Slushying her, hurting her, drawing pornographic pictures of her in the bathroom stalls (even though, now, she sort of understood where those had come from). But Rachel had forgiven her, she'd straight up forgotten everything and told Quinn that it was okay. She'd decided go let go of the past and have a great experience in college together. They'd been so great friends after that, all because Rachel had been the bigger person and forgiven her for her mistakes. Sure, she'd started doing that already in senior year of high school where they mutually decided that they were sort of friends, but starting college together in the same city... It had been the new beginning they had both needed. New people, new city – a whole new life.

But could Quinn really do what Rachel had done? Could she forgive and forget like that? She'd _never_ been a forgiving person. And wasn't what Rachel had done much worse? She had entirely disregarded Quinn's feelings, stomped all over her heart with her five-inch stilettos. How could one just move on from that – forget it? Quinn was almost certain that she _wouldn't_ be able to.

"I'm sorry Rachel," she said, shaking her head gently, as her eyes scanned the other girl's face for emotions, "but I can't... You broke me, and one just doesn't fix that."

"But we can!" Rachel argued with a soft – yet determined – voice. "We can, Quinn, we were so good together... so great friends."

Quinn shook her head again and clenched her hand tightly around the door handle. "No." she firmly said, taking a step back. "Just... Go back to your husband and your perfect life, Rachel, I really don't need this." she said, before she closed the door soundlessly and turned the lock.

She kept standing in the hallway though, holding her breath. She could still hear Rachel on the other side of the door, her erratic breathing and the way she was trying to hold back tears. After all these years, Quinn still knew her; she hadn't changed that much if not at all. She licked her lips, breathing soundlessly through her nose for a few seconds, until she heard the distinct sound of footsteps leaving the hallway in front of her door. She was quiet still, listening while the steps faded away. It wasn't until she heard the front door to the street close with a smack, that she fell to the floor, her back against the door.

She couldn't help it; she let the tears fall.

**-Faberry-**

Nick was watching TV when she got home. She didn't really need that, she'd hoped that he'd be out with some of his friends or perhaps at the gym, because she really needed some quiet alone-time. Had she wanted to interact with someone, she would have called Kurt and asked him to grab some dinner with her. If she'd wanted to talk to _anyone_, it would have been him. With him she could have discussed what had just happened; she could have vented about her horrible day to him and he would have agreed with her, humoured her. She loved Nick, she really did, but she could just not vent to him the same way.

She dropped her things by the door with a heavy sigh and kicked off her shoes. She hung her jacket on the hanger and turned to the big mirror above the bureau. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to stall. She knew that Nick had heard the front door open and close, it was impossible not to in this apartment, but she just needed a second to think things over.

She'd gone to Quinn's apartment today because... because she hadn't been able to stop herself. She'd been so frustrated when Quinn kept ignoring her calls – she wanted to talk to her, she needed to. She had to explain herself, try to make good again. So she'd texted Brittany and gotten Quinn's address, ready to go over there and face her instead of hiding behind her phone. It hadn't gone according to plane though. Of course she hadn't been deluded into thinking that Quinn would just welcome her with open arms into her home and they'd kiss and make up, but.. she'd at least hoped that the blonde would have listened, that they'd talk for a few minutes and agree to meet up on even turf, perhaps go out for lunch or something. But Quinn had been more hostile than ever.

And on top of that.. She'd had the worst day at rehearsals today. They'd been practising choreography on stage for the first time, and their dance instructor had fallen off the stage with a smack. It had been a stupid accident, but he'd been driven off to the hospital in an ambulance and she was still waiting for the call where she'd hear how he was doing – what had happened to him, and how it would affect them and the show. It was horrible, really, she felt sorry for him, but also for all the other people whose jobs this would affect. If something was broken, he'd have to pull out of the show, and if they couldn't find someone else that was good enough, someone with the right experience who could take the job immediately... They'd be screwed. There was so much dancing in this show and it really depended on the right instructor if they were going to succeed.

"Rachel? Is that you, Honey?" Nick called from the living room then, his voice slightly curious. Of course he would be; it wasn't often she returned home like this after a day – a day where she'd been lucky enough to do what she loved the _most_ – usually she came home bubbly and ready to talk about everything.

She heaved in a deep breath and turned towards the living room. "Yeah it's me." she smiled at him, her side leaning against the door way. She couldn't help but admire her handsome husband; he was in his right element. He had the television on mute, just the way he liked it, and his beloved laptop on his lap, his fingers resting against the keyboard. He had notes and pens lying everywhere on the couch around him, and there was a half-empty cup of coffee on the coffee table. He'd been writing all day, and she could tell by his satisfied expression that it had gone well. She almost couldn't bare that she was going to ruin his good mood by talking about her horrible day.

He looked up from his screen and smiled brilliantly at her. "You wanna grab us two beers and come sit with me?" he asked her, before he closed his laptop and placed it on the floor. He started sorting his papers out, and Rachel blew him a kiss, before she turned on her heel and went into their tiny kitchen.

She opened the refrigerator and grabbed two cold beers from the top shelf, before she opened the drawer to find the bottle opener. It was a good thing that he'd suggested this, now that she had the bottles in her hand, she could tell that she really needed the relaxation that came with a good, cold beer.

Shuffling into the living room again, she sat down on the couch next to her husband, resting her head on his shoulder and handing him his beer. They both took a long sip, before she adjusted herself so she sat more comfortably.

"I've had a great day today." Nick told her, placing a gentle kiss at the top of her head. "I feel like I'm really onto something, I've written twenty pages."

Rachel looked up at him wit an impressed smile. "Twenty pages? Really? You must've been on a roll, huh?"

Nick chuckled. "I really was, Rach." he took another drink of his bottle and sighed. "So how was your day?"

She resisted the urge to growl and simply said. "Our choreographer fell down the stage at rehearsals." she said, staring straight ahead, not really wanting to look him in the eye, "I don't know how he is yet, but he was driven off in an ambulance." she made a face and turned to glance at him, "I'll probably receive the news tomorrow, but... What if he can't work right now? The show will really suffer. It's not easy finding someone at such short notice. All the good Broadway instructors are already working at other shows."

"I'm sorry, babe." Nick replied with a raised eyebrow. "I hope he's okay, this is your dream show!"

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. "I just have this feeling, you know..." she whispered, digging her front teeth into her lower lip, "I can just feel that he's not going to be okay, and then what are we going to do? Maybe the show will have to go on hiatus."

Nick pressed another kiss to her hair and whispered, "Well, baby, if it turns out like that, you should put a positive spin on things..." he trailed off, his rough fingers trailing down her bare arm, making her shiver because of the coldness, "If you can't work, we should get pregnant now. Once the baby's born... you'll audition for something new, take them by storm and get the part."

Turning quickly on the spot, Rachel glared him down. "I can't believe you'd just say that." she argued, and she wanted to get so pissed at him, even though she knew that it was slightly unfair. It wasn't his fault that everything had turned out horribly today, that the way Quinn had treated her had her on age right about now, because it was all simmering beneath the surface. "This is my _dream role_, Nick!" she hissed at him, pushing herself off the couch so she could stand up and look down at him. "It's been my part since I was very young, it's what my fathers and I have worked towards for a very, very long time!" she shook her head at him, "You can't just disregard it like that."

"I'm not disregarding your talent." Nick quickly replied, and he looked very surprised to be attacked like that, which – really – was understandable. "I know that this is the part you've always wanted to be, Rachel, and I know that Broadway would really be missing out without your talent. I went through all of that, too. Remember? It's where we met, it's _how_ we met. At NYADA. I'm just saying that even though your dreams are big, even though you're still living them out, you ought to have other dreams, too. Like starting a family with me. Your husband. Leave something behind, something much bigger than playbills and original soundtracks."

Rachel glared at him; she didn't know what to say. Perhaps it was because she knew that he was right, that she had no right to get angry at him, and that if the show really got cancelled, it would be the ideal time to start a family like they'd already agreed they would. She just... she just didn't want the show to get cancelled, and she didn't want to start a family _now_. She _needed_ to be Maria, so they just needed to find a solution to the problem.

She placed her bottle on the coffee table and turned to look at him. "I'm going to Kurt's."

"What!" Nick hissed, shooting out of the couch like it was suddenly on fire. "You can't just leave. Baby..." his voice turned soft as he reached out for her, grabbing her gently by the elbow to keep her there. "Rachel, come on... I don't want to fight over this, I'm sorry if I said something to upset you. I just... I want to start a family with you so bad. I know that Maria is everything you've ever really dreamed of and I hope that you'll get to be her, you're so close to your goal now."

She held her breath as she turned her head to glance at him. She knew it wasn't fair to do this, that she was overreacting. But it wasn't just his stupid phrasing, they way he'd accidentally said something that came out wrong. It was everything with Quinn, also, and it had her so messed up in the head, she couldn't really function properly. And perhaps she was just confused because _West Side Story _was everything she had right now after _Mamma Mia! _was over. Don't get her wrong, she'd loved to be Sophie, but it was also a good thing that it was done, because it gave her time to focus more on other things. Her friendships... Her husband. Someone she'd really neglected while she'd been juggling two shows. It wasn't fair of her to do this to him.

Nick smiled charmingly at her. "Just relax, Rach, you know I'm there for you. I didn't mean to upset you."

Rachel turned around fully then and placed her arms around him with a happy sigh. She moulded her body against his and squeezed him tightly as she drew in his smell. He had the best smell, the most comforting since her fathers' when she was little. "I'm sorry, too." she murmured into the warm skin of his neck, "For overreacting. My day's just been horrible."

"I could tell." Nick chuckled, as he squeezed her even tighter and pulled her feet a few inches off the ground, in the way he'd always hugged her.

She couldn't help but giggle.

Placing her gently on the ground again, Nick pulled back. He reached a finger out and softly brushed a piece of her runaway hair out of her face. "It's funny you should mention Kurt's though..." he trailed off as he wiggled his eyebrows. "He called earlier. He's making dinner for four. I bought wine."

She couldn't help it, she lit up like a Christmas tree, "Really?"

Nick laughed. "Yup! So you better hurry into the shower, m'lady. You carriage awaits in forty-five minutes." he checked his watch, "And by carriage... I mean cab, but you go figure."

Rachel squealed happily, and before she turned to flee into their bedroom, she placed a gentle kiss on Nick's cheek. It was great that they were going to Kurt and Blaine's. She'd had a shitty day, but Kurt's dinners were always fabulous and perhaps she'd be able to talk to him in the kitchen while Nick and Blaine discussed whatever it is that they usually discussed when they're alone.

She grabbed some nice clothes, a clean towel – and was off to the bathroom.

**-Faberry- **

"Something smells so nice." Rachel greeted her best friend as she slipped into the kitchen after having said hi to Blaine and handed him the red wine that Nick had bought. "Hi Sweetie." she kissed his cheek and took another whiff of the delicious scent in the kitchen.

Kurt flashed all of his teeth at her and pecked her cheek also. "Oh, why thank you, Ms. Berry." he bowed slightly for her as he presented the impeccable kitchen table, set with everything they needed, yet clean after all of the cooking. "It's all vegan for the occasion. No need to thank me."

Rachel giddily clapped her hands together, "You shouldn't have!" she scurried across the floor and knelt down in front of the oven to take a look at what he had steaming in there. "Kurt, you're the absolutely best."

"Oh, I know." he said and fluffed his hair just because.

The diva smiled widely at him and grabbed a chair by the kitchen table. "I really needed this today, Kurt, it's like you read my mind or something."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Nick texted me about the problems with your instructor before you got here. I was told not to mention _West Side Story_. So this is me, not mentioning it." he turned around to stir something on the frying pan for a second, before he turned to her again.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That's like him. When did he have time to do that?"

"I'm assuming you were in the shower." Kurt replied as he turned to the refrigerator to grab the bowl of salad in there. He placed it in front of her with a smile. "I'm very nearly done. Will you take this and get the boys to their seats and I'll be there quickly with the rest of the food."

She grabbed the bowl from the table and offered her best friend a smile. "Thanks Kurt, you're really the best." she said, sincerely, before she turned on her heel and went into living room where Kurt had set up a table for four. She placed the bowl on the table and turned to look at her husband and her friend. "Guys, take a seat, food's ready."

Nick stood up from his seat in the couch and wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulder, pulling her close to his body. "Blaine was just telling me how he ran into Quinn Fabray the other day. Remember her, honey, your old friend?"

As soon as the words left Nick's lips, Rachel turned to Blaine with wide eyes. "He was?"

"Mhm." Nick whispered, before taking a seat on one of the chairs. "I don't understand why you two suddenly stopped being friends, babe, you used to be together all the time back in college."

Grabbing the chair next to her husband, Rachel absent-mindedly replied, "We uhm... we grew apart." all the while she was watching Blaine with a curious eye as her pulse was beating thickly beneath her skin.

Blaine was looking at her with a saying expression; he was seeing right through her, and she didn't like it. She could tell that he knew something, that he'd talked to Quinn and she had told him something. Rachel was quite certain that Kurt didn't know whatever it was that Blaine knew because he would have blurted it out immediately. But Blaine... he knew. He knew about them meeting at _Vela_, because – what else could it be that he knew?

Nick shook his head to himself just as Kurt entered the room with the rest of their food. "What a shame," he said, "I liked her. She was a lovely girl and a good influence on you, Rachel. You were more open and relaxed around her."

"Who was what?" Kurt questioned as he took a seat next to Blaine and reached for the wine that Blaine had – fortunately – already opened. If Kurt tried to open anything of the sort, it always ended horribly, and he'd have to dry-clean all of his clothes to get the stains out.

"Quinn." Blaine replied with a saying look. "I was just telling Nick and Rachel how I had coffee with her the other day."

Rachel thanked Kurt for the wine, but all she could think about was how Blaine had talked to Quinn, and what had happened between them. Had it been on purpose or an accident? Had he contacted her or had she contacted him? Had they just run into each other on accident somewhere or what? All these questions inside her head that she was dying to get an answer to. And she knew that Blaine was loving seeing her struggle and squirm like this. He was enjoying it, that was for sure; his grin and the glint in his eye told her that.

Kurt tasted the wine carefully as he meshed his lips together. "Lovely wine, Nick." he said, before he continued, "Darling, you never told me what you and Quinn talked about? How is she?"

"Good." Blaine replied with a firm expression in Rachel's direction.

The diva cut into her tofu and ate a piece while pretending that she wasn't noticing anything.

The curly-haired man continued, "She asked about all of us, of course. She even asked about you guys." he said.

When Rachel didn't answer, Nick cleared his throat and said, "Oh yeah, of course... We invited her to the wedding. Well, I did, because Rachel kept insisting that their feud was not something to just get over, but... She didn't come." he shrugged his shoulders and happily dug into the mixed salad on his plate. He forked a tomato and continued, "So yeah. I'm glad she's good. What – what is she doing now?"

Blaine took a sip of his wine and said, "She's a psychologist. She has her own business with a friend. They – they do all sort of things. Regular clients, couple's therapy, that sort of thing." he nodded his head. "We didn't actually get to talk about this, but we've been texting back and forth since, it's been great."

"That sounds..." Rachel bit her lip and forced out a smile, "that sounds very great. I'm glad she's good."

"Kept asking about you though." Blaine added with that certain look in his eyes, daring her to bite.

She _wasn't_ going to.

But Nick was, "What'd she say?"

"Just if you guys were still together." Blaine replied. "Which you are."

"Of course we are." Rachel said then, moving her hand to rest on Nick's thigh, beneath the dinner table. "Why wouldn't we be? Quinn and I were friends. Good friends. She knew me better than anyone, so she should know that when I pledge to love someone and stay married to them forever, I will." she smiled warmly at Nick; she was trying to ask casual, to not freak out, but it was hard when she was sweating and her heart was beating wildly. She felt like she was being interrogated, and she knew that that was exactly what Blaine wanted her to feel.

Because he knew something that neither Kurt nor Nick knew, and he wanted to mess with her, to make her sweat.

She just didn't know if she liked this game or not.

"Alright." Kurt said then, causing the weird tension at the table to break up. He raised his glass. "Moving on from that. Let's all raise our glass to..." he searched for a second, for the right thing to toast for.

"Love." Nick said, with a loving smile to Rachel.

Blaine added, "_Honesty_."

Kurt nodded, "And to friendship." he said.

"To happiness." Rachel whispered, before clinking her glass with theirs.

_Happiness_, she thought as she took a sip of her wine, _I've got everything I always wanted... A loving husband, two best friends, a blossoming career, the promise of a wonderful little family... Why am I not _happy_ with this? Why?_

* * *

><p><em>I am SO sorry about the long delay between chapters, I feel horrible, I really do. Last time my excuses were lame (though legit), and this time my computer crashed. I finally got set up with a new one but I had to type up a part of the chapter again because I lost everything. I hope to be able to update much more frequently from now on, because I simply have been too slow. <em>

_I want to thank all of you guys for your support with this story – I love to hear what you think :) _

_So what did you all think of the end of the last episode? There's been so many things on the show lately that I just haven't been able to understand... Sometimes it feels like it's all over the place to me, and this definitely is, too. So let me hear what you guys think about this too? :) _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Everything was horrible right now, basically. Or at least Rachel thought so.

She'd arrived early for rehearsals because the director of _West Side Story _had asked for her – and her co-star – to meet him there. He hadn't wanted to tell her what exactly it was that they needed to talk about when he phoned her, but she'd had that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach since she hung up the phone, and her fears had truly been confirmed when they'd talked to him.

It hadn't been possible – for right now – to find a new choreographer for the show, which meant that, for the moment, they'd pushed the schedule around a little bit while they searched for one. All the good and known Broadway choreographers were already working on other shows or booked for other things they couldn't exactly get out of, so now the director was going to have to hold auditions and meetings with possible talents. It meant that the actors were going to start working on acting out the scenes; something they'd had scheduled for after the dance numbers were done.

It was great that they'd been able to move the schedule around like that, after all, a lot of different people were involved and they'd made the schedule to fit around everyone; people depended on this, they all had lives, so Rachel was thankful that it had even been possible, that they didn't have to postpone the show or even cancel it. They still needed to find a new choreographer quickly though, because they only had so much time before they needed to get back to the original plan.

Therefore Rachel had gone into thinking-mood. She'd gone home, been pleased to see that Nick was out for a meeting with his editor. It was exactly what she needed; she'd turned the music on, the kind of Broadway classics that Nick didn't enjoy at the volume she did, and then changed into work-out clothes. And while she'd been working out, she'd pondered things about the show over, but eventually given up – she had no solutions, and instead she'd cleared her head for all thoughts, because if there was one thing she hated, it was thinking about a problem but finding no solutions.

She pushed everything aside and finished working out. But before she took her shower, she called Kurt in desperation, because if anyone in the world would be able to cheer her up right now, it was her best friend. Sure, she might just have been with him the other night for dinner, but it wasn't the same, she needed girls' time, and that was exactly what Kurt did best.

When she got out of the show some minutes later, Kurt was sitting on the couch with boxes of Thai in front of him and a giant smile on his face.

"What did I ever do without you?" Rachel sighed and sat down next to him, immediately grabbing the box that was not in front of him. "Is that my favourite?"

"Sure is, Divalicious." Kurt replied and handed her a fork, "You should be happy I was just going for lunch now. I've got about an hour left before I really have to go, so – spill." he opened his own box and dug his fork into it, "We didn't really have much time to talk the other night, so what's all this about? Are you okay?"

Rachel brushed her wet hair behind her ear and stared into her Thai box for a second or two, as she thought things over. "I dunno..." she whispered lowly, "I'm feeling weird these days."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at her and said, "I gathered that, yes."

She made a face at him and spun her fork around in her box, before filling her mouth with the hot spices. She savoured the taste of it and swallowed with a loud moan. "That's good."

"So is this... you feeling weird... is it just because of the show, or what is happening with that?" Kurt continued on, glancing at her weirdly. "And by the way, not a big fan of those moans, Sweetie. Could you try to control yourself, I don't want to ever imagine what you might sound like in bed."

Rachel rolled her eyes at him and picked up her glass of milk. "Ha. Ha." she sarcastically replied, before taking a gulp of the white liquid. "It's partly because of the show, I mean, I know they're trying to handle it, but if they can't find someone new, it's going to affect me and everybody else. But it's sort of out of my hands."

He nodded. "Yes, I guess that's true." he sipped his milk as well. "You're sure you don't know anyone who'd be able to just take that job and do it brilliantly?"

"I'm still thinking." Rachel replied, nodding her head and kicking back slightly in her seat. She crossed her legs, Indian-style, and sunk her shoulders. This was pure and true satisfaction. She loved these moments with Kurt, they were her absolute favourite times whenever they happened.

"I'll keep thinking, too." Kurt replied with a small smile. He re-crossed his legs then, and watched her in silence.

She was eating her food quietly, but she could feel his gaze on her, she could feel the prickling touches as his eyes moved over her body. She knew he was looking at her, studying her. She could feel that he wanted to talk to her, and – in some way – she could feel that she _needed_ to talk to him, too. She just wasn't sure about what. It was... It was like there was this pile of words, just building up inside of her, and she had no idea how to get them out on her own. She needed him to pick at her, to poke her, and if she knew her friend like she _knew_ she did, he'd do just that.

"Sweetie." Kurt broke the silence then, placing his Thai box on the table and moving just an inch closer to her. "I feel as though something is really upsetting you these days." he licked his lips, continuing on, "If it's not just about the show... I really need you to tell me what else, because I hate to see you this upset."

Rachel dug her front teeth into her bottom lip as she had had a habit of doing lately, and sighed heavily. "I don't know!" she replied, shaking her head slightly. "I'm so confused, Kurt, because I... I keep thinking..."

Kurt urged her on, "Keep thinking about what...?"

"Keep thinking..." she swallowed loudly and stared out of the window in resistance.

"I'm going to go out on a limp here..." Kurt continued in his annoying I-know-better voice, "I'm guessing that you're confused about Nick lately, because... Because Blaine mentioned Quinn the other day, and it's ripping up in all these old feelings and things that you never really talked about, and..." he sighed and brushed some invisible wrinkles out of his pants, "Blaine sort of told me that uh... that Quinn said to him that you talked to her when we were at _Vela_?"

Rachel's head snapped to the side immediately, her eyes flashing with worry, "He did what?" she shrieked out, and the minute the words had left her lips, she heard how they sounded and repeated, "I mean – he did what?" in a much calmer voice.

Kurt chuckled lowly and picked his food back into his lap, before replying, a glint in his eyes, "Firstly, I am _so_ mad that you didn't tell me that, Mrs. Rachel Berry," he told her in a sassy voice, "and secondly, oh my God!, what happened that night?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at him, and took another bite of her food. Just to annoy him – because she knew he found it gross – she started talking before she'd chewed her food, "Why is everybody making such a big deal out of me running into Quinn? It's just two old friends meeting up by incident!"

"Oh no!" Kurt shook his head, "Don't you dare talk to me with your mouth full, thinking it'll get me off track!" he reached a hand out and closed her mouth with it. "And stop trying to pretend that this isn't about you running into Quinn, because you and I both know that if anything's making you upset, it's that."

Rachel swallowed her food and stared at him with wide eyes. "Quinn is just an old friend, why would that upset me?"

Kurt sighed loudly and gazed at her with worry. "Why are you playing pretend with me, Rachel? We've been friends for how many years now? Since high school, yes." he nodded his head to himself, "You can't fool me, because _I know you_. And I know that seeing Quinn again is upsetting you, because things weren't what you made them seem. So. Are you going to tell me what's going on or not?" he finished in a low whisper.

She knew that she was defeated; she might as well give in. Kurt knew her, he could read her. And even though she hadn't told him everything that had happened in her life – not even back when her friendship with Quinn had ended – she had a feeling that he just knew. He could read her, well, basically read her thoughts. Everything was not what it seemed with that, because she had things that she hadn't told anyone, that she hadn't even dared to admit to herself. Could she though? Could she admit everything to Kurt right now – because that meant that she had to admit it to herself as well?

She closed her eyes for a second and breathed calmly in.

It would make her feel better, she was sure of it. It'd make her feel more relaxed, calm. Get her head on straight. Kurt was her voice of reason, her go-to-guy. He was the friend in need, the person she could always come to. He rarely judged her. He'd help her... wouldn't he?

She opened her eyes again and locked them with his. "I keep thinking about her." she admitted.

"Quinn?"

"Yes." Rachel confirmed.

"Alright, so..." Kurt paused for a second, as he thought things over, "Did you think about her before you ran into her or just after you saw her again?"

"I didn't think about her before." Rachel quickly admitted, and that was the truth. After she and Quinn ended their friendship, she'd vowed to herself to stop wondering about Quinn and focus entirely on Nick and their marriage. It was something she'd told herself to do, and by that she'd done it; because that was how she was. She completed everything she started, and when she told herself to stop doing something, she would, as easy as that. She was persistent, she always had been. "I'd told myself to stop, so I did. But... After I saw her, Kurt, I... I can't stop thinking about her."

Kurt licked his lips. "How so? Describe for me what you're thinking, please?"

Rachel didn't know what to say. She usually wasn't one who couldn't find words, she'd had plenty of them since she started talking, but how does one explain a feeling, a thought, a mere thudding inside of herself? If this was back in high school, she would have broken into a song for Glee that described her emotions, but this wasn't high school. She was a grown-up woman, a married one of the kind, and yet she was this messed up right now? Something was so wrong about that.

"Rachel?" Kurt continued in a firm voice and a tap of his foot.

The brunette diva nodded her head and decided to just speak to him. "I tried calling her, and when she didn't answer, I went to her apartment. And we talked."

"Really?"

"Yes! I'm such a horrible person! I should just leave this alone, but I keep wondering about her."

"Why is that making you a horrible person?" Kurt questioned.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Because of... because of Nick, I guess."

"Rachel," Kurt carried on, still in a very firm voice and with wide eyes and pink lips. "please be honest with me when I ask you this: Were _you_... in love with Quinn?"

Rachel had a feeling that when her eyes turned to meet his, that was answer enough.

"Oh dear Liza Minelli, it's true!" he waved his hands dramatically in front of his head for air as he breathed in and out. "Oh, I had that feeling, but I never knew, but now I do!" he reached for her hands and clung to them desperately. "Rachel Barbra Berry! Why have you never shared this with me? I am shocked, truly _shocked_!"

The diva ducked her neck and stared into her lap. "I was ashamed, Kurt. I was engaged to be married... And I still had all these feelings. For Quinn! My best friend! A _girl_!"

Kurt sounded confused when he replied, "Oh wait... Are you telling me that it was a problem not only because of Nick, but because Quinn's a girl?" he paused. "Were you afraid of being gay?"

Rachel raised her head and nodded. "Yes. I didn't want to be a cliché."

"Oh Rachel..." Kurt softly replied, before he reached over and wrapped his arms around the singer's in a tight hug. He pulled her close and stuck his nose into her hair, soothing her with a hand on her back, rubbing slow circles. She breathed in his comforting scent and swallowed loudly, trying to hold back tears. "You would never be a cliché. You're everything but. Gay or not."

"I was so afraid, Kurt." she whispered into his neck, blinking away the few tears that managed to escape her eyes. She hadn't wanted to disappoint her fathers, because she knew – that even though they were happy to be together and had accepted themselves, that they loved their family – growing old and having a life with the hardships that came from being gay, it was never something they'd wanted for their only child. And what was it that stupid people always said? Gay people raise gay children! She'd wanted to prove them wrong! ...even if they, somehow, weren't.

She was so darn stupid!

He pulled back then, brushing away the tears on her chin. His face was full of compassion when he said, "So you decided to marry Nick?"

Rachel shook her head. "It's not that I didn't love him. I did. I still do. So much." she cleared her throat and continued to explain herself. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm happy with him. I had two possible options when Quinn came out to me, and I took to easiest one. I don't think I'd do it differently, even if it meant hurting the girl I loved..." she trailed off for a second, as she got lost in the thought of Quinn's beautiful face. "I was just a girl back then, Kurt," she continued, locking her eyes with his, "I was no more than twenty, and I was silly. Still so selfish, still so young. I couldn't imagine facing the repercussions. I'm older now, things have changed. _I've_ changed!"

"And now that Quinn re-entered you life like this, you were reminded of everything?" Kurt guessed with a raised eyebrow.

"Sort of." Rachel whispered, "I felt guilty _and_ Santana slapped me."

Kurt let out a short laugh. "What! Santana _slapped_ you?"

"She did." Rachel replied and looked up at her friend with big eyes. "And I thought it was pretty much done after that, but then Brittany came to see me at work, and... and she seemed so sure that I should go talk to Quinn, so that's what I did."

He sounded even more confused by now. "So much information right now..." he whispered to himself and shook his head. "This is too much, Rachel. Really. I can't believe you're telling me all this now, it's just unbelievable."

"I know."

"You should have told me before."

"I know."

"You're possibly gay, Rachel!"

"I'm not.." she hissed at him, "_gay_!" she sat up straighter, "I fall in love with a person, not a gender. Quinn just made it so easy in college. Not that it really matters right now since I'm happily married and in love with my husband."

He hummed. "Yet you're allowing Quinn to mess with your head after one chance encounter?"

Rachel could feel her face fall. "Yeah..." she whispered. "Which is why I'm asking you for help. What am I going to do, Kurt?" she whispered. "I mean... It's not that I'm falling back in love with Quinn, and I don't ever want to leave Nick," she felt her throat tighten as the words came out, but pushed on, "but I feel as though I can't just leave Quinn be. I need to – I need to be her friend again, to spend time with her."

"Which is a problem, because she won't talk to you after the way you treated her?" Kurt guessed correctly, folding his face into thinking-mode and getting those adorable wrinkles on his forehead; those wrinkles that she wouldn't mention to him because he'd freak out and get worry-lines.

She nodded her head, determinedly.

Kurt seemed to think it over for a brief second, but only shortly, before he got a mischievous grin on his face. "You said that Brittany came to talk to you, right?"

"...yes?"

"The way to Santana's good graces is through Brittany..." he continued, probably more to himself than to her, "And if you're friends with Santana and Brittany, Quinn comes with." he turned to look at her with a shy grin. "I think I just got an idea, Sweetie..."

**-Faberry-**

"Holy crap, this is making me sweat." Santana moaned as she reached a hand up to wipe the glistening sweat off her forehead. She looked at her hand with a gross expression and then continued to brush the sweat off in her shorts instead.

Quinn chuckled lowly and reached for her towel. She held it out for Santana, wanting her to take it. "Next time, bring one of these, for now we can share, I'm not fastidious."

The Latina grumbled and angrily tore the towel out of the blonde's hands. She was still moving her legs, going full speed on the elliptical, but she was very out of breath. "Next time!" she hissed, "No, no way, Quinnie! There'll be no next time. I'm not signing up for this gym-fitness-thingy..." she shook her head and folded the towel out, before burrowing her head in it and drying her face off. "I agreed to go with you today, to try it out..." she continued when she came back out, for air, "but there's no way I'm paying monthly to go and torture myself with this crap."

The blonde rolled her eyes with a laugh and took the towel back from her friend. "It's addicting, S, you'll start to like it. Remember how in shape you used to be, don't you miss it?"

"I sure as hell miss being hotter than I am now." she replied, as she poked rapidly at the screen on the machine, "I mean, I'm still a motherfucking MILF with an ass that won't quit, but I've got a few extra layers of fat on my thighs. It's not fun!" she licked her lips, "I mean, Britt's the one who had to get rid of all that baby-fat, but she's out there, dancing her ass off, and what am I doing? I sit in that damn office everyday, not much exercise in that!"

Quinn took a gulp of her water bottle and said, "Which is why you should start doing this with me a few times a week. I know Brittany won't mind."

Santana made a face. "Brittany will love it. I'm just not sure.." she breathed, "I will... I'm seriously in pain right now, Q."

"Work through it!" Quinn urged her on.

"I should work through it," Santana continued to talk, even though she was out of breath and should probably be quiet, "I mean... Brittany is out there now, dancing. She's at an interview, she said it looked promising, if she gets it, she'll be dancing everyday. And what will I do? I'll get_ fat_!"

Quinn wiped her own sweat off with her towel and picked up speed, "And you know she'll get it, S, if she doesn't, they're mad for not hiring her..." she trailed off, pausing, "she's like the best dancer out there!"

Santana nodded her head, "And I have to admit, that if I get out of that damn shower and into the baby-sitting-area and find out that they've taken wonderful care of my babies in there, I might be even more enticed into doing this with you." she breathed heavily and came to a halt, stopping the machine and leaning over the handlebars to catch her breath, "Those pimple-infected teenagers they have in there have to be good to take care of two baby Lopezes, but if they did it... Man. I might just sneak one of them home with me and order her to watch the twins all the damn time."

Quinn laughed and stopped her own machine, too. "Your kids are not that horrible!" she laughed and got off the machine. She could tell that Santana was completely beat for now. Usually, when she was at the gym, she'd do an hour of cardio training before she started lifting weights and building up muscles. However, it was pretty clear that Santana wasn't up for anything else right now. It was alright though, they'd get to that in a few weeks, the most important thing was that she'd finally convinced the Latina to start working out with her – she hated going there alone on late nights where the gym was almost empty.

"No, my kids are fucking great." Santana replied and practically fell off the machine. "Damn, my legs feel like Jell-O."

The blonde woman shook her head at her best friend and grabbed some wipes to clean off the machines. Her own was covered in sweat; she was actually one of the few girls at the gym who actually perspired when she worked out. Santana hadn't been sweating quite as much, even though it was evident that she'd given it all she got, and wasn't quite as unfit as she'd thought. Quinn had once read somewhere that the fitter you are, the more you sweat. She handed her friend a few wipes and they both cleaned their machines off, before they grabbed their things and turned towards the changing room.

Santana moaned with every step she took. "Please tell me we're done for today, Quinnie."

"We are!" Quinn laughed; she felt happier than she'd been in a few days, more alive. She was always so full of energy whenever she'd worked out, and having Santana there was just great for entertainment. The Latina's comments never ceased to amuse Quinn. They could be quite evil and mean, but it was great, and whenever there was some girl who was easy on the eyes, the lawyer would practically start drooling, which amazed Quinn to no end. Santana was faithful to Brittany like she'd been to no other person in her life; she loved Brittany more than she loved herself, but it still didn't stop her from appreciating other good species of the female kind, like she always said.

Quinn didn't exactly get that, because she'd never appreciated anyone but her partner when she had one. That was just her philosophy, as old-fashioned as she was.

Anyway. Having Santana there had been a pre-emptive strike today. After Rachel had suddenly – completely randomly – showed up at her apartment, Quinn had been so in thought about her old friend that she practically hadn't been able to work or function. In the end, the only solution she'd seen was to completely wear herself out, but then she'd realised that while doing that, she'd have plenty of time to think, so that was why she had tricked Santana into joining her by mentioning how unfit she'd seemed to get lately.

"I'm gonna shower! I'm gonna shower!" Santana sang as she stripped her clothes off, with a complete lack of the shyness that most people seemed to possess whenever they showered at the gym. Santana just lacked that entirely; she had no shame whatsoever.

Quinn was a bit more modest as she slipped into the shower next to her friend. "Why don't we grab some sandwiches afterwards from _Annette's_?" she asked her friend as she turned on the hot water and savoured the feeling of it drumming down her back, "Brittany will be home soon, right? It could be dinner." she continued to explain. She didn't want to invite herself over, but she knew her friends would insist anyway, and if Brittany had gotten that job, she'd want Quinn to know immediately, too.

"Oh yeah!" Santana agreed with enthusiasm. She was (very sneakily) checking out the other women in the shower, and Quinn turned her head to the side, pretending that she didn't see what she was doing. "By the way, Blondie, your ass is really great lately. Better than in high school. Must be all that work-out."

She could feel herself blushing a deep red as she glared at Santana. "You're married, S." she reminded her friend in a whisper, before she slipped right back out of the shower and walked on the slippery floor to the bench where her clothes was at. She continued to dry herself off, before she started dressing herself.

Santana came out of the shower too, wrapped in her towel. "Who pissed you off, Ms. Lucy Quinn Fabray?" she asked as she reached for her hairbrush.

"Rachel came by my apartment the other day." Quinn whispered then, as she sat down and started brushing her hair, too.

The Latina came to a halt then, pausing her actions as she turned to look down at her friend. "Excuse me?" she questioned, her face turned hard and her eyes started burning, "It sounded to me as if you just said that Rachel fucking came by your apartment the other day!"

Quinn looked up at her then, and gave a short nod. "She did."

"Fucking fuck!" Santana spat out then, much louder than she probably should have, because a few people turned to look at her in surprise. She sat down next to Quinn on the bench and lowered her voice. "What the friggin' frack, Quinn! She_ came_ by your apartment?"

She looked at her friend in defeat and shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah, she... she wanted to – to talk?"

Santana growled. "That's not fucking okay!" she hissed, angrily kicking her foot at the wooden bench. "That bitch! She should just leave you the fuck alone!"

Quinn nodded her head and continued to slip on her clothes. "I don't know, S, I guess... I miss her in a way and now that she's there, I keep thinking about her. But it's also upsetting me."

"You told her to fuck off, didn't you?" Santana seriously said, and it was clear that no one was to mess with her right now. And if Quinn even dared to say that she'd not told Rachel to get lost, she'd also feel Santana's wrath.

Thankfully though, she had. Just not in... those exact words. "I did. Don't worry."

Santana huffed. "_Good_."

And then they dressed themselves in silence. They both got ready and gathered their things, and when they were done, they went to the babysitting area to pick up Rico and Rebecca. They were both well; they were told that Rico had slept through the entire thing and that Rebecca had been quietly watching some of the older kids play around. Santana was seriously impressed with this, and Quinn could tell that it sort of got her into thinking about joining the gym a little bit more. If Brittany could be at work, and she could work out meanwhile, and also get the kids watched for free during, it was a seriously good deal.

She was happier when they strolled down the street to _Annette's_ to pick up something for dinner. It was their favourite sandwich-place. It wasn't too expensive, and it was very healthy, with lot of different options for different taste-buds. The kids waited outside in the stroller while they got their food and Santana sent a quick text off to Brittany, saying that they had dinner for when she got home.

"She'll be here in about twenty minutes." Santana told Quinn, when they entered the apartment sometime later.

Quinn nodded her head in reply and bent down to retrieve Rebecca out of the stroller. She picked the little child up and lifted her into the air while making a funny face. Then she knelt down on the floor and got the girl out of her jacket and shoes, before turning towards the couch to sit with her niece for a little while. She simply smiled down at the Latina child, minding her own business, while she could hear, in the back of her head, that Santana was getting plates out and getting dinner ready, while baby-talking Rico, who was gurgling in reply.

She'd just turned on Disney Channel (their favourite dinner-time-channel) and handed out the plates, when Brittany returned home. The door was smacked open, and the two women in the couch turned to look at the tall blonde woman as she kicked off her sneakers.

"Sannie, I'm home." Brittany whistled as she skipped across the floor and bent down to kiss Santana on the lips. She also kissed her children all over, before she took a seat by the end of the table, in her favourite place – the beanbag chair. She reached for her sandwich; one with hummus and olives, which was the one she always got from _Annette's_, before she breathed out a contend sigh.

Quinn was watching her with curious eyes, desperately waiting for her to tell them about her job interview; tell them how it had gone, if they'd liked her not, just something to ease their minds. The blonde therapist had this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach though, that it had really gone well. There was this aura around her dancing friend, something that told her that it'd been no ordinary job interview and it wasn't another let-down.

Brittany, however, was just chewing away on her sandwich hungrily, watching TV and seeming entirely relaxed. She grabbed her glass of water a took a long sip, before digging right back into her food. Quinn turned to look at Santana then, with a raised eyebrow and questionable eyes. The Latina seemed curious also, of course even more than Quinn. She was just watching her wife with wide eyes, not touching her sandwich, and not looking down at her son, who was sitting on her lap.

Santana bit her lip, and when Brittany took another gulp of water, she couldn't hold it anymore. "Alright, you gotta tell us, Britt-Britt!" she hissed.

The blonde dancer turned to look at them with wide blue eyes. "Gotta tell you what?" she innocently asked, and Quinn wasn't sure if she'd truly forgotten that she ought to tell them, or if she was just playing her wife because the news were good.

"About the interview!" Santana continued, eagerly.

Brittany broke into a giant grin then, it simply covered her entire face. "I got a job, San!" she happily said.

Quinn could feel herself break into a smile of happiness, even more so when Santana jumped out of the couch, Rico on one arm, and continued to congratulate Brittany with a kiss. Quinn could barely hold back her own laughter because this was just such great news! And the couple really deserved this! Brittany deserved to get back out there, to share her talents with the world, to show them what she'd got. She was finally done watching over the twins all day long, she was finally free to start working again, and what better way than for her to get right back into the game? This was wonderful!

"Congratulations Baby!" Santana cheered and pecked Brittany repeatedly on the lips. "I'm so proud of you! Tell us everything!" she said, barely containing her grin, "Seriously Britts, we wanna know it all!"

Brittany clapped her hands together and did a little dance on the spot. "It's a Broadway show and I'm the dancing instructor!" she eagerly said, nodding her head up and down in happiness. "The original choreographer had an accident so they were looking for a new one!"

Quinn was impressed. "And they held open auditions for that?" she questioned, unbelievably. It wasn't that she didn't believe that Brittany could get the job; she was extremely talented, of course she could. It was just that it sounded odd in her ears that they'd hold open auditions (which were the kind of auditions that Brittany had gone to the past few months) for something like that.

The blonde dancer shook her head. "Of course not, silly Quinn!" she giggled, tugging her hands behind her back and folding them there. "I got an interview because someone recommended my dancing."

"Oh really?" Santana questioned, happiness evident on her face and in her voice. "Who?"

Quinn had a_ feeling_ who.

"Rachel!" Brittany excitedly said and started clapping her hands together again, delightedly.

Aaaaand. Quinn was right.

_Rachel_.

* * *

><p><em>I am so, so sorry about the long delay between this chapter and the previous. I really am. I have no good excuses other than I completely suck. I promise, I will try to do better from now on. <em>

_I want to thank you so much for the reviews and the support you guys give me – you're really great, and I love to hear your opinions and ideas and thoughts. Also about the end of the winter finale? I always want to hear about that, if anyone wants to share their musings! I am – for one – not so happy, even though I thought I saw a lot of one-sided, hinted Faberry! _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

"That – that – that – _that_!" Santana growled in a whisper, searching for words as she paced in a circle in front of the TV, "...that! Urgh! Bitch! _Skank_! What a motherfucking fuck!" she stomped her foot into the floor and turned to Quinn with fisted hands, "Who the crap does she think she is!"

Quinn looked up at Santana with a perplexed expression, entirely lost. She wasn't sure what to feel or what to say. On one hand she felt completely violated that Rachel would – apparently – force herself into her life like this. But on the other hand... She couldn't help but feel happy, impressed, warm on the inside, that Rachel had cared enough about Brittany to go out of her way to get her a job.

They hadn't spoken for_ so_ long. They'd just bumped into each other, and Rachel had apparently not been able to move on from that; she'd stopped by Quinn's apartment (that had been ridiculous), but now she had done this. It was sweet, in a way, even though it was also very presumptuous. What did she think was going to happen when she did something like that? Of course it was thoughtful of her to think of Brittany when the opportunity presented itself, but it was crossing a line, a line she shouldn't have crossed, because Quinn had asked her to stay away. Yet she'd done it _anyway_.

Quinn was angry, but – she was also happy. Brittany had gotten a job – a very well-paid one at that – and Rachel had, somehow, proved how much she really wanted to talk to Quinn. And the blonde was flattered, because that was a kind move.

Santana however, seemed to be of another impression. She was furious! She felt violated in an extreme way. Like Rachel had just butted into their lives and messed with things she shouldn't have. Which was true, of course, but didn't the kindness of the situation outweigh that? Quinn thought so.

"I am_ torn_!" Santana said then, leaning over to talk lowly to Quinn, so only she could hear it, and Brittany – who was in the other room, putting the kids into their cribs – wouldn't hear it. "I am so fucking happy that Brittany finally got a job! Such a big one at that, it will open so many doors for her, but..." the Latina paused, and shook her head, "I feel like Brittany shouldn't take that job. It'll make Berry feel like she can pull anything and now we're BFFs!"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "But we're not."

"Exactly!" Santana spat and held a finger out to prove her point. She looked kind of insane at the moment, but Quinn opted to keep that observation to herself. "We can't just let Berry do things like this, Quinn! Apparently she still think she's Queen of the World, just like she did in high school. I mean – you did clearly tell her to stay away, did you not?"

"...yeah?"

"And what's she doing now?" Santana continued in a whisper-yell (and also, at this point, her voice was steadily reaching shrill), "Not staying the fuck away!"

Quinn bit her lip and leaned back in the couch to think for a second. She had no idea what to do. She probably should feel offended, shouldn't she? She should probably call Rachel and yell at her for doing the exact opposite of what she was told. But Quinn didn't have the desire to do so. All she wanted was to call Rachel up on the phone and thank her. Thank her from the bottom of her heart for keeping Brittany in mind when the show had been in need of a new choreographer. This was a great opportunity, something that didn't come along very often. The blonde psychologist felt like they should be thankful for that, not hate her for it.

The Latina was still heaving in and out as she fell down next to Quinn on the couch. Her arms were crossed, her face was red. She was positively _pissed_. She was fuming, like an angry bull, waiting to strike.

From the other room, Quinn could hear Brittany softly singing for the kids, offering them a lullaby. The dancer was so happy, that was clear to everybody. Brittany was usually a chipper person, but this? This had reached new heights, and Quinn just didn't want to ruin that. She also knew that Santana didn't, but the Latina seemed to be blinded by her hatred for one Rachel Berry instead of her happiness for Brittany right now. Quinn didn't want to mess with Brittany's happiness. She deserved this shot, she really did. Brittany was the kindest, most gentle person. She'd never hurt anybody. And she could do that show some good; she'd blow them all away and her future would lay itself out before her feet.

Quinn couldn't find it in herself to ruin this, she simply couldn't. All she had to do was convince Santana of the same, which would be more tricky. "I think..." she softly murmured, turning her head to look at her best friend, "I'm going to call Rachel and thank her for this."

"What!" Santana hissed, snapping her head to the side to glare at her. "You're seriously not going to _applaud_ her for stepping into our lives like this, are you!"

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. She should probably do something a bit more convincing if she wanted Santana to humour her, but it was easier said than done. "Didn't you see Brittany's face, S? I know you did, she's your wife." Quinn softly begun in a whisper, "She deserves this. And truth is, she wouldn't have gotten such a wonderful opportunity without Rachel. I'm not questioning Brittany's talent, because you and I both know she's extra-ordinary. But it's just not that easy without the right connections."

Santana licked her lips. It was easy to see she was calming down, though unwillingly.

"Plus," Quinn added, and she could feel her cheeks flushing a bit at this point. "I've really missed Rachel. _Really_. Even though she broke me into tiny little pieces, I still sometimes can't help but believe that... that she was the love of my life. That she was the Brittany to my Santana." she glanced at her best friend, and Santana's look softened a little bit. "You and Brittany weren't always that kind to each other either. Maybe that's just the way love goes. True love, after all, shouldn't be easy. Right?"

The Latina sighed heavily and loosened up a little bit. She turned over on the couch, pulling one leg beneath herself and facing Quinn completely. "I'm not a fan of what Rachel has done today." she honestly said, "But. I'm happy for Brittany. _Extremely_. I'm _definitely_ no fan of what Rachel did to you ten years ago. But... If you really feel that strongly about giving her a second chance, romantically or just friendly, I can't stop you. Especially not..." she trailed off, looking into her lap for a second.

"Especially not...?" Quinn urged her on, with her heart thudding inside her chest. She hated to admit this, but getting Santana's approval meant a great deal to her.

"Especially _not_ if you compare her to my Brittany. Because that's the most powerful thing I've ever experienced."

Quinn couldn't help but smile at her, just softly. "So you're not going to hate me for calling her?"

Santana shook her head. "No. Actually... When we see her again, I'm going to thank her for thinking of Brittany." she paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "But I'm not apologising for that slap! She _deserved the slap_!"

The blonde woman laughed, "That's okay!" she chuckled, before she leaned over and wrapped her arms around the Latina lawyer in a firm hug.

"Aw!"

They both parted to the sound of Brittany's voice; there she stood, hands in her sides and with a loving expression on her face. She looked so happy, so extremely thrilled, and Quinn felt that she was doing the right thing right now, accepting all of this.

"I want in!" Brittany then added, before she skipped over the coffee table and squeezed herself in between the other two woman. She wrapped her arms around their backs and pulled them closer. And before Quinn knew what was happening, she found herself in a wonderful sandwich with her two best friends.

She'd never felt more loved in her entire life.

**-Faberry-**

Rachel was tripping nervously, she could barely sit still. She kept rearranging her things around her. At first her purse was between her legs on the floor, then on the chair next to her, then on the table, and then in her lap, before it was on the floor again.

She checked her watch. It couldn't be very long now, it simply couldn't.

She also kept an eye on her bags. She'd done a little shopping before coming to this café an hour early. She'd needed some new work-out clothes. She kept wearing her old stuff out, because of all that dancing and running. It could only take so much sweat before it was simply gross. She also had her coffee in front of her. It was decaf, because if she had any more caffeine, she was going to burst right out of her body.

Oh, ten minutes to go. It wouldn't be very long now, Quinn was always on time. Or at least she used to.

Rachel could barely believe that Quinn had actually called her and asked her to meet her here. That was just unbelievable, really. How lucky does one person get to be? She probably didn't deserve this, but here she was, getting it anyway. She was really very fortunate. It was probably Brittany who'd persuaded Quinn into doing this. That didn't matter, though, the important thing was that she was meeting Quinn here. Now.

There was something blonde entering the shop! It was Quinn!

"Quinn!" Rachel slipped out loudly, before she had the time to stop herself. "Quinn, over here!" she added, a bit more modestly, as she waved the other woman over.

Quinn looked beautiful today, Rachel noticed. She'd always loved the short hair, how it sort of fell around her shoulders, when it was loose. And she looked good in her work attire; black pants and a white shirt with a vest over. Very good indeed. Not that Rachel was checking her out or anything, she simply couldn't help but notice, Quinn just looked that good.

"Hi." Quinn softly said as she pulled the chair out and took a seat across from the diva. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she was a bit out of breath. It was probably the wind outside that had caused it, because Quinn was in shape. Or at least she used to be. A simply walk wouldn't exhaust her.

Rachel brushed a piece of her runaway hair out of her face, tugging it behind her ear as she glanced at the blonde woman. Suddenly, she felt shy too. "Hi." she mumbled, before lowing her gaze to her coffee. She looked up again, wanting to explain herself. "I'm sorry I already ordered. I didn't know what you wanted, or I would have gotten one for you. You used to like those caffé macchiatos, but I didn't know if you still-"

"I do." Quinn cut her off, a soft smile playing around her lips. She reached into her purse then, gathering her wallet. "I'm just going to get one. I'll be right back." she explained, before she pushed her chair back and turned to the counter.

The diva couldn't help but watch her, as she stood there, waiting in the short line. She was such a beautiful creature. There was no one quite as soft and delicate as Quinn Fabray. She had the fairest skin, the blondest hair, a strong and lean body, yet so soft and begging to be touched. Rachel remember the urges she used to feel – how she'd wanted to, at almost all times, reach out and touch Quinn's collarbone, or her strong back. It had been so hard to fight those urges, because to Rachel it seemed like all she needed was to touch the other girl.

It was frightening how those feelings came back full force right now. All she wanted was to touch.

_You have to control yourself. _Rachel told her dirty mind. _You're a married woman, and Quinn's probably not a free agent. You don't even know her anymore, this is just a casual coffee date, uh, coffee meeting. Plus, you really are a married woman. Nick's your husband. You remember Nick, right? Tall, sweet and handsome? He gave you that giant engagement ring and in his vows he said- uh wowsie. Quinn's ass really looks fantastic in those pants! Oh no! Bad, Rachel, bad!_

"That was quick." she blurted out, when Quinn returned to the small round table with a cup in one hand. She could feel that her face was warm and probably beet-red.

Quinn sat down and shrugged her shoulders. "Well yeah. This is probably not the busiest hour of the day." she softly replied, in that angelic voice of hers.

Rachel nodded her head. "I want to thank you for meeting me here." she honestly said. She had a bit of a tough time concentrating completely because Quinn was so beautiful, but she had to pull through and act sort of normal. There was a point to this meeting and it was not for her to ogle Quinn. It was to talk. Simply just have an ordinary conversation.

The blonde woman nodded her head and softly sipped her coffee. "I wanted to thank you for getting Brittany that job. We all know that there's no way she would have been able to get such an audition without your interference. Santana is happy too, even if she doesn't show it."

The brunette singer nodded her head. "Well yeah. We were facing quite a problem with the show and I didn't want to give up on my dream role..." she trailed off, realising that she was sounding quite selfish. And even though it was for selfish reasons that she'd wanted to find someone, it wasn't for selfish reasons that she'd chosen Brittany. Or well. Perhaps it was a little bit. She had hoped that it'd give her an in with Quinn. But she wasn't going to admit that. "So after I'd accidentally run into you guys, I realised that perhaps Brittany was in need of a new job opportunity. I just mentioned her name casually to the director, and he looked her up, saw some of the work she'd done... Her talent really spoke for herself once I'd mentioned her name."

"She is good." Quinn replied.

Rachel smiled softly and slurped down the rest of her coffee, before it got too cold. She licked her lips. "There's so many things I want to say to you." she mumbled then, folding her hands in her lap and looking up at the other woman. She could feel her heart beat steadily against her ribcage. She was nervous, and if she wasn't too careful, she was going to sweat it all out.

Quinn sat back up straighter, leaning her back firmly against the chair, making more room between them, distancing herself. She frowned a little bit, and suddenly there was another sort of tension between them. "Yeah?" she questioned shortly, "What sort of things?"

"Just things from back in college." Rachel whispered, looking up at her with big eyes. She could feel her cold stare, and it wasn't nice, but she knew she deserved it. "For how I treated you. That was wrong of me. I've really missed you... Quinn."

"But not enough to find me, huh." the blonde woman stated with a raised eyebrow and a provocative tone.

Rachel didn't say anything. She knew she deserved this, she really did. She couldn't call Quinn out on her attitude. "I guess I was scared."

She nodded. "Yeah. I was scared too. When I told you about my feelings." she paused, only for a second though, "But I was shot down, and I had to live with that."

"I was I could turn back time." Rachel added.

"Yeah, that's not good enough." Quinn said then, a stiff smile on her face. "I want you to know I am thankful for what you've done for Brittany now. And I know we'll probably see each other due to the fact that you two will now be co-workers. But I'll let you know, I'm not happy. You broke my heart, Rachel, and I can't just forget that."

"I know." she quickly mumbled, "I'm sorry."

Quinn sighed heavily and her look softened a little bit, her entire posture relaxed as she sunk her shoulders, "I know you are. Because you're Rachel Berry, and I know you."

Rachel couldn't hide her smile now. "I wish I could turn back time." she repeated.

The blonde psychologist chuckled. "Let's not dwell too long in the past now, alright? There's so much of the future left. And I do hope that you and I can perhaps be friends again, like we used to. At least I'll... I'll like to try. But it's not going to be easy."

"I know." Rachel said, forcing herself to stay calm, even though she was bubbling with happiness on the inside, at the prospect of being Quinn's friend again.

"And I want to know why you did it." Quinn added, nodding her head. "I want to know why you shot me down that way. You – of all people – should have been understanding. With your parents. I mean, who else would be?" she licked her lips. "I want you to think about that. Decide if you can and will tell me. Because if not... then you can forget about this." she motioned between the two of them with her finger.

Rachel could still feel her heart thudding inside her chest. This was what she'd feared, that Quinn would want to know all these things. Not that she didn't deserve to know, because she really did. It just wasn't easy to explain. What was she going to say? She couldn't very well say the truth, that would be even more horrible than lying to her, than just making something up. If she told Quinn the truth, that the reason she'd really been so scared was because she felt the same way about her, then Quinn would think she was mad for reacting the way she did. Rachel knew that Quinn wouldn't be able to understand, that Quinn wouldn't see her reasons for staying with Nick when her feelings told her otherwise.

"It's..." Rachel paused, looking up at her old friend, scared, because she didn't know what she was going to say; the words sort of got stuck in her throat. "It's difficult... to explain." she whispered. Her fingers were fidgeting beneath the table, but she told herself to stop it.

Quinn hummed. "Alright." she said, giving a short nod and sitting up straighter. "You don't have to tell me right now. I guess you have your reasons. I was just... wondering." she paused. "Who says we can't start hanging out once in a while anyway."

The brunette diva couldn't help but smile brightly at the other woman at those words. "Really?"

"Why not?" Quinn questioned, before taking another sip of her drink. She offered Rachel a soft smile. "So how's everything with you? I'm not going to hide that I've been following your career a bit. That seems to be going well."

"Yes!" Rachel eagerly said, happy that they were changing the subject, that Quinn was now talking about something else. "It was great with _Mamma Mia!_ and now with _West Side Story_, I really feel like I'm getting where I always dreamed I'd be."

Quinn licked her lips. "Your dream-role, right?"

"Exactly!"

"What about... Nick?" Quinn wanted to know then. Her voice was soft, but curious.

Rachel could feel this awkward tension rise between them, but she guessed that that was inevitable. They couldn't rekindle their friendship without mentioning Nick, that just wasn't possible. So they'd just have to work through it and be okay. Of course everything wouldn't just magically turn back to the way things were from they were younger, but perhaps they could work their way there. She'd missed Quinn these many years, and just having her back – in front of her right now – it was the most amazing feeling, and it really made her so happy.

"Nick's... good." Rachel replied, softly, "He's doing well with his writing. He does a bit freelance. And he's just the supportive guy he's always been. It's... nice." she finished, with a tiny smile, not wanting to meet Quinn's eyes.

The blonde woman chuckled shortly. "He's always worshipped the ground you walk on."

Rachel couldn't disagree with that. "Yes. I guess he has."

Quinn nodded.

"So how's your life? Work good? How's Judy? You have a... a girlfriend?" Rachel quickly rattled off, ripping the last one off as a bandage. She didn't know why, but the thought of Quinn dating someone was deeply disturbing to her, and it simply made her heart ache. It shouldn't do that, right? As she'd clearly stated to herself earlier, she was a married woman, and therefore not allowed to admire Quinn's behind... or any other part of her body for that matter. It was just so hard though, when the blonde's butt looked so fantastic in those pants, and when her breasts were perfectly cupped in that blouse. It was practically inhuman of anyone to expect her to look away. But even if she managed to do that, how was it that the thought of Quinn with someone else was still so heartbreaking?

The blonde woman was quiet for a second, pausing, but eventually she spoke up, "I'm good, really. I uh – I have a practice with a wonderful girl named Alice that I met my last year of college. She's brilliant, and we do very well for ourselves." she breathed in deeply, "My mom's good. She's still back in Lima, my sister's living there now with her husband and her kids. She misses me though... And as for the girlfriend-"

Rachel felt her heart creep all the way into her throat as she held her breath and it started thudding louder; in fact so loud that Quinn had to be able to hear it.

"-I have one." Quinn finished, her eyes flickering a little bit, as she didn't meet Rachel's eyes. "Her name is Jessica. She's great."

"Oh." Rachel blurted out, lowering her gaze to look at her hands for a second. She shouldn't feel as disappointed as she did right now, because it was none of her business, and Quinn was allowed to date whoever it was that she wanted. That Jessica person was probably a wonderful girlfriend to Quinn, and didn't she deserve that? She most certainly did! All that mattered was that Quinn was happy. Rachel just had to get over it and believe that. "That sounds great." she whispered. "I'm glad to hear that you have the same happiness that I do with Nick."

Quinn swallowed. "Yeah. She's uh – she's great. You should meet her one day."

Rachel nodded. "I'd love that." she said. _No I most certainly will not. _She smiled brilliantly at the blonde woman.

"We should all have dinner together. Soon." Quinn said.

And Rachel found herself agreeing before she even managed to think it through.

**-Faberry-**

_Oh fuck, this is just way too soon!_ Quinn moaned to herself as she dragged her feet up the stairs to Jessica's apartment on the fifth floor. It was already in two days! How had she agreed to this? How stupid did one person get to be? Shouldn't there be a law against stupidity or something? Quinn thought so.

She'd somehow managed to make plans with the entire gang in two days. And by the entire gang – of course she meant Santana and Brittany (surely they'd managed to squeeze themselves in there, like hell they wanted to miss that, as Santana had said), and then Rachel and Nick of course, because Rachel was the reason they were having this dinner. When Kurt and Blaine had heard that Santana and Brittany were tagging along, they'd announced their presence, too. And what had Quinn gotten herself into? She'd – of course! - told Rachel that she had a girlfriend and that that girlfriend was Jessica, even though Jessica was not her girlfriend and that they were just casually sleeping together. At Quinn's request even.

Not that Jessica had minded or anything, she'd been up for that. They'd discussed, in the beginning of their relationship, if they were ever going to be anything more, but Quinn had said that that wasn't going to happen. Jessica had been cool about it, even though she'd sometimes joke about them actually dating. But Quinn knew that that wouldn't work for them, they were too different, they both had other things to do, busy lives, and their chemistry was purely for sexual purposes.

But now she was going to have to swallow her pride, march right into Jessica's tiny one-bedroom apartment and ask her if she could be persuaded (with great sex) to pretend to be her girlfriend for one evening and probably more following. It was going to be horrible, Jessica would mock her for getting herself into the situation. And even though they were great friends and always had fun together, Quinn wasn't certain if she was going to decline or say yes.

There was nothing to do but try though.

Worst case scenario she'd have to hire someone to act as Jessica who was acting as her girlfriend, just so Rachel didn't know she'd lied.

And yes, that sounded very stupid in her own ears, also (again with that law – Quinn really should write to someone about that).

She knocked on the old door with her fisted hand, and waited with her forehead against the door as she held her breath. She could hear shuffling on the other side of it, Jessica knew she was going to come, because they always texted each other, they never just showed up. She pulled her head back when she heard the chain move, and when Jessica pulled the door open, Quinn was standing there with a warm smile.

"Hi!" Jessica smiled and tucked a piece of her henna dyed hair behind her ear. Usually it was up in a bun on top of her head, but it looked like she'd just been showering, because it was still a little wet.

Quinn stepped a bit closer, looking up at her lover with bright eyes. "Hi." she hoarsely whispered, before placing her hands on Jessica's chest and pushing her into the apartment. She kicked the door close behind her, before she tiptoed up and kissed the taller woman on the lips.

Jessica responded briefly, before she pulled back and placed a gentle hand on Quinn's cheek. She caressed it for a second, before dropping her hand. "What's up, gorgeous?" she questioned, before she fell onto a mess of blankets on the floor. There was a bowl of something that smelled Asian in front of her, and she immediately dug right back into it. "You wanna lock the door?" she queered with her mouth full.

The blonde woman turned the lock before she sat down in front of Jessica, on a pillow. She couldn't help but admire the other woman; she was younger than Quinn, and that was pretty evident. She was still studying, while working as a waitress and a bartender and doing whatever she could to earn some extra money. She was gorgeous – not exactly the type Quinn would have ever thought she'd fall for (which, of course, she hadn't. She wasn't in love with Jessica, she just cared a lot about her). Her body was absolutely banging, with curves in all the right places. Her right arm was covered in tattoos, and she had more art all over her body. Her nose was pierced and she had a fondness for military pants and a tight tank tops.

Whenever they went anywhere together, dinner or a movie, they were the odd couple. But then again – they weren't a couple.

"So what's up, sexy?" Jessica asked and tucked her foot out to poke Quinn with her bare big toe.

Quinn readjusted herself on the floor, sitting Indian style, and smiled softly at Jessica. "Well..." she trailed off, "I'm sort of in a bit of a pickle."

Jessica practically spat out her water as she started laughing. "A pickle? Really?" she teased her.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha. What a big comedian you are." she sarcastically said. "Actually I'm really very serious!" she continued, and she could see that it caught Jessica's attention, because despite her careless nature, she was still very serious when it was needed. "I'm going to need something from you."

This seemed to catch the red-head's attention even more. "What? You're going to need something from me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and placing the bowl of food on the floor in front of her. Her eyes were serious. "Really? More than just sex?"

Quinn wrinkled her nose. When she said it like that, it sounded so horrible. "Yes. Something more than just sex. I'm going to need you to..." she trailed of, embarrassed to say what she was about to say. It was not in her nature to ask something like that, and it was embarrassing to even be in a situation where it was needed.

"Need me to what?" Jessica pushed her on.

"...to pretend to be my girlfriend." Quinn finished in a very low whisper.

Jessica looked confused. "Excuse me?" she questioned in disbelief. "It sounded like... you just said that you wanted me to _pretend _to be your girlfriend?"

Quinn looked up, shameful. This was really the most awful thing she'd ever had to ask anybody, and she wished she didn't have to. Jessica was great, but no matter what, she was going to use this against her someday – and make fun of her. Quinn was sure of it. But she also couldn't blame the other woman – this really was a situation where she deserved to be made fun of. She nodded. "Yeah. I did say that..." she paused and gritted her teeth. "So will you?"

The other woman twirled a piece of her hair around her pointer-finger as she watched Quinn with curious eyes. "Sure." she said, quickly, and Quinn was immediately relieved. "If you tell me what's happening? I'm sure I'll have to know anyway, to do the job, so... _Spill_."

She knew that this was going to be the hard part of this conversation, because she hated being weak and vulnerable, and if there was a situation where she felt like that, it was whenever Rachel and her feelings were brought up. "I ran into an old friend of mine," Quinn begun, fidgeting with her fingers whilst fighting with a lump in her throat and not really daring to look into Jessica's eyes. "from high school and uh... college." she swallowed that lump in her throat, "We were – we were just friends, but uh... but I was in love with her."

"Oh." Jessica breathed out.

"Yeah." Quinn continued, "I was really in love with her, and when I finally gathered the guts to tell her... She broke my heart. Just like that." the blonde paused again, and even though it was so many years ago, it still hurt her to think back at that day in the car, just outside of Lima, where Rachel had torn her apart in that ruthless way. It still ached deeply inside her chest to think of how the other girl had made her feel; Rachel, who'd been the person Quinn least had expected to do something like that, she'd really broken her. Ruined her and not cared about her feelings at all.

Jessica arched an eyebrow. "Seriously? She shot _you_ down?" she asked, and at Quinn's nod, she added, "That bitch."

Quinn continued, "I hadn't really expected her to just fall into my arms and have everything be wonderful, but... I'd expected her to handle things differently. She has to dads, she was supposed to be accepting!" Quinn sighed, "But she didn't care."

"Stupid crap."

The blonde couldn't help but laugh a little. "But anyway. She was supposed to marry this guy, they're still together, and... We bumped into each other accidentally, and now we're supposed to be catching up, and-"

"and because you didn't want to seem like a pathetic fuck," Jessica interrupted her, having already guessed where this was going, "you told her that you had a girlfriend, and since I am not your girlfriend, but your fuck-buddy, my name was the first to pop into your mind." she finished with a cheeky smile and a short laugh. "Oh I'll help you, Quinn, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Quinn couldn't help the appreciative smile that appeared on her lips at that, "You really will?"

Jessica nodded, her green eyes fiery, "Oh yeah! I'll help you for sure. I'll make sure that she thinks you're in a loving relationship with a girl who knows how to satisfy your needs." she paused. "Which is true, except the relationship-part of it, of course."

"Of course." Quinn confirmed.

Jessica picked up her bowl of food again. "So you still like her now that she's back or what?"

The blonde psychologist shrugged. She hadn't really thought too much about that. She had to admit that Rachel – after the shock of seeing her again had worn off – was still as stunning as she always had been. Just as beautiful with the way her hair fell around her face, and how her eyes seemed to be the doors to her soul. She'd always loved her smile and all the small quirks she had. But did she still like her? Quinn wasn't sure. She spent an awful lot of time thinking about her now, but then again, she'd sort of been doing that all along. Was this the beginning of another heartbreak? She wasn't going to get that far this time. Rachel was married, and Quinn wasn't going to fall for her ways. She had to be strong. Even if she starting hanging out with Rachel again, that didn't mean she had to fall in love with her again.

"She's still beautiful." was all Quinn could say.

Jessica placed her bowl back onto the floor again and licked her lips. "Alright." she mumbled. "Now that I'm done eating, do you have time to fuck before you leave?"

Quinn glanced at the bed behind her and bit her lip. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for the kind reviews you guys left me for the last chapter! I hope this chapter was alright, too? I realise it's quite cliché having someone pretend to be your girlfriend, but I thought it'd add a little fun into this story, with a big messy dinner of course. Which will be in the next chapter. I'll try to update faster from now on, I really should do better! Thanks for reading! <em>

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

As soon as she laid eyes on Quinn's girlfriend, Rachel felt her jaw drop. That was positively the most stunning, gorgeous woman she'd ever seen. And she was not even kidding. If she'd thought that Quinn was beautiful and sexy, this was even topping her. Of course no one could beat Quinn in her book, but the diva had to admit – this Jessica person was beautiful.

"Close your jaw, Sweetie." Kurt whispered into her ear, before he slipped past her and reached out for Quinn. "Quinn, my darling!" he eagerly said and wrapped his arms around her. "It's so good to see you again! It's been forever, hasn't it?"

"Hi Kurt." Quinn affectionately said and hugged him back. She pulled back then and met Rachel's eyes briefly over his shoulder. "This is my girlfriend. Jessica."

Jessica reached her hand out and shook his warmly, and Rachel could feel herself stare at her from her place against the wall. "Nice to meet you. Quinn has told me all about you." she dropped his hand and turned to Rachel too, "You must be Rachel." she said, a teasing smile playing across her lips. "I've heard all about you, too. And Quinn and I went to see _Mamma Mia!_ together. You were stunning."

Rachel took in a deep breath and forced herself to reach out and shake Jessica's hand. She was still sizing her up, taking in everything that she was seeing, from the red hair, to the arm covered in tattoos and the midriff of bare skin between her tank top and the top of her military pants. "It's nice to meet you, too." she said, dropping her clammy hand from Jessica's. "My husband is just in the kitchen, checking up on the roasted venison."

"We're having venison?" Quinn asked as she helped Jessica out of her short leather jacket and placed it on the coat-rack. "I thought something smelled delicious."

"Blaine is helping him. The men are in the kitchen." Kurt laughed. "Us girls can catch up in the living room. Now when will Santana and Brittany be here?"

As they moved to enter the living room, Quinn said, "Yeah! There was a problem with the babysitter they'd gotten for tonight, so actually, Santana called and asked if uh – if I thought it'd be okay for them to bring the twins?" she turned to look at Rachel, who was just placing a bottle of red wine on the coffee table, along with some glasses.

Rachel looked up, and for the first time that evening, she dared to look Quinn in the eye for longer than a few seconds. "Yes of course." she said and nodded her head. "Rico and Rebecca are the cutest. When Brittany and I went out for lunch, they were the darlingest kids. We can just put them in the bedroom when they need to sleep."

Kurt sat down on the sofa and crossed one leg above the other. "Oh sweetie! Don't let Nick see them, it'll just make him more eager to have one of his own." he laughed again and patted the spot next to him. "Take a seat Jessica and tell me how you and Quinn met!"

Jessica took a seat next to him and reached for the bottle of red wine immediately. Rachel excused herself to them and turned to the kitchen to see what Nick and Blaine were up to. Nick was just heating things up and chopping up the last items, while Blaine was sitting on the counter, entertaining him with a glass of wine. Nick looked cute in his Kiss the cook-apron and Blaine had on one of his classic coloured bow-ties. She grabbed his glass of wine and took a sip before handing it back to him.

"We're just waiting for Santana, Brittany and the twins." she explained to them. "You should go say hello to Quinn. Can't the food just simmer?"

"It actually can." Nick replied, before he turned around to press a kiss to her forehead. "It's nearly done, ready to be served. It's just going to stay heated." he dried his hands off in the apron and continued. "Now explain to me – twins?"

Rachel knew it'd catch his interest. "Yes. Apparently there was a problem with the sitter, so they're brining their kids. They're the cutest things, you'll love them."

Blaine wriggled his eyebrows. "Oh I'm sure I will too. I've been trying to convince Kurt to go there with me soon, but I think we might wait a few years."

"Us too." Rachel quickly stated, before she pulled him off the counter. "Now, don't be rude anymore. Come join the rest of us and say hello."

"Yes Darling." Blaine teased her, and the three left the kitchen to join the others in the living room. Quinn was drinking her wine quickly, taking big gulps, while Jessica was talking animatedly and Kurt was laughing.

Rachel cleared her throat and caught everyone's attention. "Jessica..." she begun, forcing out a smile, "This is my husband Nick, and this is Blaine."

"My man." Kurt added and sent him a wink.

Rachel nodded. "Yes. And this is Jessica... Quinn's _girl_friend."

Jessica waved her hand funnily. "How do you do." she smiled. "I'd come shake your hand, but I'm stuck between these two, and you know, it's not so bad." she grabbed her glass and took another sip of her wine. "It's a lovely home you two have here."

Nick took a seat in the chair on the other side of the table and served himself some wine. "Well thank you. At some point we'd like to move into a house of some sort, just to get something bigger. But for now, with just the two of us, it's enough."

Jessica replied with something about the house market, and soon everyone was talking at the same time, and Rachel saw that as her excuse to get into the kitchen, finish the last of the salad and start setting the dining table with the food. Santana and Brittany would probably be there soon, and they should get right to dinner once they were. She just needed a second to clear her head. She couldn't explain why it was, but she had this sort of weird feeling in her chest, like someone was squeezing her heart very roughly and wouldn't let go. Her stomach felt heavy, and it was difficult to breathe.

She cleaned a few things off and started sorting everything out of the fridge, the ice water, the salad, the dressing and whatnot. She then checked the sauce and the meat. She didn't understand anything about meat, but it didn't look bad.

It was hard to concentrate. She couldn't wrap her head around the simple task it was to get the food together and set it to the table. She could hear them talking happily in the living room and she didn't know why, but it bothered her. That Jessica girl sure was beautiful. Everything about her screamed sexy and incredible. It annoyed her to no end. What was it with all of those tattoos on her arm? It looked stupid. No one was going to hire a girl like her with an arm covered like that. And that hair and the piercings! She was a beautiful girl, but that was just stupid. What did Quinn see in her anyway? She probably had no future with that girl. She looked like a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. Not a very reliable person. So not a good match for Quinn. Quinn liked order and she liked to have plans. They didn't match. Why was Quinn with a woman like that?

_But why wouldn't she be? _Rachel asked herself as she leaned against the counter and closed her eyes. _You said it yourself. Jessica is beautiful. She's fun. Energetic. She might not look like a reliable person, but that doesn't mean she's not. Of course Quinn is with a girl like that, why wouldn't she be? _

"Are you okay?"

Rachel practically jumped out of her own skin when she heard Quinn's voice so close behind her. She hadn't even heard her come into the kitchen. She turned around and placed a hand on her beating heart. "Oh Quinn, you gave me a fright." she said, as she tried to control the speed of her heartbeat.

Quinn laughed. "Sorry." she said, "I didn't mean to frighten you. I just wanted to say a proper hello."

The brunette smiled warmly at her and reached out to give her a brief hug. "Hello. Thanks for coming today." she stepped back to make some room between them. "It's nice that everyone's here."

The blonde nodded shyly and said, "I was looking forward to it. Jessica, too. She wanted to meet you as soon as she found out that we were old friends."

"She seems great." Rachel forced herself to lie. Although it wasn't that much of a lie. She was sure that Jessica was a very nice person... without Quinn by her side, of course. She wasn't really good enough for Quinn, she was just too tattooed and pierced to be good enough for Quinn. Quinn shouldn't be with some alternative girl, she deserved someone with a classic style and more modest hair colour.

Quinn smiled warmly back at her, "She is." she said, sticking her hands into her pockets. "I love her a lot." she added.

Rachel felt her throat tighten. "You look great by the way." she added, letting her eyes wander over Quinn's body for only a second. She didn't want to get lost in Quinn's curves or the way she looked absolutely fantastic, because that was simply stupid. It'd do her no good to appreciate the way Quinn's black dress hugged her body. It would simply confuse her and make her focus on only that. Quinn did look good in that dress though, there was no denying that.

The blonde woman smiled softly. "You look good, too." she stated, and Rachel felt her burning gaze run down her modest cleavage to her even more modest waist.

She felt herself get a chill beneath those hazel eyes. She swallowed loudly and was about to say something – just anything – to relieve the thick tension in the room that had suddenly risen. But thankfully she didn't have to think of something in her frighteningly empty mind, because she was saved by the bell – literally. The doorbell rang throughout the apartment, and Rachel did a little jump, before she grabbed the salad bowl. "That will probably be Santana and Brittany! Will you please let them in, Quinn, I'm going to set the food to the table."

Quinn nodded, and – with one last questionable look to Rachel – left the kitchen. Rachel could feel her heart beat hotly in her chest, she didn't know what it was, but everytime she was near Quinn like that, the tension between them shifted, and something entirely else rose up in the air. It was scary, it was dangerous, it was... _nice_. Rachel could recall the way they used to be in college, how Quinn would make her feel, and it was strange, because in some way – she felt like she was getting that back right now.

She grabbed the bowl of salad beneath one arm and reached for the water pitcher with the other. She could hear Quinn greeting Santana and Brittany in the hallway and when she entered the living room, she found the others laughing. Nick was practically bubbling over because of something that Jessica had said, and Kurt's high-pitched laughter overshadowed everything else. She placed the food on the table and went directly into the kitchen again to fetch the rest of the food. She was not touching the venison though, Nick or Blaine could get that ready, it was just too much for her.

"Hey..." someone questioned behind her, "...do you need help?"

For the second time that night, Rachel was surprised when someone snuck up on her. However this time, it wasn't Quinn – but Jessica. She turned around, again quite shocked, and couldn't help but glare at the unfamiliar girl. It just came out of her, even though she regretted it instantly. She couldn't stop herself from shooting those daggers she also sent Nick when she got very annoyed with him. Perhaps it was because she'd been annoyed with Jessica since she and Quinn arrived to the apartment, but that still didn't give her the right, and she broke into a fake smile immediately after, trying to make it all right again.

"Oh Jessica!" she pushed a piece of her hair away and turned to get the potatoes and carrots into a bowl. "Uhm actually," she stated, and she really wanted to tell her to get lost, but she knew that it wouldn't help her case, and what if Jessica knew a thing or two about cooking meat? She could take a look at the venison and give her opinion. Rachel turned back around. "the uh – the venison? I'm a vegan so I have no idea whether it's done or not. Would you mind taking a look?"

Jessica nodded her head and bent down to the oven right away, opening it to poke at it with the fork that Rachel handed her. "Seems good." she stated and stood back up. She turned off the oven and grabbed the oven-mittens from the kitchen table. "Quinn didn't tell me that you're a vegan." she said.

Rachel watched as Jessica got the meat out of the oven, before placing it on the table. "Yes. I've been vegan most of my life. Quinn always teased me about bacon. Does she still love bacon?"

The redhead turned around to look at her. "Oh yeah. She eats lots of bacon!" she placed the mittens on the table. "Do you want me to cut this for you?"

"That'd be really great!" Rachel eagerly said and quickly pulled a drawer open to find the right knife. She hated that Jessica was the sweet and kind to her, helping her out so willingly. She made it very difficult to hate her – it would have been much better if she'd been a completely selfish idiot. When she was this nice, it was hard to keep convincing oneself that she was not right for Quinn. "So..." Rachel continued and handed her the knife. "You really seem to care a lot about Quinn."

Jessica turned to the venison and seemed focused on that entirely as she took her time to answer. "I do. Quinn's... Quinn is an amazing person. I wouldn't trade her for anything. She's kind, she cares about me, she's got everything under control, she knows what she wants." Jessica shrugged. "And she's great in bed, too, of course." she turned to Rachel and winked at her.

The diva swallowed soundlessly.

"She told me all about your friendship though."

Her heart sped up, just slightly. "She did?"

Jessica nodded her head, still focused on cutting the meat perfectly. There was happiness streaming from the other room, and Brittany's bubbling laughter was the clearest. "Yeah... She said you guys were very close, but that you lost touch with each other."

Rachel was afraid to ask, but she knew she had to do it. Everything sort of lead up to that, but that didn't mean she wasn't afraid to hear the answer. She forced it out of herself, in a soft, tender whisper, "Did she say why?"

There was a long pause. "No." Jessica mumbled. "No, she did _not_."

She felt relief stream though her, and Rachel quickly continued their conversation. She wanted to change the subject away from how they lost touch, to something that she was more curious to know – Quinn and Jessica's relationship. She was eager to know more; she wanted to hear how they met, how long they'd been together, if they thought they'd stay together – all of those things. She had to just delicately change the subject away from her own past with Quinn and to Jessica's present with her. "I still care about Quinn. I'm glad that she's happy with you."

Jessica turned around to stare at her; her green eyes were piercing as she watched her, silently, for about ten seconds. Then she whispered, "Are you really?"

"What do you mean?" Rachel quickly asked. She was starting to get uncomfortable really fast, and she did not like it. The way that Jessica was looking at her... it was weirding her out, scaring her. There was something about the way she was watching her, it was not nice. It was actually pretty frightening.

She continued, a small sideways smile on her face. "Oh nothing." she said then, and with a sigh, she placed the knife on the table. "This should be done now. Are we ready to eat?"

Rachel couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling off, but she nodded her head anyway. "Yes..." she whispered, "Let's eat."

**-Faberry- **

The atmosphere around the dining table was light and fun. They were reliving old days, and Santana and Kurt were taking the lead, trying to sing old Glee songs aloud while they got drunk in red wine. The food had been so wonderful; there'd been bean and bacon rolls, something that Quinn loved dearly, but the venison had been amazingly roasted, too. Nick and Blaine had really outdone themselves with this feast.

Rachel had been forking her potatoes and her salad all night, clearly not as into this dinner as everyone else seemed to be. Quinn couldn't help but be affected by the way she seemed to just push her food around and not eat anything. Nick had been caring towards her, noticing this too, which just irritated the blonde woman, because not many men were like that, and why did Nick have to be so tender?

Santana was really drunk though, and so was Kurt. Brittany and Rachel had ended up moving the twins from the bedroom to the music room down the hall – it was soundproofed so Rachel could practice in peace without angry neighbours, and this left the kids in a peaceful place so they weren't able to hear when their Latina mama got louder while she practically inhaled her wine.

Quinn was surprised to see how Brittany and Rachel seemed to be on the same page. The two of them weren't friends in high school, how come they were suddenly so friendly with each other? Everything was so strange about that; apparently they'd been out before Brittany even got that job. It had taken awhile for Santana to coarse that out of the blonde dancer, but apparently she'd went to find Rachel herself. The Latina had not been pleased with that, but everything seemed forgotten right now – everyone was having a wonderful time.

"You look _so_ hot in that dress." Jessica whispered into her ear, placing a lingering kiss on the side of Quinn's head. It sent a wave of chills down her body – right to her core.

Turning her head slightly to the side, she was vaguely aware of Rachel's chocolate eyes watching her from across the table; she could feel them prickling on her skin, but she looked to Jessica's green orbs instead. "What are you doing?" she hotly whispered as their eyes locked.

Jessica traced her tongue over her lips slightly, wetting them. "I'm telling you what I think of you in that dress." she continued to murmur.

Quinn arched an eyebrow. "But why?"

"To see..." Jessica trailed off, brushing her finger across Quinn's collarbone, "...Rachel's reaction."

The blonde woman immediately felt her heartbeat speed up as she leaned closer to Jessica's body. She traced her lips over her cheek, just barely, before whispering, directly into her ear, "Is she looking at us?"

Jessica hummed in response.

Feeling bold – and daring – Quinn tracked her lips to Jessica's and kissed her briefly, before leaning back and reaching for her glass of wine. Whew, that just rushed straight to her head, she was feeling kind of buzzed after that little display of affection with the other women. It was true though, Rachel had been watching them, because as soon as Quinn had turned back around, she'd suddenly seemed very interested in her dirty plate.

"...remember when we sang _Perfect_ together, don't you?" Kurt just finished his sentence as he battered his eyelashes at Blaine.

The curly-haired guy laughed. "Yes! I do love my Pink songs, that's for sure."

"You always sang Pink songs!" Quinn heard herself break in, before she could even stop it.

Brittany nodded in agreement. "It's true. You did. Also when you were in the Warblers."

Blaine nodded his head, his wine practically slurping over in his glass as he tried to drink it. "Hmm. But we sang that song for you, Santana, you remember that? Right when you were coming out to your parents? We sang it for you, man."

"Wait what?" Jessica broke in, sounding entirely confused, "I get that all of you guys went to high school together, except you-" she pointed to Nick, "and you were all in Glee Club together?"

"Hell fucking yeah!" Santana slurred.

"And you guys sang Mrs. Latina Lawyer a Pink song when she came out, or what?" Jessica continued, just to get the facts straight.

Quinn turned to explain it to her, "We all wanted to help Santana. Kurt and Blaine did because, well, they were Kurt and Blaine and they were out. We all supported her." she said, but she couldn't help but think about Finn and the entire debacle with him and how that had seemed to blow up in everyone's faces. Of course Rachel had plain out supported him, just like she always did back in high school. "Oh wait!" she added loudly, as a giant grin broke out on her face, and she pointed to Rachel, "You even sang with her! Do you remember?" she looked from Rachel to Santana, then back to Rachel again. "You guys sang _I Kissed a Girl_!"

Jessica broke out laughing, "You did!"

"Oh Berry!" Santana said, slamming her glass so roughly into the table that it was a miracle that it didn't break. "That was some hot singing you and I did there. You were such a closeted hottie back in high school." she leaned back in her chair and watched them through her long fake eyelashes. "_I kissed a girl and I liked it! The taste of her cherry chapstick!_"

"_I kissed a girl just to try it!_" Rachel laughed, "_I hope my boyfriend don't mind it!_" she finished, before placing an arm around Nick's shoulder and a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

Quinn was surprised with how drunk she appeared to be, but then again, she always had been a light-drinker. And with no food in her belly? It'd be _Rachel Berry's Train Wreck Extravaganza_ all over.

"_I kissed a girl and I liked it!_" Quinn sang, mimicking Rachel's actions by placing an arm around Jessica's shoulders, "_And I'm sticking with it!_" she added, making up her own ending.

Nick seemed entirely entertained as he broke into a full-blown belly-laugh followed by Blaine and then Brittany, before the rest of them were laughing, too. Quinn could feel laughter bubbling out of her own stomach, happiness was streaming out of her, she could feel it; the wonder, the magic, the overwhelming feeling of complete and utter joy. It was so long since she'd felt like this. She didn't get it. She was always with Brittany and Santana, she was often with Jessica. But there was just something about being here, with Kurt and Blaine too, definitely with Rachel, and even Nick, that made her feel so utterly happy. She couldn't describe it. Maybe it was relief because she was finally sitting here with Rachel again – she hated to admit it, but she'd missed her all these years, even after what happened, she'd missed her so much. And now she was back in her life; it felt like they were letting go of the past by reminiscing about it. It felt like she could finally forget it, move on, and perhaps get a future with someone.

Not Rachel, but _someone_.

"We should move this to the coffee table." Nick said then, when the laughter was quieting down. "We have dessert! And I have Bailey's and there's ice cubes in the freezer."

Santana pointed her finger at him. "You're my kinda man, Mister Nick!"

"I'll help you!" Blaine proclaimed as he pushed his chair back and him and Nick went lollygagging into the kitchen to prepare the dessert with least effort possible. They were talking loudly, and especially Blaine was slurring his words together.

"Now Ms. Brittany S. Pierce." Kurt said then and pushed his chair back, "You are sober I presume, so I feel that I must ask you to accompany me to the music room so I can admire your youngsters!"

Brittany just looked at him. "Huh?"

Santana patted her thigh, "Just go with him to check the children, Britts."

Understanding seemed to dawn on her then, and the two of them linked their arms together and went into the hallway to go check on the twins in the other room. The baby monitor hadn't alarmed them, but it was better to make sure anyway, that they were okay. Quinn just hoped that Kurt wouldn't wake them up or something.

"This was a very good dinner, Rachel!" Jessica said then and pushed her chair back to stand up.

"Thank you, Jessica. Blaine and Nick really did the most, so they're the wonderful cooks." she replied and stood up as well. "We should sit in the couches, don't you think? It's a much more comfortable place for us to enjoy our dessert."

Santana rolled her eyes then and quickly retreated to the giant chair that Nick usually sat in. "Yadda-yadda-yadda, you Oompa-Loompa! Brings me some beers, huh! We need alcohol!"

Rachel rolled her eyes at the degrading comment. "Nick-naming me will not make me bring you beers, Santana." she said then, before she took a seat on the couch.

Quinn chuckled to herself and moved to sit down on the couch – right next to Rachel, but with a bit of a distance between them. She did it on purpose though, because when the others returned, she'd have to move a bit closer to make room for them, and that was exactly what she wanted; to feel close to Rachel again, to feel their skin brush and the wonderful scent of her hair.

Jessica was gazing at something on the shelf and she suddenly broke into a giant squeal. "Oh this is so great!" she exclaimed and did a funny little jump, before she grabbed a picture-frame from the shelf and fell down in the couch next to Quinn. "Is this your old Glee Club, Sweetie?" she questioned.

Quinn couldn't hide her smile when she saw the picture; it was from their senior year, right after they won Nationals. They were hoisting that giant trophy between them and the smiles on their faces could not have been bigger. Rachel's was the absolute brightest. It was clear, and it stole the entire picture. Quinn was right there next to her; her arm was around her and she looked so happy, too. But now that she was watching the picture closer, she could see that the 18-year-old Quinn was not looking at the shining trophy in Puck and Mike's hands – but at the smiling diva brunette right next to her.

She swallowed loudly. "Yeah..." she whispered, tracing her finger over her own face, "This is us. Back in high school."

"Damn, you look silly!" Jessica added and gazed towards Rachel with a laugh.

Rachel's cheeks flushed a deep red and she stared into her lap. "Yes. I did have a rather unfortunate way of dressing myself in my younger years." she lowly murmured.

Quinn couldn't help but reassure her. Rachel probably still felt bad about the way she'd dressed herself in her younger years – everyone had made fun of her for it (especially Santana and – Quinn gulped at the thought – herself at some point). It had been a big pain for her, and when they started college in the city, she'd gotten Kurt and Quinn's help to renew her wardrobe a bit. And when Quinn looked at her now, her sense of style was spotless; she looked exactly like the star she was. But her past had always haunted her, and it probably always would.

"It wasn't that bad." she reassured the diva, placing a gentle hand on her bare arm. She paused for a second, enjoying the feel of Rachel's nude skin beneath her fingers, before she quickly pulled her hand back.

Rachel cleared her throat loudly and grabbed the picture-frame out of Jessica's hands before hurrying around the table and turning to the shelf, with her back towards the three other women, and placing the frame back. Jessica nudged Quinn in the side and made a saying face towards Quinn; the blonde wasn't quite sure exactly what that grimace was supposed to mean, but it was saying anyway.

The diva was taking her time putting that frame back and Santana raised her eyebrow at Quinn and wriggled it a few times. "Oh Quinnie, my little lesbian." she lowly murmured.

Quinn shot daggers in her direction.

Jessica leaned in and placed her lips as close to Quinn's ear as possible, before she whispered, "You're getting into deep water already, Quinn. She's married."

The blonde swallowed. "I'm not imagining the way she looks at me, am I?" she whispered back with her eyes firmly on Rachel's back. The diva wasn't moving at all.

"No." Jessica replied, before she pulled back.

There was a weird tension in the room (Santana was enjoying it), but thankfully the drunk cooks, Blaine and Nick, entered the living room with a tray each; there was some sort of delicious looking ice cream in bowls on them, but there was also shot-glasses and ice-cubes and ice-cold Bailey's in a huge bottle.

"We come bringing dessert!" Blaine announced. He paused though, when he saw the odd situation in the room. He glanced from Rachel – who was quickly turning around to look at them rather than the shelf – to Santana in the chair, to Jessica and Quinn on the couch. He made a funny sound. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Rachel quickly said, before she rubbed her hand against her cheek and crossed the floor. She grabbed the tray out of his hands and placed it on the table. "Get this ready. I'm just going to get Kurt and Brittany."

When she'd left the room, Nick turned to Quinn with a questionable look. "Is she okay?" he asked her, and she hated it, but he actually sounded very concerned despite his drunken state.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Berry's just being dramatic." she proclaimed and sat up straighter in the comfortable chair.

Nick grabbed the back of the chair and turned it around, so him and Santana were front to front; his actions were quick and rough, and he growled at her. "Hey! Don't say that about my wife." he firmly told her. "You're a guest here Santana, and I know you and Rachel had problems before, but as I'm understanding things, most of those problems came from you, until Rachel simply didn't have patience for you anymore." his eyes were tough and hard, and his fingers were curling against the back of the chair. "Don't talk about her that way when you're a guest in this house."

The Latina looked very surprised to see such a strong reaction from Nick and she immediately bent her head. "I'm sorry!" she quickly said. At least she was smart enough not to argue with him – Quinn knew that if she'd gone against him, he would have thrown her out of the apartment without a second thought. That was why Nick was so good for Rachel in so many ways (even though Quinn hated that), because he actually stood up for her.

"Quinn, let's go to the bathroom." Jessica said then, and before Quinn had time to object, she was pulled up by the hand and dragged towards the hallway. Jessica looked around for a second then, before she turned towards the only door in the hallway that could possibly be the bathroom.

Quinn mumbled, "What the fuck?" just as the door was unlocked and they came face to face with a visibly upset Rachel – her eyes were red and she was sniffling a little bit.

Her eyes turned wide when she saw them standing there, side by side, "What's going on?" she whispered.

Holding out their linked hands, Jessica replied, with a clearly cheerful feeling, "Quinn and I are just going to the bathroom for a little while." she said, and even though the sentence was filled with simplicity, it was clear – just in the way she said it – that there was meant to be something more than just that; there was something more underneath the words she was saying, something implied.

It took a second for Rachel to reply, but her eyes fell down and she whispered, "Oh." before she pushed past them and went straight for the bedroom where Kurt and Brittany were still with the kids.

Jessica tugged Quinn into the bathroom then and closed the door, before turning the lock. She leaned against the door then, trying told hold back a laugh.

Quinn glared at her. "Was it really necessary to imply that?" she questioned.

The other women shrugged her shoulders. "Probably not. It's not like it isn't fucking true though. We've fucked before Quinn and we'll probably fuck again."

The blonde woman took a seat on the closed toilet and glared up at her lover. "No need to rub it in her face!"

Jessica slid her back down the front of the closed door and ended up with her butt on the floor. She stretched her legs out completely in front of her and sighed happily. "I'm so buzzed right now." she whispered. "_Quinn_! I don't really get all of this. You're in a mess, aren't you?"

Crossing her arms in front of her own chest, Quinn asked, "What do you mean?"

"This Rachel person..." Jessica begun with a small smile. "I don't get what you told me, it – it doesn't _fit_, Quinn! You told me that she didn't want to be friends with you, because you were in love with her, and she wasn't able to handle that, that – that she was getting married." she started, her voice trailing off a little bit as she looked thoughtful, "But... if she is married to Nick – which we know that she is! – then how come it seems like she loves you, too?"

Quinn closed her eyes for a second; she didn't know why Jessica was getting this idea, how she was noticing these things? Where did she get it from? The blonde felt claustrophobic suddenly, locked in in this bathroom, like she couldn't get out, and she couldn't breathe. She tried to steady her shallow breathing, told herself to calm down, but it was hard, especially when Jessica was saying these things. "What are you talking about?" she whispered then, turning her eyes to meet Jessica's green ones.

Jessica rubbed her eyes carefully, licking her lips. "I can just see it." she whispered, looking seriously at Quinn. "In the way she looks at you. In the way she reacts when I do tiny things to you, like kiss your cheek..." she trailed off. "There's something there Quinn, and I – I'm worried because she's a_ married _woman... But-"

"But what?" Quinn cut in on her, desperately wanting to hear Jessica's thoughts.

"But it seems like this could blow way out of proportion." Jessica seriously said, locking their eyes firmly together. "Promise me you'll be careful, Quinn. Someone's going to end up hurt, and it might very well be you."

Quinn could hardly pull her eyes away from her now. She could feel it pulsating beneath her skin, that something was going to come, that the wind was changing around her. "Nothing's going to happen." she whispered, but it sounded wrong, even in her own ears. Like she wouldn't be able to promise that, because she had no way of knowing it.

Jessica closed her eyes for a second, thinking, "You don't know that." she said, "Something's coming, and I want you to think it over."

"Nothing's coming." Quinn continued to deny.

"Just be careful." Jessica said, and she wasn't backing away, she was deeply serious.

Quinn didn't know what to say, she just stood up then, adamant about getting back to the living room and continuing the evening with her friends. She didn't want to be stuck inside this bathroom anymore with Jessica, she wanted to get out, she needed to get out, before she was going to hyperventilate. She was stopped though, by Jessica's hand on hers. She looked down at the other woman.

Jessica stared up at her. "This probably means that you and I don't have that much time left together, doesn't it?"

The blonde swallowed, "Probably." she whispered, before she grabbed Jessica by the hand and pulled her up. "But let's not think about this." she said, "I have no idea what's going to happen, and neither do you. Let's just get into the living room and eat our desserts."

The other woman nodded her head. "Alright." she said. "Just know that... I love you, Quinn."

"I love you, too." Quinn replied, before she unlocked the door and went outside.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this fiction! I'm happy to hear that all of you like it so far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too. It was a lot more difficult to write than I had expected, but I think it turned out quite good – differently than I'd expected, but still good! <em>

_Please leave me your thoughts; I'd love to know what you think of this!_

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

_Beep. _

"Hello Quinn. It's Rachel. I just wanted to thank you for the other night – it was wonderful seeing you again. And meeting Jessica, she sure seems like a lovely women. I'd hoped we'd be able to meet up again soon? Perhaps grab some dinner, maybe see a movie? Just uh – call me back as soon as you get this. Oh, and I have your scarf. You left it here, so... Yes! Call me back!"

_Beep. _

"Hi Quinnie. It's Mom! I just wanted to hear how you were doing. It's been a while since I heard from you. Are you doing okay there, in New York? Your sister's doing well, the kids too. I just wanted to let you know that we all miss you. Call me back soon. Love you! Bye!"

_Beep_.

"Yo chica loca! What are you doing for dinner? Call me back, alright?"

_Beep. _

"Quinn. It's uh, it's Rachel again. It's been a few days since I called. I don't know if you're busy with work or what's going on, but I really do think that we should meet up again soon so we can talk about a few things. And as I said earlier, I do have your scarf."

_Beep._

"Hi it's Alice. I just wanted to let you know that I won't be at work tomorrow. My son's sick. I already talked to my clients, I'm just giving you a head's up. See you on Monday. Bye."

_Beep._

"It's Rachel again. Hi Quinn. Did I mention that I have your scarf?"

_Beep. _

Quinn hung up the phone and sat down by the kitchen table with her head in her hands. She was _so_ tired. She could barely function right now. Every limb of her body was sore and tired, and she felt like she had to drag herself around. She hadn't been sleeping well these past few days, and she hated it. Since that night where they had dinner at Rachel's apartment, thoughts had been swirling around in her head without mercy.

She couldn't help it, but she kept thinking about Rachel. She couldn't get her out of her mind; the way she'd looked at her, with those eyes that held so much emotion. They'd been watching her carefully since she entered the apartment that night, and it had been difficult to shake them off. Now, she couldn't forget the way she'd looked at her with something akin to love. It was crazy, it felt out of this world, but Quinn was practically certain that Rachel had looked at her like that.

Even her conversation with Jessica was floating around inside her brain; the conversation they shared inside that bathroom had been spot-on. Everything that Jessica had noticed throughout the evening had been interesting to hear; she'd read some things that were rather new to Quinn, rather surprising and shocking, but still nice in a way. Especially what she'd said about Rachel. Not that Quinn was just happy that apparently Rachel was watching her in that way – how could she be? Rachel was a married woman, and nothing good was ever going to come out of that. But still... some part of her... really enjoyed thinking of Rachel watching her like that – perhaps wanting her like that. Even if nothing was going to happen.

That was what had kept her so on edge these last few days. She'd been so torn about what to do. On one hand she just wanted to enjoy the fact that apparently Rachel might feel something for her too, if not only the attraction, but on the other hand... She told her mind to stop thinking like that. She felt that she had to stay away, that it would just be better if she did, because Rachel was with Nick, and she was going to stay with Nick. So why would Quinn want to torture herself by getting closer, yet not close enough?

It was a bizarre situation. Quinn was stuck. She could feel this pull inside of her own chest, wanting her to get closer, to feel Rachel like that again, but her brain was telling her otherwise. It was difficult to figure out. Especially because Quinn had nothing holding her back. She loved Jessica, and Jessica loved her. But they weren't girlfriends and they were never going to be girlfriends, because it wasn't meant to be. They weren't supposed to be together like that. Quinn knew this, and so did Jessica. The other woman was even okay with it. In fact, so okay that she'd already accepted that – soon – they might not even be fuck-buddies anymore.

Quinn adored Jessica, she really did. Especially because of what she was doing for her, helping her like this. The red-headed student had already told Quinn that she was going to come along to another gathering if Quinn needed it. Not that the blonde woman thought that she did, but perhaps if Rachel started asking too much about her, or wondering where she was at, she'd have to tag her along. It wouldn't be too helpful if she wanted to get closer to Rachel though. However, it did have one good affect on the brunette diva: It made her insanely jealous.

Or at least that's what Jessica had told Quinn. Now. The blonde had never been too good at reading those signs, at seeing these things, not when it came to women. She'd perfected the act in high school when she was dating boys. But females? They weren't readable in the same way, and Quinn found herself struggling to understand them. But Jessica; she was amazing at that, and according to her, Rachel would have had steam coming out of her ears, had she been a cartoon character. She'd been jealous. _Very_ jealous.

Quinn wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or not. It put her in quite a pickle, really. Because if Rachel was actually this jealous, it meant that she liked Quinn in some way. That she didn't want her to be with anyone else. But Rachel was still with Nick. So it was up to Quinn – did she try to get closer to Rachel and accept whatever outcome there'd be, or did she pull away, out of respect for not only herself, but also their marriage?

There were two sides of this situation, and two sides of her. She couldn't decide which one to follow, her heart or her head, which was why she hadn't been able to actually get some much needed sleep this week. The one night she'd tried to medicate herself to fall to sleep, she'd been in such an unpeaceful slumber, she'd been tossing and turning, and when she woke up the next morning, she hadn't felt rested, actually she'd felt even more tired.

Quinn shrugged and turned her eyes downwards to look at phone. _What to do? What to do? _She sighed. She should probably call her mother back. And Alice, and Santana. But she couldn't really wrap her head around that right now. She ought to call Rachel too, didn't she? Just to, you know, call her and ask her when they could meet so she could get her scarf? She might have left it there on purpose because Jessica drunkenly ordered her to, and she did need it. So in all circumstances, no matter if it was a good idea to see Rachel again or not, she'd most definitely have to. That scarf wasn't just a cheap one. It had been expensive and it was hers, and it was her favourite.

Maybe Rachel had time to grab some dinner tonight? Quinn wasn't sure what Nick's hours were, but Rachel was probably free. After the end of _Mamma Mia! _she only had rehearsals for _West Side Story_, and those were during the day. Quinn knew this from Brittany. She'd have her Friday night off.

Before she had time to stop herself, Quinn had grabbed the phone and quickly found Rachel's number in the phone book. She pressed her name and held the phone to her ear, tapping her free hand impatiently against the table.

She picked up pretty darn quickly. "Hello Quinn?" she sounded happy to hear from her, thrilled even.

"Hi. Yeah. It's me." Quinn mumbled, but quickly corrected herself when she realised that 'me' usually referred to a husband or wife, or perhaps a partner, some sort of couple really. "It's Quinn Fabray." _Why the Fabray now? She knows it's you! You've known each other since high school, for Christ's sake! You're probably the only Quinn she knows! _

Rachel breathed out deeply on the other end of the phone. "I have your scarf." she said then.

Quinn nodded to herself. "Yeah I uh – I got your messages. Thank you."

"Do you have time to meet me soon so I can return it to you?" Rachel queered then, in a more than hopeful voice. "It looks rather expensive to me."

The blonde woman couldn't hide her smile. Rachel sounded eager, she sounded_ very_ eager to see her soon. And it made Quinn hopeful, because if Rachel was this eager to see her, then it couldn't be so bad. She felt the need to scream out 'hell yes!' because that was the way she felt inside, just wanting to see the other woman so desperately, but she also knew that she had to control herself. There was a fine line, and she should not cross it. But she could only restrain herself so much. "How about tonight? Are you busy?"

Rachel didn't answer right away. She made a slight humming sound as she thought it over. "Let me just talk to Nick real quick, is that okay? Just hang on for a second."

There was some fumbling on the other end of the line, and Quinn could hear the murmurs of their voices in the background, although she couldn't make out what they were saying. She felt her heart thud madly in her chest in anticipation; she wanted badly to see Rachel tonight. She wanted it probably too much, but at this state, there was no point telling her heart to slow down or anything, she couldn't control it no matter how hard she tried. The heart did what the heart did – just like it wanted whatever the fuck it wanted. Quinn had learned that a very long time ago. And she'd learned to live with the consequences, even if they were painful.

"Nick had other plans for us, but since it's very important, and since it's _you_, he says," Rachel started, when she suddenly came back onto the line, talking at the speed of light, "that it's alright with him. He'll just spend the night writing on his article."

Quinn could feel that burst of happiness stream right through her. She was going to see Rachel. Quite possibly within a few hours. "So it's a date?" she questioned, and she hated herself for it, but she used that word on purpose.

Rachel answered, "Sure! Do you want to just quickly meet up, or do you have time to catch a movie or something? We could get dinner after."

The blonde woman was liking the sound of this even more. "That sounds absolutely amazing. Dinner and a movie. Perfect." she replied, and she couldn't hide her smile. She didn't even have to; she was alone in her kitchen and she was grinning like an idiot.

"How about we meet up in about an hour? Should I come by your place? I'll catch a cab and we can go from there?" Rachel suggested, and Quinn could hear how happy she was too. She was not imaging this, she could really hear it. Rachel wanted this, too.

She checked her watch. She'd have to shower and catch a quick bite to eat so she wouldn't starve before dinner. But it was doable. She had an hour until Rachel would be there, and she always had been quicker to dress than most girls with her amount of vanity. She could do it. "Yes, that's a deal. I'll see you soon, Rachel." she whispered, before she hung up the phone and placed it on her kitchen table.

She took a short second to think things over. Alright. She was seeing Rachel very soon, and the most important thing was to look absolutely fantastic. And find an outfit where the scarf matched, because that way she wouldn't have to carry it around all night. She had to do her hair, her make-up and find the perfect shoes. And it didn't hurt if she brought out one of her more 'gay' outfits, just for the occasion. Rachel would probably dress classically with a twist of the Berry Broadway Babe they saw in the magazines, so Quinn wanted to shake things up and see her reaction to the tomboy in her, and not the Office Quinn.

"Off to the shower!" she told herself with a loud laugh, and cranked up the radio, before she rushed through the apartment and stripped her clothes off.

**-Faberry- **

It was so wrong, but Quinn really felt like this was an actual date. The way the entire evening had been so far, it just appeared to be that way. It was pure instinct, but she kept holding doors for Rachel, kept being the gentleman that she would always be when she tried to woo someone. She told herself to stop, but then the next time they went through a door, she held it open again.

Rachel was so incredibly beautiful this evening. Quinn had been right when she thought that she'd dress like the true starlet she was. She always looked nice and ready for the public eye in case something happened, but today she'd really outdone herself in Quinn's opinion. Honestly, she looked drop-dead gorgeous. Her hair, her make-up, her clothes, it was perfection. And for some reason, it matched Quinn's tomboy appearance perfectly.

When Rachel first had seen her, she'd been surprised, that was evident. But Quinn could – despite her usually overwhelming femininity – really dress like the stereotype lesbian. With a white dress-shirt and bow-tie and everything. Her jeans were slightly ripped, her Converse shoes adequately worn, and above all that, she wore her stylish jacket, that went perfectly with the dark grey scarf that Rachel returned to her.

They'd caught a comedy at the movie theatre, deciding on something safe; nothing romantic, nothing action-filled, and it had been the right decision. It'd eased Quinn's nerves a lot, she'd just been laughing and sharing her popcorn with Rachel, and now that the movie was done, it seemed like they were a bit more comfortable around each other than they'd been when they first saw each other earlier. They'd shaken away the tension.

"So what do you want to do for dinner?" Rachel asked her as they started walking down the pavement. Her high heels were clicking against the ground and the wind was blowing her hair back slightly, and she looked absolutely stunning in Quinn's eyes.

The blonde shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her scarf even more around herself; the wind was quite cold for this time of year, but it might be the hour. "I don't know. Are you in the mood for something special?" she questioned as she peeked at the brunette from the corner of her eye. Even though the tension was gone and they could talk freely, she was still nervous. Her palms were slightly sweaty, and she didn't know what Rachel was thinking. She used to be able to read her like an open book, but she found herself getting stuck sometimes now. Perhaps it was because Rachel didn't want her to know everything, maybe she was battling a few of her own wars inside her mind.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders and dug her hands into the depths of her long jacket. "I don't feel like going out somewhere crowded. We should find some place quiet." she paused. "So we can, you know, _talk_."

Quinn heard her put pressure on the word 'talk' and she felt hope blossom inside her chest because she was eager to know more. The first time they'd gone out for coffee together, she'd asked Rachel to please explain to her why her reaction had been the way it was that night in the car. Perhaps she was going to explain it to her now? Quinn could only hope so. "Well..." she trailed off, "there's always my apartment, but I don't have anything to eat."

"I know!" Rachel said then, a bright smile coming onto her face. "Why don't we buy some noodles and eat them laying on the floor like we used to in college? We could also grab a good bottle of red wine and just... talk." she looked into the sky, squinting her eyes together. "I love red wine conversations. Those are the best."

The blonde felt herself grow completely warm at the idea of doing just that. It was exactly what she'd wanted all along, she just hadn't known it before now. As soon as the suggestion left the brunette's lips, she was certain that that was exactly what they should do. She glanced at the other woman with a smile. "Yes. Let's do that. What do you say we walk to my place and find somewhere to shop on the way?"

Rachel nodded her head. "That sounds _wonderful_."

The walk to Quinn's apartment wasn't too long, but it was almost completely silent. They walked side by side, barely talking except to make short comments, but it wasn't even awkward. It was very nice. Quinn felt relaxed in Rachel's presence, she felt at home with her, comfortable. There was only so many people she felt like that with, and it was so nice. They joked a little bit with each other, enjoyed the fresh air and people-watched. On the way to the apartment building they stopped by a little shop on the corner; the owner was this tiny Asian man who always greeted Quinn very happily when she came five minutes before closing time to buy whatever it was that she needed.

Today she bought two packages of noodles; one vegan and one with chicken, and she picked up her favourite red wine on the shelf, before she stopped in front of him and held out her purchases. He smiled funnily at her and laughed loudly as he asked for the money, and Quinn could just feel that it was going to be a good evening.

When they entered her apartment, Quinn heard herself excusing the mess, but really, she didn't care. It was no different from what it had always been in college when they were at her place. She was a messy person, or at least she preferred to be, because inside all of that mass, she had order. She pushed the pile of magazines on the living room floor aside and folded out her most soft blanket.

"Just uh... Just make yourself at home." she said, before she kicked off her Converse shoes and went into her tiny kitchen. She turned on the electric kettle to boil some water, before she tip-toed up to reach for some glasses.

She heard the music turn on in the living room and assumed that Rachel had found the radio. As she screwed the bottle opener down to open the wine, she found herself in deep thought. It was probably dangerous territory to do this with Rachel again, to be exactly like they used to, because that was what made her fall in love with the tiny singer. But if it was dangerous, then how come it felt so incredibly nice?

Quinn pulled the cork out of the bottle and threw her jacket on the kitchen table. She went into the living room with the glasses in one hand and the wine in the other – only to find Rachel laying on her stomach on the floor, her feet dangling in the air. She smiled happily up at her.

"This is like the good old times." she whispered and reached for the bottle. "Do you need help?"

The blonde shook her head. "No. Just give me a minute, okay?"

The diva nodded and continued to pour wine into their glasses, while Quinn went into the kitchen again. She found two bowls in the cupboard and two spoons in the drawer, before she opened the two packages with noodles and poured them into each a bowl. Once the water was boiling, she grabbed the electric kettle and poured it over the noodles. Juggling the two spoons while holding a bowl in each hand, she carefully made her way into the living room again.

Rachel reached up and grabbed first one bowl out of her hand to place it carefully on the floor, before doing the same with the next one. Quinn grinned goofily down at her, before she took a seat in front of her on the blanket. She was sitting up, with her legs crossed Indian style, and looking down at the brunette, who was holding her head in her hands, looking up at her with a gigantic smile.

"So." Quinn breathed out as she grabbed her glass of wine. "Let's toast for... A nice evening."

"Yes!" Rachel agreed, and they clinked their glasses together before sipping the wine. It was fantastic and exactly what Quinn needed.

Rachel immediately dug into her noodles, clearly hungry, and Quinn picked up her bowl too, to taste hers. She was quite hungry too. She'd had a bit of popcorn at the movie theatre, but it wasn't much. Even though these quick noodles didn't really soothe her hunger much long-term, it was better to get something real and hot into her stomach. She savoured the overwhelming taste of chicken and licked her lips. Damn, that was good.

Quinn was enjoying this evening, she really was. When she was with Rachel like this, it took her right back to college and the young girl she'd once been. She remembered their Friday nights in town, drinking drinks they couldn't afford and dancing the night away with each other. She remembered their study nights, which were usually every night of the week, where they'd lie on the floor, exactly like Rachel was doing now, with hot noodles in front of them, hot coffee or tea, and a tonne of papers and books spread out all over Quinn's one-bedroom apartment.

They'd study together, help each other, even though their subjects were nothing alike. They'd goof off, laugh, throw pillows at each other and get into tickling wars. Rachel would spend her time with her best friend in the entire world, and Quinn would spend _her_ time falling more and more in love with a girl who was never meant to be more than just a friend.

Rachel smiled up at her then, and cleared her throat. "So tell me..." she begun, a slight flush on her face. "How did you and Jessica meet? She's a bit younger than you, isn't she?"

The blonde nodded her head. "Yeah she is. We uh, we met one night. I had gone out to get a beer after a very tough day at work. She was the bartender at the place, and since it was mostly the regular old crowd, she started talking to me, and.. We just clicked. We had fun with each other from day one."

"Sounds lovely." Rachel whispered, nodding her head up and down. "I'm glad you're happy, Quinn. You deserve it."

Quinn was sure that Rachel meant what she was saying; that she believed that Quinn deserved to be happy, but she didn't look too pleased about Jessica's part in that. Or perhaps Quinn was just imagining the displeased look on her face – but taking into account what Jessica had noticed and told her the other night, there was a good chance that it was true. Perhaps Rachel really was not happy with Jessica being in Quinn's life – the only question was just why? There was no point to it, there was no reason for it... except if – and Quinn couldn't stop her heart from speeding up at the thought – if Rachel regretted what had happened back then, if she had some sort of feelings left for Quinn that no one knew about, perhaps not even Rachel herself.

She licked her lips and placed her bowl of noodles onto the floor, only to grab her glass of wine and gulp a long sip down. "And you and Nick got married." she stated with a glance to the simple wedding band on Rachel's finger. As if there was ever any doubt they would.

Glancing down at the glistening ring on her finger, Rachel got lost in it for a few seconds, "Yes..." she whispered, lifting her head to meet Quinn's eyes. "I – I owe you an apology, Quinn." she said, "I know I already gave it to you, but you asked for an explanation, and I should give it to you. You deserve at least that much."

The anticipation started coursing through Quinn's veins at this point; she mimicked Rachel's position, lying down on the floor on her stomach, with her glass and her bowl in front of her, and Rachel's face just inches away. She'd been wondering about this since that night, been hurt because of the actions that completely broke her. She'd gone over Rachel's reaction again and again, trying to pinpoint what exactly made her react in the way she did. It was so uncharacteristic of the lithe diva. She'd never been a person to hurt someone in that way; and she was the most accepting, open girl that Quinn had ever known. It didn't fit that she'd shoot her down by saying that she couldn't handle being friends with someone who looked at her that way; it _wasn't_ Rachel. Even if she hadn't felt the same, the real Rachel Berry would have just been happy knowing that somebody cared about her that way.

"I realise that I was not fair to you." Rachel whispered, and her big brown eyes were already shimmering with tears. "By talking about this now, I'm going to open up some wounds that'd probably be better left closed. Some of your wounds, some of mine..." she took in a deep breath, "But I'm so happy that you're back in my life. I've missed you with all of my heart, and for us to continue to be friends now... we need to clear the air."

Quinn couldn't agree with her more. She was thrilled that Rachel was back in her life, and she really wanted them to build up a relationship like they'd had in the past, but for that to be done, they had some things they needed to talk about. Santana told Quinn that she shouldn't give Rachel the time of day, but the diva was definitely trying to make things up to her. She'd gotten Brittany a job, she'd had everyone over for dinner. This conversation was the next step for them. "You did hurt me." Quinn whispered, pushing her now empty bowl aside. "You were someone that I thought could never hurt me that way. You were the most important thing in my life, and you tossed me aside like I was trash."

Rachel swallowed loudly and bent her head in shame. "I really am truly sorry, Quinn. I never meant to hurt you. I hope that when you hear my side of this story, you'll try to understand, perhaps even forgive me."

The blonde nodded. "I'll listen."

"I panicked." Rachel started out softly, her voice barely audible above the soft music streaming from the radio, "I told you that I couldn't deal with being friends with you, knowing what I did, and that I was getting married. Nick did ask me to marry him, and I said yes, even though I felt like I wasn't truly ready to be someone's fiancée. I said yes nonetheless, because I was scared."

"What were you scared out?" Quinn breathed.

"Of loving you."

For a second, it felt like the whole world went on pause.

"I was scared, because I was falling for you." Rachel continued, and she now had very visible tears streaming down her cheeks as she talked to Quinn, her voice quivering just slightly. "Everytime I was near you, my heart would start beating faster, and my palms would get sweaty. It took me a while to realise it, but eventually I gathered that... that I was starting to develop some feelings for you."

Quinn could barely contain herself. On one hand she wanted to scream out in happiness, to dance around in joy, but on the other hand, she wanted to hit Rachel on the side of the head and tell her that she was an idiot for not telling her, for hiding it. They could have been together now, they could have been married, maybe even had kids, just like Brittany and Santana. If Rachel had just been honest... Quinn's life would have been so different from what it was now. Actually, it would have been the dream she'd always thought she'd never have.

The blonde swallowed, hoping to moisten her dry mouth. "...you were having feelings for me?"

Rachel continued, barely meeting her eyes. "I was so deeply in love with you." she continued in a hoarse whisper. "But I was _so_ scared."

Quinn knew all about scared. She'd been there, lived through that. It didn't explain Rachel's reaction though. "What were you so scared of that you felt like you had to lie?"

"I was scared... of what it was going to do to my life. I'd had everything planned out." Rachel continued, shifting slightly as she, too, pushed her bowl aside. "Since I was a little girl, my life was planned. I'd worked hard to get where I was, my fathers had suffered so much to get me through school, to get me educated in everything that was showbiz. I didn't want to disappoint them by not being the star I was meant to be." she paused for a few seconds, letting her pointer-finger draw a star in the soft blanket below them. "I knew that if I were to follow my feelings for you, it'd only be a distraction. Perhaps it'd even hurt my future career. Broadway is very accepting of the gays, but not every Broadway fan is. And... and were I to, to engage in a relationship with you, I just knew that I'd start focusing too much on that, on you!, and I'd... I'd lose focus. Just like I did with Finn back in high school."

Quinn nodded, as she took everything in that the other woman was telling her. She didn't like what she was hearing, she thought that it was no good excuse for not being true to oneself, but still – some part of her – actually got what it was that Rachel was trying to convey, how she had to have been feeling all those years ago. It sounded so silly now, now when they were two adult women, and Rachel's career was going so fantastically, like it had always been meant to, but... When Rachel was still only 20 years old, being told by Quinn, her best friend, that she was in love with her, it had got to have scared her. She'd had those feelings herself, she'd not been sure at all that her talent would be able to get her to where she needed to be. So she'd panicked, chosen the easy way out. Quinn didn't like it, but she sure as hell understood it.

Rachel looked up at her then, letting their eyes meet for the first time since the start of her little speech. "So I settled for the easy way. Nick, who was this wonderful guy who really loved and adored me. Who'd be there for me every step of the way with support..." she shook her head to herself, "I accepted his proposal. But I also knew that I had to push you away somehow. My original plan was to let us drift apart little by little once college was over. I knew I could make it seem natural, so that was the idea. But... But when you told me that you were feeling the same as I, I knew that I had to distance myself from you immediately, if not-" she swallowed loudly, "-the consequences would be huge."

"Because you wouldn't have been able to not be with me." Quinn whispered, finishing by voicing the feeling that she was sitting with right now; the feeling that Rachel must have had back then. It was in the air between them, it was practically clear to her. Had Rachel not pushed her away, she would have kissed her instead. Oh, how Quinn wished that she had kissed her...

The diva nodded her head slowly. "So you see." she whispered softly, "It was never a matter of me not loving you. It was a matter of me loving you too much."

Quinn could feel tears prickling in her own eyes. She hated being weak, but she couldn't control herself, not like this. She reached a hand up and quickly brushed the fallen ones away. "You should have told me." she murmured, and the hurt was evident in her voice, she was practically fighting it with everything she had. That overwhelming feeling of needing to cry was taking her chest hostage; she wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. "You should have told me, Rachel!" she repeated with a cry, "We could – we could have been _so good_ together. We could have had everything I've ever wanted."

Rachel blinked a few tears away as she reached a hand out and gently cupped Quinn's cheek. "I know." she whispered, "I'm so, so sorry Quinn. I just, I want you to know that I do regret it." she breathed steadily in and out a few times, "We could have been so good."

"It just hurt so much." Quinn whispered, savouring the feeling of Rachel's soft hand on her cheek, "It still does. When I see you with Nick, I just, I want to scream out because it hurts in my chest." she glanced deeply into Rachel's eyes, trying to convey everything that she was feeling inside, by just one look into those chocolate orbs, "We should have been together. It was you, Rachel, it was _always_ you."

"I'm sorry." the diva repeated, her voice so little and soft, that she sounded like an innocent child.

"It's not fair." Quinn said then, shaking her head to herself. "It's not fair that you're now back in my life, and you're still with him, and I have to watch."

Rachel let her hand fall to the floor beneath her. Her face was wet, her lashes covered in tiny tear-drops, but she looked beautiful. Her lips were slightly parted, and she had a little spot of black mascara on the side of her face. However, she still looked so gorgeous, and all Quinn wanted to do was kiss her.

Quinn whispered, "I _really_ want to kiss you right now."

"I know." Rachel whispered back, "I really want to kiss you, too."

"Tell me not to." Quinn continued, and somehow, she felt that their faces were getting closer and closer, little by little.

The diva paused, "I can't."

Quinn swallowed loudly, and she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't convince herself that it was a bad idea, because every bone in her body told her that it was the most wonderful idea ever. She leaned herself forward, just the last few millimetres, and met Rachel's pink lips in a bruising kiss. The second their lips touched, she felt like the world started spinning. Her eyes were closed, and every nerve-ending in her body was electric. Her body was buzzing, she was hot and cold all at once, there was goosebumps on her arms, yet her palms were sweaty.

She felt Rachel's plump lips mesh perfectly against her own; she could taste her, smell her, feel her, hear her shallow breathing in her ears as she saw fireworks behind her eyelids. Everything was a buzz, and time was standing still as she finally – _finally!_ – kissed Rachel Berry. She'd been waiting so long to have these exact lips against her own, and it was every bit as fantastic as she'd always thought it'd be.

She shifted a bit closer, lifting her hand to the back of Rachel's head, just to have her face even more near to her own, and as she felt the tip of Rachel's tongue peek into her mouth, she couldn't help but let out a soft moan.

And just like that, it was all over. Rachel had pulled back with a jolt, and she was now sitting up straight and breathing heavily, as Quinn groggily tried to get back to herself. She was dizzy, for lack of air perhaps, but most likely also just intoxicated by Rachel, but the diva – although heavily kissed with bruised lips and out of breath – didn't look too pleased. She buried her head in her hands and started shaking.

"Oh no." she whispered, and Quinn blinked a few times as she tried to gather control of the situation. That kiss had been so Goddamn incredible that she could hardly think straight right now. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Rachel continued to chant.

"Rachel..." Quinn breathed out, brushing her own blonde fringe aside and reaching her arm out to touch the other woman.

"What are we doing?" Rachel loudly questioned, brushing Quinn's hand off her shoulder and staring straight into her hazel eyes. "Quinn, what on Earth are we thinking? _You_ have a girlfriend, and I'm _married_!" she whispered, clearly mortified.

Quinn's heart sunk then, into her stomach as realization hit her. Because Rachel was right, of course she was right, but that didn't mean it didn't suck. Because that kiss had been everything that Quinn had ever wanted, it had been wilder and more fantastic that she could have ever dreamt of, and now it was just over, and she was back in reality. She didn't want Rachel to freak out; she wanted her to stay right there with her, on that blanket on the floor in her apartment, and just lie down with her. Just lie. They shouldn't even have sex, they should just lie there, wrapped in each other's arms forever and then a bit longer.

Rachel got off the floor in a hurry. Slipping on her shoes, she turned to Quinn. "I need to go." she said, seriously, as she brushed her hair back and tried to dust off her clothes. "I need to go right now! I - we can't, we can't do something like this, Quinn! It's so wrong, and I need to leave!" she grabbed her purse from where she had thrown it by the door.

"But Rachel-!" Quinn tried to object, but the only answer she got was the door slamming in the hallway.

Folding herself into a little ball on the floor, Quinn hugged her blanket close and let the tears fall.

* * *

><p><em>You guys are absolutely fantastic! Your support is the most amazing thing I've experienced in a very long time. Your reviews make my day, and it's so wonderful to see how you are all following this story and giving me good advice and leaving ideas for me. It's very appreciated! <em>

_I hope you liked this chapter, too! Things are moving forward now, things are happening with these two, although it's probably going to end badly somehow. I don't know ;-) please leave me your thoughts about this chapter! _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

She was washing herself off, when she heard the front door open and close.

Nick shouted to her that he was home, but she didn't turn off the hot water. She felt dirty somehow, and she needed to clean herself off. She'd been in the shower since she got home roughly forty minutes ago, but she still felt like scum. She couldn't wash off the shame no matter how hard she tried. She'd scrubbed every inch of herself with soap and a sponge, her skin was practically red, but it didn't help. She'd even brought the mouthwash into the shower, and lost count of how many times she'd used it.

She didn't feel clean; it was as if she couldn't _be_ clean. What she had done was so traitorous, so wrong, so mean and _so_ disappointing. Nick deserved so much better than a wife who went around kissing other women. Nick was a good guy, he was a good husband, and he respected her and accepted her for who she was; in a way that not many other people had done in her life. Everyone had always had so many problems with her personality, but here was this great person, who'd just been there for her since the first day they met on campus.

Of course she'd kissed other people before, even after they were married. It came with the field. She had to kiss people on stage several times during one show, and Nick never even batted an eyelash. He was just supportive of her. So what made this kiss different? _Everything._ Everything made it different. She'd kissed Quinn, Quinn had kissed her – _she and Quinn had kissed_! It was wrong. It wasn't just a stage-kiss, it wasn't just _work_. They'd just been talking and it had happened; it had happened even though it wasn't supposed to happen. When one kisses someone else and it isn't for work, then it's for play. It's done because these two people share a desire to lock lips, and – Rachel gulped at the thought – she couldn't say that she hadn't wanted to kiss Quinn.

Every fibre of her being had been pulling her towards Quinn. She'd fought it, all night, she'd tried to stand up to her desire to lock her lips to Quinn's red ones. She'd thought of it since she laid eyes on her, which just made it so much worse. It wasn't a spur of the moment kind of thing, it was something she'd been battling with for the entire evening. It couldn't be justified by any means, and she hated herself for it. She was scum, the most horrible wife to ever grace this planet.

How could she even get out of this shower now? How could she go and face Nick? What was she going to do?

She placed her forehead against the wall and closed her eyes. The water was hammering down on her, and the entire bathroom was fogged; she could barely see her feet. But she couldn't go out there. She really felt like her heart was going to burst right out of her chest just by the thought of facing Nick; sweet, old, familiar Nick.

She wanted to come clean and tell him what she had done, she wanted to be honest with him, to clear the air. They'd always shared everything with each other, and this should be no exception. Perhaps if she just told him what happened and promised to never see Quinn again, maybe he would understand it and forgive her. She had been drunk on red wine, and though that was no legitimate excuse, maybe it could soften him up. Nothing good ever came out of lying, so perhaps it would be better to just tell him, even if it was going to crush him to hear it.

He'd be so hurt, feel so betrayed. She could barely stand the idea of doing that to him; of hurting him that way.

She bit er lip as she remembered what had happened in the past. Whenever she'd come clean with her boyfriends – and with this specific thing, she really could not help but think about her and Finn's break-up in junior year of high school – they'd ended up being hurt so badly that they couldn't stay with her. Finn had broken things off with her because of her mess-up with Puck, and really... thinking back, she couldn't blame him.

What if Nick reacted the same way as Finn? What if he told her that he couldn't look at her the same and then threw her out on her behind? Maybe he'd say that he couldn't stay with her, not after the betrayal. She couldn't bare losing him, she really couldn't. He was the foundation of her life; he was the guy she came home to every day, the guy she cooked for, cleaned for. He was the guy she loved; her husband. She wasn't ready to leave him, even if he told her that he wanted her to.

Maybe it would be better if he didn't know, then. Perhaps it wouldn't really matter, because this thing with Quinn, it had only happened one time. They'd kissed, and she'd been sensible enough to pull away because she was married. What Nick didn't know, didn't hurt him. There was no need hurting him with this, because it was over. It was over before it even begun, so why even bring it up?

She'd just have to stay away from Quinn. Clearly Quinn was the problem, because all these feelings and desires came up in her, feelings and desires that should just have stayed hidden. This was just proof that she'd made the right decision all those years ago by telling Quinn to stay out of her life. There had been a reason for the madness. It was clear to everybody involved that she couldn't help herself when she was around the blonde woman, so the only apparent solution was to stay away from her. She'd just have to do that again. It was going to be tough because she didn't _want_ to stay away, but... Everything for her marriage; it was for the sake of her marriage.

Santana was going to murder her if they ever saw each other, just the two of them. And it was pretty clear to her that she couldn't stay entirely away from Quinn, because everyone was reconnecting now, and she and Brittany worked together. But there'd be no more nights like this night, that was for sure. No alone-time with Quinn in empty apartments. If they had to meet up alone, they'd have to do it somewhere crowded. Actually, she'd prefer it if they didn't meet up at all, but if they _had_ to... It should be somewhere in the city.

"Rachel Darling?"

She was pulled out of her thought process when Nick's voice was suddenly heard in the bathroom. He must've opened the door and entered without her noticing. It wasn't even that hard, she'd been thinking and it wasn't possible to see anything with all that fog.

She turned off the shower and pulled the curtain aside, only to find him standing by the sink, looking at her with questions in his eyes. The door to the hallway was open, and the fog was already seeping into the rest of the apartment. "I'm done now." she whispered as she brushed a piece of her soaked hair out of her eyes.

Nick looked amused. "You should open all the windows in here." he said as he opened the cabinet and got out a towel. He handed it to her. "What's with the hot shower?"

"I just needed it." she hoarsely replied. She didn't unfold the towel to dry herself off though, she simply stood there with it.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going to make us some tea. I was out with the guys for a beer. You had a good time with Quinn tonight?"

Her pulse immediately picked up. "Yes." she managed to slip out, desperately trying not to panic.

His eyes searched hers for a second as he smiled funnily at her. "What's with you, babe? Dry yourself off, open the windows and come join me before we go to bed."

She forced out a small smile at him, and he accepted that and turned to leave. She stepped onto the floor of the bathroom and opened the two windows, before she dried the mirror off with the back of her hand and stared right into her own face.

Something had changed tonight, and she could already see it in her eyes. She was wondering if Nick could, too.

**-Faberry-**

"No. _Fucking_. Way."

Quinn shook her head to sort of tell Jessica that it was 'yes fucking way', but the red-head seemed entirely too shocked to even notice the motion. She was in a trance, practically frozen with an open mouth and wide eyes. Quinn had just told her about her lip-lock with Rachel the other night, and Jessica had been caught off guard – entirely.

"You guys _kissed_!" Jessica continued, and her voice was shriller than Quinn had ever heard it before, Jessica wasn't usually a person who'd ever sound shrill, but this time, she really did. "It's not fair! Where was I? Why wasn't I _there_? I wanted to see it!"

The blonde shook her head at her, and sarcastically replied, "Because that would not have been weird, right? With you hiding in the corner or under the couch?"

Jessica rolled her eyes at her and moved eagerly just a bit closer on the floor. "You need to tell me _everything_!" she said, "How was it? Was it wet? Was it good? Did it give you the _butterflies_?"

Quinn stared at her and shook her head in disbelief. "Why are you so weird right now? I can't even talk to you!"

Jessica laughed. "I'm sorry!" she chuckled, and the laughter was practically bubbling out of her, "I'm just really excited about this!"

"You're excited about _my_ kiss with _Rachel_?" Quinn whispered in amusement. She swore, sometimes she didn't understand what was going on inside that girl's head, and Jessica's enthusiasm was sort of frightening her right now. Of course it was a good thing to have some support (contradicting Santana's angry response to the exact same story), but this was a little bit freaky.

She nodded her head eagerly. "Yes! For fuck's sake, Quinn! This is the girl you've wanted for so many years, how can I not support you in that?" she continued to blurt out, her voice going at it with rapid speed, "Sure, it might be odd for some people, but you and I are friends! Beyond everything, we're friends!"

Quinn couldn't hide the small smile that came to her lips then, because that was exactly what she wanted them to be. If they couldn't be lovers like they'd been for a while, she wanted them to be friends.

"I'm just excited for you!" she happily said and reached for her cigarette that had been forgotten since Quinn blurted out 'Rachel' and 'kissed' in the same sentence. It was almost burned out, but she took another wheeze of it and threw the bud into the ashtray in front of her on the floor. "Think, Quinn, this is the girl you were in love with for years, and the two of you actually played tonsil hockey now! That's good, is it not?" she wriggled her eyebrows, flicked another cigarette out of the package and placed it between her lips. She fumbled with the lighter for a second, before it finally turned on. "Why are you not more excited than me? This is odd." she mumbled with the cigarette between her lips, before she sucked in a deep breath and threw the lighter on the floor. She blew the smoke out in a fine little circle.

Looking into the floor for a second, Quinn bit her own lip. She'd been over this with Santana, what had happened, how Rachel had reacted. It wasn't looking good for her, and really, why should it? Rachel was a married woman, and she wasn't just going to get a divorce, not just like that. So really, this wasn't just easy. There were so many things in this, and the fact that they kissed was not a promise of anything. Had they both been single, sure, of course, that would have been the start of something, but not in this situation, not now. "We kissed, but..." she trailed off softly, "she ran afterwards."

Jessica coughed. "She ran? How do you mean?"

Quinn shrugged. "She pulled away, mumbled something about Nick and you, and what were we doing, and... she ran."

Clearing her throat, Jessica readjusted her legs and spread them out in front of her. "That's not necessarily a bad thing." she just said then, pulsating on her cigarette and blowing the smoke out in front of her.

Quinn was confused. "How is that not a bad thing?" she heard herself question in a small voice. It was different, talking about this with Jessica, than talking about it with Santana. Santana had just freaked out, murmured a lot of profanities in Spanish and called Rachel 'puta' a good handful of times, before she'd hung up the phone to help Brittany with the twins. Quinn hadn't gotten a lot out of that conversation, just that Santana was upset with Rachel and wanted to kick her. However this conversation... she might actually get something out of. Jessica always gave her perspective on things, no matter big or small.

"Of course she's going to freak out." Jessica slowly said, looking at Quinn with serious eyes, and a blunt calmness that was almost scary. "She just _kissed_ you. You're an old friend, just back in her life. She's married. She thinks you're in a serious relationship. Of course she's going to need to get out of there and think things over." she shrugged her shoulders and continued, "There's a lot more to this than just your feelings and hers. She's getting perspective on things, and you should be happy about that."

"Is it really a good thing?" Quinn whispered. She still wasn't sure about it. It felt odd that she'd left like that, like she didn't really mean it or want it.

Jessica nodded. "Hell yeah!" she smiled brightly, "It shows that she she's a good person. That she actually cares about you, and not just needs something extra on the side, because her hubby's not giving her any. It shows she's not a cheater, because she didn't just jump into bed with you. There's a lot of good things about this, Fabray, you just need to see them instead on focusing on the part where she stormed out."

Quinn had to agree with her on that. Now, when she thought it over, Jessica made quite a point. That night she'd just felt like she wanted to continue to kiss Rachel, but maybe it was a good thing that they hadn't. She'd been hurt afterwards, when she was left alone in her apartment, but if Rachel had just continued to stay there with her and make out, it would have been wrong (but nice at the moment), because of the situation they were in. Quinn didn't want her and Rachel to just be making out behind Nick's back like some dirty little secret. If they had to make out at all, it was going to be the right way, otherwise she would really rather they didn't kiss at all.

So she was just going to take it easy. She wasn't going to freak out and expect Rachel to call her and tell her that she was leaving Nick. She wasn't going to call her either, she had sense enough to understand that it was better if she stayed away. It was Rachel who had so much at stake, Rachel who had things to figure out, and Quinn was going to let the other woman come to her. And if Rachel didn't come... If Quinn wouldn't have expected anything, she wouldn't be as hurt. Of course there'd still be the memory of this one kiss to haunt her, but if she started thinking, believing that something could happen, she'd feel even more betrayed if it didn't. She was going to leave it all to Rachel; she held all the cards.

"You're too good to be someone's secret lover." Jessica continued with a warm smile, "You deserve to be someone's wife."

"Aw!" Quinn said then with a goofy grin, "Warms my heart, you do!"

Jessica laughed, her chuckles spilling over her pink lips in bubbles, as she held her stomach and her warm eyes landed on Quinn, who couldn't help but laugh as well. She doubled over, clutching her own stomach and shared a laugh with the other woman, a laugh she'd really needed since that night where Rachel left her; she'd needed to loosen up, needed to let go and feel happiness return to her. She'd been sort of in a funk – hadn't known whether to be happy or not. But now, she could definitely see that she might as well enjoy this and just try to live with it, until Rachel made that oh so important decision for her.

The red-head fell onto the floor then, putting her hands behind her head and staring into the ceiling. "I don't suppose you wanna fuck before you go?" she questioned, her pink tongue slipping out and wetting her dry lips.

Quinn looked down at her; saw everything she'd liked when she first laid eyes on Jessica: She saw the hair, her green eyes. The way her beautiful features went so well with her strong body. She even loved the piercings and the tattoos. Everything was downright delicious, and the blonde was still attracted to her – she'd most likely continue to be so throughout their friendship – but she didn't have a desire to sleep with her; not when she'd shared that kiss with Rachel, not when there (no matter what she told herself) was a blossoming hope inside of her for something more with the brunette singer. So she couldn't sleep with Jessica, not anymore. It wouldn't feel right.

"I don't think..." Quinn softly begun with an apologetic smile, "that we should do that anymore."

"Oh man." Jessica mumbled and locked her eyes to Quinn's, "I'm sad about that. You're a fucking hot lay, Quinn Fabray."

The blonde could feel a small blush rise up on her cheeks, and she replied, "So are you, Jess. At this moment, the best I ever had."

And even though that was true, Quinn couldn't help but feel sure, that if she went there with Rachel – and fuck, she hoped she did – Rachel would top everyone else. If their kiss had been any indication at all, Quinn would feel the fireworks all the way into her fingertips.

**-Faberry-**

She was just packing her duffel bag to make a quick exit and go home, when she heard someone chanting her name nearby.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!"

Her ears peeked and she turned around to take a look, but she couldn't find the person among all of her co-workers. She was sweaty and gross, they'd been dancing all day, and she just wanted to go home and crash on the couch until Nick came home and she had to cook dinner and pretend that everything was okay.

She ran a hand across her forehead and tried to zip the bag, when she thought that the chanting had finished, since no one approached her. She paused though, when suddenly it picked up again – only now it was getting closer.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rach, Rach, Rachy, Rachy, Rach..."

Turning around on her heel, Rachel was ready to blow her top off and yell for someone to stop calling her name, but she stopped herself, when she came face to face with a brilliantly smiling Brittany.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!" she sang and pushed her sweaty blonde braid across her shoulder, "I was singing your name to myself, because I had to remember who it was that I wanted to see." she shook her head and grinned, "I sometimes forget everything with all that dancing!"

Rachel slung her duffel bag over her shoulder and replied, "Oh yeah, Brittany. All that dancing can definitely make your brain into mush."

"Mush?" Brittany continued with a confused look. "I hope there's no mush in my brain. San and I sometimes put it on our faces, but that's only because it helps the skin." she explained.

The diva couldn't hide the smile that came to her face then; trust Brittany to cheer her up in just a few seconds. "I do that too sometimes." she replied.

The blonde woman just nodded excitedly. "It's really good!"

"So," Rachel shifted awkwardly on her feet and tried to be patient. She was happy to see Brittany now – they hadn't had time to talk earlier, because the entire cast had been dancing since early this morning – but she didn't really feel like spending all her time here right now; she could hear the sofa calling her name, and she had to get home before Nick if she wanted to nap. And she really did. "what did you want from me, Brittany?"

It looked like a light went on inside the blonde's head. "Oh! Yeah!" she said and eagerly continued, "I wanted to talk to you, Rach, because of Quinn. So will you please come with me home and have dinner now?"

Rachel shifted on her feet again; she didn't want to let Brittany down, but as soon as she heard that it was about Quinn, she felt that it couldn't be good. How could it? Quinn probably told them how she ran out on her, and now Santana was waiting in their apartment, ready to beat her with a baseball bat. "About... Quinn?"

Brittany nodded. "Mhm-hmm. She's super sad, Rachel." the blonde explained as a matter of fact, "She told us that you guys kissed, but she sounded sad, and I know it's not good, because you have Nick, and he's super nice!" she made a thinking-face and folded her hands behind her back, "So San is really mad at you, but I don't think it's all your fault, so I want to know what you're feeling."

"You do?" Rachel breathlessly asked, and she had to agree, that it was a nice feeling to have someone who wanted to hear her side of the story. She'd told Kurt, of course, she told him everything, but he'd been very disappointed in her, and told her that he could see her dilemma, but he didn't want to be a part of it, if she was going to mess with Quinn's heart. Rachel understood that; Kurt cared about Quinn so it was going to put him in quite the dilemma to know more. Perhaps it was a good thing to talk to Brittany tonight? Maybe it'd help her get all of her feelings out, so it didn't feel like she was going to burst at any moment. Maybe if she talked it over with someone, she'd be able to sleep better, to look Nick in the eye, even just function properly.

"Santana is out with Quinn tonight." Brittany explained, "So if you come with me, we can eat at our apartment. We have to go there, the twins are with the sitter, and she can't sit anymore."

Rachel thought that this was the perfect opportunity, and she was going to grab it. "Sure!" she eagerly said, clutching the strap of her bag and smiling eagerly, "Let's get going, I'll text Nick on the way."

Brittany happily clapped her hands together. "Yay! I'll grab my bag and we can find some dinner on the way." she said, before she turned on her heel and rushed towards the other end of the room.

Rachel had a feeling that tonight was going to be a good night – she needed this, she really felt like she did. And most importantly – she thought that she deserved to be listened to.

They were at Brittany and Santana's apartment about thirty minutes later. They'd found a Thai place on the way and brought some different kind of things, and now they'd just said goodbye to the babysitter, and were settling down in front of the TV. Rebecca was sitting happily in her chair, splashing her food everywhere, and Brittany had Rico in her lap and was trying to feed him – without much success, but it looked cute. Rachel was sitting with her feet up in the sofa, eating out of a vegan box, and watching Brittany interact with her kids. It looked so amazing; the kind of relationship they had, the loved they shared. Rachel didn't think so much about kids, or at least she hadn't used to, but now that Nick was pressuring her to start a family – which, admittedly, was the next natural step in their life together – she'd thought more about kids than ever before.

"He's a really messy eater!" Brittany suddenly said then, and turned to look at Rachel with a bright smile. She had some of Rico's baby-food on her t-shirt, but Rachel didn't want to say anything. "Can you hand me one of those boxes?"

Rachel grabbed a random box from the table and stuck a fork in it, before she handed it to Brittany. She watched, as the blonde woman placed it on the arm of the chair and let it balance there, as she held Rico in one arm and ate her own food with the other.

Brittany swallowed with a bright smile. "So now you're telling me, Rachel, why did you ran out on Quinn? She sounded super sad when she called us. I don't know how she is now, but then, she was really sad, and San was really, really super very angry."

The diva shifted slightly on the couch and placed her box of food in her lap. "Well Brittany, I ran because I have Nick. I can't kiss Quinn when I have Nick. You know that."

"I do know that." Brittany nodded seriously. "So you ran because you don't want to hurt him."

"That is true." Rachel replied and stuck her fork into her box. She moved the food around for a little bit with it, before she continued, in a low whisper, "It doesn't mean that I didn't want to kiss Quinn. I just means that I can't."

"Because of Nick?" Brittany stated again, just to clarify. She waited for Rachel to reply with a nod, before she hurriedly continued, "I understand that so well, Rach, that's like when I see a hot girl that I want to kiss, but I only kiss San, because we're married and we have the kids."

Rachel brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. "It's sort of like that..." she softly begun, because it was almost like that, but then again, not really at all. Because she actually did care about Quinn, she wasn't just some random woman that Rachel had met one night in a bar. She was this person that Rachel had actual feelings for, who meant so much to her. And that made all the difference.

Brittany stuck a forkful of food into her mouth and chewed loudly. "So you can't kiss Quinn because of Nick." she stated once more, just to be sure she had gotten it right. Rico was looking up at her with wide brown eyes, curiously watching her every move. "But you do want to kiss Quinn. But you left because it's not right. Because of Nick?"

"Because of Nick." Rachel confirmed once more.

"So get rid of Nick." Brittany easily suggested then, nodding her head up and down.

Rebecca made a gurgling sound from her chair, and splashed some of her food around.

Rachel almost choked on her food. "I can't get rid of Nick. We're married!" she quickly said then. Sure, if things were as easy as that, it'd be no trouble, but they weren't. She cared about Nick, he was the guy she loved, but then there was Quinn... Quinn with her perfect hair and perfect eyes and perfect skin; that adorable voice, and sarcastic humour and the way she sort of made Rachel's heart speed up.

Brittany sighed heavily. "But it's like this, and you can't have both of them."

That was true. "Which means I should just stay with Nick, because otherwise everyone else will get hurt."

The blonde girl looked confused. "But won't you and _Quinn_ get hurt if you do stay with him?"

Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "Quinn knows I'm with him, she knows how I feel." she explained, digging into her food again, and trying to justify everything – she wasn't sure if it was for her own sake or Brittany's, "I can't stop myself from caring about Quinn the way I do, but I can stop myself from kissing her."

"But why would you do that?" Brittany asked, "Kissing is fun! You shouldn't have to _not_ kiss Quinn if that's what you want to do. You'll only end up sad. And Quinn will end up sad."

Rachel sighed. "I appreciate your opinion, Brittany, but it's not just my feelings at stake here. It's more than just that." she softly tried to explain. She had the desire to kiss Quinn; she'd had it for a very long time, but she couldn't just give in to it. There were other people involved, so many other people. And she didn't want to hurt Quinn by kissing her at night, then running home to Nick afterwards.

Brittany nodded. "Sure. Quinn's feelings are at steak, too. I don't really get how that happens, I don't know, does she eat them?" she shook her head to herself and looked down at Rico, "Anyway. For me it's like, either you hurt Quinn or you hurt Nick. You definitely hurt yourself. So maybe you should think who you'd rather be hurt with. Nick or Quinn?"

"That..." Rachel swallowed loudly and placed her Thai box on the table as she licked her lips and looked at Brittany. "...actually makes perfect sense. Thank you, Brittany." she finished. Rachel was so confused about Brittany sometimes, just like she'd been in high school whenever Brittany spoke; the blonde woman could make such odd comments and mix up words, like she'd just done with 'stake' and 'steak', but then she could say something else, make such an observation, be so perceptive, that it was ridiculous. It was as if she could find the only simple explanation to everything.

Brittany laughed excitedly. "You're welcome, Rachel!" she bobbed her knee up and down to keep Rico occupied. "Did you wanna help me with something? I think Rebecca is just done eating, so do you want to change her for me and get her in her rompers? These two are going to sleep soon!" she said the last part in her baby-voice and made a face at Rico.

Rachel turned to look at the young girl with wide eyes. Did Brittany really just ask her to _change the baby_? Was the blonde woman out of her mind or something? She couldn't change a baby! She'd never even really had to before! She hadn't even been associated with babies – how was she going to hold them, even get their tiny little arms into the tiny little rompers? That was just insane!

"It's so easy." Brittany explained to her, hitting the nail right on the head when she assumed that Rachel was worried about having to change her, "I can do it, Rachel. Just carry her into the babies' room and change her. I'll just feed Rico and get him ready for bed." she smiled warmly at the diva with a supportive smile. "I know you can do it. I believe in you."

With Brittany's supportive smile and the fact that the blonde girl didn't doubt her abilities, Rachel decided to give it a shot. She was not at all comfortable with this sudden challenge, but she was Rachel Barbra Berry, and she never said no to a challenge. Whether it was something in showbiz or simply changing a baby. She stood up from the couch with determination and turned to get Rebecca out of the chair.

She lifted the girl carefully up into her arms and offered Brittany a smile, before she turned down the hallway to find the babies' room. She stuck her head into one bedroom, but realised that it was Santana and Brittany's, so she continued to the next one, and that was definitely the babies' room, because it was covered in baby blue and pink, and there were two white cribs and baby things everywhere. Rachel felt herself be awed by all the cuteness, and turned to the changing table and placed Rebecca there.

"Let's get you changed, okay baby girl?" she whispered, and was surprised of herself, when she realised that she was doing her baby-voice too. She had never thought of herself as a woman who'd be like this, but seeing all these things, spending time with the twins, she realised that her uterus was definitely telling her to get a baby of her own someday. There was this urge inside of her, and she hadn't realised it before because she'd been so focused on her career, but right now – looking into Rebecca's brown eyes – she felt it. She wanted this, too. She wanted a family, just like Brittany and Santana's.

Rebecca was making cute sounds and murmurs as she laid there on the changing table and let Rachel change her without any fuss. She was watching her with curious eyes, studying her, and Rachel thought that it was so adorable. Of course it would be strange for such a young child to suddenly be with someone that she didn't know, seeing as Rachel had only spent time with her a few times before, but she took it like a real trooper. Rachel had heard that kids could be crying a lot and be difficult to handle, but so far Rico and Rebecca had been the kindest children she'd ever seen.

Just then, Rico started crying loudly in the living room. Rachel couldn't hide her smile. _Spoke too soon._ She reached over and closed the door soundlessly, just so Rico's crying wasn't going to upset Rebecca and make her cry too. She made a little angry face and started whimpering though, so Rachel did the most natural thing that occurred to her; she starting humming slightly, only to sing to the girl.

"_Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart. Never to part, baby of mine_..." she sang softly, and she could feel this little pool of happiness in her stomach, when Rebecca sort of stopped whimpering and held still to listen closely.

"_Little one, when you play. Don't you mind what they say. Let your eyes sparkle and shine. Never a tear, baby of mine_..." Rachel continued to softly sing, looking down at the beautiful little creature beneath her. She slowly placed a clean diaper beneath her tiny body and powdered her and everything, just like she knew she was supposed to, before closing the diaper and carefully stroking the girl's hair.

"_If they knew all about you. They'd end up loving you, too. All those same people who scold you. What they'd give just for the right to hold you..._" she picked up the little girl, she simply couldn't help herself, and pressed her tiny body against her chest, their cheeks pressed against each other, as she sang softly. She was amazed; amazed with the feeling of a small, warm body against her own, she could feel Rebecca so closely, and honestly, she'd never felt anything more incredible than this little girl, who was so comfortable in her arms.

"_From your head to your toes. You're so sweet, goodness knows. You are so precious to me. Cute as can be, baby of mine._.." her voice softly faded into hums instead of words, and as she bent over to lay Rebecca on the changing table again, she was surprised to find tears rolling down her cheeks and landing on the table beneath her.

Fumbling for something clean for Rebecca to wear, Rachel quickly dried her cheeks off with the back of her hand, and told herself not to think too much about the strong reaction she'd just had. She supposed that it was somewhat normal considering everything, yet it was a surprisingly strong reaction to holding a baby girl. She picked a white romper with gold stars out of the drawer and smiled, because that was exactly what she would have brought for the girl, if she could have chosen.

_You're aunt Rachel's favourite girl, aren't you? I'm going to spoil you rotten! _Rachel told herself in her thoughts, before she realised that she was thinking things she shouldn't. She wasn't anyone's aunt Rachel, and she was probably never going to_ be_ anyone's aunt Rachel. Because she didn't have any siblings, and neither did Nick. Of course she could be aunt Rachel to Kurt and Blaine's kids if they ever had any, but... She felt such a desire to be Rebecca's aunt Rachel. "Because you're such an amazing little girl, aren't you?" she whispered, and carefully started slipping Rebecca into the romper.

Once she was dressed and every button was buttoned, Rachel picked her up again. She placed a lingering kiss on her black head of hair as she picked her up and rested her against her chest. "Let's go find your Momma B, okay?" she whispered soothingly into her ear, even though Rebecca was not crying at all, but actually looking very comfortable.

Opening the door to get back into the living room, Rachel paused when she heard the distinct sound of Santana's voice coming from the living room. She was talking to Brittany about something, but she didn't sound angry. Rachel suspected that she must not know that she was there, changing their daughter, because if that had been the case, all hell would already have broken loose. She didn't want to face Santana, at all actually, because she was pretty sure that she was going to get a severe ass-kicking, but there was pretty much no getting out of it. She was stuck inside their apartment, and unless she wanted to leave baby Rebecca alone on the changing table and crawl out of their fifth-floor window, she just had to step into the living room and face the inevitable riot.

"Let's do this, Sweetie." she whispered into Rebecca's hair, just as she stepped into the hallway and started walking towards the living room. She took a deep breath and turned the corner, and as soon as she did, Brittany and Santana stopped talking; Brittany smiling happily, and Santana caught completely by surprise. There was quiet in the room then, as the three of them looked at each other.

"Rebecca!" Brittany happily said and stepped over the Ottoman to grab the baby.

Rachel carefully handed her over, one eye on the baby, and one eye on Santana, who was getting more and more red in the face, as her eyes got wider, "There you go, Brittany. All changed and ready for bed." Rachel murmured.

"_What_!" Santana said then, almost bursting out of her own skin as she glared at first Brittany, then Rachel again, "Is she doing here, Brittany? _What are you doing here_?" she hissed in a quiet yell.

Brittany softly swayed from side to side with Rebecca in her arms. "I invited her here, silly. And don't yell, San, Rico is sleeping."

Santana's eyes were shooting lightnings, "You can't be here!" she hissed then, taking a step closer to Rachel and pointing her finger at her, "You can't be here, Berry, I don't care if Britts invited you. I _don't_ want you in my house, and I most fucking certainly _do not _want you around my kids!"

Rachel took a step back, feeling very afraid of what Santana might do to her, if she didn't get out of this apartment quickly. "I'm sorry, but Brittany and I were just eating."

"Don't apologise to her, Rachel," Brittany softly replied, still swaying from side to side, "I invited you. San's not the boss of me."

Turning to look at Brittany, Santana continued, "You can hang out with her if you want, Brittany, but _not_ right now," she nodded her head casually towards the other end of the room and continued, with a saying look, "_if you know what I mean_."

Brittany looked confused for a few seconds as her blue eyes flickered from side to side as she thought things over, and Rachel just stared at the married couple, completely confused as well, about what they could be referring to. She had no idea what Santana was trying to imply, but apparently Brittany was supposed to know, and everything was sort of weird right now. So was the tension between the three of them in this room.

There was an awkward silence, and Santana was glaring at her again, her hands in her sides, and Brittany was thinking, still holding Rebecca, and Rachel herself was contemplating whether or not she should just grab her duffel bag and leave.

And that was the exact time when there was a flush from the bathroom and the lock was turned, and out stepped... _Quinn_.

The blonde woman froze in the doorway, a hand on the door-handle and a surprised look on her face, and suddenly Santana's urgency to get her out of the door was making a lot more sense to the diva. Rachel herself... wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready to face Quinn, most certainly not with Santana and Brittany right there. She needed more time, she needed to think, she didn't need... to _see_ Quinn right now.

Although admittedly, what she was seeing was so gorgeous and beautiful in that jacket and those jeans and with that pair of worn Converse shoes.

"Quinn..." she breathed out, completely stunned.

And a light seemed to flicker on inside Brittany's head, "_Oh_! Because Quinn's here!" she shook her head, "Silly me. Come on, Sannie, let's just get Rebecca to bed and leave Quinn and Rachel alone." she reached a hand out and grabbed Santana's arm determinedly, before she dragged her out of the living room.

Taking a step closer, Quinn stood behind the couch with her hands on the back of it. "What are you doing here?" she softly questioned, and her eyes were flickering back and forth, like she was trying to take the entire situation in.

Rachel lifted her hand and pointed her thumb towards the hallway. "I was just... I mean, Brittany and I had dinner, and I... I was getting Rebecca ready for bed." she dropped her hand to hang limply by her side again and bit her lip. She was nervous. She was so, so nervous. She could feel her heart beat like crazy inside her chest, and she was getting chills all over her body. She couldn't comprehend this right now. She had this incredible urge to just run across the floor, jump over the couch, and kiss Quinn again.

The other woman was so beautiful. Rachel loved everything about her, truly everything. She loved her blonde hair, how it was so thick and luscious, she loved her hazel eyes and the way they could be so cold and hard one minute, then loving and warm the next. She loved her body; it was so strong and lean, yet it was warm and soft at the same time. She always felt like hugging it, cuddling her, holding her close and feeling her heart so close to her own. Why was Quinn so incredible? Why was she so so beautiful, and fantastic and sweet and smart and – and _sexy_?

Rachel could barely handle it right now.

"I was out with Santana." Quinn softly replied then.

Rachel nodded. She didn't know what to do or say. She didn't know how to explain to Quinn what had happened the other night, because she didn't even know it herself. She had to say something, apologise maybe, or at least try to. But she couldn't gather one thought in her head, she couldn't form a sentence.

All she could think about was... kissing Quinn again.

"I really want to kiss you right now." she blurted out in a whisper, because that was the only thing she could comprehend in her mind right now. The only thought that was remotely standing out among all the others.

A soft smile appeared on Quinn's face and she shyly brushed a piece of her short hair out of her eyes. "Really?"

Rachel breathed out unsteadily and took a step closer. "All I've been thinking about is you. I can't stop it."

Quinn smiled at her, and tilted her head to the side. "I can't stop thinking about you either." she paused, thinking, before she added, "That was an amazing kiss."

"It was." Rachel agreed, swallowing that lump in her throat.

"But this isn't good." Quinn whispered then, shaking her head softly, "This is far from good, Rachel. I think about you _all the time_, but..." she swallowed too, breathing out, "We can't do this, and we both know it."

Rachel nodded. She couldn't quite place the feeling inside of her chest right now, because there were so many conflicting emotions, she couldn't handle them all at once. All she knew was that she felt sadness, disappointment... anger and worry. Relief. She wasn't quite able to read herself, but the overall thought that was streaming through her head was: _I am never going to kiss you again. _

Quinn nodded too. "We should work on being just friends. I mean – it's inevitable, we'll see each other again. So let's focus on that. Okay?"

Rachel heard herself agree in a soft voice, even though she was nowhere near on the same page. She knew that Quinn was right about everything; that it was true, what she was saying, because they couldn't do this. She'd even come to that conclusion herself when she'd been thinking things over, and it had seemed so easy, when she was alone and not looking directly at Quinn, but now that the other woman was right in front of her... it seemed a lot more difficult than first anticipated. "Okay..." she whispered.

"Okay." Quinn agreed again.

Rachel turned around and grabbed her duffel bag from the floor, sort of confused and feeling all over the place suddenly. She knew she had to leave right now, she couldn't face Quinn another second, not like this. She felt everything welling up inside of her, and she just needed air, she needed to breathe properly. She slung the bag over her shoulder and gave Quinn a short glance, not wanting to meet her eyes. "I'm just going to... to go." she said, and before she had time to say anything else, she was out of the door.

She ran past the elevator, straight for the flight of stairs, as she heard the door smack close behind her. She knew she had been rude, not saying goodbye to Brittany after the lovely night they'd had, but she couldn't stay in that apartment for another second. She ran down from the fifth floor, taking the steps two at a time, and as soon as she was outside, she breathed in the fresh night air and leaned her back against the brick wall.

She bit her lip, trying desperately to hold back the tears, but just like earlier, she had them falling before she could even stop them. And this time they weren't just tiny drops rolling down her cheeks, no, this time she was full-on weeping on a public sidewalk. She wanted to stop, to not seem like such an idiot in front of all the passing people, but she couldn't, all she could do was pray that no one recognized her as the Broadway actress she was.

She was trying to get her heart to stop hurting so much, but it wouldn't. No matter how much she let herself wail right there, it kept on burning inside of her, and it felt like someone was trying to squeeze it tightly until it burst.

Clutching her bag tighter, Rachel turned and started walking quickly towards the subway. She had to go home, she had to go home _now_. This was hurting her way more than it should, and even though she knew that it was the right thing to do, she felt so heartbroken. The worst thing about this – and this was the thing that she really couldn't shake – it was the fact when she'd been changing Rebecca, thinking about kids, imaging her own family... she hadn't pictured it with Nick.

Quinn had been the one standing by her side.

There was something _so_ wrong about that picture.

* * *

><p><em>I am SO sorry about the delay with this chapter. I've just been busy working this past week, and when I finally had time to write, I felt a bit blocked. But today I finally wrote through it, and I actually ended up feeling pretty good about the ending right there. I hope that you enjoyed it, too? Please leave me your thoughts ;-) <em>

_So what does everyone feel about the new episode of Glee? I have so many thoughts on it... I was very impressed with Dianna in this episode, she really was the scene-stealer in my opinion :b Otherwise... I just felt like there was so much implied Faberry and it made me squeal! _

_**Disclaimer; **I do not own Glee. _


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten **

So they were doing that friend thing now.

Quinn wasn't sure exactly how she felt about that, but it was the best solution she had been able to come up with, considering the fact that she'd told herself to give Rachel time and/or space.

It was going okay. Sort of.

It wasn't like they'd spent an awful lot of time together or anything, but they sent each other small text messages about things that happened, just like friends did. Not best friends, who spoke possibly every day, but just regular friends who kept each other updated on their lives. Like, when this one guy from Rachel's show made this ridiculous shape out of his extremely flexible body and Rachel had captured the moment on her cell phone and sent it to Quinn. Or when one of Quinn's patients went crazy inside of her office and the first person she called to laugh at it with was Rachel. That sort of thing.

Like regular, good friends.

Quinn thought that it was okay to be friends with Rachel right now. They'd also gone out to lunch a few times, but never alone. Santana or Brittany had always joined them, which was understandable. It was just to be in the sure about everything, no use tempting themselves by being alone. It was alright, even though the presence of Santana or Brittany wasn't that useful against the fact that all she could think about – whenever she was near the diva – was kissing her. For instance, when they were out for dinner and Rachel started talking a mile a minute (like usually), all Quinn would be able to focus on was her lips.

And they were so soft and pink and big and kissable. It was hard to look away. It would have been hard for anybody, but it was even harder for a Quinn Fabray. Just, you know, making that clear. Quinn really tried to distract herself from the lips, but then her eyes somehow always ended up focusing on the swell of her breasts. And when that became too much, it always happened that her eyes were drawn to her bare legs beneath the table, or perhaps something else entirely.

So actually, now that Quinn was really thinking about it, than friend things was not going okay at all.

Friends weren't supposed to want to jump each other across the table at _Starbucks_, were they?

No, Quinn didn't think so either.

Actually, she was going out of her mind. She'd really given that friend thing a shot these past few weeks; she'd really worked so hard, with everything she had, to just let Rachel be another one of her acquaintances. But it just wasn't possible, apparently. Rachel was never going to be just another one of Quinn's friends. The blonde cared too much about her to make it happen. There was simply no way it was possible.

She couldn't stop thinking about the diva. She kept going over their kiss in her mind, trying to remember the way it had made her feel; how goosebumps had risen on her skin and made her feel things on the inside that she hadn't felt for a very long time. It shouldn't be possible for one kiss to make her feel so – so – so loved and incredible and wanted, but. It really did. Rachel just made her feel things that no one else had ever done. It was scary, and Quinn had no idea how she was ever going to be able to be just friends with Rachel. Actually, she had no idea how she was ever going to get over her and feel such things for someone else.

So now she was on her way to see Kurt. She'd decided to talk to him – out of anybody – because his opinion would just be different, and he knew Rachel better than anyone else on the planet. She wasn't sure what she expected to get out of their coffee date, but she just needed to talk to someone who wasn't Brittany and Santana, or Jessica. Or even her mother, who hadn't gotten any name, but immediately guessed that there was someone special in Quinn's life. But Kurt though. He'd listen to her, he'd know what to do. And if she didn't get anything out of it, perhaps he'd just 'accidentally' spill the story to Rachel, which would give the diva something to think about. Hopefully.

Stepping into the small café that she and Kurt had agreed to meet at, she glanced around the room to see if she could spot him. It was around eight pm, so there were still a lot of people out, but the café wasn't as crowded as it could have been. She caught side of him almost immediately. He smiled brightly at her and waved her off, holding up two coffees, one in each hand, which indicated that he'd already ordered for her.

She zigzagged through the different tables and took her seat in front of him. "Hi Kurt!" she brightly smiled and shrugged off her blazer and placed her purse on the table next to her. She gladly accepted the coffee he gave her.

"Wonderful evening, isn't it?" Kurt replied back with a little wink, before he sipped the coffee out of his paper-cup and leaned back in his seat. "So tell me, Quinn Fabray, how have you been lately?"

Quinn gave him a once-over, immediately understanding that Rachel had been frank with him about what had happened between the two of them. Which was fine with her, because that just made it so much easier to really talk about it. "Not so good." she replied, taking a sip of her coffee as well. "I assume Rachel told you everything?" he gave her a slight nod, "That friend-thing is not working out so well for me."

Kurt gave her a sideways smile. "No I would imagine that that's not possible." he shook his head to himself. "I know possibly every detail, Rachel shares everything with me. I can't say I care much for the fact that she cheated on Nick – he's such a wonderful man – but I am rooting for you, Quinn, to get what_ you _want." he paused and looked at her again, seriously, "So tell me, honestly," he added slowly, "_do_ you want her?"

The answer slipped past Quinn's lips before she had even had time to think about it, "Yes."

He leaned his head back a bit more and watched her in surprise. "Very well." he murmured, thoughtfully, "I should tell you that I have on good authority that Rachel isn't her usual chipper self these days. Nick told me."

Quinn swallowed loudly. "Is she acting strange? How?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "He says that she's just different. He can't quite put his finger on what it is, but it's like she's different. You guys only kissed, right?"

Quinn nodded quickly.

"Alright," he said, "she's having a very strong reaction to just a kiss."

"But you know Rachel," Quinn butted in quickly then, with a raised eyebrow and a beating heart, "honesty is everything to her. I don't think I've ever met a person who was more honest than her."

Kurt nodded in agreement. "That is true. Divalicious does have difficulties lying to people. Which, I suspect, is what's troubling her right now with Nick."

Quinn sighed heavily. She hated it when Nick was brought up, and Kurt kept mentioning him. Which was understandable, really, since they were talking about Rachel, and he was her husband. But she hated it anyway. Not because she specifically hated Nick, but because she hated that he was married to Rachel. Nick was a great guy, it was just so annoying that he was Rachel's great guy. "I don't want to hurt, Nick." she told Kurt then, with her hands around her hot coffee, warming them, "But it's so hard, because I can't stop thinking about her. It's getting to the point where I almost can't... _be_ around her."

Nodding in understanding, Kurt swept some of his golden locks off his forehead and watched her carefully. "I understand. Rachel has told me the real reason she split with you in college, so I know that there's some feelings on her side, too." he breathed slowly in, "But... I don't want you to get hurt, so I feel like I have to say that I don't think she's going to leave him. She simply can't."

The blonde woman nodded her head; she knew that Rachel wasn't going to leave Nick, not like that. They were happily married, and hadn't Quinn returned into their lives again, they would still be together without any troubles. But the thing was, she was back in their lives, which was what made all the difference. Because if Rachel didn't get this under control, she wouldn't be able to continue to just be with Nick. A person can only handle so many feelings in a short while, some day it was all going to blow up.

"I understand." Quinn told him, a sad smile finding its way onto her face, "I just – I don't think it's possible for us to just be friends. I feel like I can't just be her friend, and no matter what she says, I know that Rachel can't handle her emotions either. It's just dangerous, that's all I'm saying."

"Oh Sweetie," Kurt nodded in agreement, his pink lips forming themselves into a sneaky smile, "I think we're all aware of how very dangerous this is. Even Rachel. Which is why she's trying so hard to make it not happen." he shrugged his shoulders and took a very long sip of his coffee. "There is no easy way out of it; to me it seems like it's going to end badly for either you or Nick. And I'm sorry, Quinn, but it seems to me as if it's most likely you who's going to get your heart broken."

Quinn could see why he would say that; why he would think that Rachel was never going to leave Nick, and eventually Quinn would end up in the cold. She couldn't explain why, but she just had this feeling that things weren't over for her yet; at least she was going to pretend that they weren't and keep fighting. She didn't want to give up; she was tired of accepting that she was never going to be truly happy. And Rachel was who she wanted; so she'd fight for her. Of course she felt bad for wanting to move in on another person's wife, but she used to do this all the time in high school; split up couples. Of course she'd like to think that she'd changed for the better since then, but this was an exception. She had to try, otherwise she'd never forgive herself. She was going to keep being Quinn and hopefully Rachel would see that they were supposed to be.

"Ah I don't know," she smiled at Kurt, and for the first time in a few weeks, she felt contend about this, about her life and her situation with Rachel, "things can change Kurt. And Rachel was never the person to settle for anything. If she finds out that it's me she wants... She's not going to let me go."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You're suddenly suspiciously happy about this." he gave her a nod of impression and continued, "I like it. Never settle, Ms. Fabray, never do." he paused, "I can't very well imagine how all of this is going to turn out, but I like that you're keeping your hope up. I never really was sure about Rachel being entirely straight." he winked at her.

The blonde woman couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't know, Kurt, I know what I want to happen, it's just that... while I'm waiting for it to happen, I have all of these feelings inside my head, and I can't seem to get them out. I wish I could just... find a way to. I mean, I work out my anger with Nick on the punching bag at the gym, but it's just_ not_ satisfactory enough."

He laughed too, then, his giggles coming out like bells chiming in the wind. "It's funny you should mention that. Rachel moaned about the exact same problem to me the other day." he leaned closer to her over the table, rising his finger and ordering her to come closer as well, "I told her to start writing, just like she did in high school."

Quinn stared at him. "I miss Glee." she mumbled.

"Exactly like Glee Club." Kurt smiled warmly at her, "If we were back in that high school choir room right now, you would have both sung out your feelings in a heartfelt ballad." he sighed. "Unfortunately we're not, we're grown ups in New York City, and I think that's a shame, because I, for one, would have_ loved_ to hear Rachel break into the chorus of _Didn't We Almost Have It All? _with you backing her up in your soft, delicate voice." he paused and gave her a tentative smile, "I think every Gleek would have enjoyed that immensely."

She couldn't help it; she kicked him gently under the table, just because he was mocking them.

"Hey!" he jokingly glared at her, but reached down to brush off the pants anyway, "Watch the pants, they're from a certain mister Klein, first name Calvin."

Quinn rolled her eyes at him. "We would have rocked that song." she said, before she reached for her coffee and took a long sip, without meeting her eyes.

Kurt followed her motion and said, "Sure you would. Rachel knocks everything out of the park. That's why she's _on Broadway_." he sang the last part out and wriggled his eyebrows at her.

The blonde woman couldn't help but break into a small laugh, and as Kurt continued to chat on about him and Blaine, and how they'd had an argument about the design in the living room, she sort of also had Kurt's voice in the back of her mind, reminding her of how things used to be back in Ohio. He was right; if they had been 16 again, she would have found a song that expressed her feelings perfectly and performed it in Glee. It had always been the perfect therapy for her; like when she was pregnant and she sang _It's a Man's Man's Man's World – _her punching bag would never even measure up as anger-outlet to that performance.

Perhaps that was something she should consider. Of course they weren't back in Glee Club again, but there were plenty of other ways to sing out her feelings... Perhaps it was time to take the entire gang out for a night of Karaoke?

**-Faberry- **

She really missed Glee.

Of course it hadn't always been a walk in the park for her, but there had been plenty of good times, especially near the end. In the beginning everyone had always been mocking her and letting her down, just because she was the most talented person inside that room. And she didn't think this, now, in a superior way like she'd always done in high school; she thought it now because she knew it was the truth. She was the one who'd made something of herself after high school. Of course there was still time, but Mercedes was a dentist like her father and living happily with Sam in Lima. Kurt was in the city, but he hadn't caught his break yet. Rachel was sure that he would though, it was just that there weren't a lot of parts out there for a guy like him.

Mike and Brittany were dancing so that was always something. But most of the old Gleeks just had regular jobs. And there wasn't anything wrong with that, as far as Rachel had heard, they were all perfectly happy with were they were. She was just, you know, thinking about this because they used to hate her for her talent, and especially her drive to be the best – but that was what had gotten her to where she was today; because she'd wanted it more than them, she'd wanted it badly. Which ended up proving her right.

But she did miss the others. Not how they were at first, but how they ended up being. When she, Rachel Berry, were friends with everyone inside that room, even Mercedes and Santana, and Quinn, of course.

_Don't think about Quinn, don't think about Quinn, don't think about Quinn! Think about Glee Club! Think about the wonderful time you had inside that choir room... _

The problem was just – that when she thought about Glee Club and the good days she had, most of them aligned with Quinn and how close they'd been during senior year. There was no denying that. Which brought her right back to her problem, in a sick cycle kind of way, because she missed Glee for the good times they had, yes, but most definitely for the fact that she'd always been able to sing out her feelings for her friends.

They'd hated her for it, a lot of the time, because she always took the floor, with no exceptions, and perhaps she had made it a lot about her, but singing was the only outlet she'd had. It still was, really. She could talk about things, sit down to discuss them, but when she really wanted therapy, she did it through song. And she missed that; she missed feeling an emotion and then finding the perfect song to express it, only to perform the song the next day for a small audience of the most important people in her life.

Of course there was still plenty of singing in her life; her voice was her job, how could there not be? But it wasn't always the same. She loved her job, and she could always find the emotions inside of her to express the song and catch the audience in a trance, but it wasn't always that the emotions she had to portray were the emotions she felt. She never disappointed anyone, but the music didn't always fit. As Sophie in_ Mamma Mia!_ there was a lot of upbeat dancing music, and mostly she had to sing happy songs; now in _West Side Story_, there were good times and bad times, and a lot of heartbreak. But there wasn't a song that fitted her mood these days; there was no outlet. And though she could find a perfect fit in her extensive library of music, she could always rehearse it, but never find a way to perform it.

Which was why Kurt's idea of writing the lyrics herself made much more sense. She used to do it all the time in high school, after she'd finally found that thing in herself, the place she had to go to. Of course her first tries had been horrendous, she still cringed when she thought of _Only Child _and _My Headband, _but they had helped her to get where she was today. And that was why she was now giving it another shot; she was going to try to write some lyrics, because above everything else, that was true and perfect therapy for her.

No one was probably ever going to hear them, but just the fact that she'd written them herself was the point of everything. And who knew, maybe someone would hear them someday. She'd also always had a desire to release a solo album and not just a soundtrack, and wouldn't it be wonderful if she'd written the songs on that album, and someone else hadn't?

She'd been dabbling with these lyrics for a while now, and her piano had been a great help accompanying her. Of course Rome wasn't built in a day, but she already felt a little bit better as she tried to express what was going on inside of her.

The front door opened outside in the hallway, and she knew that Nick was home, now. She bent her head and ran her fingers over the keys, trying to make it seem like she was very busy, so maybe he wouldn't distract her. She had troubles dealing with him at the moment; actually, at all the moments since she and Quinn kissed. She wasn't supposed to think about it, she was supposed to forget it and just go on, but she couldn't. Which was why, she knew, she acted strange around Nick most of the time. And he was an idiot if he hadn't noticed it.

"I thought I heard music." he said, as he stuck his head into the music room and looked lovingly at her.

She barely glanced up at him, but kept running her fingers over the keys to try out her new melody, "Yes. I'm trying to write."

He broke into a huge smile and stepped closer, "Your own lyrics? Can I see?"

Rachel scrambled to close her notebook, and she managed to drop it on the floor and pick it up again, only to tug it beneath her butt so he wouldn't see it. She gave him an innocent smile. Of course he'd want to see; his livelihood was his writing, so he'd probably want to take a look, but she didn't want him to see, because one; it wasn't done, and two; it was about Quinn. She cleared her throat. "It's not – it's not done yet..." she trailed off, "I only show things that are done."

Nick nodded slightly and leaned himself against the piano; she hated the hurt look on his face. "Alright." he said, "I'd like to – to see what you're doing. I mean, I was educated in this. Perhaps I could help, Sweetie?"

She brushed a piece of her astray hair behind her ear and nodded. "I know, and... and you can. I'm just, I'm just brainstorming by now. It's a draft, I mean..." she felt herself flush and turned her head away to look at the keys and not his eyes. "I'll show it when I feel that it's nearly done."

"It's okay, Rach." Nick said and gallantly took a seat next to her on the piano bench, "I get that, you're sensitive about your writing. So am I. It's your innermost thoughts." he placed a gentle hand around her shoulders and she felt herself fall into his embrace, for the first time in a long time actually relaxing as she was this close to him. "There's no pressure, Darling."

"Thank you." she murmured into his armpit, and she was fighting to stay there, because on one hand she felt like she was the right place, that she was calm and perfectly sheltered, but on the other hand... She felt as if she wasn't supposed to be there, like she didn't belong.

He kissed her on the side of the head and loudly breathed in. "Are you writing specifically for something?"

She pulled away slightly and smiled up at him. "I do want to release that album one day..." she trailed off and fingered with the end of his plaid shirt; there was a tiny loose hem there, and she couldn't let it be, "So I thought it'd be more me if I wrote the music myself."

Nick's love for her shone right through his eyes. "You're amazing, Rachel," he said, brushing a finger down her bare arm, "and whatever you're dealing with right now, with the show and everything..." he trailed off, sounding slightly hurt, "We'll get through it, just like we always do. I just miss you."

"I miss you, too." she whispered, before quickly adding, "And it's – it's just so busy with the show and Brittany as a new choreographer. I'm sorry I'm so... so distant." she felt the words slip over her lips easily, and she was surprised at how well she skipped some of the truth. Of course this part was also very well true, but there was more to it. Nick just couldn't know the last part. "How about we take a quiet night tonight? Just you and I... I'll cook?" she suggested, and although there were a thousandth other things she'd rather be doing, she felt it in herself that she needed to spend some time with him. She hated to see him hurt, she hated to see his sad-eyes, especially when she was causing them. So she was going to get through this night; without acting like a complete moron.

A small smile lit up his face completely and he said, "Really? Do you have time?"

She nodded, "I'll make time."

Pressing his lips to hers, he clutched her tightly. "I can't wait." he said, as he pulled back, looking like a little kid on Christmas, "I'm going to the store to buy some of that tofu stuff you like and we'll just..." he stood up from the bench and took a step backwards, "This is going to be great, Rach, I can't wait."

As he turned and hurried out of the room, Rachel was left there, with her heart in her throat. She felt like she needed to do this to him, and also a little bit for herself. But the desire to do it – it wasn't so big.

**-Faberry-**

Normally, Quinn would never go as far as to say that she hated any of her patients, but the next patient – she just looked bad on paper. She was a new patient, and as a 16-year-old girl, it was going to end up being horrible. It would probably be some whiny little kid who had troubles with boys, and who had two rich parents who sent her off to a shrink because they didn't have time to talk to her themselves. That was how most of these teenage girls ended up right in her office.

Of course Quinn shouldn't judge, but Claire Miller appeared – on paper – to be just like that. Of course it didn't say much about her, so she could only wait and see, but Quinn just hated it. She accepted everyone who came to talk to her; she loved listening to other people's problems and giving them advice. She felt like she had a lot to give from, with everything she'd been through herself. Hell, that was why she'd ended up in this field. There was just something about spoiled, good-looking rich kids that annoyed her. Or maybe it just hit too close to him, who knew.

So imagine the blonde's surprise when it wasn't some blonde, Gucci Barbie stepping into her office at three o'clock, but a shy-looking girl with round glasses and two braids down her side. Quinn immediately thought that this might get interesting; this girl might actually have some real issues to discuss, and Quinn couldn't wait to help her figure it out.

"Hi Claire." she softly said and pointed her arm towards the chair in front of her, "Take a seat. I'm Quinn Fabray."

Claire tentatively took a seat in front of Quinn, folding her short skirt nicely beneath her and crossing her legs. She said, "Hi Doctor Fabray, I'm Claire."

Grabbing the yellow file from her desk, Quinn opened it to scan through the few lines on the paper for just one more time. "It says here that you had another therapist before me."

"Yeah." Claire shyly replied.

"So I guess you're used to this and ready to jump right into it?" Quinn softly questioned aloud. With first-timers she wasn't going to dig right into their thoughts, it was a process that came after a few sessions, but for a girl like Claire, who'd obviously tried this before, she was just going to give it a shot and get her to talk.

Claire nodded and pushed her glasses to the back of her nose. "My other therapist wasn't so good. He kept telling me to get over it." she swallowed loudly and brushed some invisible wrinkles out of her skirt, "And he made fun of my fathers." she lowly whispered.

Quinn felt her ears peek. Her fathers? As in _plural_?

Claire's brown eyes met hers then, and they were piercing, "You're not going to make fun of my fathers because they're gay, are you?"

Quinn folded the file together and carefully placed it on her desk again. Folding one leg above the other, she said up straight and smiled warmly at the girl. "Most certainly not, Claire. I usually don't talk about myself, because that's unprofessional, but just to ease your worries," she paused briefly, thinking that it wasn't going to bite her in the ass to tell this girl a bit about herself, "I, myself, am a lesbian. So I love the homosexuals."

The young girl's eyes glistened happily behind her glasses. "Really?" she questioned, "That's so cool."

The blonde nodded. "So tell me a bit about yourself, Claire. Actually, tell me why you're here."

Claire got quiet again, as she thoughtful relaxed back in the comfortable chair. Quinn could see something going on inside that girl's head, and she just had a feeling what this was going to be. Of course she couldn't know for sure, but there was always that one girl... And Quinn feared this might be her.

"I'm being bullied." Claire whispered, not daring to meet Quinn's eyes. "I mean, it's bad enough that I have two fathers, but I'm in marching band too, and I play the trombone." she looked up then, with an apologetic look on her face, "Playing the trombone is not cool. Everyone in marching band gets bullied, but for me it's the worst, 'cuz... 'Cuz of my fathers."

Quinn felt like she'd heard this story before, and she couldn't help but think about what high school must have been like for Rachel; she knew that the diva used to go to therapy too. Of course she had needed it. Who wouldn't have been in need of that with the treatment she'd received? "Do your fathers know about this?" she questioned, but she had a feeling that she already knew answer.

Claire shook her head. "I don't tell them why I get bullied. I don't want to hurt them." she sighed and folded her hands in front of her, on her lap, "They just send me to therapy because they can see I'm not so happy."

"Great parents you have there." Quinn answered, and she sincerely meant it. Some things were just better handled by professionals. And girls like Claire – they were delicate. They could so easily break. Quinn hoped that she might be able to help this girl and make her feel better about herself.

The girl nodded her head eagerly. "I love my parents! They're the best parents a girl could ever want. They encourage me to follow my dreams and never give up."

Quinn recrossed her legs and said, "Do your dreams lie within the music industry?"

Claire nodded again, this time even more eager. "Yes! I've been playing trombone for a very long time, and my teacher says I'm very talented. I hope to make something of myself with that." she licked her lips and continued, "The other kids just don't get me. They think I'm obnoxious and they don't want to be friends with me. It's just... it's just hard, getting through high school like this."

"High school doesn't really matter in the end." Quinn said to her, kindly, "I mean, it's the start, but remember... _just_ the start. If you're really good at the trombone like your teacher says, then who cares about your classmates. You'll end up doing what you like, I'm sure of it."

She looked down again, for a brief second, before she continued, "It sounds great when you say it, Doctor Fabray, but when do dreams really come true? All those stars on TV and in the musicals... It seems so far-fetched that something like that would ever happen to me. I'm just a loser with two gay fathers."

Shaking her head, Quinn wanted to reassure the girl that dreams do happen, that everything is not horrible and that if she could get through high school it would only make her stronger. If she could ignore all the teasing and the people who believed they were better than her, she'd come out, stronger, on top. It might sound cheesy and stupid, but it really was the truth. When someone got picked on and made fun of, they learned to fight. Rachel was a true example of that, and Quinn thought that it was the perfect example to give. Even if she tried to keep business and personal life apart; she just had to help Claire with this. And she was a good girl; she needed it.

"I knew a girl just like you in high school." Quinn said then, smiling warmly at her.

Claire raised an eyebrow. "Just like me? I don't think that's possible, Doctor, I'm one loser of a kind..."

"Oh no no." Quinn continued, a small smile playing across her lips, "She was just like you. But I think, maybe, she had it even worse. See, she had to gay fathers," Quinn begun, and this immediately caught Claire's interest, "and she lived in Lima, Ohio, where homosexuals are not as common and accepted as they are here in New York. She also loved to perform."

The girl urged her on, "Really?"

Quinn nodded, "Mhm," she said, "she had this incredible voice! Really! When she sang, people got goosebumps, people would start crying. So naturally, she was in Glee Club."

Claire nodded, "That makes sense."

"Only Glee Club wasn't cool, so she was made fun of more than anyone."

Claire licked her lips. "But she was talented, right? People shouldn't make fun of someone for using their talents..."

The blonde therapist nodded in agreement. "Do you like Broadway musicals? Have you seen anyone?"

The girl's eyes turned into small slits, as she tried to figure out where this was going. She couldn't though, but she answered nonetheless, "My fathers take me to see a musical every once in a while. The last one we saw was... _Mamma Mia!_" the girl nodded to herself. "That was a good one."

Quinn agreed; that really had been a good one. "You remember the actress who played Sophie? How well she could sing?"

Claire seemed to think it over for a minute or two; she closed her eyes and thought back, and once she had located the memory, she nodded her head. "Yes! She was amazing..." she paused, and when her eyes caught Quinn's, a light seem to dawn on her, "Oh holy shit, you're not saying that-?"

"It's her." Quinn nodded, as the words ghosted over her lips and she tried not to make it too evident that the person they were discussing was the possible love of her life.

"Wow." Claire whispered in awe, "I guess dreams do come true for people like us."

Quinn nodded, "So you should keep fighting." she said, smiling warmly at the young girl; a girl – she just knew – had it tough in school, yet at the same time kept a remarkable good spirit. It was heart-warming to see that even through bullying and perhaps not the easiest childhood, she could still stay strong. And people like her, they were the people that really made it big, because they learned to _never_ give up. "And, I think, one session a month should be enough for us, Claire. Of course you're welcome if you need two. Sometimes it's good to have someone to talk things over with."

Claire smiled at her, "I think maybe... I'd like two." she said.

"So tell me," Quinn said, and she couldn't help but already care about this young charismatic woman, "what is the worst thing someone at your school has done to you? Let's talk it out."

Claire immediately broke into a long story about something that happened a while ago, and Quinn listened carefully and replied correctly to her, all the while she couldn't help but wonder about Rachel. This little meeting with Claire today, it just proved to Quinn how much she really wanted the diva – at any chance she got, she chose to bring her up, like today. And Rachel was such a strong person; she was going to keep fighting for her marriage with Nick, that was certain, because all the bullying in her childhood and teenage-years, it had taught her to never give up.

So Quinn was in for quite a struggle. But now it was her time to not give up, she wasn't going to let the love of her life slip through her fingers – she was going to fight, too. And she was going to give it everything she had.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter – they were much appreciated! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too ;-) It will probably be around two weeks before I'm back with another chapter, because I'm going to have a lot of my plate for next week or so. No time to write with 13-hour workdays. Phew, I'm already tired. <em>

_Anyway! Have a good week ;-) _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

Was she _kidding_ her with this!

How could one person possible look as hot as Quinn was doing right now? Rachel swore, she practically dropped her jaw, _and_ a little drool came out. She'd just been ready for a nice night out with the 'gang' (as Kurt had nick-named them a few days ago, when Quinn's group-text message had ticked in on their phones), but she hadn't thought that she was going to have to deal with a Quinn all dressed in black, looking absolutely incredible.

It was just supposed to be the eight of them, going out for beer at a karaoke bar that Quinn had found, and they were supposed to have fun, get drunk and just sing their hearts out. Rachel had been a bit weary at first, but Nick had thought that it was a good idea, so therefore, there they were, and Quinn was watching Rachel through heavy eyelids, with a burning stare.

The diva felt naked beneath her hazel eyes. She shivered in her thin jacket and wrapped it tighter around herself. Scooting closer to Nick, she crept beneath his armpit and let him warm her body. There was a flicker of something unpleasant on Quinn's face, and the blonde answered back by grabbing Jessica's hand and placing a soft kiss on it.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, and Rachel could see his eyes move from Quinn to herself a few times, before a funny smile played across his lips. She glared at him.

Nick cleared his throat, "Surely they'll be here soon." he murmured into Rachel's hair.

Quinn nodded, "Santana just texted me, they're on the subway." she nodded her head towards the entrance to the bar, where music was streaming out, and happy cheers were to be heard, "We can just go in and find a table though?" she suggested.

"Oh God yes!" Blaine agreed, and he was the first to make his way through the doors and into the bar, quickly followed by Kurt, and then everybody else. Rachel hung on tightly to Nick and smiled up at him; she was determined to make this a good evening, to enjoy being out with her friends for a night of fun – she was convinced that she'd be just like the Rachel Berry she had been in high school, that no one would recognize her in here, and that – when she opened her mouth to sing – people would be awed and tell her that she had a voice that was made for Broadway.

Jessica unzipped her jacket and turned to take a look around the room. "I just love these places who couldn't care less about the public smoking laws." she shrugged her shoulders out of her jacket and Quinn automatically came to her aid by helping her out of it, "Thanks Sweetie." she pecked her cheek quickly and turned to the bar, "Should I start us off with six beers?"

"Kurt? Beer?" Quinn questioned with a a confused look, "You know what, I'll help you." she whispered with her soft voice, and the two turned towards the bar, their fingers somehow finding each other and intertwining.

"Found a table!" Kurt exclaimed, and Rachel quickly turned away from the cute display of affection, to find Kurt and Blaine who were trying to push two tables together so that all of them could sit with one another. The tables they had found were close to the little stage, which was currently empty, but one microphone and the guy behind the keyboard who clearly was in charge of all things musical. Some old Britney Spears song was playing in the background and the lyrics were running across the small flat screen TV. Rachel was liking this place already; it seemed like there was always a lovely atmosphere, and the crowd inside the bar was a lot more coloured than she'd first anticipated. There was the older generation, the usual suspects, but also a young crowd that clearly wasn't here on a regular basis.

She placed her jacket and her scarf over the back of a chair and took a seat on it, "This place is entertaining!" she told Kurt, and even though Jessica and Quinn's couple-ness was annoying her already, she was convinced that it was going to be a good evening. It was going to be even better once Brittany and Santana showed up, because they never ceased to entertain her.

Kurt took a seat across from her and nodded eagerly. "Yes it is! I am so going to knock some show-tunes out of the park tonight." he glanced towards the bar, "I see a Sex on the Beach on the bar right now. I sure hope Quinn got that one for me..." he trailed off with anticipation lacing his every word.

Rachel shook her head at him and turned to glance at Nick and Blaine; they'd taken a seat at the other of their tables, just to make sure to everyone that it was taken. Those two had always gotten along so well together, they'd always had plenty of things to talk about. At the beginning of her relationship with Nick she'd been so thankful for that, because Kurt and Blaine were her best friends, and it was important that her boyfriend fitted right in. He'd also gotten along very well with Quinn back in college when she first met him, but obviously Quinn had taken a distance to him, which, at first, had confused Rachel, but later made so much sense.

Quinn and Jessica came back to their tables, holding five beers and one Sex on the Beach. Kurt squealed in delight and immediately started sucking on his straw. Rachel offered Jessica a thankful smile as the red-head handed her a bottle, but had to hold back her frown when she also took a seat next to her. Quinn opted for the seat on the other side of Jessica, and there she was, stuck with the two of them. Thankfully Kurt was right there too, but who knew if he was going to be of help or the complete opposite.

"I am so excited to hear you sing, Sweetie." Jessica told Quinn with a gentle stroke on her arm, before she grabbed her bottle and took a long sip of it.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "You haven't heard her_ sing_?" she questioned, very much in disbelief. She'd heard Quinn sing plenty of times, perhaps it was just because of Glee Club, but really... the blonde had such a delicate, fine voice. It was a shame to keep it hidden. As Quinn's girlfriend, Jessica should really be familiar with this part of Quinn's personality.

A faint blush crept across the blonde's face as she hurried to answer, "No." she whispered, "I don't really sing... I have no reason to."

"She just hums!" Jessica added with a little laugh, before she raised the beer to her lips again.

The diva brunette gasped and reached across Jessica to hit Quinn gently on the arm, "Quinn!" she hissed, "You have a wonderful voice, you should use it as often as possible."

Quinn didn't answer, she just stared oddly at the brunette for a few seconds, before she turned her eyes downwards and reached for her bottle of beer. Jessica nudged her gently in the side, but her eyes didn't waver, and she placed her bottle quietly back at the table.

Rachel felt the need to break the odd silence, even though she was slightly interested in the interaction between the couple. There was something different about them; something weird that hadn't been there before, and it felt like the air had just shifted entirely among them. She cleared her throat, "I will be singing also. Something that is not ABBA and or Broadway classics for a change." she smiled at Kurt.

Some old man was taking the stage, and Rachel was going to be surprised if he carried a tune at all.

Kurt winked at her, "Oh yes, Divalicious. It's been awhile since you knocked something else out of the park. I can never get tired of hearing you sing _Honey Honey_, butI do miss your renditions of other kinds of music." he chimed out a short laugh, his chuckles ringing out like bells, "You do everything so well, it's quite astonishing."

Rachel couldn't help but feel warm at his kind words. It wasn't because she hadn't heard praise like this before, but it was still so nice to hear it from Kurt, her best friend. She knew she was good; she knocked practically everything out of the park, she sang with such emotion and touched her audience – that was why she was on Broadway. Tonight it was going to be different for her, she was going to act, for just a night, as if she wasn't Broadway star Rachel Berry, and as if she didn't have a few Tony nominations in her pocket (sadly not a win yet, but it was going to happen, she just knew it).

"Well I can't sing to save my life, but I'd love to hear all of you!" Jessica admitted, before she placed an arm over Quinn's shoulder and kicked back and relaxed.

Just then the man on stage started to break into a... admittedly, not so good, version of an old Beatles song. Rachel cringed, and Quinn said what they all were thinking, "Well neither can he."

Just then Santana loudly announced her and Brittany's presence at the bar, and Rachel turned around in her seat to see the tall dancer and the feisty Latina approach their table. She grabbed her bottle of beer and held it up, thus indicating that they should probably get themselves something to drink before they sat down. Brittany smiled widely at her and turned around to order something, whilst Santana just bulldozed right through the crowd and stopped behind Rachel's chair. She placed her hands on the diva's shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"Berry." she sternly said.

Glancing up at her, Rachel licked her lips. "Satan." she quickly replied, before she turned her head and looked at Kurt. The word had slipped past her lips somewhat intentionally, because she'd wanted a way to give back at the anger that Santana had had towards her the last time they'd seen each other. However, she was sort of regretting it now, because Santana's wrath was not nice, and she did not want to feel it if she could avoid it.

The Latina gasped loudly and stepped around the table to look at her. "Oh really, RuPaul?" she replied back, one eyebrow raised, ready to take on the battle.

Rachel gave her a sideways smile. "RuPaul." she stated. "Haven't heard that since high school. Come join us Santana." she didn't know why she was being cool and collected right now, because truth be told, Santana did scare her a lot; her anger could be destructive and Rachel didn't want it on her. However, she also didn't want the Latina to just think that she'd take everything lying down, not like she used to do in high school. Also, she wanted to act cooler than she really was, mostly because Jessica was there, and Quinn was watching, and...

Santana took a seat next to Blaine and reached her hand across the table. "Well done, Berry." she said, her eyes turning into small slits as Rachel shook her hand, "So. How many times have you been on stage since you got here? A billion? A gazillion?"

"Ha. Ha." Rachel sarcastically replied and took a sip of her beer.

"I'm going to sing soon." Quinn added then, just as Brittany returned to the table with a handful of beers. She sat down next to Blaine, but leaned over to give Rachel a sideways hug. "I wanna sing. I'm ready to sing." Quinn continued, and there was this odd thing shining right out of her, and Rachel had a feeling that there was something deeper behind all of this.

Jessica turned to smile brightly at the blonde. "I'm sure you'll do great, Babe." she whispered, before pressing her lips to Quinn's and locking them for a long kiss.

Rachel shivered and turned to look at Nick instead. He blew her a kiss, and she felt it warm her heart. But that was that. She didn't feel that longing to be next to him, that thing pulling her towards him. It was odd, really, because as she sat there, she could feel it, right between her and Quinn. She could feel how her desire to be closer to the blonde was overshadowing everything else. And that was what really scared her, because there Nick was, being the kind, gentle husband, blowing her kisses and she just had this desire to blow kisses to someone else.

Someone old woman was about to start singing, and Santana turned to Quinn with a look. "Hey Q, maybe we should all sign up now. It looks like that list is shit-long, so how about it? Yeah?"

"I wanna do Britney!" Brittany eagerly said, and she was off her chair and approaching the stage before anyone had time to stop her. Santana, Quinn and Kurt reluctantly followed her. Rachel wanted to sing, that had been her plan all along, but right now – something was holding her back and she wasn't sure what it was. Perhaps it was the way that Quinn had been looking at her. Perhaps it was something else, she just couldn't see it. She felt like she needed to sing something for Nick, to show him (and everybody else, cough-Quinn-cough) how much he meant to her. What song would be able to do that though?

Jessica turned to Rachel then with a small, appealing smile. "So how are rehearsals for uh, was it _West Side Story_?"

The brunette diva hated that, apparently, Jessica knew everything about her, and was even interested in her, in knowing more about her. She swallowed, "They are doing fine, thank you." she said, "Brittany is now a part of the show, and it's been a pleasant change having her around."

The red-head nodded and reached for one of the beers on the table, assuming that they were free to take one of those that Brittany had bought for them. She took a short sip and continued, "I can imagine. You do know a lot of the other actors though, right? From other shows and whatnot?"

Rachel nodded. She did know a lot of them, but most all of of her acquaintances were not pleasantries. "And NYADA." she admitted, "A lot of the extras are even people I graduated with. They all hated me in school because I was better than them. They still do, so I'm not exactly invited to lunch with them." she hated that it could still make her sad sometimes, to think of the way they treated her. She'd always told herself that it was lonely on the top, but... She'd hoped that at least she'd be able to make a few friends at NYADA who weren't going to kill her when she snatched the best parts.

Apparently she was just_ too_ good.

"Seriously?" Jessica questioned in disbelief, apparently very shocked, "Do people really act like that at our age? That's crazy!"

"It's a tough business." Rachel replied, shrugging her shoulders and pretending that it didn't bother her as much as it really did, "It's every man for himself."

Jessica nodded and took a long sip of her beer, just as their friends returned to the table. Kurt smiled brightly at them and sat down, "I took the liberation to sign you up, Rachel, you're welcome."

She thanked him with a small smile; even though she found it annoying that he'd signed her up and just decided that she should sing soon, she couldn't get mad. She'd just told him that she wanted to perform and she did have a plan to do so. The only problem was just that she didn't know what to perform yet. Hopefully she'd figure something out once she was up there and saw the selection that they had. Perhaps there'd be something good for her to sing; something she couldn't think of herself right this moment.

Rachel kept on pondering her song choices as the evening progressed. Apparently, a lot more people had filled in the slots at the stage and they had to listen to horrible singers, but it was still fun; especially because some of them were getting drunk, and Rachel herself was tipsy, too. They had fun – they talked about everything, they joked and laughed and played a silly drinking game with dices. Rachel lost entirely, but she was still laughing because Blaine made fun of her for it, and Brittany started dancing on the table when she or Santana won.

Before she could really comprehend it, the MC on the stage called Quinn's name and the blonde woman stood up from their table to announce her presence. She didn't seem too drunk, she smiled at them all and told them to listen and support her. Jessica whistled after her, and when she readjusted the microphone to fit her height, Rachel met her eyes, and Quinn's hazel orbs were so intense, so incredibly filled with emotion that the diva just knew, she instinctively _knew_, that this song was for her.

And as the first recognizable tunes streamed out of the speakers, it didn't take Rachel more than ten seconds to realise what song it was that Quinn was singing. It was their song; well, the song that had been playing that day in the radio, that snow-filled winter where they had been on their way home to Lima in a rented car. Quinn had been humming beautifully along to the tune and not long after that, she'd confessed her love for Rachel and everything had changed between them. It had been the beginning of their end. This song. This particular song. The song that Quinn was well into singing right now.

_It's hard to take the blame  
>When I look at you, you're so ashamed<br>My baby, my darling, I've been thinking  
>Of leaving<em>

_Well alright_  
><em>It's okay<em>  
><em>We all get the slip sometimes every day<em>  
><em>I'll just keep it to myself in the sun<em>  
><em>In the sun<em>

The diva could see all of their friends nodding along and enjoying Quinn's performance. Kurt was glancing at them both, but she cast her look down and ignored him. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jessica smile brightly and cheer Quinn on, clearly impressed with how well her girlfriend was singing. If she just knew... if she just knew why Quinn was singing the song, and if she just knew how to interpret the lyrics. Because Rachel did, she did. She understood everything that Quinn was trying to convey to her with this song choice and it was horrible, because it made her heart ache and her stomach turn.

The song was getting to the end, and she couldn't take it anymore. She pushed her chair back, murmured something about needing to pee and hurried through the crowd towards the bathroom. She needed to get away, because she couldn't stand being inside that room anymore. Not with Nick and Jessica right there; not with Kurt, Santana and Brittany all knowing what they had done. Not with the lyrics to that song haunting her that way. No. She had to get out of there, there was simply no other option, even if it looked suspicious and weird.

Rachel leaned herself against the sink and tried to steady her breathing. She hadn't even noticed it before, but she was crying, there were tears in her eyes and some rolling down her cheeks. She had mascara mashed out everywhere, and she reached a hand up to try and rub it off. She had to get herself together, she couldn't act like a lunatic like this. She shouldn't be so emotional, and if she was gone too long, Nick would send a search-party to find her.

"Be calm Rachel..." she whispered, as she could feel her heart slowly start beating at a more natural rhythm. "Good." she told herself in a firm voice, before she reached over the sink and ripped out some paper towels from the dispenser. She was just rubbing her cheeks and trying to safe her make up, when the door to the bathroom opened.

Looking into the mirror, she felt herself freeze. It was Quinn. Quinn was staring right back at her with shimmering hazel eyes.

**-Faberry-**

She could see clearly through the faded lights in the room that Rachel was leaving the table. There wasn't much light in the room, and it was filled with smoke from cigarettes and cigars, but she had the advantage, because she was standing a few feet over the ground. She saw the way that the brunette's face had turned sour, and how she abruptly pushed her chair back and turned to leave.

Quinn forced herself to finish the song, she forced herself, because it wouldn't make sense to anyone if she stood off the stage now and followed Rachel into the bathroom. It was what she wanted to do though, she wanted nothing more than to cut herself off and follow the diva to sort this out. It was clear that her message had gotten across; it was received and understood. She'd planned it from the very beginning. The second she decided that they were going out for karaoke, she knew that it was this song she was going to sing.

There was so much meaning behind it; not only that the lyrics fitted her mood whenever she thought of herself and Rachel's relationship, but it was also the song that had been playing that day in the car, and she just _knew_ that Rachel remembered that too. She'd wanted to poke to the other woman, to sort of see what her reaction would be – and what a reaction! Quinn wasn't sure whether or not her storm-out was a positive sign or not, but at least the diva hadn't just sat there, with no emotions whatsoever.

The blonde forced herself to finish the song; there was just a few lines left, and although she heard herself go sharp at one point, the small audience that had actually been paying attention to her clapped their hands together and she bowed her head down, before she was off the stage and going right for their tables. She had no intention of stopping there however, and it seemed liked Jessica was getting that, because she murmured "bathroom" as Quinn passed her, and the blonde knew that she'd have her back and make up some explanation to those few who couldn't know anything.

She felt their eyes on her back, but she ignored it and pushed the door to the bathroom open with a push more powerful than she'd first intended. She stopped when she saw Rachel, for a second, she could see her tears in the mirror, the way her body shook a little bit as if she'd been very upset. It was just a second, a second to give her a once-over, before her eyes met Rachel's in the mirror, and the diva turned to her with huge eyes.

She was like a deer caught in the headlights, watching the car come closer, locking eyes with the person behind the wheel of the car that was just about to pummel right into the animal, the animal who had nowhere and no time to run.

Quinn had almost never seen her as beautiful as she was now. Sometimes she'd been struck by the sight of her beauty; when pictures on her website showed her in stunning dresses, on the way to a première. Or when she was on stage, singing her heart out, in her true element. Or like that day in her apartment where they kissed. But something now was different; the brunette was so vulnerable, so breakable, so... easy to touch, to love.

She wanted it to be okay for her to love her.

Rachel bit her lip. "That was a wonderful performance, Quinn."

The blonde raised an eyebrow and took one step closer. "How would you know, you didn't see the end of it?"

"I – I … I needed to, uh, to use the bathroom." the diva whispered, shuffling nervously at her feet. Her eyes were flickering, and she was not a very convincing liar.

"No you didn't." Quinn said then, quickly cutting her off. She didn't want to hear any bullshit right now, because she couldn't care less what excuses Rachel had to make up, but most importantly – they didn't have time for bullshit, because someone was going to find it odd and come looking for them. Jessica could only stall for so long. "You came in here because the song really hit home with you, didn't it?"

Rachel stepped back and leaned herself against the sink, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Quinn stepped closer to her again; she didn't want to be tough with the other woman, especially when she could see that it was not working and that Rachel was very emotional by now. She was going to have to try something different. She still didn't want any bullshit, no, she wanted honesty, and she could get that somehow else. She trapped Rachel between the sink and herself by holding onto the white porcelain, a hand on each of Rachel's sides. They were close, so close that she could feel the diva's shallow breathing on her face. She whispered, "I sang that song because I wanted to let you know what I feel. I know you said that we need to just be friends, Rach, but I can't just be your friend. Everytime I'm near you, I long to touch you."

The other woman bent her head away, not meeting Quinn's eyes, "We can't, Quinn, I told you that. We can't do this. We have to be strong."

"I'm tired of keeping myself away from you." Quinn whispered, pulling herself even closer, but still not letting their bodies touch, "Don't I deserve to be happy?" she breathed into Rachel's ear, her breath ghosting over the other woman's sensitive skin.

Rachel shivered beneath her. "Remember Jessica. Remember Nick." she continued, but she turned her head anyway, and locked her eyes to Quinn's. There was so much emotion floating in there; those orbs that always portrayed exactly what she was feeling, they were showing so much love and desire that Quinn could hardly handle it.

She licked her lips, her mouth falling slightly open as she felt everything well up inside of her; everything that she was feeling for the other woman was simmering right beneath the surface, pounding to come out. "I don't care..." she whispered, and then she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Rachel's.

Though the diva had seemed reluctant, told her to stop it, to stay away, she felt her respond immediately. Their lips meshed together desperately, she felt the singer's hands rise to her hair and pull her head closer, ordering her not to stray away. Her own hands were clinging onto the sink, but just for a second longer, because she let them to Rachel's petite waist and clung to her instead. She pulled herself closer, she pressed her body into the tiny woman's, she felt her response, a tiny moan that came from the back of her throat, and Quinn hungrily attacked her lips once more.

There was rapid breathing and sounds coming from either herself or Rachel, at this point she wasn't sure, and there was searching hands and when she somehow managed to press her knee between Rachel's legs, the diva pulled their lips apart and moaned loudly once more.

Everything was a haze; Quinn wasn't sure what she was doing, just that she felt hot and cold at the same time, that the pulsating between her thighs was telling her how much she was enjoying this. She'd been imaging a moment like this, she'd dreamt of it, hoped for it. She couldn't control her actions, her desires were taking over, and all she wanted was to be even closer to Rachel, to feel her naked skin, to touch her in places she'd never been before.

But this was not the place for that. It really was _not_ the place for that. And Rachel's fingers pulling at her hair and trying to push her away, finally snatched her out of it. She stepped back, far away from the other woman, so far away that her back hit the door into one of the toilet booths. She tried to regain control of her breathing as she watched Rachel through clouded eyes. Her heart was beating rapidly, and she was painfully aware of how wet her panties were. She dug her short nails into the flesh of her hand and ordered herself to think of something else entirely. Like Finn. Or dead puppies. And her grandmother.

Rachel was standing with her head in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking and Quinn wanted to cross the floor and hold her, but she knew that any touching right now would not be beneficial. She wanted to say something, anything, just to... to make Rachel see that she was sorry for attacking her, but – but that she hadn't been able to control herself, simply because she was too far in love with her, too far gone to ever go back.

But how would she ever be able to make Rachel understand that, when the other woman refused to open her eyes and really see?

The door to the bathroom opened then, and it could have been whoever who wanted to use the bathroom (usually at places like these, people had to go all the time), but it was Jessica who peered inside. There was a small smile on her face, but when she saw the entire situation, she frowned a little bit.

Stepping inside, she turned to Rachel, "Are you okay? Nick sent me in here to see if you had fallen in." she said, and Quinn appreciated how she tried to act as the wonderful friend and girlfriend who was just there to check up on them.

Rachel pulled her hands away from her face and grabbed some paper towels and quickly dried her eyes. "I'm okay. I suddenly just felt bad. Quinn was... nice enough to check up on me." she whispered, before she turned to the mirror and quickly made sure that everything was as it should be; that her clothes weren't wrinkled and not a strand of hair was out of place. "I'm good now." she said, before she brushed past Jessica and went back into the bar.

Jessica turned to Quinn with a devious smile on her face. It was pretty evident that this was funny to her, just by the way she was standing.

"Shut up." Quinn hissed, before she copied Rachel's movements from before and checked her clothes and hair.

The red-head glanced at her, and her smile was softer now. "You totally got it on in here, didn't you? I was afraid to enter, but I knew I had to." she wriggled her eyebrows.

Quinn turned to glance at her, and she couldn't hide the pleased smile that erupted on her face when she thought back to the kiss that had just occurred a few minutes ago. It had been so hot and intense and just... mind-blowing. She never thought she'd be able to enjoy kissing anyone else, not after that. "We kissed." she said, and then broke into a smile so big, it had to light up her entire face.

Jessica gave her a fist right on her upper arm. "You dirty dog!" she said, sounding both impressed and little bit lecturing, "Her husband is right in there!" she shook her head and reached her hand out to fix a strand of astray hair. "This is getting so out of hand, Quinn... I can see that you really want to be with her, but... it's not fair to him. Not when things are getting more and more serious. I mean, I'm not an idiot, I can tell that more than a peck on the lips happened in here. I can practically smell the sex on you." she let her hands fall from the hair and surprised Quinn by placed it on her crotch, "You're so wet, Quinnie." she whispered.

Pushing her hand away, Quinn knew that she was right. It couldn't continue on like this. There had to be an end to this madness, it wasn't fair to Nick at all. The problem was just that Rachel didn't want this to continue, but to stay with Nick. If they'd both agreed that it was going to be them, it'd be unfair to keep Nick in the dark, but like this... There was nothing she could do but try to control her own feelings, even though it was a task she'd never master.

"Sure you don't want me to take the edge off before we go back out there?" Jessica questioned with a sultry voice.

Although that offer was wonderful because Quinn was so turned on at the moment, she didn't want to. They'd agreed to stop having sex because she wanted to go for it with Rachel, and this was only going to complicate things. She didn't want to do it to Jessica, because even if they had never been together, just goofing around, it wasn't fair to her. She was already helping her by pretending to be her girlfriend, she couldn't pull her more into this, not by making it worse.

The blonde glared at her. "Keep your fingers to yourself, you sexy lady." she said, before she walked around her and out of the bathroom.

What a night.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for the kind reviews you guys left me on the last chapter! I appreciate your support so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too? I know it wasn't the longest chapter, and that I am a bit rusty right now, but I hope it was good nonetheless :) I will try to be back with the next chapter quicker this time! Things are definitely moving forward, so it should get more interesting soon, if my storyline sticks ;-) <em>

_So what did you guys think of the last few Glee episodes? I was SO disappointed of Rachel's audition, I was left feeling so confused and cheated. AND I feel like Quinn is not getting the appropriate amount of screen-time after that accident, or is that just me? _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee, and the song Quinn sang is, of course, In the Sun by She & Him, which is also where I borrowed the title of the story :) _


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve **

They were babysitting the twins, and Rachel was freaking out.

Not that she'd actually uttered the words 'Quinn, I'm freaking out' because that hadn't happened. Quinn was just sure that the other woman was freaking out, because she could tell by the look on her face that she was; that's right, she knew Rachel Berry well enough to know her faces. And, come to think of it, she also knew that Rachel Berry would never say 'Quinn, I'm freaking out', no she'd probably say something like, 'Quinn, I am horribly distressed' instead.

Anyway. They were babysitting Rico and Rebecca because Brittany and Santana deserved a night out; they hadn't been on a real date for so long, and when Santana, during yet another of their lunches, had moaned about getting Brittany to herself, Quinn had casually suggested they needed a night out, just to themselves. So when Santana sarcastically answered back with an, 'Oh yeah? And who's gonna watch the evil twins? You?', Quinn had seriously replied with a nod, and added, 'Yes. If Brittany gets Rachel to keep me company'. So that was that. The story of how she ended up in Brittany and Santana's apartment that Saturday night; with two sleeping kids in their cribs and the TV turned on, and a fussing Rachel, who kept running around the place, trying to tidy up after them, even if the place was more spotless than it had been since the couple moved in five years ago.

Quinn was going a little out of her mind herself, because Rachel wouldn't sit down and relax with her. They'd arrived early to keep watch on the twins while Santana and Brittany finished getting ready, and once the two had left, they'd fed the twins dinner and after that, they'd struggled getting them to sleep, and now when they finally were, Quinn thought that they deserved a well-deserved break. She just wanted for Rachel to sit down next to her on the couch so that they could talk.

There were so many things they needed to discuss. Rachel hadn't answered any of her calls or texts since last weekend when they went out for karaoke, and it frustrated her to no end. After their encounter in the bathroom, the diva hadn't wanted to meet her eyes, and she'd clung to Nick's side until the couple left to go home. Quinn just wanted – _needed_ – to get this straight. That was why she'd had to get Brittany to lure Rachel there under false pretences. She'd just had to get the diva alone, and this was the only way she knew how. If Rachel wasn't going to be mature enough to answer her when she reached out, Quinn was just going to have to force her to.

She wasn't even sure what it was that she needed to settle with Rachel. Actually, she believed that her actions during their encounter in the bathroom had spoken pretty clearly for her – she'd been honest about what she thought and felt, what she wished for them, and even if Rachel kept denying that anything could ever happen, Quinn didn't believe her. Of course the situation spoke for itself; nothing _should_ ever happen, but... that didn't mean it wouldn't. Because Rachel's actions, when she let herself actually do what her body, her mind, her heart, told her to... they spoke for themselves, too.

The blonde didn't know how this was ever going to work out in her favour, but she wanted to keep believing that it could, because what she felt – it wasn't usual, it was rare and special, and she didn't want to give up on it.

Turning around on the couch, Quinn rested her cheek against the back of the sofa and watched the brunette move around in the kitchen with rapid speed. She was cleaning up from their dinner earlier, though nothing much was messing up the kitchen island, and Quinn found it amusing to follow her movements with her eyes. She loved the way her long brown hair flew around her back and shoulders when she turned one way or the other. She loved the way that Rachel bit her lip in thought as she focused on the task at hand. She even loved how she seemed to contemplate something as simple as cleaning up a kitchen.

But this wasn't going to last. Rachel was probably trying to pass time until Santana and Brittany came home, just so she wouldn't have to sit down next to Quinn, but the blonde would have none of that. It was unacceptable for the diva to slip her way around it like that, and Quinn was going to call her out on it now.

"Rach?" she questioned.

The diva turned around on her heel, a washing cloth in one hand and a distressed look on her face. "Yes?" she questioned, not wanting to meet Quinn's eyes.

The blonde continued, "Make us some instant coffee and come sit down, eh?" she suggested. She knew that the comforting scent and taste of coffee was going to be relaxing for both of them. "The kitchen seems clean now. I think Santana and Brittany will be very satisfied and pay you well for your cleaning services."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha. You're funny, aren't you?" she questioned, before she turned around and carefully placed the washing cloth next to the sink, before she reached for the electric kettle and poured water into it. She seemed impatient as she tapped her finger, and when the kettle was finally full, she turned it on, before she started her search through the cupboard for some cups.

Quinn couldn't help but let out a small chuckle when the diva had to tiptoe up to reach the cups on the highest shelf. She tried to hide the sound by pressing her mouth against the soft cushion, but Rachel heard it anyway, and she turned around to glare at her, a cup in each hand.

"I'm sorry." Quinn laughed and this time, their eyes met, "You're just so short, it's adorable."

"I find that my height suits me quite well, thank you." Rachel replied and sat both of the cups down on the counter, before she picked the instant coffee out of another cupboard, which she must've spotted earlier, because she had it right in the first take.

The blonde smiled warmly at her and watched as she poured two table spoons into each cup. "I know. I like your height." _It goes so well with mine. You fit right next to me. Haven't you noticed? _

Rachel couldn't hide the smile that came to her lips then, when she looked up. Her response though, was anything but happy. "Don't say things like that." she whispered.

Quinn was about to answer, but the kettle went off, and Rachel turned away to fetch the boiling water. The blonde watched as she poured water into the cups, completely focused on that, even though it was evident that something was troubling her. Quinn wanted to respond to her statement, but she was happy that the kettle had cut her off. She'd planned on jumping head-first into this conversation, but she hadn't thought that through. Perhaps it was better to do this quietly, over two cups of instant coffee.

Grabbing the finished coffees from the counter, Rachel walked carefully across the room, only to finally set the cups onto the coffee table and take a seat next to Quinn on the couch. Granted, it was at the far other end of it, but it was better than had she picked the chair. This showed some sort of comfort, some sort of trust. And that pleased the blonde.

Quinn reached for one of the cups and started by taking a long sip of it. As soon as the first drop of it hit her tongue, it tickled her taste-buds, and she felt relaxation take over her body and sweep her off her feet. She wanted to have this conversation now, and – in _some_ way – she felt that she was also ready for it. Whether Rachel liked it or not, they were going to discuss this and they were going to find a way to... to fix it. Whatever the heck that meant.

"Good coffee." Rachel mumbled, as she lowered her cup to rest between her thighs. She smiled faintly up at Quinn, almost shyly, and the blonde found it adorable.

She nodded her head, "Mhm, very good."

The brunette was still jittery, but at least she was on the couch next to her now, quieting down. "Rico and Rebecca are really wonderful children." she said then. "I hope to be blessed with such amazing kids one day."

This wasn't exactly what Quinn had had in mind for their conversation, but she was going to grab it and run with it; if this was what Rachel wanted to talk about, this could be quite the conversation-opener, after all: Kids had something to do with marriage and relationships, so it wasn't that far off. She also wanted kids, and she wanted them with Rachel, but she had a feeling that _that_ wasn't in Rachel's plans.

"Kids are great." Quinn agreed, "I want kids too." she paused. "At least a few that I get to keep."

Rachel's eyes flickered nervously again, and she said, "Yeah, that'd be... that'd be wonderful. I'm not sure when the time is, I mean, Nick is pressuring me into doing it soon, but now I have _West Side Story_, and I really hope to get that Tony award soon! I don't have to have kids now, y'know? I'm just getting my career started!"

Quinn could feel her heart clench painfully together when Rachel mentioned Nick, and she quickly realised that this was not a conversation she was able to have with her. It was just too painful for her to hear about Rachel's plans to have children with Nick; it was impossible to sit here and listen to this. Just the thought of Rachel popping out Nick's kids... it devastated her. She couldn't imagine what it was going to be like if that actually happened someday. How it would be like for her to watch that happen... She didn't want Rachel to give birth to Nick's kids, _she_ wanted to give birth to _Rachel's_ kids. See, she'd planned the entire thing in her mind when she first fell for Rachel back in college. She'd pictured her carrying their babies; with the mix of Rachel's genes and a blonde, pale donor's. That way Rachel would be able to continue doing work on stage throughout the entire thing, thus not being forgotten in any way. Because like Rachel had just said, it was important to keep going now that she was finally getting leading parts.

And. Quinn just wanted to hold a little baby girl with eyes like Rachel's and a stunning voice to match her mother's. It had to be Rachel's genes in their babies. If Quinn carried them, their children would really be their children.

"Are we really going to talk about this right now?" Quinn questioned softly then.

The brunette looked into her coffee cup then, for just a few seconds as she seemed to think things over. Looking up, Quinn was surprised that she could see small tears in her eyes, and it caught her completely off guard. She wasn't aware that – apparently – this was upsetting Rachel just as much as it was upsetting her. "This is so messed up, Quinn." she whispered then. "I don't... I don't know _what_ to do."

"Tell me what you're thinking and feeling." Quinn suggested delicately.

"I _can't_... get you off my mind." she muttered, blinking desperately to get the tears away. "I think about you _all the time_. I keep reliving that kiss you gave me in the bathroom, it was... it was mind-blowing. And, and, and Nick is just... Nick is just there, at home, being the kind and lovable husband he's always been, but I don't appreciate it, because all I see in my mind is _you_. I'm such a horrible wife!"

The blonde couldn't help the happiness that quickly began to grow inside of her; even though this was horrible because it was evidently upsetting Rachel, she couldn't help but feel pleased that apparently the other woman was thinking about their kiss as much as she was. "You're not horrible, Rach..."

The brunette shook her head in disagreement, "But I am! I keep thinking about kissing you again, about touching you and loving you! I am such a cheater!" she placed her cup of coffee on the table next to her cell phone and shook her head again, "Right now, I actually have to restrain myself from moving closer. It's all I want to do, but... I know I can't."

Quinn, blinking, reached her hand out and slowly intertwined her fingers with Rachel's, and the brunette wasn't even resisting that much. She squeezed her hand and felt her throat tighten. "I know that you feel like you can't..." she whispered, "But Rachel, I... I am so in love with you. _So_ in love with you."

"Don't say that." she argued, turning her head away and refusing to meet the blonde's eyes.

"Rach..." Quinn hoarsely whispered, and even though Rachel had tried to resist, it took only thirty seconds, before their lips were pressed together, and Rachel was lying half on top of Quinn on the couch.

It was heated and desperate. Quinn savoured every second of Rachel lithe body on top of hers; every part of her was aching, lusting for more. She wanted to feel Rachel's naked body instead, she wanted to touch her, breathe her in, kiss every part of her skin. She knew that this wasn't right, but she couldn't bring herself to care anymore. She needed this, she was going to drive herself insane if she had to force herself to stay away any longer. And it seemed to her, by the way that she was being kissed, that Rachel had reached the same conclusion. Her kisses were just as desperate, her touches just as frantic and eager. Her breath was hitting the blonde's sensitive skin, and she could feel herself getting aroused quicker than first anticipated. Maybe it was because it had been awhile since Jessica last took care of that, but Quinn was actually believing that perhaps it was because... this was Rachel. She was finally lying here with Rachel, which was everything she'd ever dreamed of.

It was making her happy, but at the same time upsetting her. She was finally getting all of this, but the fact that it was just borrowed time, that Rachel would go running home to Nick tonight, it broke her heart. She wanted this, for the rest of her life. She'd be happy, with just her and Rachel resting together comfortably on the couch while their kids were sleeping or playing. It wasn't fair that it wasn't going to happen, it wasn't fair that Rachel was going to have that with someone else.

A small moaned escaped the back of Quinn's throat, but this time, Rachel wasn't frightened by the sound; she kept on going, her hands roaming and her kisses getting deeper. Quinn felt herself grow so aroused; she almost couldn't take the tingles and the wetness between her legs. Everything was heated, and she wanted to cling to this moment for the rest of her life.

As she wrapped a hand around the back of Rachel's neck to make sure that the brunette kept right where she was, kissing her, she was faintly aware of the fact that a phone was ringing somewhere; she was quite sure that it wasn't her own, but Rachel's, because even in her lustful haze she was pretty sure that it was the beginning tunes of _Don't Rain on My Parade _that she could hear.

She wanted to pull away, to let Rachel pick up her phone, but the diva murmured something and kept pressing her lips to Quinn's, pressing her tongue between her lips and meeting Quinn's. The blonde eagerly responded with her own tongue, and eventually the phone stopped ringing.

But only for a while.

Because approximately ten seconds later, the same tune went off again, and this time, Rachel broke off their kiss. Groaning in annoyance, she pulled away to get her phone from the table. Quinn closed her eyes and let her back rest flat against the couch. She tried to regain control of her breath as she felt Rachel sit up on her legs. _Breathe, _Quinn ordered herself, even if she had tingles all over her body, and every part of her was begging for more.

"Quinn." Rachel breathed.

Opening her eyes, Quinn looked up to find Rachel staring at her with wide eyes and the phone in her hand. Quinn was confused, and quite disorientated.

"She keeps calling." Rachel whispered then, and held out her phone, even closer, for Quinn to take a look.

Quinn felt her eyes focus on the phone, and felt herself pause when she realised which name it was, flashing across the screen.

_Shelby Corcoran. _

The blonde felt herself panic. "Pick it up!" she hissed. She hadn't heard from Shelby since high school when she'd had that crises and convinced herself that she could get Beth back. It had been a stupid idea of hers, but she always reasoned with herself by saying that she hadn't been well in that time of her life; she'd been in need of someone to talk to, someone to listen to her. And that was why. Of course now, looking back, she knew that she could never have gotten Beth back no matter what. Shelby was Beth's mom, and that was that. But it was still quite weird to actually have her getting this close right now.

Rachel cleared her throat and held the phone to her ear, "Rachel Berry speaking?"

"Put it on speaker!" Quinn hissed.

The brunette's eyes widened for a second, before she lowered the phone and quickly did the job.

"...ring, how you were?" Shelby ended then.

Rachel cleared her throat again and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm – I'm good, thank you. We're in the middle of rehearsing for _West_-"

"_West Side Story, _yes!" Shelby eagerly said then, and Quinn could hear how impressed she was by that, "I am shocked that you didn't tell me this, Rachel! I know that we don't speak too often, but I had hoped that you'd share something like this with me! After all, I was there with your fathers and Mr. Schuester at your début. I am just as supportive of your career as they are."

The brunette nodded her head. "I know, I uh – I wasn't really sure how you felt about that now." she flatly responded, and Quinn could just hear that it hadn't crossed her mind once and that she really didn't want the other woman there.

Shelby was quiet for a second, before she slowly suggested, "...is it still possible for you to set aside two tickets for the première?"

Rachel's eyes widened, and she met Quinn's eyes with a surprised look. The blonde was just as surprised – had Shelby gotten married now? Did Beth actually have a father figure in her life? "You – you got married, Mother?" she whispered, clearly shocked.

Shelby laughed then, her chuckles ringing clearly over the phone. "No! No, Rachel, I would have told you if I did. The other ticket, it's – it's for Beth. I thought you'd know that, she's..." she trailed off, and Quinn felt her heartbeat speed up as her ears peeked, "She's a teenager now, Sweetie. And she's into all of the same things as you and I are. Musicals and singing, I mean.. Don't get me wrong, she also loves cheerleading, but music is just her passion."

Quinn's throat was dry, and Rachel looked just as struck as she was. "So you're... bringing Beth? To New York? To my première?"

"Yes! I told her that... that you're my – that I gave birth to you, and she's very excited and wants to meet you." Shelby finished.

Rachel met Quinn's eyes then, and even though the blonde tried to act cool and together about this, she knew that Rachel could see right through her. "Does she want to meet Quinn?" the brunette coldly questioned then, "Or have you neglected to tell her about her real birth mother?"

"Beth knows about Quinn and Puck." Shelby said then, and the confusion was evident in her voice, "She hasn't mentioned anything about meeting them, though."

The brunette sighed deeply and continued, "If you bring her to my première, she might as well. Quinn will be there." she finished with a firm voice, and her eyes locked with Quinn's again; in a deep, meaningful look.

Quinn felt her heart swell, and she reached a hand up to brush it gently across Rachel's cheek. _Thank you, _she mouthed.

Shelby sounded quite confused as she continued, "She... will? Are you two friends again?"

"She'll be there." Rachel answered, dancing gracefully around the question of their friendship, "And she's here right now, too. You're on speaker."

The blonde felt her eyes widen, but as soon as Rachel stuck the phone to her face, she breathed out a, "Hi Shelby."

The other woman answered quite coldly back, but Quinn couldn't blame her, considering what she'd done when Shelby had been a teacher at McKinley. "Hello Quinn."

Rachel pulled her phone back and said, "I'll leave two tickets for you in my name. Is that okay?"

"That's great, Sweetie!" Shelby eagerly said, "I'll call you back some other day for more information, alright? I was just eager to get this settled before you'd be unable to get us in."

"That's okay." Rachel replied with a slight nod. "Bye." she finished, before she hung up the phone and dropped it to the table again. She seemed distressed after that conversation; Quinn herself felt jaded. That was just the most awkward thing to happen while they were finally giving into their feelings and lusts. Actually, it was the most awkward thing to happen at any time. The only thing she knew about Shelby and Beth was what her mother told her when she sometimes ran into them back in Lima, and it wasn't much. But this – this was huge. She was most likely going to see Beth again in the foreseeable future. It was gigantic!

Rachel sighed heavily. "That was stupid and awkward." she mumbled then, her teeth peeking out to bite her lip.

Quinn nodded her head and reached a hand out to intertwine her fingers with the brunette's once more. "I... _can't _believe you just told her that I was right here. Thank you." she murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Rachel's hand in appreciation. She was stunned that the other woman had blurted that out in the way she did; so carelessly and bluntly. Perhaps it was because she was ambivalent about Shelby in the same way that Quinn herself was. It wasn't easy to either love or hate Shelby, you were always somehow stuck right there in the middle.

"If you haven't noticed..." Rachel whispered, "I care more about you than should be humanly possible. I'll do... anything for you."

The blonde felt like she was going to float off this couch just by that one sentence. It warmed her heart, it completely caught her off guard, but it warmed her. "Does this mean you're finally going to stop resisting us?"

Nodding her head, Rachel answered, "_Yes_." she said, "I can't stay away. I have... no idea what's happening, and how this is all going to end. Obviously I have to – I have to figure it out, but... while I do. Can we please spend time together and just be the Quinn and Rachel that we used to?"

Quinn wasn't entirely pleased with this. She wanted for Rachel to make up her mind right now; to say that she was going to leave Nick and be with her, and only her. She wanted for them to be a couple, to live together, get married, have kids and share their lives together. But she also knew that she had to understand that Rachel was married, that she was in a relationship that she couldn't just leave like that. This wasn't going to last though; eventually Rachel would have to make a choice, and Quinn hated that she had to wait to know if she'd be in or out. She was going to have to though – even if it pained her. She'd just have to be patient and hope for the best. "Okay." she heard herself whisper.

"Okay?" Rachel asked in confirmation, her eyes glistening with excitement.

The blonde could feel a small knot tie itself inside her stomach, because she really wasn't happy with the situation. She was of course glad that Rachel had finally admitted that there was something real between them, but that was sort of pushed aside because of that fact that she'd be deceiving Nick while persuading _her_. That was the reason that knot was already there, lurking. She hoped that Rachel would eventually end up choosing her over Nick, but was this really the way to start out for them? The way for them to – hopefully – spend the rest of their lives together? Quinn was already regretting agreeing to this, but... if this was her only chance at being with Rachel, was she really going to say no?

The brunette leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Quinn's lips then, a kiss very different from the ones they'd shared so far, but Quinn loved the intimacy of it. It was special and loving, and exactly what Quinn had always wished they'd share someday. "Thank you for being so understanding." Rachel whispered, her breath trailing delicately across the blonde's pale skin and tickling her.

_Thank you for finally acknowledging us. _Quinn reached her hands up and pulled Rachel's lips to hers in a soaring kiss.

**-Faberry-**

"That is a bad fucking idea, Quinnie."

"S, just – try to think about it for _just _a second before you write it off."

"No way, Blondie, it's crap! She's going to use you as her shitty booty-call, and that's all you're fucking ever going to be."

Quinn spun around in her office chair with a sigh. "Santana, I really think you're wrong. I'm not happy we're starting out like this either, but I know she has feelings for me too. It's not just about sex."

Santana scoffed on the other end of the phone. "Pffft! _Of course_ it's about sex! Everything is about sex! Besides, I could smell the sex on you the other day when Britts and I got home-" she paused, "-and by the way, you better never fucking do it while you're in my apartment – _watching my kids!_ - again. Gots it, Blondie?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "We didn't do it. We just made out and stuff."

"And stuff?" Santana questioned with fire in her voice.

"And stuff." Quinn stated. She smiled to herself, because yes, they hadn't had sex, but they'd kissed and touched, and it had been amazing. "But to get back to the point, Rachel feels for me the way I do for her."

Santana guffawed. "No Quinn! It's just 'cuz she's not getting any of the dirty stuff at home. Perhaps Nick can't get it up." she paused. "You know what? He does seem like a wuss to me. Or maybe he won't eat pussy. You know how many men who won't do that?"

Quinn didn't know, but she didn't reply.

"A whole frigging lot!" Santana continued with a huff. "Perhaps she's coming to you just 'cuz you're a lesbian, and you know how to do the job for sure."

The blonde could just imagine her Latina friend, on the other end of the line, wriggling her eyebrows to mock her. "I do know how to do that very well, thank you. I've got stamina."

Santana laughed. "Wanna put your money where your mouth is?" she sheepishly questioned in a suggestive tone. It was just for fun, but Quinn blushed anyway. It was a good thing that Santana wasn't suggesting this in front of her, because she'd just make fun of her for it.

"I definitely will not put my mouth on you." Quinn replied back softly.

"Boohoo." Santana replied.

"Anyway S," Quinn continued with a look towards the clock on her wall. "I've gotta go. My last patient is coming soon."

Santana sighed. "Yeah, text me later about that work-out, Q." she finished, before she hung up the phone.

Quinn spun around in her office chair again and faced her desk. Claire was going to be there very soon for a session, and it was probably going to be fun. The girl had made such progress in such short notice, and Quinn was starting to believe that the girl actually didn't need a psychologist as much as she needed a friend. Which Quinn was happy to be for her, because that girl was just the sweetest thing.

Her phone call with Santana had just reminded her that there was one more person she needed to talk to: Jessica. She hadn't told Jessica what had happened between her and Rachel and that they'd decided to go for it. She figured it was about time that she 'broke up' with Jessica, too. Because Rachel was already feeling guilty about Nick, it'd be better if Jessica wasn't in the picture to feel guilty about too, even if she knew all about it. Quinn knew that if she had to feel good about herself, she had to tell Rachel someday that her and Jessica were never really girlfriends, but that was in the future. She _was_ going to immediately tell her if Rachel decided to leave Nick; or at least that's what Quinn told herself.

There was a knock on her door, and Quinn looked up to see Claire peeking her head inside. "Your secretary sent me right in." the girl said with a bright smile.

"Come take a seat." Quinn eagerly said and gestured towards the usual chair. She couldn't hide her happiness, and she was painfully aware of the idiotic smile that was currently plastered on her face. She couldn't help it, though, she was just too happy about the recent turn of events. "How are you today?"

Getting herself comfortable in the chair, Claire nodded her head. "I'm very good, thanks." she said and stared up at Quinn with a serious look. "But enough about me. I want to know about you. You seem very happy today, Quinn?"

The blonde woman blushed again, and even though she should tell the girl that she was crossing a line, she couldn't. This was usually how their sessions went. If Claire had anything to talk about, anything that had happened she needed to discuss, or get her feelings out about, she'd do so when Quinn asked her how she was. If she had nothing special to share, Quinn would sometimes ask about her fathers or her school-work, something regarding her patient. However, a few times before, Claire had been interested in knowing about her, and though Quinn didn't get attached to her patients on principle and certainly never shared sensitive information with them, there was just something about Claire that had made her tell other things. Like how she had told about her own Glee Club experiences and how it had been for her to grow up in a small town with a set of drunken parents.

"I am very happy." Quinn replied with a little shrug.

"You're in love!" Claire eagerly said, almost jumping out of her seat in excitement. "I've never been in love so I can't possibly know the feeling, but I've seen the look in the movies! You're so in love!"

The blonde woman shook her head at the young girl and re-crossed her legs. "I am in love." Quinn confirmed. "She's the most incredible woman I've ever met, and I just recently found out that she feels the same way about me."

Claire clapped her hands together. "So is she your girlfriend now?"

Quinn shook her head. "No. Not yet. I hope she will be though."

Licking her lips, Claire nodded as she tried to understand that. "But you're in love with her, and she's in love with you?"

"Yeah?" Quinn questioned. She really wanted to know where Claire was going with this.

"Then why are you not together?" she asked in such an honest way, that Quinn could not help but agree with her.

_Really? Why aren't we?_

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for your kinds reviews for the last chapter; they were very much appreciated! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. Please leave me your opinion :) <em>

_**Disclaimer; **I do not own Glee. _


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

The afternoon sun was flickering through the thin curtains, and there was a fresh stream of air blowing gently through the open windows. It hit her naked body with a soothing coldness, and rose goosebumps on her burning skin. She was snuggled up to her lover's side, and it was absolutely amazing. She felt so secure and loved, something she hadn't felt in a very long time.

She couldn't believe that she was finally lying there with Quinn.

They'd just slept together for the first time, and it had been every bit as incredible as Rachel had always imagined it was going to be. Quinn's naked form had been even more beautiful than she'd had imagination to create it to be, and her skills bad been far from mediocre. She'd brought Rachel to that place more than once, and suddenly the world seemed like such an easier place to live in. This was the life, and nothing else seemed to matter, as they were wrapped up in each other, sharing a glass of water, lying in a messy bed in an apartment that smelled distinctively of sex. She was worn out and sated. Her first venture into lesbian sex had been fantastic. She was certain that she could do even better in the future.

Of course he'd always been there, Nick, in the back of her mind. The thought of him had sort of been there, nagging her, as she'd first entered the apartment after a quick dinner with Quinn. She hadn't thought that this was going to happen, but when the blonde had first started to kiss her and tugged at her clothes, she'd tried to be resistant, but it had only happened for so long. She couldn't help herself; she had the desire to be with Quinn this way, but – she was still guilty about cheating on Nick. Of course the kisses they'd shared earlier were cheating too, and she'd definitely been cheating on him emotionally for a few months now; but... but finally sleeping with Quinn – it was the last straw, and it seemed _so_ final.

But when Quinn had touched her in all the right places, every thought of Nick had been pushed aside and she'd succumbed to the blonde entirely. It was only now, when they were lying there quietly, that Nick re-entered her mind again. She couldn't believe that she'd let herself come to this, that she'd let herself be this person, a cheater. She was cheating on her husband, the person who had accepted her, loved her, supported her, for so many years. It wasn't fair to him, it wasn't fair to their relationship; she'd just walked all over it. If Nick ever found out about this, he would be crushed. He would be absolutely devastated and heartbroken. And she didn't want to be this person; she didn't want to be a cheater.

She felt Quinn press a soft kiss on her shoulder, and turned her head to stare up at the blonde woman from where she was lying, in her arms. Quinn was so beautiful; her shoulder-long hair was messed up, but she had the most contend smile on her face. It was clear to see that she was pleased with these turns of events, that she was happy, in love, and not feeling the same amount of guilt that Rachel herself was. Of course Quinn was cheating on Jessica, like Rachel was cheating on Nick, but perhaps it didn't matter as much. They weren't married, and maybe they had other rules to their relationship. At least Quinn wasn't tied to someone for a lifetime.

"Are you okay?" the blonde hoarsely whispered, dragging her thumb gently over the side of Rachel's elbow.

"Just thinkin'..." Rachel lightly replied, before she buried her head in Quinn's body. She knew that they had to talk about all of this eventually, because everytime they started having this conversation, she kept saying that she needed time. She did need time though, but how much was Quinn willing to give? How much time could she give herself to figure this out? It wasn't fair to anyone, not Nick or Quinn. She needed to find a way to go about this, to make up her mind, and then take action. It was just so difficult when she loved both these people, and she didn't want to hurt them.

"You're not... mad – that we did this now, are you?" Quinn softly whispered, and there was an edge of worry to her voice.

Rachel shook her head, but she didn't look at the blonde. Murmuring, into her skin, she continued, "I'm not mad that I did this with you..." she trailed off, "It's been on my mind since we were... young, but-" she paused. She hated that Quinn asked her this question, because the blonde should know that she didn't regret doing this, but that Nick was also a factor and that was why she wasn't over the moon right now. "-I keep thinking about Nick. I don't wanna do this to him."

Quinn was silent for a few seconds, just a few, before she reached down and delicately forced Rachel to look at her. "Then tell him." she whispered.

Rachel was about to open her mouth to object, but the blonde continued.

"No _really_," she said, "tell him, Rach. Tell him about us! We're never really going to be together when you're still married to Nick."

_It sounds so easy when you say it like that. _

The diva pulled herself away from the blonde woman, all of a sudden needing some distance. Right then, it was just too hard to stay so close to her, and she needed to get some space. "Don't say that." she whispered, her brown eyes flickering over Quinn's delicate naked body and the way that her face showed so much hurt. "I told you what this was going to be, and you chose to be with me on those premises. I was upfront with you about that, and right now, I can't leave Nick."

Quinn turned her head away for a second, just a second, but when she spun her head back and looked at Rachel, the diva was surprised to see that a small amount of tears had gathered themselves in the corners of her eyes. "I thought you _wanted_ to be with me?"

"I do!" Rachel quickly assured her, because she couldn't stand it if the blonde started to believe something like that, because that was far from the truth. She did want to be with Quinn, but how could she leave Nick? Even if she thought about Quinn all day long and longed to be next to her when she wasn't, she couldn't just leave Nick like that. She wasn't sure if she wanted to, she felt – she was so attached to him in some way. She couldn't just untie herself from him like that, even if her heart told her that she belonged right next to Quinn.

The blonde shook her head. "Then why can't you choose me, Rachel? Obviously there must be something holding you back. I'd hoped that... that if I showed you how connected we could be by becoming one with you, you'd realise that you belong next to me. _Not_ Nick."

The brunette felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach just by the mere sound of Quinn's sweet words. They warmed her heart in a way that no other thing had ever done, and she knew that Quinn was right. She'd felt it too, when they'd finally crossed that line. It was like everything just fit – there was no awkwardness, no weirdness. Even if they'd known each other for a long time and crossing that line should be difficult, it really wasn't. It just made sense with them, and everything... had been perfect. She wanted to be next to Quinn, she wanted to share her bed and her body with her, but it seemed that that was an impossible thing to do without hurting Nick. She cared about him so much, but every second spent with Quinn she was starting to realise that she cared about the blonde in an entirely different way, and that that way was much stronger and all-consuming.

"I want to be with you." Quinn continued, her eyes locking forcefully with Rachel's, as it was pretty clear to the brunette that she was _very_ serious. "I want to love you, marry you... I want to carry your babies and have a family with you, Rachel. But all of that... I can't do that when you're still with Nick."

Shaking her head, Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. All of those things, it was things that she knew she also wanted, but hadn't had the guts to admit to anyone, let alone herself, that she wanted. "Don't act like you're the only one in the wrong here. _You_ have a girlfriend." the brunette said then, "You're cheating on Jessica."

Quinn wrote that off entirely. "Jessica doesn't matter. I only love her like a friend, and I already told her that we can't be together anymore. She also knows why." the blonde paused, and Rachel felt her heart speed up in worry – if Jessica knew, who was to say that she wouldn't rat them out to Nick? But Quinn knew her too well, apparently, because she quickly reassured her, "Don't worry, she won't say a thing. We were never serious, and Jessica's a good person, she supports me."

Rachel licked her lips. "So I'm the evil one here, is that what you're saying?"

The blonde didn't want to meet her eyes, and Rachel knew exactly what that meant. Quinn thought she was horrible too, she thought that she was evil for cheating on Nick, for not making up her mind. And the worst part of it was, that she was _right_. She was evil. She couldn't even allow herself to get mad at Quinn or feel hurt by her thoughts, because they were certainly true. She was a cheater, a liar.

"You're not evil..." Quinn softly whispered then, reaching a hand out to carefully caress her cheek, "You're just stuck at a crossroads right now, and you have to make a choice." she softly looked at her, so delicately, in a way only she could do. "Just please do it soon... Every second you wait, it's going to be even harder. And Rachel I... I want to be with you so badly. _So_ badly."

"I want to be with you too." Rachel whispered, and she was a bit surprised when she actually _really_ meant it. She'd known for a long time that she desired to be with Quinn, that she was attracted to her, in love with her. But the thought of being with her the way that the blonde had just said, it hadn't really crossed her mind before. But now that it was out there in the open, it caught her by surprise that that was exactly what she wanted, too. To be with Quinn. Have a family with her, get married and grow old together.

A soft smile slowly started forming itself on Quinn's face. "Then be with me, Rachel. Won't you?"

Rachel knew that it was what she wanted, it was the right thing to do. The question was just whether or not she could handle going through something like that. She was going to have to though, if she wanted to be with Quinn. And she did, more than anything. But than meant breaking Nick's heart. "I will." she heard herself promise then, and honestly, it felt like a stone fell from her heart when she finally decided to do something, "I need some time to... to get everything together. Like, a few months. It should be after the première of _West Side Story_, I can't handle the stress of moving right now. Is that okay?"

The blonde leaned over then and forcefully pulled her in for a hug. "That is okay, Rach. That is so, _so_ okay." she glanced up at her, love shining through her eyes, "I know that you can't just leave, and I don't want you to be stressed with that while you're working so hard." she licked her lips. "After the première, we'll be together. This is the moment in your career that you can't mess up, but... Fuck it, I can't wait."

"I'll probably have to move in here, you know." Rachel whispered into her ear, her breath ghosting across the pale skin beneath her, "Nick will probably kick me out of the apartment, and you and I will have to live two people here... in this apartment of yours. I have no idea where we're going to place my piano_ and_ my record collection." she finished. She was joking slightly, because yes, they were probably going to have to fit in here, the both of them, but it didn't worry her in any way. She was just easing the mood because she appreciated the way that Quinn was so willing to wait for her. It was true, the stress of separating and moving was not going to be good for her right now, not on top of the stress of the première that was just within her reach.

Quinn was doing this for her, and Rachel was going to show her how much she appreciated that. She was still new to this lesbian sex, but she was going to give it all she got. She tumbled them over, using all of the force in her body, and landed on top of the blonde with a wicked smile on her face. Quinn had an expectant look on her face, and Rachel leaned down to kiss her fully on the lips.

"Excuse my lack of experience in this particular area, but I will do my best to not let you down." she seriously joked, before she trailed a line of kisses down Quinn's body and ended right between her legs. Staring at Quinn's nakedness before her, Rachel had to tell herself that she could do it, before she took in a deep breath and decided to go for it.

**-Faberry-**

Just as Kurt left to go to the bathroom, her cell phone started ringing. She picked it up from the table, hoping to herself that it might be Quinn asking for them to get together later, but found Nick's smiling face looking out at her instead. It was as if he knew exactly when she'd be alone so she had to pick up the phone. Not that she didn't want to talk to him but... she'd been avoiding him this week. A _little_. It wasn't on purpose, she just had difficulties looking him in the eye.

Holding the phone to her ear, she swallowed and answered him, "Hi honey." she said.

"Hey Rach," Nick replied casually, "where are you? I just got home, and I thought you'd be here..."

"Oh..." Rachel paused, "Did I forget to text you? I'm with Kurt." she cursed herself for not remembering to inform her husband of her evening plans, and she cursed Nick for being so unbelievably clingy lately; it was so annoying. "I'm sorry. I had evening plans with him, I didn't mean to upset you."

Nick was quiet for a few seconds. "It's not... It's okay, Rach, I was just looking forward to an evening with you, that's all." he took in a deep breath, "Lately I just feel that you're out of reach, I don't know... I keep saying to myself that it's just until after the première is over, that you just need distance because of the stress that comes with the show, I just... I miss you."

Rachel could immediately feel the guilt sweeping over her. She hated that he was feeling like that, because she didn't want to upset or hurt him. "I miss you... too." she whispered, and she was surprised when she didn't even need to lie; it was the truth and it came bursting out of her. How could she still miss him like this, when she was planning on leaving him to be with Quinn? "I love you." she continued, and the words almost got caught in her throat. Those words, they were true, too.

Nick let out a small chuckle, "I don't doubt that, honey. I love you too, my darling, my sweet."

"I'll be home later." she hurried to whisper, "We'll spend the rest of the night together. I promise."

He hummed in response, "Sounds swell, Rach. Are you sure that... you're okay though? Nothing's wrong between us, right?"

Rachel swallowed that lump in her throat. "Nope." she said, in a voice that didn't even sound like her own, "I'll see you soon. Bye." she hung up the phone quickly and threw it on the couch next to her. Biting back a sob that threatened to escape her throat after that conversation, she buried her head inside of her hands and tried to calm herself down. She hated this, she hated lying to him, even if it hadn't even been a huge lie in that conversation. But in general... she kept lying to him, all the time, and it was messing up her head.

She was surprised by Kurt, as he entered the room again and delicately said her name. Almost jumping out of her seat, she turned her eyes up to look at her best friend, who was watching her with concern written on his face. Oh Kurt. He knew her so well, and he could see that something was really wrong, that something was messing with her. And what could she do to resist his do-tell look? Nothing. She could never say no to him that way, and honestly – she needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn't Quinn. Kurt knew some of the things that had happened with her and Quinn, but he didn't know the uh... most recent developments.

"Who was on the phone?" he asked her while he took a seat next to her on the couch and wrapped an arm protectively around her. He was such an amazing friend like that, and he softly caressed her bare arms. "Sweetie?" he continued to pressure her.

"Nick." she simply answered him, not wanting to meet his eyes. She knew that she'd brought this mess on herself but she couldn't even admit it to him. If she told him everything that had happened, how far she and Quinn had gone, he was going to judge her, too. Of course he would, he valued honesty, fidelity, and she was not minding that at all right now – even if those were two things she used to consider most important to her as well.

Kurt blinked. "Did he upset you? What's going on?"

She turned her head to look at him, her eyes flickering over his gorgeous doll-face. She could count his freckles right now, if she wanted to. She stared right into his blue eyes, and somehow, he just understood what she was trying to say, but couldn't get across her lips.

"No!" he said, pulling slightly back. "You and Quinn? _Really_ you and Quinn?"

Her look – apparently – said it all.

He blinked. "Wow."

"Yes." she agreed and nodded her head.

"So what's-" he immediately adjusted himself on the couch, getting into one of his gossip-moods, wanting to know everything. "-what's the plan, Divalicious? This is not like you, I have to say that I am surprised and a bit worried." he paused and fidgeted slightly next to her, "Talk to me."

"I don't know what I'm doing, Kurt." she said to him then, finally talking, breathing just a bit easier because he was there next to her, listening, "I feel so guilty all the time, lying to him constantly. Like I should just tell him. I'm such an idiot. I know he notices, because I'm pulling away, and I just... I'm such a horrible liar. A _cheater_."

Kurt placed a comforting hand on her knee and said, "You are... planning on telling him, right? To be with Quinn?"

Rachel managed a soft smile, "I am so in love with that woman, Kurt... and I want to be with her. I just – I feel so bad about hurting Nick, because he's such an incredible guy." she stopped, but just for a second, because she knew how stupid she was sounding right now, "Look, I know that I, that I'm also hurting him now by cheating on him, but... He's going to break when I leave."

"I am not gonna lie, he is." Kurt said then, quickly, spitting the truth out like he was ripping off a band-aid, "He worships the ground you walk on, Sweetie. And he will be crushed. But he'll also find the strength to move on, because that's who he is. It'll take some time, but he'll get through it. And he deserves the chance to find someone new."

Rachel cast her look down once more, studying the texture of the couch thoroughly for a few seconds. Why did the thought of Nick finding someone else upset her? It didn't have the right to! _She_ didn't have the right to feel upset about it. She was the one who was ruining everything, and if she didn't want to have him find someone new, she shouldn't have found someone new. She was fairly familiar with the old saying that said _you can't have your cake and eat it too_, but right now she really wanted to! But that wasn't fair to him, and she knew it. "I know." she whispered, looking up again and meeting Kurt's eyes.

He offered her a sincere supporting smile and said, "Sweetie. Tell me what's going on. What have you and Quinn agreed on?"

"She gave me until after the première." Rachel blurted out then, nodding her head, "Yes, she – she said that she didn't want me more stressed right now, so I'm waiting the last few months, and then... I'm telling him." she paused, and had to look away for a second because the mere thought of what was going to happen brought tears to her eyes, "Quinn is so great, Kurt. She's so patient with me, and I, I love her deeply already, but – why am I still attached to Nick, too? It doesn't make sense!"

Kurt reached a hand out then, and turned her head, thereby forcing her to look at him, "Rachel," he firmly said, "of course you're going to feel attached to Nick. He's your husband. He's been your one and only for roughly ten years. He knows you better than perhaps anyone else. It's not going to be easy to leave him, but it's a choice you're making. And I know Quinn well enough to know that she understands that. If she doesn't, she's certainly changed since high school." he shrugged his shoulders and watched her with loving eyes, "If she's letting on that she can't wait, it's just because she needs to be close to you."

Rachel couldn't help the small smile that came to her face then; Kurt just knew exactly what to say, how to support her, and make her feel better. He was truly the most amazing friend she had ever had, and she hadn't known what to do without him. She remembered how her life had been before she and Kurt became friends in high school, and it had truly been awful. She'd had her goals, but no one to share them with, no one who understood. Kurt was amazing, and she loved him so much. "Thank you, Kurt... You're the best."

"I'm here for you, Divalicious." he whispered into her ear as he pulled her close, hugging her tightly. "No matter what happens, I'm here for you." he promised, and she immediately felt more secure, and more certain about this.

If things got messed up, Kurt would always have her back. Blaine might look a bit odd at her because he was close with Nick and he had values that were – perhaps – even more important to him than theirs, but... Kurt was never going to leave her alone, no matter how much she might mess up with this.

"I love you." Kurt whispered then, as he pulled back. He stared firmly into her eyes, really trying to convey his claim, and she believed him with everything she had.

She couldn't help the small smile that came to her face then, "I love you too."

He clapped his hands together and said, "Alright! So onto happier things, I presume? Rachel, I truly hope that you have put tickets aside for me and Blaine for the première?"

She chuckled, "Of course I have! I wouldn't want to go on stage that evening without you guys right there. You're the only people who really understand what this moment means to me."

"I can't wait to see you as Maria." Kurt said then and reached for his glass of red wine to take a short sip. "You're going to be the most incredible Maria there ever was. I still remember you when we did the show in high school. You were amazing, and you've only gotten better."

"The show feels really good though." Rachel said then, happy to be able to discuss this with him, an equal who knew just as much about this as her, "I have a good feeling about this Kurt. The director is giving the show a new edge, and all the choreography. It's so innovative! Brittany is really doing a wonderful job with us! I think this revival is going to be fantastic. I know that every lead actress has to say that, but... I just see several Tony nominations coming our way."

Kurt grinned giddily and clapped his hands together in delight again. "Oh sweetie! I'm so happy for you!"

Rachel couldn't hide the giant grin on her face either. "It just feels right, you know?"

He nodded his head, "You're so incredibly talented, Rachel. I truly feel that this is going to be the year that you win your first Tony."

Rachel reached for her glass of red wine and took a long sip. "You do?" she questioned her best friend, and she couldn't help but wish that he was right. If this was the year that she won her first Tony, and the year that she left her husband to pursue a lesbian relationship with her old college crush... it was truly going to be a year of change. And she couldn't wait. Somehow, she just couldn't wait.

**-Faberry-**

It was difficult for her to have a nice night with Nick. She was trying, she really was, but somehow she just couldn't get into the mood. No matter how she tried to get romantic with him in the way they used to do, she just couldn't shake off the thought of Quinn. It sounded absolutely silly, but somehow she felt as if she was cheating on her by getting intimate with Nick.

Why did she feel like this? Why did she feel so connected with Quinn after only having 'been' with her for such a short time? And Nick, her husband of many years, was the one she didn't want to be with? Maybe it just proved that she was making the right choice by leaving Nick and going for it with Quinn. Perhaps it was in the cards for her that this was the way it was supposed to go.

She just felt so stupid for wasting all of these years somehow. Where wouldn't she and Quinn have been today, if she'd decided to give Quinn a chance back in college, if she hadn't been afraid? It seemed like they could have come so far already, and where was she now? Stuck in a marriage she wanted to get out of, but found very difficult to leave. Married to a man she loved, but had no desire to have children with. It was so silly and stupid.

But she tried to comfort herself by believing that there was a reason for everything. That somehow it was meant to be that she had married Nick; that he had helped her grow somehow, get her ready to accept who she was and what her purpose in life was. And he _had_ been good for. Even though he had treated her like a princess, she had somehow grown up more and become slightly less selfish, and he'd supported her career and helped her get further than she could have done on her own; his connections had given her connections, and now she was where she was. Perhaps that was the way it had all been planned; and now she was ready to move on, to really be happy with Quinn, the woman she loved.

Everything felt wrong with Nick, as she ran her hands over his naked chest. She had only touched Quinn's soft body a minimum of times, but she had already gotten used to it; how soft and nice it felt, when she ran her fingers over her delicate skin. She had gotten used to a handful of breast instead of Nick's rough chest. She loved running her fingers through Quinn's long blonde locks, and now Nick's short curls felt wrong.

She loved Quinn's curves, her breasts, her hips, her butt and her thighs; compared to this, Nick's muscular form was just downright boring and tough. Everything felt wrong, and she couldn't get into it, no matter what she tried. No matter how Nick tried to kiss her, and entice her by softly touching her in all the right places that used to do it just right for her.

"You're so beautiful, baby." he huskily whispered into her ear, and his voice was just wrong, too. It wasn't delicate like Quinn's, but deep and manly.

She wanted to go through with this; she wanted him to see that she still loved him, that nothing was wrong. But how could she sleep with him when Quinn was on her mind all the time? She couldn't shake the blonde off.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, and suddenly, it wasn't Nick's rough body on top of hers, but Quinn's soft feminine curves. The entire scenario changed, and everything around her was Quinn. She could even remember the way she'd smelled when they had been in her bed; she could remember the way she felt, the way she sounded; her soft moans in her ears.

"Hey," Nick broke her out of her thoughts and turned her face to make her look at him, "where did you go?"

She paused, "What?"

He smiled softly at her, in confusion, "Where did you just go? You just blanked out entirely."

She felt the panic rise in her body, "No!" she hurriedly answered, and suddenly he was very heavy and awkward on top of her, "What? I'm right here, baby..." she lied in a whisper, even though she had been completely gone, thinking about something else.

"Don't lie to me," he said, holding her chin a little tighter when she tried to turn her head, "you just went somewhere."

She stared softly at him, her brown eyes gazing over his face; a face that showed so much hurt and betrayal. And she hated herself for doing this to him, hurting him that way. She didn't blame him for feeling neglected, for feeling that she wasn't sharing this moment with him, because that was true. She wasn't there, and he could see that, because he knew her. "No." she said, cursing her voice for outing her, for going pitchy, "No Nick, I'm... here. Let's just continue, please. It was good. I'm here." she rattled off, clutching his firm shoulders tightly.

He shook his head at her. "Sorry," he mumbled, crawling out of her grip and falling heavily onto the mattress next to her. "I can't. The mood is ruined." he breathed, turning his head slightly away from her and refusing to meet her eyes.

"But Nick, it's just-" she bit her tongue. She was going to apologise, to make up some lame excuse for her behaviour, but she couldn't. She couldn't get another lie across her lips; she couldn't be dishonest with him. "I'm sorry." she just settled for saying.

"Rachel," Nick said then and turned his head to look at her, their faces inches apart, "I know you said that we're good, but something is clearly wrong."

His voice, his eyes, they were so intense, and she simply couldn't get herself to lie. She had to tell him. "Yes, it's..." her voice cracked, and she tried to force the words across her lips, to tell him about Quinn and everything that had happened, but somehow – even if she had every intention to do it – she couldn't, "...the show. Like you said." she breathed, "I'm just stressed with the première and everything. It will all be better after that."

He stared at her, and she could tell by his look that he believed her, trusted her.

All she could think though, was: _Yes... it will be... Because I'm going to leave you to be with Quinn._

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for your support! It means so much to me to read your kind reviews, they really make me smile :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too, things are moving forward!<em>

_So what did all of you guys think of the last few episodes of Glee? I loved Nationals, but Goodbye was very disappointing to me somehow. What are your thoughts? _

**_Disclaimer; _**_I don't own Glee! _


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

Staring at the phone, Quinn debated whether or not she could do it.

It was right there in front of her, the phone. All she had to do was pick it up, dial her mother's number, and talk to her. She was eager to talk to her, to tell her about everything, but she was also nervous. Her mother had called her a few times this past week, each time leaving a message, telling her to call back, but Quinn hadn't done so. She was nervous because she knew that when she finally talked to her mother, she wouldn't be able to keep her happiness to herself.

She wanted to share her new-found love with somebody she really cared about; Santana and Brittany knew, of course, but she wanted her mother to know too. She wanted the entire world to know, if possible. But especially her mother and her sister. There was just something inside of her that was itching to burst the news out. She knew that her mother would be so thrilled to hear that she'd finally found someone; Judy always went on and on about how she was expecting to get a daughter-in-law someday, and that Quinn ought to work less and find a girl. Quinn had had girls, of course, but she had never told her mother about them, because they hadn't been serious. She didn't want to introduce some random girl to her mother and her sister (and _her_ husband and kids); when she brought someone home it was going to be that special someone. A girl that wasn't going to become a part of something, then leave her family behind again. They were a small family after her mother kicked her father out, and Quinn saw no point in getting anyone's hopes up.

But Rachel... Oh Rachel. She was going to be that girl, and Quinn was practically bursting to let her family know – and then later meet her. Which was why she was now trying to gather up the courage to call her mother. Even though Quinn was excited to let her know, she was still nervous about what her reaction was going to be; what she was going to say.

She had to do it though, she simply had to. She was going to pick up that darn phone, dial that number and tell her mother that she was now in a relationship. _You can do it, you can do it, you can do it, _she chanted to herself, before she spun around in her office chair and looked outside through the window. It was a bright and sunny day, and it suited Quinn's happy mood perfectly.

Holding the phone to her ear, Quinn waited patiently for her mother to answer.

"Quinnie!" she eagerly greeted her, and Quinn could just imagine her; sitting joyfully in her backyard and enjoying a glass of sprinkling water. That's right, her mother had been sober for six years now, and Quinn was so proud of her.

The blonde smiled warmly to herself, "Hi Mom." she greeted

Judy gushed, "I've been leaving you so many messages, Quinn! Why are you only answering me now? I'm your mother, surely you must have time for me in your busy, busy New York life!"

Quinn could just hear that truthful sarcasm in her every word, "Sorry, Mom, I've been... busy." she flatly replied. Her heart was beating hotly in her chest, and she had to keep the words from bursting out of her before she was ready.

"Your sister is doing very well, so are the kids. They got a dog, did you know that? I'm not sure how much you and Frannie keep up with each other, but it's the cutest little puppy, Quinnie, I'm telling you, it's downright adorable." her mother rattled off, and Quinn could only nod and stare out of her window at the blue sky. She did know about the puppy; Frannie had posted a picture of the kids with it on Facebook, and Quinn had liked her status. "...well enough about me!" her mother finally said, "How are you, Sweetie? Everything okay with you?"

Quinn re-crossed her legs and sighed, "I'm good. I'm working a lot, still working out, trying to stay in shape, and uh..." she licked her lips, finally getting to the point; finally reaching what she _really_ wanted to say to her mother. "I met someone."

There was quiet on the other end of the line for a very long time. Almost as if her mother almost couldn't believe what she was hearing, as if she thought that she had heard incorrectly. "Oh my God!" she suddenly burst on then, and now Quinn got a mental image of her mother doing a happy-dance in her summer dress, "Quinnie! Is that right! That's so great! I can't believe it! Have you really met a girl!"

"Don't sound so surprised, Mom, I'm not that unattractive, am I?" Quinn joked. She only joked, because she knew that her mother didn't believe that Quinn couldn't score someone, that a girl wouldn't fall for her looks, but simply because it was her own fault that her mother reacted the way she did.

"Oh Quinnie," Judy gushed, "I am so happy for you! You must tell me everything! Who is she? How does she look? What's her job? Where did you meet? What's her name? And most importantly – when can we _meet_ her?"

Quite taken aback by the eagerness that her mother was showing, Quinn let out a short laugh. "Well it's..." she licked her lip; she could start by answering all of her mother's questions one by one, but there was also a much easier way to simply tell her. "It's Rachel Berry." she finished. "From high school."

Again, her mother was quiet, but this time it was really only for a few second. "The Rachel with the darling voice? That little firecracker?"

Quinn laughed, "Yes mom, that's her." the blonde felt like her cheeks were about to fall off because she kept smiling constantly, but it was a nice feeling; it was wonderful to finally feel so happy, to be in love, "We uh – we just met up again, recently. And she... she fell for me, like I fell for her, I guess."

"But-" her mother cut herself off, clearly confused, "I thought that she was married? Wasn't she married?"

The blonde didn't want her mother to know under which circumstances that they had started their relationship; her mother was so proud of her, of what she had become, how she had grown up since high school, and she didn't want to ruin her perfect picture. Not by saying that she'd helped her girlfriend cheat on her husband. That unfortunately meant that she had to lie to her mother; it wasn't going to be a big lie, simply just a lie that changed the truth a little bit. "She, uh, she was married..." Quinn quickly said then, nodding her head to herself, "Yes, she was married to this guy named Nick, but she's in the process of leaving him right now."

Technically – that wasn't a lie. Because even though Nick didn't know that she was in the process of leaving him, Rachel knew, and she was in the process, just not openly.

"Oh Quinnie," Judy whispered, "I hope that she's okay and not too messed up to be happy with you?"

"We're happy." Quinn assured her mother. And that was also the truth, because no matter how messed up things might seem with the situation they were in right now, she believed that they were. She, herself, had never been happier. And she could see that Rachel was happy, although slightly sad that she was leaving a ten-year marriage behind.

"Then I'm happy." Judy sighed. "I still see her fathers sometimes in town, you know. They're so proud of their little girl and the name she's made for herself in that Broadway-thing..." Judy trailed off, and Quinn chuckled to herself because her mother barely knew what Broadway was, "I can't wait to meet her someday, Quinnie, the girl who stole your heart..."

Quinn was just so happy that her mother was accepting of her, of this relationship. That was no thrilled to hear that Quinn had met someone, that she was even eager to meet Rachel. It was everything that Quinn wanted; to have a family that supported her. It had never been like that when her father was around; kicking him out was surely the best thing her mother had ever done, both for herself and her two girls. Quinn couldn't wait to give her the same happiness that Frannie had done with her children; Quinn wanted to give her mother that blessing as well and then invite her to stay with her and Rachel over Christmas. It was going to be amazing when things fell into place, and she and Rachel came to that place someday... had a family together. "She's great." Quinn whispered.

Judy laughed, "You sound so in love, Sweetie!"

The blonde psychologist spun around in her chair to take a look at the clock on her wall; she had a lunch-date with Santana soon, "I am in love, Mom. She's uh, she's the girl I'm gonna marry."

Judy answered that by squealing into the phone.

Laughing again, Quinn answered her mother, "Don't get excited, hey! It's... way in the future. She's not even properly divorced yet."

"Still," Judy promptly answered, "I can be excited! It's the only one of your girlfriends I'll ever get to meet!"

Quinn felt really bad that – apparently – her mother had long ago figured out that she was seeing girls, but that she hadn't told her. That must have made her mother feel really bad, to know that her daughter didn't want to share something like that with her, didn't want her in that part of her life. It wasn't exactly a good thing for a daughter to do. "Yeah," Quinn mumbled, "sorry about that."

Judy replied, "It's okay, I knew you were going to let me meet her when she was really special."

"I love you, Mom." Quinn softly replied.

Judy hummed, "I love you, too." she sighed. "But I've gotta go now, Sweetie, I have a yoga class after lunch, and I need to make a sandwich."

Quinn promised, "I'll call you soon."

"I know." Judy answered, before she hung up the phone, and Quinn was left in her office, alone, but feeling quite happy and contend. She couldn't believe that she'd been reluctant to tell her mother. It had gone well. She hadn't burst everything out like nothing could stop her, but instead they had had a nice conversation about it, and she had shared her happiness with her mother.

Her phone let out a quiet ding, and she looked down to see that a message had ticked in; unlocking her phone, she realised it was from Santana: _Get down, here, bitch! I'm hungry, and I'm about to get my eats on! _it said. Quinn chuckled to herself and quickly typed back a message: _Be right there, bitch, don't get your panties in a twist! ;-)_ before she practically jumped out of her office chair and grabbed her purse.

Somehow, she felt like she was bursting with energy.

She couldn't have been happier.

**-Faberry-**

She was starting to panic a little bit, because the time was getting closer. You know, the time where she, Rachel Barbra Berry, was going to leave her husband. And it was starting to _really_ freak her out. It was sort of dawning on her now, that she was really going to leave him. She was going to leave everything that they'd created together; she was going to be without their wonderful apartment with the huge, bright rooms. She wasn't going to grow old with him, celebrate more anniversaries, carry his children and then watch them grow up and give her grandchildren. Everything she had pictured for the last ten years wasn't going to happen. She was going to be without the life that she knew. And she was going to be without _Nick_.

It was now that it really hit her. She wanted to be with Quinn, it wasn't because she was now getting second thoughts, no, it was because she was starting to realise that it meant that she wasn't going to be with Nick. She had no idea why that thought hadn't settled completely inside of her before; maybe she hadn't had half of a mind to really think it over, or maybe she had just pushed the thought so far into the back of her mind as possible to keep herself from admitting the truth.

It was horrible. It was downright horrible. Rachel was starting to realise the consequences, and she came to see that it was exactly that; horrible. It wasn't like she didn't _want_ to. She had every desire to be with Quinn. The future they had started planning lately was so amazing, and Rachel could really picture it happening; all of those things that Quinn had mentioned, they seemed incredible in Rachel's eyes. The only problem was just that... to get all of those things with Quinn, she was going to have to leave Nick.

And she _loved_ him. She really and truly loved him. Some might say that if she really loved him, she wouldn't have treated him the way that she had been for the past few months, but – just because she had done that, it didn't mean that she didn't love him. She knew that she was an awful person for doing that to the man she loved, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. Really thinking about it now, she was starting to realise that the love she felt for Nick – albeit strong – was no longer a romantic love. Somehow, she had slipped from loving him the way that a wife loves her husband and into the way that a friend loves another friend; she was still attracted to him, but nowhere near in the way that she was attracted to Quinn. And the desire she had for Quinn, the love she was already feeling, it was much stronger than what she was feeling for Nick.

So it was only the right thing to do to leave him, even though it was breaking her heart. She was afraid that he might never speak to her again after the divorce was finalized. And she wouldn't even blame him if that was the case; she wouldn't have spoken to him if he had cheated on her, treated her the way she had treated him. She was a horrible person. A horrible, _horrible_ person. And he was just the kindest man a woman could ever want. She hoped with all of her heart that he would find someone new (even though that thought was still upsetting her, too) that could love him the way he truly deserved. Someone would carry his children, someone who had more time for him, the way he really needed.

All of these thoughts went around and around inside of her head; truly like a merry-go-round. It was confusing her, and she had a difficult time trying to make sense of everything. Even work, which never used to happen. They were working fourteen hours a day right now, trying to get ready for the première that was just around the corner now, and she couldn't keep her focus. When she'd been dancing with Brittany and a few of the dancers, rehearsing _I Feel Pretty_, she hadn't been able to remember the choreography that Brittany had gone over with her so many times. It had been time to get it staged and have the director's inputs and she'd messed it up entirely, making Brittany look bad.

When she also messed up the lyrics, the director had pulled her aside to give her a piece of his mind;

"Rachel, what's happening to you? _You_ don't mess up like this. You're always on top of everything, you know your lyrics, and you know your choreography! What's going on with you?"

At this point she'd practically been in tears; this was a director that she'd worked with before, someone she trusted, and someone who trusted her. They knew where they stood with each other, and this had never been a problem before. She'd been upset and fought to get the words out, "I- I don't – I just... I'm having some problems at home. I'm sorry. It shouldn't affect my job like this, I just- I have a lot of my plate right now. I'll do it better this time. I promise."

"Fix it!" he'd just told her and pointed his finger dangerously close to her face, "_Fix it now_!"

And after that conversation she'd gone onto that giant stage and looked into the empty theatre and closed her eyes. She'd breathed in the room, the atmosphere, and decided to remember why she was there; she'd pushed everything aside and told herself to get it together. Things might be rough at home, but it wasn't going to affect her on the job. She had to do this; this was her livelihood, it was the part of a lifetime and she'd – hopefully – win a Tony for this. Even if she was leaving Nick, it shouldn't affect her art. Nick wouldn't want it to, she was certain of that.

Just like that, she'd managed to get her head into it and knocked the next go-through out of the park perfectly. Her director had given her an appreciative smile and told her that if she just did it like that on the première, she was going to get outstanding reviews.

That had eased her worries a little bit; she had been able to go through the rest of the day, focused entirely on her job – not on her marriage. Now she was sitting in her dressing room, it had been a long day and it was 11pm, and she had be back at the theatre at 7:30 the next morning. She was tired and sore, but she was happy with the work that they had done. She was going through her phone and there were several text messages from Quinn, Nick and both of her fathers. Quinn was missing her and asking if she'd have time to meet up tonight. All she wanted was to go home to the blonde's apartment and crawl into bed next to her and sleep, but she knew she couldn't do that now, because there was another bed that she had to crawl into this evening. All that eased her mind was that she knew that in the future – it would be Quinn she'd snuggle up to after a rough day at work.

Nick had just sent her the usual marriage texts. Asking her when she'd be home, if he had to make her dinner, and what he'd bought at the store. She didn't really want to answer them either, because she'd be home in roughly thirty minutes and that ought to do it. Now her fathers... they were wanting to talk to her, apparently. They seemed pretty eager in all of their texts and she was wondering what they'd gotten themselves into now, and whether or not it was just their silliness.

She knew that they'd absolutely hate her if she didn't call them back right this instant, so she gulped down a half bottle of water in one go, and dialled their number. Putting the phone on speaker, she started to get the few of her things together that she had to bring home.

"Sweet pea!" both of her fathers greeted her on the phone.

"What an hour to call us at!" her Daddy reprimanded her.

Her Dad continued, "Have you been working late?"

Rachel chuckled; her fathers never ceased to amuse her. When she was younger she used to be just as silly as them, and she had no idea how that could possibly be true. Thankfully the bright lights of New York City had changed her just a bit, and she now had a more 'normal' view on life, even though she still carried a lot of traits from back home. "Yes, we just finished. I'm changing as we speak. I need sleep." she finished off with a yawn for good measure.

"Have to get home to that darling husband of yours, don't you?" Leroy questioned her, and she could just see him, wriggling his eyebrows right back at home, in Lima.

She bent down to tie her sneakers, almost ready to go. "Yup!" she said, trying desperately to sound enthusiastic about that, "I need my man to sleep, Dads, you know that."

Hiram hummed, "Oh do we really, honey?"

Rachel had no idea why, but suddenly she was getting a very odd vibe from them – what could they possibly be getting at? It was her father's last comment that had done the trick; it seemed odd to her, something neither of her fathers would ever say on normal circumstances. What did they want now? What did they think they knew, or – this scared Rachel – what_ did_ they know? She licked her lips, "What do you mean? I've been sleeping next to him for ten years, it's hard to be without him."

"Honey we love you," Hiram continued then, and he was getting his seriousness on, "which is why we're just going to come right out and say this."

Leroy added, "We met Judy Fabray accidentally at the storey today, and..."

Rachel felt her heart beat in her throat. Oh holy Streisand, what had happened? She was fearing for this...

Hiram continued, "And she said the darnedest thing!"

Chuckling, Leroy added, "She was under the impression that her beautiful blonde daughter Quinn is in a relationship with our stunning daughter Rachel!" he paused, "Imagine the faces we had to make to keep from letting our surprise show! We just nodded and made pretend, but as soon as Judy was out of earshot, your Daddy Hiram was shocked, Darling,_ shocked_!"

"Tell us what's going on, Rachel Barbra!" Hiram finished with a stern voice.

She wasn't prepared for this; not even remotely. She had no idea how it had happened that her fathers suddenly knew; of course it could only go through Quinn to Judy, but Rachel was certain that Quinn hadn't done this on purpose. _Of course_ she hadn't. It'd be stupid of her to go around and tell everyone that they were in a relationship when she was still with Nick. There had to be some misunderstanding hidden in there somewhere, but that didn't change the fact that her fathers knew right now, and that she couldn't lie to them.

"...Rachel..." her Dad begun to warn her.

"I'm..." she paused, not knowing how to go about this, "...leaving Nick to be with Quinn." she simply settled for saying. She ripped it off. Like a band-aid. She just hoped that she wouldn't give either of her fathers a heart attack or something.

Leroy cleared her throat, "Alright..." he mumbled, "Explain it to us, please?"

Sitting down in front of the mirror to have this conversation in the privacy of her changing room, Rachel stared into her own eyes through the mirror she'd so often done her make up in front of. She felt like she could almost see the lies in her features; as if everybody else would be able to see them too, and just know what she was doing, how she was lying. She didn't like what she was seeing, she really didn't. "I'm leaving Nick. After the première of the show, I'm going to tell him that... that I've fallen in love with Quinn and decided to be with her."

"But Sweetheart..." her Daddy begun, "I – I don't know what to say! I didn't even know you liked girls."

"Are you sure about this?" her Dad added, and there was sort of a vibe of uncertainty to his voice, "Not that we're not going to support you no matter what you choose, but... It's a big decision to make."

Looking into her own eyes, Rachel felt like she was staring straight into her own soul. She'd felt certain before when she'd said that she was sure that that was what she wanted to do, but now she was really looking into herself, and yes... This was what she wanted. She wanted Quinn. She was sure of it. "Yes... I'm sure. I want Quinn."

"Alright," her Daddy said, "I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving Nick, you know we adore him, but I'm certain that we'll absolutely love Quinn, too! Let us know if there's anything we can do to help you, okay Sweetie?"

Rachel smiled, "Alright Daddy."

"We love you!" her fathers assured her.

She already knew that, but it was nice to hear it from them, especially at a time like this where she was really doubting herself because of what she was doing. She'd always been certain that her fathers would stand by her side no matter what – the same could be said for Kurt and Blaine – but when she went ahead and did horrible things, like cheating on her husband, she could doubt it. "I love you too, Dads. Thanks for being such amazing parents." she honestly said to them. She hated that they were so far away from her, back home in Lima, because she didn't see them often enough, and right now she could really use a sandwich-hug like the ones they used to share all the time.

"You're an amazing daughter." Hiram promised her.

And Leroy added, "No matter what happens, we're so proud of you."

"Thank you." she hoarsely breathed out, before she hung up the phone and turned to stare into the mirror again; tears had gathered in her eyelashes, and she reached a shaky hand up to dry them off. All of the things that were going on in her life right now, they were just messing with her feelings. She felt like she had made very good sense of what she wanted to do, and what her life would look like in the foreseeable future, but it was still building up inside of her; needing to get out. Sometimes she felt like she was going to explode – now she was just crying a lot instead. It made sense somehow, it was what did her best when she needed to get her feelings out.

Fixing her hair and face to make sure that she looked presentable, Rachel grabbed her bag and hurried to get home.

**-Faberry-**

Rico and Rebecca were sleeping soundlessly in their joined stroller; they were right next to the open window, getting some of the fresh summer night air to cool down their heated baby bodies. They'd been fussing a little earlier when Santana had tried to feed them their heated bottles, but over all they had been angelic children today.

Now Santana was tiredly sitting by another open window and drinking a glass of red wine while smoking a much-needed cigarette. Quinn was sitting on the floor in front of her, her legs crossed Indian style, and with a glass of wine next to her as well. Her hair had been forced back in a little bun, and she had her old high school year books stacked in front of her. She was going through every each of them while she really should be working on one of her cases. She'd immediately agreed when Santana had called to ask if she wanted some company.

The Latina was pulsating on her cigarette, clearly enjoying her life at the moment, "Thanks for keeping me company tonight, Blondie. I swear, I needed some adult company that wasn't my idiotic co-workers." she rolled her eyes and blew out a circle of smoke, "Brittany is still working, can you believe it? I don't think we'll be able to spend proper time together until all the fuss with the show is done."

"Rachel is really busy too." Quinn softly replied and turned another page in the bright red yearbook from their senior year. She'd been stalking Rachel, she wasn't going to deny that, and now she was looking longingly at their last Glee Club team picture. They had their big Nationals trophy in the midst of them, and Rachel's smile was – without a doubt – the brightest.

"Hey," Santana tapped her foot annoyingly against the floor, "I'm talking to you, bitch. You can ogle later when you lie in your bed _alone_. To _masturbate_. Now – you're talking to me."

The blonde looked up from the book and smiled softly at the Latina, "Well it's clear to see that you haven't been getting any later either, because you're so tightly wound." she sipped her wine and grinned daringly.

The lawyer shook her head in a dismissive kind of way. "Yeah yeah yeah, that might very well be true. Anyway Blondie," she sighed deeply and flickered the bud of her cigarette into the makeshift ashtray that Quinn had placed for her in the windowsill, "you must be even more excited than me for this première shit to be over. I'm excited to see Britts do her magic, don't get me wrong, but – when all this shit is done, you're gonna get your girl."

"I'm trying to stay positive." Quinn replied then, feeling like this was the time to maybe share a few of her doubts with her best friend, "I don't want to pressure Rachel, but this situation cannot last for very much longer. I don't want to upset her, but sometimes it just feels like..." she stopped, not sure if it was a good idea to bring this up, because Santana would most likely lose her shit.

The Latina snapped, demanding an answer, "Not sure _what_?"

Quinn shrugged, "Sometimes I just doubt that she really wants this, you know? I mean... I don't see any action behind her words. She says she's going to leave Nick once the show has premièred, but can I really trust her on that? I haven't seen any real indication that her words are true..." Quinn stopped herself for a second, locking her eyes to the Latina's, "I can see in her eyes when she looks at me that she loves me. But is she willing to sacrifice everything? Now I'm not so sure."

"And yet you're still waiting for her to come." Santana sarcastically sneered. She grabbed her glass and took a very long sip of it, basically emptying it for all liquid, "There's something so wrong with that picture."

Brushing her fingers over one of the yearbooks, Quinn answered, "Yeah, but... I know that she loves me, and somehow, that's gotta be enough until then."

Flicking a cigarette out of the box, she popped it into her mouth and fidgeted with the lighter, "You know, Q," she said, still with the cigarette perched between her lips as she struggled the lit the flame, "I really admire your guts." she finished, and finally sucked in a deep breath and successfully lit her cigarette. She blew out a stream of smoke and took the cigarette between her thumb and pointer-finger.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "You admire me? Reeeeally?" she drew out the last word to tease her.

"Sure do!" Santana replied, very seriously, "I mean, what the fuck? If that were me, and Brittany was so indecisive... I would have flipped a long time ago."

The blonde nodded her head, "I'm impressed." she simply said.

The Latina glared at her, still pulsating on her cigarette, "Why? 'Cuz I said I admire you?"

"No!" Quinn teased her, biting back a laugh, "Because you know the meaning of the word indecisive!"

Reaching over to grab a pillow from the couch, Santana threw it at her head, and Quinn couldn't help but laugh. The brunette continued to glare at her. "Ha. Ha. You're so _funny_, Quinn Fabray!" she hissed, before downing the last of her wine and looking around, seemingly searching for something. "Where the fuck is-?"

"In the kitchen." Quinn cut her off, knowing her friend well enough to realise that she was looking for the remaining wine in the bottle she brought. "The bottle is in the kitchen." she finished, feeling herself bubble with laughter and happiness, because Santana was really entertaining her tonight.

Pushing herself off the comfortable chair, Santana stepped over the pile of yearbooks. "Shut up." she simply said, before she went into the kitchen and started making a fuss in there. Quinn was for a second worried that she was going to wake up the kids, but then again, they were very tight sleepers when they finally went down, and boy... were they down.

She opened the yearbook again and found another picture of Rachel to stare at. She simply couldn't help herself. The other woman was just... so stunningly beautiful. Her smile could make Quinn's day perfect, and her voice could make Quinn feel like she was walking on water. Everything was just better when Rachel was there, Quinn couldn't really explain it. It just was. It didn't make sense, but did it really have to? As long as Quinn felt that it was true and right, then everything was good, wasn't it? Sure, she sometimes felt that maybe Rachel wasn't really taking her wishes that much into account, but she had to live with that. It was just a period of time, right? She could handle it... Even if she felt like she wasn't being listened to as much as she deserved.

The doorbell ringing broke her out of her thoughts.

"Quinn! The door!" Santana – very correctly – observed from the kitchen. Not that Quinn hadn't figured that all out on her own, but she still thanked Santana inwardly for her obvious cleverness.

Pushing herself off the floor, Quinn glanced briefly at the two sleeping children, before she padded on her bare feet into her tiny hallway. She unhooked the chain quickly, before she unlocked her two locks and pulled the door open, not having any expectations as to who it would be, but still very surprised when she saw who it was.

_Nick_.

What the holy fucking hell was Nick doing on the other side of her door?

"Good evening Quinn, I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Nick kindly greeted her, a crooked smile on his face.

The blonde swallowed loudly, "Hi Nick." she shifted awkwardly on her feet, "No uh. Santana's … here. With the kids. What uh – what are you doing here?"

He sighed, "Can I come inside for a few minutes?"

Not knowing what the proper reaction to this situation was, Quinn stepped aside to let Nick into her home. He'd never been there before, and she had no idea how he'd gotten her address, but he was there now. She had no idea what she wanted, and although frightened that he might have figured everything out and was there to yell at her, she also couldn't help but be a little bit intrigued by his presence. He didn't seem mad or upset with her – so she somehow wanted to find out what brought him there.

She closed the door behind him and quickly waved him with her into the living room. "It's uh... it's here. Take a seat at the couch, make yourself comfortable." she rattled off, not really feeling like she could do this right now, but that she had to. She was all over the place, a very unusual feeling for her. She ended up taking a seat on the chair that Santana had just left. "What can I help you with?"

Nick fidgeted slightly with his hands in his lap, before he looked up at her, nervously. "This might sound odd... You probably think I'm crossing a line or something, but... You and Rachel used to be so close friends, and you're friends now again!" he nodded his head to himself as he talked, "You know her very well, but... You're the only person I can think of to ask this, so... I'm just gonna ask."

Now Quinn was really confused about what was going on here, but she was also curious. It was pretty clear that Nick had not found out about the two of them, but that something entirely else was on his mind. "Go on..." she urged him, trying to block out the distant sound of Santana still smacking things around in the kitchen.

"You're the only psychologist I know," he continued, shooting her an apologetic look, "but I don't really know what sort of patients you usually do, but I remember that Jessica once said that – that you handle a bit of couple's therapy, and-"

Quinn cut him off then, seriously not hoping that he was suggesting what she thought he was suggesting, "You're not seriously asking me to counsel you and Rachel, are you?" she asked him, eyes wide. That was a situation she would not end up in, no matter what it took her to get out of it. That would just be too awkward and stupid. Even if she hadn't been Rachel's mistress, the woman whom she was leaving her husband for, it would still be awkward. Best friends don't do that sort of thing for each other.

Nick quickly shook her head, "No! No no no no no!" he laughed awkwardly, "I could never ask you for that, Quinn. I just, I also ask you this because I value your opinion. And... Rachel's just been very odd lately, and to be honest-" he paused, clearly taking his time to gather some courage, "-I think she's cheating on me."

Just like that, Quinn felt her heart skip a beat.

"I know she says it's because of the show, but she's so different from what she usually is, and I can just feel it!" Nick quickly finished, and when Quinn dared to meet his eyes again, they were shimmering with tears. Of course they would be shimmering with tears. The man was doubting his wife's fidelity to him, he was allowed to be upset.

The blonde woman had no idea what to say to him. She was sitting there, supposed to be just a friend to give guidance, to give her view on things, but she was so much more than that. She was involved in this in such a different way, and she had no idea how to respond or even handle the situation.

Nick stared at her, almost begging her with his eyes to do something. "Has she been different with you? Has she told you anything?" he whispered.

Quinn just gaped at him; seriously, she just sat there, staring at a man who looked ready to break into tears. And suddenly it really hit her, what they were doing. What _she_ was doing. She was ruining this man's life, his plans for the future. She was stealing his wife of ten years and destroying everything he knew. She was such a horrible person, doing this to him – just for the sake of her own happiness. She felt guilt over-sweep her right then and there, and she realised that it had to stop. Rachel had to leave Nick, or she had to leave Quinn. There was a choice, and that choice had to be made soon – before Nick started hurting even more.

"Quinn?" Nick pressed her, desperately.

Her mouth was dry, and she just wanted water, "I – I don't... know." was all she could get out.

"Alright Nicky Wicky," Santana broke them off then, stepping into the living room with the bottle in one hand and a plate of fruit in the other, "quit whining. Your wife's busy with the show. I have the same problem right now with _my_ woman. Nothing's wrong. You're good. She loves you. Yada yada yada." she placed the things onto the coffee table and stared at him. "So now. Pick up your dignity and hurry on home to greet your wife when she gets home from work."

After that, Santana made a fuss out of getting Nick happily out of the apartment, and Quinn reached for the wine and placed the bottle to her lips. She had never been more thankful for the fact that lying came so easy to Santana.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for your kind reviews for my last chapter – I hope you enjoyed this one as well? I don't want to drag things out unnecessarily, so there première will be VERY soon! ;-) <em>

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee._


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen**

This was it.

Tonight was the night that her entire life would start to change. She was going to star in the revival of _West Side Story _in one of the most iconic roles in the history of musical theatre. She was going to knock it out of the park, receive outstanding reviews and get her first Tony. And she was going to tell her husband that she desired to divorce him, although it broke her heart, to be with someone else.

"You can do it." Rachel whispered to herself, as she glanced at her body in the full-length mirror in her dressing room; she was wearing a pretty dress and her hair was falling around her face in soft curls. She was beautiful like this, she was Maria. "This is the part of a lifetime," she told herself, brushing her hands over her costume and the invisible wrinkles on it, "and you're going to get it right."

She was nervous. Her entire body was electric, and not just because of what was going to happen tonight, but also because of what was going to happen afterwards. But mostly it was about tonight. She'd decided to push everything else out of her mind to focus entirely on this. She couldn't afford to mess up like she'd tended to do at rehearsals lately. She had to be Maria, and not Rachel. Therefore she couldn't afford to think of Quinn and Nick and the mess in her life. She had to worry about Maria's problems, feel Maria's pain when she looses Tony. That was the plan of tonight. And she was going to sing her heart out, carry every emotion on her sleeve.

Just like that, she swept every part of her life aside; wrapped it inside her heart and locked it tightly.

There was a knock on the door, and Rachel turned around to greet Brittany with a smile.

"Everyone is seated." Brittany smiled brightly, skipping across the floor and putting her arms around Rachel's torso, smiling at her through the mirror. "Santana and Quinn, then Kurt and Blaine, then Jessica, Nick, and your fathers." she paused, making her cute thinking-face. "I think I saw Shelby and Beth. There was a woman who looked like you, and a girl who looked like Quinn. That's gotta be them, right? Unless there's aliens here." she paused again, thoughtfully, "I think it was them though. Did you seat them away from the others?"

Rachel smiled warmly at Brittany, and nodded her head. "Yes." she mumbled, placing a kiss to the blonde woman's cheek. She'd – on purpose – seated Shelby and Beth as far away from Quinn as the tickets would allow her. She'd been able to get them in, like Shelby had requested, and that ought to be okay for her birth mother. She knew that she would have to greet Shelby after that show, they'd agreed on that, but she didn't want Quinn to be forced to look Shelby in the eye, and although she thought that the blonde deserved to see her birth daughter, Rachel felt like she couldn't force Shelby to let them meet by sitting them closely together.

Brittany grinned happily. "You're so smart, Rach!" she cheered.

Rachel sighed happily. "You're the best, Brittany. But we should probably find our places now though." she felt happiness surge through her, "Tonight it's happening."

Pulling back, Brittany stared seriously at her; her blue eyes locked tightly with hers and not moving away. "_Yes_." she firmly said, "Tonight it's happening."

With those words, she turned around on her heel and hurried out of the dressing room, closing the door behind her with a tiny smack. Rachel was left feeling completely speechless and shocked. Brittany wasn't stupid by any means, but it was unusual that she had such an insight; or maybe she often did, but perhaps she didn't speak of it? She'd definitely caught Rachel by surprise with this comment, because while Rachel had been thinking of Maria and _West Side Story_ when she said that it was happening, it was pretty clear that Brittany was speaking of something else entirely.

Quinn. Nick. Everything.

Tonight it was happening, wasn't it?

Rachel wasn't sure that she was quite ready for it. She'd thought that she'd give it a week or maybe two. Let herself bask in the success of the musical and let the stress leave her body. And then she'd take the bull by the horns; she'd tell Nick, pack her bags and leave.

Her phone beeped and she picked it up from the dresser, only to see that she'd had a few messages ticking in; she just hadn't heard them. She'd been too consumed in preparing herself for this moment.

Nick wrote, _Good luck, baby. I have faith in you. You're going to be amazing. This is your moment. I love you. _

While Quinn wrote, _Good luck, Rach... I know that this is your night. I'm here, watching you, supporting you, loving you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't wait to see you as Maria again; this part was made for you, my love. _

Both of those messages were so kind, so lovable, so... perfect. How was she ever going to be okay by not choosing one of them? She knew that she had to, that she had to make a choice, but... It wasn't easy. And now that her choice was made, she was going to have to live with it. She was going to have to leave Nick.

"You can do it." she told herself, nodding to herself through the mirror as she stood up and tried to calm her excitement, her nerves. _But first... Maria. _

**-Faberry-**

Rachel bad been fantastic up there. Quinn could tell that the entire audience was in awe of the singer could do with her voice. People applauded her louder than they applauded any of the other performers. Quinn had been one of them; somehow, whenever the diva finished her songs, she'd managed to slap her hands just a little louder together, just to show her enthusiasm.

She even swore that Rachel's eyes had connected with her at one point. But maybe that was just an illusion. It didn't matter to Quinn though – all she could feel was love and pride for the woman on that stage She could not believe how far Rachel had come; from the obnoxious know-it-all who thought that she was better than anyone else in Glee Club. Now she was just a full-grown woman, a woman who appreciated everything she had gotten, who deserved it, who adored her fans and worked harder than anyone else. Which was why she was the best.

Quinn couldn't wait for the day that Rachel was going to receive that Tony she was a shoe-in for. At that point, hopefully Rachel and Nick would be completely divorced and Rachel would feel ready to let Quinn accompany her to such events. She'd feel so proud to be the one next to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek before the brunette would go on stage to thank everyone, but her – Quinn – would be thanked the most. For always being there for her. For always loving her. And for always supporting her.

She could tell that Santana was very proud of Brittany too. Not that she didn't ought to be; she did, because the choreography was really amazing. But she kept clinging onto Quinn's hand when something was especially fabulous, and even if she was going to deny this afterwards (Quinn knew that she would, because, well, she knew her friend), it was pretty clear that she enjoyed this musical. And really – she should. She was once a part of it, too. And even though Rachel had amazing chemistry with the actress who played Anita, Quinn couldn't help but think that Santana and Rachel had been ever better together back in high school. Perhaps it was because their natural fury with each other had come clearly across on that stage.

They'd arrived at the last possible moment, hoping to be able to sneak in without having to talk to anyone. Yet Quinn's eyes had still locked with both of the Berry men's and she could tell that they just knew that she was doing their daughter. They hadn't seemed mad or anything, she could just tell that they knew. She hadn't crossed paths with Shelby though, which was good. She knew that she was there, and that Rachel had warned her that Quinn would be there, too. Therefore pressuring her into letting Quinn meet Beth.

It was going to be good. Quinn was nervous and excited to meet her, it was sort of overshadowing the fact that Rachel was soon going to be hers completely. This night was going to be big; she was going to talk to Beth, the girl she gave birth to roughly fourteen years ago. The little girl she held in her arms back in senior year, was no longer a little girl. She was a teenager with opinions, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Quinn just hoped that she'd like her, that they would have something in common.

They had agreed to talk at the after première party that some of the cast-members had arranged at a nearby loft. Rachel and Brittany had assured everyone that it would be no problem getting them all in. Quinn would be able to talk to Beth while Rachel could catch up with Shelby. Hopefully they wouldn't stay for too long. However... if it went well. Maybe they would like to?

Quinn could feel the nerves spreading through her body like wildfire now that it was soon. The Berry fathers had shared a cab with Shelby and Beth to the address they had, but the others were waiting for Rachel and Brittany to get there, too. They'd been waiting for awhile, but Quinn knew that it could take some time to get out of the costumes and talk to the fans who were waiting in line to give them praises.

Jessica had a supporting arm around Quinn's shoulders and Santana was tripping impatiently on their feet. She'd persuaded one of her less evil co-workers to babysit the twins, but it appeared that she wasn't entirely comfortable with it, or perhaps she was just eager to greet Brittany with a warm kiss.

"She did good." Jessica whispered into Quinn's ear, a happy smile on her face. "She was... fucking awesome."

The blonde woman nodded, "I know. I'm so... proud of her."

Santana butted in, "Did you see the shit Britts had done with those dance moves? Fuck yeah man! She's so frigging awesome!" the Latina wetted her lips and jumped a little on her feet, "She, like, kicked butt up there. I know she was just one of the Sharks, but man, she stole that damn scene!"

Nick grinned happily and nudged Santana in the side, butting into their conversation, "I think that both of our women did good, don't you Santana?"

"Divalicious always do good." Kurt said then, quickly moving pass the fact that Nick referred to Rachel as his woman (which she was, yes), but he did it to keep Quinn from hurting too much from listening to it.

"There they are!" Blaine eagerly said then, and as soon as Rachel and Brittany greeted them, arms linked, everybody started congratulating them for a wonderful show, giving plenty of hugs and kisses. Quinn caught Rachel in a tight embrace, whispered loving things into her ear, before Nick whisked the diva out of her arms and continued to kiss her deeply. Quinn immediately turned her eyes away, feeling the awkwardness, and Kurt offered her a sympathetic smile.

The blonde glanced at Brittany and Santana, who were sharing loving kisses a few feet away. She knew it was a horrible thing to feel, but she was jealous. She wanted to be able to do that with Rachel; greet her with a kiss like Santana was greeting Brittany.

"Oh, looks like our rides are here." Blaine commented, and two minutes later, Quinn was stuck in a cab with Nick, Rachel and Jessica – and could that have been more awkward? Jessica had – on purpose, Quinn could just feel it! - snatched the front seat, and Rachel was now squeezed in between Quinn and Nick in the back seat.

Quinn thought that it was pretty damn awkward, and that the situation was particularly horrific, but then she thought of how Rachel had to be feeling; squeezed in between the two of them, and she didn't feel as frustrated anymore. Rachel had to be silently panicking as this point. And even though it was horrible, Quinn couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased. Maybe if Rachel kept ending up in these situations, she'd soon realise that she _had_ to make a choice now.

The blonde offered the brunette an encouraging smile though, and gently let her finger brush across her thigh for just a second; to reassure her, let her know that she was there, supporting her, through everything.

Rachel smiled at her, but then continued to reply Nick, who was going on and on about the show and how great Rachel had been. Quinn blocked them out, deciding not to listen to what they were saying, how Nick was being such a loving husband, and how Rachel was responding to his caring words like a wife should. Quinn was absolutely positive, that if she listened, she wouldn't like what she heard. Not at all.

Other than that it was a beautiful night; the city was simmering with life and happiness. People were enjoying the heat; there were coloured lights everywhere, and people could be heard laughing above the usual noise of the busy city; cars honking, passer-bys yelling, a kid or two crying somewhere. Through her windows, Quinn saw people in love, two kids playing on the pavement, she saw an elderly couple eating an ice cream outside one of the many cafés. This was what she loved most about this city; how lively it was, all hours of the day.

Roughly twenty minutes later, Quinn was sipping a cocktail, hanging around the bar with Jessica. She was eyeing everyone inside the loft; it was packed. She couldn't see Rachel right now, as soon as they got there, she had been whisked away by her agent. But it was okay, Quinn wasn't only looking for Rachel, she was looking for Shelby and Beth, too. This wasn't exactly the scene for a girl at Beth's age, but because people weren't drunk yet, just happy, she supposed it was okay. She hoped Shelby wouldn't let Beth stay for too long, though.

"So you're gonna meet your kid." Jessica commented then; she was already on her third cocktail, just slurping them down like it was water.

"Yup." Quinn replied, letting her eyes scan the room once more. Why couldn't she see a blonde head of hair? Her stomach was turning a bit, and the nerves were taking over. She didn't want to let them take over, but she couldn't help herself. She really wasn't focusing on Rachel and the upcoming drama right now. All she wanted was to see Beth. She just hoped that... She just hoped that Rachel would be there with her. She just knew that it'd make it easier if the brunette was there to support her.

Jessica stuffed her olive into her mouth and chewed it loudly. "She gonna look like you?" she questioned then.

"Yup." Quinn just repeated, not really listening to her friend at all. She knew Jessica was just trying to irk her somehow, she'd been in that mood all day, like somehow she got something out of seeing Quinn in misery this way. The blonde shifted on her feet. Hey! Wasn't that Shelby she saw right there?

The read-head turned around and glanced at Quinn through her wild hair, which was completely array. She'd managed to make herself look somewhat presentable though. Gala wasn't really her thing, but she'd snatched a full dress in Quinn's closet and decided to wear it. Even when she went to parties, she always wore her pants and her tank-tops, that was just her look. Quinn was thankful though, that she'd at least decided to wear a dress, even if her hair was as untamed as it usually was. "I have a feeling you're tired of talking to me," Jessica sarcastically continued, "do you want me to shut up?"

The blonde simply answered, "Yes please."

Rolling her eyes, Jessica growled, "I'm gonna go now. Not because I'm _upset_, but because I spy a Rachel coming towards us, and I'm not going to be here for this family get-together." she snatched her purse from the bar, "Laters!"

Quinn sent daggers at her back, but she didn't have time to hate on her for too long, because she turned around and saw Rachel coming right towards her – with a teenager's hand tucked safely inside of her own. Shelby was right behind them, but Quinn could hardly focus on that. All she could see was... Beth.

_Beth. _Oh she was so beautiful! Quinn couldn't tare her eyes away. She was a tall kid, obviously she must have inherited her height from her father; she was already at Rachel's height, though the diva was towering above her in her high heels tonight. Beth had her hazel eyes; so like her own, and basically... everything about Beth was Quinn. Her face was just as round, her hair blonde; Quinn's came from a bottle, yes, but apparently Beth had gotten her colour from her grandmother – the same reason Quinn's sister had natural blonde hair. Everything about the way Beth moved next to Rachel was Quinn, everything... except the way that her skin was a bit darker, tanner. And the mischievous grin she had on her face? It was all Puck.

"Quinn?" Rachel softly questioned as they came to stop in front of her, Beth clinging onto Rachel's hand. "There's someone who'd very much like to meet you."

Quinn's eyes met Rachel's, and she felt like everything was said between them right then. Everything that she felt for the other woman shone right out of her, she was sure of it; her smile couldn't hide it, her eyes couldn't. And she knew that Rachel could see this as well. How much she loved her, how much she appreciated that she'd made this happen.

And then her eyes turned to meet Beth's, Beth who had eyes so much like her own. Oh God... everything whelmed up inside of her, and all she could do was just – reach forward and wrap her arms around her. She pulled the young girl towards her in a tight embrace; she might have crossed a line, pushed it a bit, perhaps Beth wasn't ready for it. But Quinn was thankful because... the girl didn't object, she was a bit stiff at first, but quickly relaxed into it and wrapped her own arms around Quinn's waist as well.

"Oh Beth..." Quinn whispered.

The young girl was quiet, but just her presence, her hug, was enough for Quinn.

The blonde woman squeezed her eyes together; she'd told herself that she wouldn't cry, but she couldn't help herself. The tears somehow managed to find their ways out of her eyes, sliding beneath her closed lids, and rolling down her cheeks. She bid back a sob, and when she opened her eyes again, she had to blink a few time to get the tears out of her blurred vision, and she locked her eyes with Shelby's for just a second, before they found Rachel's and she mouthed out a quiet 'thank you'.

This moment was nothing like she had imagined it would be. She didn't know what she had thought it would be like, she just knew that this was perfect. She finally had Beth in her arms... It had been so many years, such a long time since she was a frustrated senior in high school who convinced herself that she could get her baby back. She was so thankful that she'd come to her senses, because she could see that Beth was good – she could feel it.

Pulling back, she brushed a piece of Beth's hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Thanks for meeting me." she hoarsely whispered.

"I wanted to." Beth softly replied, her pink lips moving perfectly as she spoke.

"Do you want a coke, Sweetie?" Shelby butted in then, and Beth pulled away from Quinn, to look at her mother.

"Yes." she said, and turned to smile at Quinn again, who'd backed off a little bit.

She hated Shelby for breaking up their moment, but she also realised that the other woman had probably felt that she needed to. Quinn was manoeuvring her way into Beth's life, and although Quinn had no intention of being any sort of a mother figure to the teenager, Shelby had to feel threatened somehow. Quinn knew that she would have felt like that anyway, had she been in Shelby's shoes.

"Why don't we all get something to drink?" Rachel lightly questioned then, turning to look at Shelby first, then at Quinn with a raised eyebrow. "We can find a table and really sit down and talk?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders, not really wanting to answer. This was all up to Shelby and Beth. Shelby if she was comfortable with it, and Beth if she even wanted to.

Shelby nodded her head, "If you don't have to be with your husband, Rachel, I wouldn't mind sitting down to catch up. I think Beth has a few comments about your show, right honey?" she placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently, "She took notes throughout the entire show."

"Oh you did?" Rachel excitedly answered, and before either Shelby or Quinn could say anything, Beth had started gushing about _West Side Story _and Rachel's voice, and the two had started to make their way towards a corner where a group of round tables were.

Quinn couldn't hide her smile as she watched them go; there was something so heart-warming about seeing Rachel and Beth this way, it just made her so happy. Rachel... with her daughter. She sighed.

"So we should just get the drinks, I reckon?" Shelby coldly asked then, glancing questionably at her, with something akin to confusion in her eyes.

"I'll just get a coke for Rachel, too." Quinn mumbled, turning towards the bar, away from Shelby, "She can't hold her liquor, and this is a night to enjoy, not to get hammered."

Shelby chuckled lightly. "Yes, somehow I imagine that she would look back at that with regret, if it happened."

They both ordered something to drink and waited for a few minutes in silence while the bartender got the drinks ready. Quinn had Rachel's coke in one hand and a Cosmopolitan in the other. She zigzagged through mingling people with Shelby right on her trail, before finding the little round table where Beth and Rachel was sitting, talking. She placed the coke down in front of Rachel at the same time as Shelby placed Beth's in front of her.

"What?" Rachel questioned with a tiny whine, "A kiddie drink for me, too?"

The other three chuckled as Rachel bent her head to suck on the pink straw. Quinn took a seat next to Rachel – not Beth – and took a sip of her drink, too. She wasn't at all disappointed about how this night was turning out. Some people would probably have thought that she had the right to spend all of the evening with Beth, alone, but Quinn knew that that wasn't the case. She felt blessed to just have seen Beth today, to hug her. To sit here with her now was more than Quinn could have ever asked for. She didn't expect to get anything more out of this; she had seen that Beth was doing fine, that she was a happy young girl, and Quinn was prepared to leave it at that. If Rachel ever got to see Shelby in the future, perhaps Quinn would get to see Beth at the same occasion, and that would be wonderful. To maybe just see her once a year or something... It would be fantastic.

Quinn asked Beth then, about everything that came to mind – about her school, her hobbies, her friends, even the dog they had at home. She saw pictures on Beth's phone, she saw all of her friends and how they had fun together. She saw pictures of Beth with the other cheerleaders, and she saw how Shelby treated her wonderfully, she saw her life in pictures. Basically.

They talked for a while, and the rest of their friends seemed to realise that this was between the four of them, so no one came to interrupt. Quinn swore she saw Nick lurking nearby, casting loving glances at his wife. She couldn't blame him though, he probably wanted to enjoy this night with her, like he thought he was entitled to. On paper, he still was, even though Quinn felt in her heart that it was her job to stand by Rachel's side.

"Can you take me to meet some of your co-stars?" Beth said then, her eyes shining with happiness and eager; she was determined to make as much out of this night as possible, that was certain.

Rachel seemed to think about it for a few seconds. It was pretty clear that she wanted to, perhaps it was just difficult for her to randomly introduce a teenager to these people. Especially because most of them were starting to get a wee bit drunk...

"Take her to Brittany." Quinn leaned over and quickly whispered in her ear, a small smile playing across her face. She felt Rachel shiver beneath her.

The diva smiled thankfully at her, before she turned to Beth, "You can meet the dance instructor we had for the show? She's a friend of mine. How about that?"

Beth nodded eagerly, "Yeah!" she said.

Rachel shared a look with Shelby, probably getting permission to take her somewhere, and Quinn hoped that Shelby and Rachel had had some time earlier to be able to talk, because she'd hate it if Rachel didn't get anything out of this night – she deserved to have some time with Shelby. Or perhaps she really was getting something out of this night, too. She seemed to be enjoying playing the awesome big sister. It had to be a new feeling for a girl who was an only child.

The two of them were off, and Quinn couldn't help herself – she watched Rachel's sexy backside and her calves in those high heels, eating her up from across the room, until she couldn't see her anymore. She became one with all of the happy people, and Quinn was once more left alone with Shelby. She thought about making an excuse, figuring out a way to leave the table, because she couldn't stand to be alone with the other woman. On the other hand... she wanted to see Beth as much as possible tonight, and this was probably where Rachel and Beth would return to once they'd talked to Brittany.

"So." Shelby said then, suddenly sounding much colder, and much more like a mother than Quinn had ever heard her before. Tingles ran down her spine, as Shelby glared at her. "How long have you and my daughter been sleeping together?"

Quinn paused. Huh? Did Shelby just-? She turned to look at the other woman, eyes wide. "What?" she breathed out. She couldn't even form er proper sentence in her head right now, she was too caught by surprise, too much in shock by what Shelby had just said. How did she even know?

Shelby offered her an odd smile. "You heard me." she simply said.

Quinn took in a deep breath and told herself to snap out of it; she had to do something, to deny this. Shelby couldn't know. Quinn was positive that Rachel wouldn't want her to know. "But – we're not-" she paused, getting herself together, "Rachel and I are not sleeping together! That's absurd! Rachel's married! _And she not even gay_!"

Raising an eyebrow, Shelby just looked at her with that certain thing in her eye; like she knew that Quinn was trying to deny something that was true, as if she could see right through her and her lies. "Please, I saw the longing eyes you just sent her way when she walked. You can't hide the looks you gave her, and she gave them right back."

"There was no look." Quinn said. She felt stupid – was that really all she could say to help her and Rachel's case? Shelby was practically saying everything correctly; she'd been able to figure this out by just spending time with them for a few hours. What weren't other people thinking? Someone else had to be noticing these things, realising that something was going on. If Shelby, who by no means knew them very well, could tell – then what weren't their friends thinking?

The woman leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms across her chest. "Oh yeah?" she said then, "Quinn, I'm not going to dictate you what to do, but – I care about Rachel, and I care about you too. This isn't something you should be doing. I can see that it is more than just sex," she whispered, leaning closer to make their conversation more private, "but Rachel is a married woman. If you two want to be together, she needs to leave Nick. It's not fair to him."

Suddenly, listening to Shelby talk to her like this, hear her talk about being fair and what to do, Quinn just lost it. Who was Shelby to sit there and lecture her like this? She was a grown woman, and Shelby was just barely an acquiescence. She had no right! She had _no_ right to tell Quinn what was wrong and what was right. She was just sitting there, on her pedestal, thinking she was all that, but she was _not_ any better than them. Leaning even closer to the other woman, Quinn hissed, "Tonight your _adoptive_ daughter was talking with your _biological_ daughter. My biological daughter, was talking to the girl_ you_ gave up so many years ago." she breathed in, trying to steady her breathing, "Who are you to talk about fair? _Nothing_ about this is fair, so _don't _try to interfere in any way."

Shelby glared at her. It was pretty clear that she wanted to say something, that she wanted to retaliate, tell Quinn that she could definitely interfere and that she knew what was best. But she kept her quiet, which Quinn really appreciated. She couldn't handle having to discuss morals with Shelby right now, it was simply not the moment, nor would it ever be. In fact, she couldn't even handle being near her right now. She... she needed air.

"I'm going to go." Quinn said then, pushing her chair back and grabbing the rest of her drink. "Make sure that Beth knows I was happy to meet her and that she's welcome to contact me at any time she wants to, okay?" she whispered. She knew it was shitty of her to just go, avoid her daughter, but she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe in there anymore, and she definitely couldn't handle holding herself together.

Practically sprinting away from the table, Quinn made her way through the crowded room. She wasn't sure what to do – she wanted to leave, to get out of there, because she felt like she was suffocating. But there were so many things she had to do before so; she couldn't just leave. Jessica would be worried, Santana would hate her. Sensing a brush of fresh air, Quinn spun around herself, only to realise that there was an open balcony door just in her sight. Not caring which feet she stepped on, she hurried outside, and as soon as the chilly night air hit her heated body, she felt like she could suddenly breathe properly again.

Thankfully, there wasn't any other people out there, and it was probably because it was quickly getting too cold. Quinn knew that she'd soon get goosebumps too, but she didn't care. She needed to be herself, to just stand there with her thoughts and look out at the city of life.

She couldn't believe what had just happened in there with Shelby. It was... it was so disturbing somehow. What had given them away, how had Shelby known? It had to be pretty damn clear if someone who rarely ever saw them could see it. Quinn was worried that other people were noticing. Heck, Nick had been worried that Rachel was cheating on him, how long would it be before he connected the dots and started seeing what was right before his eyes?

Would Rachel ever really get it together and leave him? It was after the première now! Quinn knew that she could hardly ask of Rachel to do it tonight, but how long was it going to take, really? Quinn didn't want to wait anymore, she couldn't wait anymore! She was starting to get her doubts about this. Was Rachel going to do it or not? A few weeks ago when she'd had this conversation with Santana, she'd reasoned with the Latina – and herself – and concluded that of course Rachel would, because they loved each other, and their love was strong enough, but really? Was it – was their love strong enough? Quinn was starting to think that it probably wasn't.

She was starting to worry that... that she was Rachel's mistress and that that was all she was ever going to be.

She couldn't live like that. She deserved more than that. Didn't she deserve to love, and be loved by, someone who wasn't afraid to show it? Didn't she deserve a wife who held her hand in public, proud to be by her side? Didn't she deserve a marriage, a little house with kids and a cat or dog?

Quinn thought that she did. She knew she had done horrible things in her life, but that didn't mean that she didn't deserve happiness.

_You do, Quinn, _she told herself, _you deserve happiness... Even if it's not with Rachel. _

She hated that she was even thinking this. She'd always imagined all of these things with the diva. But now that she had given it a shot, now that they'd tried, and it was pretty damn clear that it wasn't going to happen, didn't she deserve to try with someone else? She didn't want to. It was not what she wished, but wasn't it better to have it with someone else, than to not have it at all?

One thing was pretty clear to her now though; she needed to get away. Not move out of the city or something drastic like that, she just... She just needed to change the scenery for a bit, leave the city and let the disappointment disappear, let the wounds heal. She suddenly felt like... going back to Lima, going to be with her mom. It'd be good for her, she was sure of it. She had a lot of vacation days left at work; she could use them and just – completely rewind for a while, feel the relaxation take over her body.

It was decided. She was going to tell Santana, Brittany and Jessica where she was; pack her bags tomorrow and leave. Perhaps time apart would make her think more clearly regarding Rachel. She'd call the diva from back home, tell her where she was and that they'd talk when she got back. She'd prepare herself for the eventual breaking of her heart. It'd be good. She was sure of it.

"Quinn! There you are."

Turning around from where she'd been leaning against the railing on the balcony, deep in thought, Quinn came face to face with Rachel. The brunette looked flustered, happy. This was her night and it was pretty clear that she was enjoying it.

"I've been looking for you since Shelby and Beth left," Rachel continued, stepping forward and pressing a kiss to Quinn's cheek, "I wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?"

Quinn didn't know what to say. If Rachel was referring to Beth and Shelby, yes, then Quinn was okay. She was more than okay, because she'd gotten to see her child for the first time in over a decade, what did she have to be upset about? But regarding everything else... she was so not okay.

Rubbing her bare arms to gather some heat, Rachel shot her a worried look, "Quinn?" she whispered, "Quinn, what's wrong?"

"Rachel, I can't do this." she blurted out then, not able to stop herself from letting the words spill. It didn't matter anyway. She was going to do this – she might as well get it over with. It broke her heart to think of never kissing Rachel again, never touching her, never loving her, sharing the things they shared. But she had to do this. She didn't have anything left to give now.

The diva swallowed loudly, an adorable trace of confusion flashing across her face. "What? Be here? See Beth?" she whispered, "You don't have to see her again if it's too painful for you."

Quinn shook her head. "I'm not talking about Beth!" she hissed, and she suddenly had difficulties hiding the anger that she – apparently – had forced herself to hold back for a while. The anger she had for Rachel and their entire situation. "I'm talking about _us_!" she angrily said, stepping closer to the other woman, "I can't do this, alright? I hate seeing you with him! I hate hurting him, he's such a great guy!" she licked her lips, needing the wetness, "I hate that I'm starting to think that you'll never leave him. I'm getting doubts about you, about us! I'm _so_ tired."

"I _am_ going to leave him!" Rachel hissed back, her eyes shooting lightnings, "I just – I've been busy until now. You gave me until the première, remember? It was_ just_ tonight! I'll do it – I'll do it soon!" she explained, panicking. It was pretty clear that she was scared, worried that Quinn was serious, that she meant what she was saying.

The blonde grabbed her arm then, clinging onto it tightly, even though it was probably going to bruise, "Then do it tonight."

Flashes of worry, doubt, sadness, came across Rachel's face then, writing themselves onto her features. "I..." she trailed off, her voice love, barely above a whisper, "I can't." she whispered, and the tears started gathering in the corners of her eyes immediately, "Not... not tonight Quinn. Just give me a few more days. I can't hurt him tonight."

Glaring at her, Quinn was battling her inner thoughts. Her heart told her to say okay, tell Rachel to get it done within the next few days, and they'd be good. But her head was telling her that she shouldn't; that she shouldn't give any more of herself, not when Rachel seemed to be retreating, regretting. She seemed uncertain. Quinn could tell that the diva loved her, that she did want this, but still – something was holding her back, and Quinn couldn't wait anymore. She was tired of waiting. Either Rachel got it done now, or she shouldn't do it at all.

"Just forget it..." the blonde trailed off. Her hand was still clutching the diva's bare arm roughly, but she couldn't get herself to let go.

Rachel's lower lip was quivering, "But Quinn..." she begged, her voice cracking.

There was a silence between them. Their eyes were locked to each other, and Quinn was trying to understand what was going on inside Rachel's brain, but she simply couldn't figure it out. There were too many conflicting emotions, too much confusion to even make sense of it all. She didn't understand what was going on, and she couldn't spend more time trying to figure it out. She deserved better.

"What's going on here?"

Both of them turned their heads at the same time, interrupted by the sudden intruder – Nick. He was looking at them with confusion; from Quinn's angry face, to the tears in Rachel's eyes, to the way that Quinn was clutching onto the brunette. He looked confused, not sure what was happening, and Quinn turned to Rachel, expectations fluttering in her stomach immediately.

This was the perfect time. He'd just caught them in the middle of an argument, and all Rachel had to do now was tell him and it would be done. How hard was that? How could she _not_ tell him when the moment was perfect? The blonde urged her on with her eyes, but the diva's eyes fell to the ground.

"We were just having an argument about Shelby and Beth." Rachel ended up muttering, not looking at either of them.

"Fine." Quinn firmly said then, letting her hand drop from Rachel's arm. The brunette had just made her decision; that had been her last chance, and she'd decided to bail. Quinn was done now. She couldn't take it anymore. "I'll see you later." she huffed, before she brushed pass Nick and into the crowded room.

She didn't look back, even if she wanted to. She felt like this couldn't be the end, like her and Rachel deserved more, but she was too tired. She didn't bother finding any of her friends. She'd call them tomorrow when she was on the train.

Tonight, she was going home to pack her bags and order a train ticket.

She was going home.

* * *

><p><em>Don't hate me alright? This is not the end, next chapter will end up being happier! :) I hope you realise why I am making this such a tough thing for Rachel to do. She wants to be with Quinn, I think that's pretty clear, but it's just difficult to leave someone she's been with for more than ten years. Plus, it's really not in her character to purposely hurt the ones she loves. I hope you will be patient with me and realise that things ARE going in the right direction ;-) <em>

_Thank you so much for reading and for all of your wonderful support! I don't know if you're all aware of everything that's happening here on fanfiction, but a lot of stories have been taken down by the site (including some of mine), because they've started to check if everyone is following their guidelines. My summaries weren't suitable for all audiences (which I honestly thought that they had been), so the stories were taken down without giving me an option to change the summaries. It's okay though, it was "just" two oneshots. I hope they're going to let my other work stay put, because if they do decide to take more of my writing down, I'm going to stop posting all together. It's not fun to see the work of my teenage years turn into nothing so easily. _

_Anyways! I'll try to update soon ;-) _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen **

Rachel was frustrated; she was so frustrated that she was practically at the end of her ropes. All night, she'd been going over what happened last night at the party. She'd been trying to figure out what had set off Quinn's sudden change; what had made her – so suddenly – beg for Rachel to tell, to finally come clear? It had been so out of character for the blonde woman. All throughout this mess, she'd been so understanding, knowing that Rachel had a few things she needed to sort out before she could come clear.

The diva knew that she'd made the blonde wait longer than she should have. She knew that it must have been horrible for her girlfriend, but it had been the only way Rachel could see it happen. And she had decided to do it now. It wasn't like she was going to hold it off forever. She'd actually decided that she was going to talk to Nick on this Monday. She had the day off, she could pack a few bags when Nick was seeing his editor; she could get all her necessities together and store them in the music room. When Nick got home, she was going to talk to him; try to make him understand that this was what she had to do. And once she'd talked to him, broken his heart and her own, she was going to grab her bags and go to Quinn's.

But now... everything was wrong. Because Quinn had been so mad last night. She'd left, and to Rachel it felt like it had been the final conversation between them, as if Quinn – like herself – was at the end of her ropes as well. Rachel could understand that, understand that her patience had finally run out. But the brunette refused to _accept_ it.

This could not be the end of them. This couldn't be it. She and Quinn were meant to be together. They were going to create a life together. She and Quinn were going to have a family, and Quinn was going to take care of them. Rachel wasn't going to let her get away with this. She couldn't just storm out like that and then think that Rachel would allow her to just do it.

She_ loved_ Quinn. She loved Quinn more than she loved anyone else. Why else would she have treated Nick this way? If it was purely a physical thing, she would have controlled herself, because it wasn't fair to Nick. She would only do this because it was what her heart truly wanted. She had seen no other option in the end; it was the only thing she could do. Even though she had been hesitant about leaving Nick, even though she had tried to drag it out, it was always her intention to do it. It had just been hard to. It's not easy leaving someone you've been with for so long, someone you care so much about. But she had meant to do it. Truly, honestly.

And now it seemed like Quinn wasn't going to let her do it; well, she could do it, but it seemed like she wasn't going to accept it when she finally did. Quinn had... given up on them. When she left last night, she gave up, she decided to herself that it wasn't going to happen, and she threw in the towel.

Except Rachel refused to agree to that. This wasn't the end of them. It couldn't be. Everything they had planned together, it was going to happen. It was too good to give up on, they were too good to give up on.

Which was why she'd been trying to reach Quinn all morning. She'd had to juggle a slight hangover from the party, with Nick's encouragement and praises about last night, all the while sneaking off to call Quinn. She had to do something, didn't she? She had to reach her, talk to her, tell her that this wasn't the end, and that she was going to tell Nick tomorrow. Hopefully Quinn would accept it, give her at least one more day to prove herself. It'd be good. She was sure that Quinn would understand that, give her that – if she could just _reach_ her!

Rachel was pretty sure that Nick thought she was a lot more hangover than she actually was. She was confused, and she kept retreating to the bathroom to make calls, which – undoubtedly – made him think that she was throwing up.

Quinn wasn't picking up though. The diva was pretty sure that the blonde was screening her calls, and even though she thought that that was pretty immature and childish, the diva could somehow understand it. Quinn had seemed pretty mad last night and she probably didn't want to listen to whatever Rachel had to say right now. That was just too bad though, because she was _going_ to listen. If she wasn't picking up, Rachel would just have to make sure that she listened. By going to her apartment to talk to her. The question was just... how did she get out of the apartment to see her? Nick was practically smothering her with kindness today.

Everytime she went to the bathroom to dial Quinn's number, he was knocking on the door of the bathroom to hear if she was okay. He'd made her breakfast in bed, kissed her, hugged her. He was the perfect husband, and Rachel _hated_ it!

"Rach honey?" Nick poked his head through the door to their bedroom, a kind smile on his face. It faded though, when he realised that Rachel was getting dressed, "Are you going somewhere?"

Rachel swallowed. And buttoning up her dress shirt, she offered him a crooked smile. "Yeah..." she trailed off, and she knew that she was sounding nothing like herself, "I have to uhm... I have to go see Shelby and Beth before they leave for home." she nodded her head.

Nick crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his back against the wall, "Why didn't you invite them here for lunch?"

Licking her lips, Rachel tried to sound more like herself, "I did. I proposed for them last night to join us at brunch, but Shelby thought that that would be too awkward for her. Beth was intrigued by the idea though, we could also have invited Quinn!" she smiled warmly at Nick and stepped closer, placing a gentle kiss on his chest, "I am going to join them for a quick lunch though. Perhaps follow them to the airport. I'll be home later, is that okay?"

He smiled at her too, cupping her face and kissing her lips for a long time, "You're amazing, Rach. I'll clean up a bit. Get some writing done."

"Outstanding." she whispered, before she smiled at him one more time and left the bedroom. She had that feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach, and it was eating away at her, but she was just going to have to handle it, even though she hated lying to him.

She grabbed her purse from the counter in the hallway, made sure that she had all the essentials, before she hurried out of the apartment and smacked the door close.

Of course she had no intentions of seeing Shelby and Beth (even though she probably ought to do so), but this was more important. She knew she should probably see them off and thank them for coming to her important event, but she cared less about them than she cared about Quinn. They were important, yes, but Quinn was more important. Quinn was her future wife, the mother of her future children.

She hailed a cab down at the busy street. She didn't have the patience to wait for the subway today, she just needed to get there as quickly as possible. Plus, just the idea of all the people she could encounter, it annoyed her. She needed time to think, to breathe, to be alone and gather her thoughts. So she gave the address to the cab driver and leaned back in the back seat, closing her eyes as she mused things over.

He was a kind man; he didn't speak to her like some cab drivers did. He let her sit in peace and think. She appreciated that, because she had so many things in her life right now, and she couldn't sort them all out just like that. She knew she had to fix this with Quinn. Among all the other things that worried her, this was what made her panic the most.

Quinn was the important part; she was the thing that Rachel had to fix somehow. She was ready to give it everything she had; because... because just the idea of not having Quinn... it broke her heart.

When she got out of the cab outside of Quinn's apartment building, she thanked the cab driver, paid him, and took a second to gather herself. She breathed in, tried to calm down before she had to do it. All the drapes were parted, but there was no light on in the apartment that Rachel could see. Of course it was summer, so that was no indication of whether or not Quinn was home. It was Sunday, her wrist watch showed just past 11am, and Quinn had probably slept in late to shake off the alcohol and the tiredness of last night.

Taking in one last calming breath to steady her beating heart, Rachel stepped into the apartment building. She took the stairs two at a time, while she gave herself a little pep-talk. She knew that she could do this; she knew that she had to do this. It was perhaps the most important thing she'd ever have to do in her life. Now her NYADA audition seemed to easy, so unimportant. Her entire Broadway career could go away, she'd work with _anything_ else, as long as she had Quinn. Of course she would prefer it if she could have Broadway _and_ Quinn, but... she thought that just the idea that she was willing to sacrifice all of that – it showed how much she really cared about the blonde.

Knocking on the door to Quinn's apartment, Rachel had the jitters. She didn't know what she was going to do once Quinn opened that door and she finally saw her; perhaps she'd just throw herself at the blonde and hug her tightly. Or maybe she'd quickly say that she was leaving Nick tomorrow. The diva had no idea which way was the right way to do this, she just knew that as soon as that door was opened, she'd have to do _something_.

Except... the door didn't open at all?

Confused, Rachel knocked on the door again, stepping onto her toes to try to look through the peep-hole even though she knew that it wasn't possible. She hammered her closed fist on the door again. "Quinn!" she mumbled through it, knowing that Quinn wouldn't be able to hear her at all. "Quinn!" she hollered then.

When there was no answer at all, Rachel came to the conclusion that perhaps Quinn wasn't home right now. She would answer if she was there, that was for certain. She wasn't that immature. Rachel was sure of that. Perhaps Quinn was just out to shop groceries or maybe she went out for brunch or something. Or _maybe_ she went to say goodbye to Beth and Shelby like Rachel should also have done. Maybe she was with Brittany or Santana? Or perhaps at the gym!

_See, there's plenty of places she can be when she isn't here_, Rachel told herself. _I'm just going to wait,_ she concluded. She made sure that her jacket covered her butt before she sat down on the floor in front of Quinn's door. Taking a piece of gum out of her purse, she was prepared to wait until Quinn got home.

She wasn't taking no for an answer. Quinn and her were meant to be together. And what did waiting in front of an apartment door for a few hours mean compared to the rest of her life?

Grabbing her cell phone, Rachel dialled Quinn's number and tried to reach her one more time.

**-Faberry-**

This was good. This was _exactly_ what she needed. Quinn could just feel how everything felt better, how she felt lighter, as she came closer and closer to Lima – to home. She knew that a few days with the presence of only her mother – and perhaps a few of her old friends – would make her feel better. It was like – when the city faded away into nothing behind her, her troubles sort of faded away for a moment, too.

This was going to be _so_ good for her. She'd get everything at a distance, just... relax and try to sort everything out.

When she'd stormed out last night it was with the intention of never looking back. It broke her heart to think about never having Rachel in the way that they had dreamed of, planned together, but she was started to realise that perhaps it was the only possible solution. She wouldn't be happy with being someone's mistress, not even if that someone was Rachel. She wanted more out of her life; that family, a place together, a dog. All of those simple things, it was exactly what she wanted. If Rachel couldn't give her that, she'd have to find it with somebody else.

Santana had freaked out when Quinn called her earlier. She'd done it as soon as she was on the train this morning (at frigging 5am!) which hadn't pleased Santana at all. Thankfully she hadn't woken up the kids or Brittany, and Quinn knew that it had been early, but she'd needed her best friend. Santana had been furious – which Quinn had predicted – and talked about going to murder Rachel in her sleep and whatnot.

Quinn had – not effortlessly, one might add – managed to talk her out of that particular action, but then Santana had continued to bitch about Quinn and why she hadn't asked to borrow money for the plane ticket. Quinn knew it took a very long time by train compared to plane, but she hadn't wanted to ask Santana for money, and she didn't have enough to pay for it herself. Her and Alice's business was going well, mind you, but it wasn't cheap to run one's own company.

After her talk with Santana she had slept for a long time, trying to catch some of the sleep she hadn't gotten during that night. When she woke up she'd had her breakfast and ignored all of the calls that Rachel kept making to her phone. It had been very difficult for her not to pick up the phone and answer her. She wanted to talk to Rachel, badly, because she was already missing the brunette.

And what if she had made a rash decision? What if Rachel was calling to tell her that she told Nick anyway and that they could finally be together? Quinn had to keep controlling herself to make sure that she didn't pick up the phone. It was hard, but she managed by eventually turning it off entirely and stuffing her nose into a book. She had decided to go home to Lima to get away from things for awhile. It wasn't fair that Rachel kept butting in and reminding her of everything; she couldn't handle that right now.

Maybe she'd feel better after a few days with just her mother. And when she got back to New York, maybe Rachel would surprise her, and they'd both have learned something from the experience.

She felt a certain sort of relief when the train finally rolled into the station of her home town. It was almost surreal to be back like that. She hadn't been there in so many years. When she saw her mother, Judy always came to New York. Lima brought too many stupid memories for Quinn – especially the journey _there_. It was on the way home to Lima that Rachel once broke her heart. And now Quinn was going back home again, yet again with a broken heart. Oh, the irony...

Stepping onto the platform, Quinn breathed in the fresh summer air. There wasn't the same amount of pollution in the air as she was used to from the big city, and it pleased her. A few days in the middle of nowhere... it was exactly what she needed.

She rolled her suitcase behind her; she was going to find a bus. If she remembered correctly, there was a bus that stopped a few streets from her mother's house, so that'd be good. It took her about ten minutes to localize the right one and when she checked the time, she realised that there was ten minutes until the bus was there.

Quinn couldn't wait to surprise her mother. She hadn't called in advance to tell her that she'd be there, because she wanted to just show up and make her happier than she'd been in awhile. Her mother always complained that she never came home to visit. Quinn hoped that Frannie would have time to see as well; she'd love to see her niece and nephew and spend some time with them.

When the bus finally came, Quinn struggled to get her suitcase into it, but when she finally sat down by the window seat with music in her ears, the ride to her stop wasn't that far. She listened to music and tried to control the butterflies in her stomach. She saw on her phone that she had a few texts from Santana and Jessica and about fifty missed calls from Rachel – Quinn had to give it to her; that woman refused to accept the circumstances. She couldn't help but wonder what she'd do when she realised that Quinn had left New York; the blonde was sure that she'd figure it out eventually, there was no doubt about that.

She got off the bus a few blocks from home, and – suddenly very eagerly – rolled her suitcase behind her. Instantly, she couldn't wait to be there, to see her mom, to hug her. It was going to be fantastic, so fantastic that she practically ran the last 100 feet when her house was in sight.

Pushing the front door open, she placed the suitcase in the hallway, breathed in the smell of her mother, gathered the air in her lungs and yelled, "Mother! I'm hooooome!"

It took her mother all of thirty second to enter the hallway, a shocked look on her face, with just a hint of surprise. She stared at her, for yet another ten seconds, before Judy Fabray broke into a silent cry and hurried down the hallway to wrap her arms around her youngest child.

Quinn savoured her mother's arms around her, she hugged her tightly, buried her nose in the crook of her mother's neck and they just stood there; they hugged and nothing more. No words were spoken, everything was quiet, they just enjoyed each other, enjoyed finally seeing each other again.

"Quinnie," Judy whispered as she pulled back; her hands were cupping Quinn's and the blonde was surprised to see such an amount of affection in her mother's eyes. Sure, their relationship had gotten a lot better since the day her mother took her back in and kicked her father out in the end of sophomore year, but... they'd never been_ that_ close. Now she could see why her mother was so eager to talk to her, to visit her. She truly wanted to change that. Perhaps she'd wanted to change that for a long time. Maybe since Frannie had her kids and Judy realised that she actually had a family. Or maybe since the day she was truly sober. "what are you doing here?" she finished, her voice cracking a little bit.

Taking in a sharp breath, Quinn reached her hands up to place them on top of her mother's, staring her lovingly in the eyes. "I needed a breather." she whispered, tilting her head slightly, "So much has been happening lately, I just... I needed to get away. To see you – and Frannie, and just... get everything at a distance."

Judy got a thoughtful look on her face, "Is it Rachel stuff?"

"Yeah." Quinn whispered, nodding her head eagerly.

"I figured I might have messed up when I saw her fathers' faces." Judy continued to explain, "They didn't know, did they?"

Quinn shook her head, moving her own and her mother's hands down so they were hanging between them. "Technically..." she begun to explain, even though she didn't want to disappoint her mother by telling her this, "she's still married to her husband."

The disappointment was shown immediately on Judy's face, "Oh..." she whispered.

The blonde looked guiltily into the floor; this was why she hadn't wanted to tell her mother the exact circumstances, why she hadn't wanted her to know, because she knew that her mother would disapprove of it. She knew she had to though – she needed to talk to someone about this, and that someone had to be her mother. Which was why she had to tell her _everything_. Her mother had been supportive throughout everything. Ever since Quinn came out to her in college, she had been the best mother anyone could ask for; all of their problems from high school had been set aside, and the distance between them had only done them good. Her mother – although her faith in Christ was still strong – had accepted her, embraced who she was entirely.

And she'd embrace this, too. She'd support Quinn, give her the best advice she could, and the blonde just knew that it would make her feel better.

"Alright," Judy whispered, lifting Quinn's hand up to press a sloppy kiss to the back of it, "come inside, Quinnie. I'm going to make us some coffee and you'll tell me everything. Come talk to Mommy, and we'll sort this out."

As they walked – hand in hand – into the kitchen, Quinn felt that she'd made the right decision; everything was going to be alright.

**-Faberry-**

When the clock was approaching 6pm and Quinn still hadn't returned home, Rachel was starting to believe that she might not do so at any time soon. She wasn't inside the apartment because Quinn's kind neighbour told the diva that she'd heard the blonde leave early this morning ("I assumed she was going for one of her unbelievably early morning jogs, she does that regularly", "She does?", "Oh yeah Darling, regularly, I tell you!"), and the blonde still wasn't picking up her phone.

Which left Rachel in quite a pickle, because she had to figure this out. She'd called Shelby and thanked her for the wonderful time, she'd said goodbye to Beth as well, and now the pair had left to go home. Nick was calling her, asking when she'd be home, and Kurt was eagerly trying to get a hold of her so he could discuss every single detail of her performance and the show last night, which – normally – she would have enjoyed immensely, but right now just didn't have half a mind to do – she was way too caught up in everything with Quinn to think of anything else.

Now she had just reached the time where it was pointless of her to wait any longer outside this apartment door. Her butt was numb and she was starting to feel hunger grow in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to leave, to do something – she'd waited for so many hours now and nothing had changed, it was time to do something about that. The question was just – what? What could she do? Where could Quinn be? The town was so big that there was no possible way that Rachel would just accidentally run into her. Well... that was how they'd met again, at _Vela_, but what were the changes of that happening two times for the same two people?

None. The changes were none, so Rachel had to make it happen herself. Quinn probably wasn't at the gym because she'd been gone all day. Maybe she'd be with Jessica or working at her office? That seemed unlikely though. The only possible place that Rachel could imagine her to be was Brittany and Santana's.

So that's where she went. She hailed her second cab on the quest to locate Quinn, and roughly twenty minutes later she was standing outside of Brittany and Santana's apartment building. Like earlier, when she had stood outside Quinn's apartment building, she had to gather herself before she stepped inside. She took the stairs rather than the elevator, and then she finally stood outside of the door with a sign that said _Santana Lopez & Brittany S. Pierce _fancily with a handmade, crayon-written sign (undoubtedly made by Brittany) beneath it that side _Rico & Rebecca Pierce-Lopez. _

The diva couldn't hide her smile, and the thought that – someday – she and Quinn would share a sign and Brittany would bring them home-made ones written in crayon with their kids' names... that thought really warmed her heart and urged her to do what she feared – enter the lion's cave. With said lion being one Santana Lopez.

She knocked on the door, and it only took a few seconds before it was pulled open, and she was face to face with Brittany, who had a crying Rebecca on one arm.

"Rachel!" she giddily greeted her and stepped forward, giving her an awkward hug due to the toddler on her arm. "Come inside! Rebecca's just being real fussy right now. Rico is with Santana." she allowed Rachel to pass her and closed the door behind them, "She's on the couch. I'm going to put Becky down and come join you." she quickly ran down the hallway, and the sound of Rebecca's cries faded as she closed the door to the nursery behind them.

Rachel bit her lip and stepped around the corner to enter the living room; she had a feeling that Santana would not have nice things to say to her. Generally, she never did. And if Quinn had told her anything about last night, she would most definitely hate her. Of course there was still the tiny hope inside of her that Quinn would be on the couch with the Latina, but Rachel just knew that Brittany would have mentioned it, had that been the case.

Santana looked up when she entered the living room, and her expression immediately turned sour. "Oh..." she said, not pleased, "it's _you_."

Stepping closer, Rachel made a funny face at Rico who was lying on the couch, before she turned to look at Santana, "I was wondering if... if Quinn might be here, at your place? I had hoped she would be, seeing as she wasn't at her own apartment all day." she paused, swallowing loudly, "I suppose she could be with Jessica, but..." she stopped, not knowing what to say.

The Latina fussed with Rico for just a few seconds longer, before she secured him between the back of the couch and a pillow, and stood up, stepping around the couch. She glared at the diva, grabbed her by the collar and dragged her a few feet away from the couch – into the kitchen. She then hit her on the arm and hissed, "Don't you _dare_!" she angrily said, her brown eyes shooting lightnings, "Don't you dare come running into my apartment, that I share with my wife and children, and – and infest it with your evilness! With – with your inconsideration for everyone else's feelings! You just stomp all over them! So please, Rachel, just get the fuck out of our lives again. I knew it the second we ran into you at _Vela_, I just knew you were going to put Quinn right back in that place where she was ten years ago when you first broke her heart!"

"What!" Rachel whispered, caught by surprise; she had known that Santana would freak out on her, that she'd be pissed, but this was surprising. This lecture? She hadn't seen it coming. What had Quinn said to her best friend between last night and now to make her react like this? Words had to have been said, that was for certain. "Why are you yelling at me? What happened? What did Quinn tell you? Was she here? _Is_ she here?" she continued to spin around on her feet, seemingly trying to locate Quinn somewhere, practically expecting her to hide behind the counter or something.

"You're such a stupid puta!" Santana continued to rant at her, slapping her one more time on the arm, "Who do you think you are? You treat Quinn like she's not important! You strung her _along_, Rachel! She – she was good! She was more than good! She had Jessica, she was doing fine. And then you just fall back into her life again and we're back to where Britts and I had to pick her up ten years ago! What did you expect she was going to do? Did you really think that she was going to be your mistress and watch you stay with Nick and have kids and be the perfect power couple!"

The diva could start to feel the anger boil within her, too. She hated that Santana was yelling at her like this, and even though this was not going to lead to anything good, she felt the need to retaliate. She wanted to find Quinn, and right now Santana was her best way to do that. "I am going to leave him, for Christ's sake!" she said, not caring how she sounded, which words she used, she just needed to get her thoughts out quickly, "If I could just find Quinn, I'd tell her that I plan to tell Nick tonight or tomorrow! I need to pack so I can go, I – I _wanna_ be with Quinn, I do!"

The Latina shook her head, still glaring her down, "You have a fucking _funny_ way of showing it." she stated.

"Things needed to be done." Rachel said then, trying to calm herself down, to keep her voice steady, "Quinn was aware of that, she accepted it. You are the one who's had a problem with it the entire time. What's it about, Santana?" she stepped closer, looking up at the lawyer daringly, "Is it because you don't like me? What?"

Santana shook her head, narrowing her eyes in on the brunette as she crossed arms across her chest. "I look out for Quinn. I don't care if she falls in love with a frigging _cow_. All I want for her is to be happy. If that's with you, I gotta accept that." she paused, licking her lips, "What I can't accept is that fact that you continue to hurt her feelings. I'm sure you understand that."

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "I know that I've hurt Quinn." she whispered, "I know I've hurt her so many times. And why she continues to forgive me, I don't know. But truth is... I had some things I needed to figure out, some things I needed to accept. And now... Now I'm ready to start my life with Quinn. The life that _we've_ planned together." she breathed in steadily as she heard herself tell Santana the things that she'd finally come to peace with herself. It felt good, it felt nice to finally say them to someone else. "I just, I need to find her. Last night, I think that she regretted everything; made a rash decision and I haven't been able to get a hold of her since."

Santana was looking at her, trying to figure her out. Rachel just knew that she was being judged entirely, that Santana was trying to figure out whether or not to trust her. She knew something, but – judging the way that the Latina was sizing her up – she wasn't going to tell her. "Look," she said then, letting her arms fall, somewhat dropping her defences, "all I know is that Quinn called me up to tell me that she felt like you guys were done. She said that she didn't think you'd ever tell Nick and I agreed with her. I _don't_ think you're going to tell him."

"But I will!" Rachel argued, physically having to restrain herself from stomping her foot into the floor like some teenage girl in a TV show, "I planned on telling him tomorrow! I had everything sorted out in my head. He'd be out of the house; I'd pack, get ready, and when he got home I'd... talk to him." she finished the last part in a whisper. She still felt bad about it, but also certain. This was what she wanted to do, and she wasn't backing down now.

The Latina rolled her eyes at her. "Don't fucking raise your voice with me, Berry. I am just stating what Quinn told me, gots it?" she stepped around the couch again and reached down to pick up the quiet Rico, "Now I want you to leave my apartment and leave me and my family alone."

Nodding her head, Rachel accepted that fact. "Okay." she muttered. She smiled softly at Santana before she turned to find the hallway. However, she was stopped by Brittany at the front door. Staring at her, Rachel expected her to move out of the way, so she could pass her and get to the door.

The blonde woman leaned down to hug her though, "She's gone back to Lima," she whispered, quickly, urgently, "you know what to do. _Don't_ disappoint me, Rachel." she finished, and before she pulled back, she gave Rachel a stern look and then hurried back to the bedroom, where the faint cries from Rebecca were still heard.

Letting herself out of the apartment, Rachel couldn't hide her smile. _Thank God for Brittany_,she thought to herself, as she took the elevator down and tried to gather her thoughts.

So Quinn had gone back home. It made sense; the blonde had probably needed to get things at a distance. And the diva knew exactly what she had to do. She had to go home to her apartment, come clean to Nick and then catch the first plane she could.

She _was_ going to get her girl.

**-Faberry-**

Apparently this barbeque with Frannie, her husband, her kids, and their dog had been planned for weeks now. Or at least it had been, according to Judy. According to Frannie (who never backed away from being completely honest with her baby sister) it had been planned since Judy snuck away to the bathroom to order Frannie to come because Quinn needed her.

Now Frannie's husband was taking care of the grill while Judy was in the kitchen, prepping their food. The kids and the dog was running around on the lawn, enjoying the sun by throwing water at each other and screaming in joy, while the two Fabray daughters were sitting on the terrace, enjoying each a cold drink. Quinn already felt more relaxed about all of this; even if she wasn't going to admit it, having Frannie and her family there was nice, and her talk with her mother earlier had really done her some good.

Being home was doing her some good.

"So what's all this about?" Frannie questioned, sipping her drink, "I mean, Mom only managed to give me the short version when she whispered in the bathroom, but it's something about that Rachel girl, right?"

Quinn nodded her head, smiling thankfully at her sister. Frannie didn't have any contact with their father either, because Quinn was certain, that if she had had that, she wouldn't sit there with her and accept the fact that she was a homosexual. "Yes... You remember her, right? Rachel Berry with the two fathers. Rachel Berry with the big ambitions and even bigger voice."

Frannie nodded, pushing her blonde hair behind her ear, "Oh I remember her. You used to _torture_ that girl when you started high school!"

"Not my finest moment." Quinn replied, raising her glass to her lips as well, tasting the burning of the alcohol as it ran over her tongue and down her throat, "I guess I tried to mask my feelings with bullying. Anyway... that's not really the issue at this point, we got over that a long time ago."

"So I've realised." Frannie continued to say, raising an eyebrow – just the way that Quinn knew she always did it herself, "So what's the deal? She's this famous actress now, right?"

"She's on Broadway." Quinn explained, even though she knew that the word 'Broadway' wouldn't mean much to her sister, and definitely not impress her in any way. "But... The real problem is that... she's married."

At this point, Frannie almost spat out her drink. "Uh what!" she hissed, eyes wide. "Quinn, what he-!" she paused, "_What the hell_?" she finished in a whisper.

The youngest blonde shrugged her shoulders. "That's why this is so bad!" she explained, "We've been... having a relationship behind his back, and it sucks, because he's this great and wonderful guy, and... and he's going to be crushed when – if – Rachel leaves him."

"If?"

"I'm starting to believe that she might not." Quinn whispered, turning her head to stare at Frannie, turning to her big sister for guidance, "She's just... dragging it out. She keeps making excuses."

Frannie readjusted herself on her chair, leaning closer to Quinn to keep their conversation entirely private, "If I may make a point here?" she requested, but before Quinn could answer, she continued, "I can imagine that it's hard for you to... wait for her. But I can also imagine what she's going through. As someone who's also married, I can see that... that it'll be hard for her to just give that up. Putting aside the fact that I love my husband very much, just... just thinking about leaving the safety, the family that we've created, the plans for the future... that's breaking my heart. I think that leaving her husband is breaking Rachel's heart. Even if she loves you."

Quinn nodded. "I know... I know it is. But that doesn't make it easier for me. I just want to get our lives started."

Frannie smiled warmly at her, reached for her drink, but somehow – on the way there – her hand changed directions and it found Quinn's instead. She cupped it and squeezed it tightly, letting Quinn know that she was always there.

"Mommy! Lucas broke my water gun!"

Frannie offered Quinn an apologetic smile for the intrusion and quickly went onto the lawn to work as a mediator between her children. Quinn couldn't help but watch the small family work; she saw how the kids argued, how Frannie showered them both with love, but also strong words; how the man of the house watched his family from where he was at the grill. Quinn loved the way that the children's faces lit up entirely, how all disputes seemed forgotten so quickly when Frannie wrapped her arms around both of them.

And she wanted that; she wanted that so badly. She could see herself, having a family just like this. Sharing it... with Rachel.

Why was it so hard to get that? Why was she starting to think that it might not happen? She couldn't afford to let herself start to think negatively like that. She had to stay positive, she had to believe that Rachel would pull through for her. The blonde swore, that if the diva really did... she was going to go into that relationship with everything she had.

"Aunt Quinn, aunt Quinn!" Lucas eagerly said then, his bare feet padding onto the terrace and his toothless grin lighting up completely, "Look! I cut myself the other day. I have a _Cars_ band-aid, do you see it?" he proudly held out his finger and Quinn couldn't help but grin.

He had a red and blue band-aid wrapped around his pointer finger. She pressed a kiss to it, before she pulled the little guy onto her lap and proceeded to smother his face with kisses.

* * *

><p><em>I apologise for the slight delay, but I've been extremely busy! I hope this chapter makes up for the wait! I know that there wasn't much action yet, but you can probably guess what's going to happen in the next chapter ;-) <em>

_I realise that the last chapter – particularly the last scene – was cause for very strong opinions between you, my readers. Some people thought that Quinn was out of character, acting irrationally, because she demanded Rachel to just come clean right there. It was "unfair" of her to expect Rachel to tell Nick at the party, but with that being said, I do think it was expected of her to freak out that way. She was finally done; she'd waited so long, been so patient, I think she just couldn't handle it anymore. At least that's what I wanted to show with her actions. I think she's been more patient with Rachel than anyone should ever be, even if she loves the diva. _

_And as for Rachel... Even though she's strung Quinn along for awhile, I think everybody can agree to the fact that the party _wasn't_ the place to come clean to Nick. Even if I see Quinn's motivation, I also see Rachel's. She was keeping her end of the "deal", and besides popular opinion, she _was_ going to tell Nick eventually, she truly just needed a bit of time. Which Quinn was running out of, because it was becoming too much for her. I hope that Rachel's intentions were made clear in this chapter; that she does want Quinn, and that she will tell Nick... now question is just: Is it too late, or will Quinn forgive her? _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee! _


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter Seventeen**

She had to walk the heavy way to the home that she shared with her husband. Nick. Nick, the sweet and loving man, who had supported her, hugged her, kissed her, showered her with adoration and taken care of her for ten years. Nick, whose dreams she was about to crush, whose heart she was about to break, whose life... she was about to change forever.

She wasn't selfish, she wasn't full of it, not when she insisted that Nick was about to be crushed. She _knew_ that he was, she was very aware of the fact that he worshipped the ground she walked on – which was why this was such a hard thing to do. Had he just been a jerk, or had there been difficulties in their relationship, she would have had a reason for this. But there were none of those things; they were good. They were perfect, even. A power couple. The only problem they had was... that she – Rachel – loved another more than she loved him.

Rachel hoped that by doing this now, by coming clear to him tonight, she was going to give him another chance at love. She wanted for him to be happy; he deserved that. He deserved to find somebody new, someone who'd love him, marry him, have a family with him – just like he wanted. Perhaps someone who'd have more time for him; something Rachel had neglected ever since her career took off.

She vowed – right then and there – that she'd not make the same mistake with Quinn; that, if she was lucky enough to actually make things right with the blonde woman, she'd be more present, put her relationship and family _before_ her career. She was not saying that that was what pushed her and Nick apart, because that would be a lie. What pushed them apart was her falling for Quinn, it had nothing to do with her job. But she would, if she could, change the way she had been in her and Nick's relationship. He'd been so patient with her, and it hadn't really been fair; she was realising this now.

She felt like she was about to throw up when she climbed the last flight of stairs in her apartment building. It was all happening way too fast right now, and she felt like she wasn't ready for it. But really – would she ever be? This wasn't a question about whether or not she was ready to tell him, this was a question of being fair to him, of letting him go and setting him free.

That didn't mean she wasn't nervous though. She could feel her heartbeat in the pit of her stomach, her throat was clenching itself together, she almost couldn't breathe. She was panicking on the inside, more so than she had been earlier today, but she knew that she had to do this. It was just something that she had to get through, no matter how hard it would be for her. Nick deserved _that_ much. She knew that he did. And she wanted what was best for him; she still loved him dearly, and that was why she had to set him free – as cliché as that sounded.

She took one last deep, stomach-turning breath before she placed a hand on her doorknob and pushed the door open. She could immediately hear that Nick was in the living room; the TV was turned on, and if she knew him at all, he'd be sitting with a bottle of beer, watching some sort of sport. She took off her sneakers, placed her purse on the counter in the hallway, mentally checking that she had everything she needed inside of it; if this went at all like she imagined it would, she'd have to make a quick exit. Not because Nick was going to kick her out, but because she simply needed to leave. She had everything ready in her purse, she just needed to throw a change of clothes into an overnight bag and she'd be good to go.

As she entered the living room, she was overwhelmed by the feelings that turned up in her; this was their house, their place, the room where they'd shared so much love. It was the best part of her life so far, and she couldn't bare what was about to happen, even though it was what she wanted to do.

Nick turned his head to smile goofily at her, "Hi Rach! Did you get them safely on a plane?"

Oh, how she loved his face. His childish features and his dimples. She loved his thick hair, how it was so strong when she ran her fingers through it; she even loved his muscular body, despite the fact that what she loved most about Quinn was that she was so soft compared to him.

He offered her an odd look. "Something wrong?" he questioned, and he placed his bottle on the table and turned off the TV. He knew her so well, he could tell. There was something in his voice though, an edge to it, but Rachel wasn't sure what it meant. He was probably angry that she'd been gone all day like that.

The diva took a step closer, stopping behind the back of a chair. "We have some important things that we need to discuss." she said then, hating how formal she could sound, even in a situation like this. It was her defence though, the only thing she had to fend for herself, "Tonight, preferably."

Nick nodded. "Alright," he said, padding the spot on the sofa next to him. "take a seat, Rachel. I eh – I have a few things that I want to get off my chest as well."

Stepping around the chair to move towards the couch, Rachel was curious to know what it was that Nick wanted to discuss with her. What could it be? It was probably more baby-talk, and she just couldn't handle that. She should probably try to speak her mind first, spare him for the talk.

"Actually..." he winced, "I'm afraid to talk about this, but... I know I have to. I can't wait anymore."

She took a seat on the couch with him, deliberately taking her distance. Every part of her body was electric; she could feel how this was making her aware of everything around her, she was nervous, excited, frightened; she was alert. "Can I go first?"

"No." Nick firmly said then. "I need to go first."

This wasn't exactly what she'd imagined would happen when she entered the apartment, but she had to go with it. If there was something he had to get off his chest, he deserved the chance to do so. She nodded, fidgeting slightly on the couch as she tucked a piece of hair behind her shoulder, "Alright..." she whispered.

Nick was fidgeting too; it seemed like he couldn't exactly find a comfortable position to sit in. "I debated with myself for a very, _very_ long time..." he begun, looking her straight in the eye. "I wasn't sure if I had the guts to come right out and ask you this, but... I can't keep it to myself anymore. I'm worried as to what your answer might be, and just the fact that I'm worried... It proves that I really need to ask you this."

Rachel could suddenly feel that her heart was picking up speed once more. She had an odd feeling that she knew what this was about; the way he was looking at her, the way his eyes were glistening with un-shed tears, and how he seemed to shake just slightly. She could tell, she just _knew_. "Go ahead." she whispered. "Ask me."

"Are you... are you cheating on me?" he softly questioned, his eyes flickering away from hers, for just a second, before he found them again, "...with – with Quinn?"

She was quiet. For just a second. "_Yes_."

The slap came faster than she had anticipated; she felt his hand roughly against her cheek, and suddenly she was clutching her face in her hands, and tears were falling from her eyes. She looked at him, stunned. He looked right back, and the slap had taken him by surprise as well. He hadn't planned on it; it had been his natural instinct, something he'd never do if he could have helped it. But he'd done it, almost instinctively. Her cheek was burning, but she deserved it. She wasn't even going to whimper.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, dropping her hands to her lap and looking up at him. She meant it, she really did. It wasn't just to ease the pain for him, to make him feel better. She meant it, she meant it with all of her heart. She'd never wanted to hurt him.

"Don't." he said, shaking his head at her. "Don't say those words. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have done it."

"I tried to fight it." she murmured, swallowing a lump in her throat and just watching him with big, round eyes, "I tried to fight it with all my might, but I just... I couldn't."

Nick ran a hand through his hair that had grown slightly longer lately. She could see his muscles flex beneath the thin fabric of his t-shirt, and she thought that green was a good colour on him. And that he needed to cut his hair. "I don't know..." he sighed, shaking his head, "I just – I suddenly just, I just, I realised it. I saw the way she looked at you the other night, and I just knew."

Rachel felt awful; this wasn't exactly how she had planned it would go, and she hated that – apparently – they'd been so bad at covering up their feelings for each other, that it had been evident to Nick; the guy who really shouldn't have seen it. Who else hadn't noticed? Who had talked behind Nick's back, mentioned how his wife was unfaithful to him? It wasn't supposed to happen this way; he wasn't supposed to have gone around with these thoughts for awhile, hurting. She would have much rather if she'd spilled everything now and it had been a big surprise to him. "I wasn't sure when to tell you..."

"That you're leaving me?" Nick quickly fired back, an eyebrow raised. His tone was hard, but that was natural in a situation like this. "You are leaving me, aren't you? That's what you came home to say now, I could see it in your eyes." he swallowed loudly, groaning, "You are leaving me, Rachel – aren't you?"

"Yes." she breathlessly whimpered.

A few tears started rolling down his face then and he angrily wiped them away with the back of his hands. "Fuck!" he hissed, hammering his hand into the cushion of the sofa, "Fuck Rachel! Why did you do this! We were supposed to be married and have a family!" he shook his head at her. "Fuck, I just – I knew this would happen as soon as she came back into your life!"

Rachel's ears peaked at this. Huh? What did he mean by that! What did he mean when he said that he knew as soon as she 'came back' into her life? It seemed like he knew again. And if he knew _again_, then he'd known _before_. This was getting more and more confusing to her, and she swore to God, she had to figure all of this out somehow. She shot him a confused look, and it wasn't even for pretend, it wasn't just to urge him on, to let him get something off his chest. This was pure curiosity, because she honestly had no idea what he meant when he said that he'd known it would happen as soon as Quinn came back into her life.

"In college..." he begun, and his tone indicated that she really should know what he was hinting at, "I already knew in college. I saw that something was..." he searched for the right word for a second, wetting his lips, "..._off_." he shrugged his shoulders, "I could tell that there was something there. I wasn't sure why you were acting so odd, why you were different all of a sudden. So I wanted to do something, something to make it happen. I tried to fix it with marriage..." he sighed heavily. "I wanted to marry you so badly, so I figured why not do it then – you seemed like you needed the change and for me to prove that I really wanted it."

Suddenly – his proposal made a lot more sense to Rachel. She'd always found it odd how he had popped the question out of nowhere. They'd been on and off constantly for awhile at the time; she'd been so confused about Quinn, which had reflected onto her relationship with Nick, just like it had done the past few months. So they'd kept breaking things off, but suddenly, one night, he'd just shown up on her doorstep and asked her to marry him. It had been such a big surprise, but she had honestly thought that it would be the best thing for her. She made a decision with herself; she didn't want to go further than friendship with Quinn, and therefore it made sense for her to marry Nick. She could see herself with him, being happy. So she'd jumped into his arms and said yes.

"You were odd back then," he lightly continued, shaking his head to himself and looking at her, so sadly that her heart was breaking, "and suddenly... you were odd again." he swallowed loudly, reaching a hand out to touch her bare arm briefly; it was clammy, he was sweaty and nervous, "So... I connected the dots."

Rachel looked at him, so sad that their marriage had come to this, that their relationship had to end this way; they'd deserved more than that. And when Quinn had gone out of her life back then, she had honestly thought that she and Nick were in it for the long haul. It had seemed so; they were the perfect couple, and she honestly wanted everything with him. It wasn't even pretend. It had only been pretend... until Quinn showed up again. Because when Quinn was there, she wanted her more than she wanted her marriage with Nick. Which was why everything had been perfect when it was just the two of them. "I'm truly sorry, Nick..." she whispered, "I do love you. And I did want to stay with you, but... I can't ignore the feelings I have for Quinn. Not when she's right there, in front of me."

He smiled at her, softly, "I know." he swallowed, "That's what makes it so hard for me to be mad at you. Because I can see that you – really and truly – tried to fight it. That you wanted to make it work with me. But it's just... It can't happen, not when your heart belongs to another."

She nodded her head in agreement. He was putting words on all of the thoughts she'd tried to make sense of in her head the past few months. He was putting them into sentences so easily. That was why he was a writer – he was so wonderful with words.

"I'm not really an idiot," he softly continued, "and as soon as I realised something was up, I just had to compare my observations of Quinn's behaviour and it was all clear to me."

Rachel just loved him so much. He was truly the most amazing man that anyone could ever ask for. She hoped with all of her heart that they could – someday – be friends. That when he found his one and only, she'd be there at his wedding, supporting him. She'd always love him – like the best friend that he'd truly been to her for ten years; like the best friend he was acting as now. "I was going to come clean to you after the première." she whispered. She felt like she needed to tell him that she had made plans; that she hadn't just expected to string him along for a long time.

He chuckled lowly, "That's funny. I'd planned to come clean to you as well. After the stress was over..." he gazed at her, lovingly, "I was going to tell you that... I didn't want to be with you anymore. That I wanted you to go, to be with her."

Her entire chest warmed up at that point; she felt it all the way into her fingertips. The love he had for her went beyond his own happiness. He had planned on letting her go, of setting her free – so she could be with the one she wanted without feeling guilty. That was how much he loved her; he loved her enough to put his own happiness aside. "You're so amazing, Nick..." she whispered, "Truly I – I had hoped that I would be able to keep away from Quinn so that I wouldn't physically cheat on you, but... I couldn't. I truly deserve that slap, I know."

"I needed to get it out." he quickly explained, "Don't worry, I'm all better now." he offered her a sideways grin, "So... You went to see Quinn now, didn't you?"

She nodded.

"Was she there?"

Shaking her head, Rachel sighed as she tried to explain, "I waited all day... And – and then I went to Santana and Brittany's apartment, figuring she might be there. Santana was _so_ angry with me." she fidgeted with her wedding band, curling it around her finger, "Apparently Quinn flipped out last night; she took the first train to Lima this morning. She said she needed to get away."

_...needed to get away from me, _Rachel added inside her head with disdain.

Nick thought about that for a second or two, munching away on nothing, "So what are you still doing here?" he asked then, like it was known to just absolutely everybody – except her – that she ought to be somewhere else.

"I – I wanted to talk to you, and I just..." she shrugged her shoulders, "She probably hates me."

"_Go_." Nick said then, looking at her, urging her on in an optimistic voice, "Go Rachel! Pack and bag, catch a flight and... go get your girl!"

She swallowed loudly; she couldn't believe that he was being this great to her right now. That he was supporting her, telling her to go to Lima to work for Quinn's forgiveness. He truly was the most amazing person on the face of the earth. He'd slapped her, and that was it – all his anger was gone, and he was smiling at her, supporting her. She knew though, that it was only a façade, that of course he wasn't happy that she was actually choosing Quinn and not him, that he was sad that their marriage was ending. She had respect for him though; because he could sit there with such a smile plastered on his face and make it seem like everything was alright.

She could go to Lima tonight; she probably ought to if she wanted Quinn to look past everything. The problem was just... that she knew – as soon as she smacked the door close behind her – he'd end up on their couch, crying his eyes out for awhile; completely heartbroken. Maybe she should let him – he was a man, he probably needed to grieve in peace. She could, to make herself feel better, text a few of his best buddies and tell them that she had left him and that they – probably – should set aside time to take care of him the next few days.

"But Nick I-" she cut herself off, not knowing what to say.

"Rachel, don't drag this out." he begged her, his eyes glistening slightly. "We both know where this is going. You're going to leave me for her no matter what, so just get it over with." he sighed, "Let me move past this as quickly as possible so that I can get on with my life. I deserve to find someone else, too. To find a girl who truly wants to marry me and carry my children."

He was right. She knew that he was right. It was just so hard to do. She knew that when she left this apartment, it was truly over, and some part of her wasn't exactly ready for that yet. She knew she had to, though, there was no question about that. She had to let him move on, find someone new. And she had to go back to Lima and get the girl she was supposed to be with. There was no point waiting. It was going to be difficult, yes, for both of them, to move on. She was going to need him, he was going to need her. They were going to miss each other desperately. One just doesn't move on from a ten-year marriage so easily.

Rachel had a feeling that – perhaps – Quinn wasn't going to be able to understand that. She was going to have to, though, because Rachel knew that, even in her new-found happiness with Quinn, she was going to grieve for the loss of Nick. That was for certain. It was just one of the things that she had to discuss with Quinn, if Quinn was ready to forgive her for everything that had happened.

She also needed to forgive Quinn, and Quinn needed to understand that she, Rachel, wasn't the only villain here. Rachel knew that she had made many mistakes regarding her relationship with Quinn, but Quinn had been pushy, tried to get her to do things she wasn't ready for at the time. And last night had been particularly horrendous... Quinn had clearly pushed it there, and Rachel knew that Quinn knew that, too. It had just been clear that she'd certainly reached her limit.

Nick could, apparently, see that she was fighting with herself inside of her head, because he continued to urge her on. "It's okay, Rachel," he assured her, "it's going to be just fine. Just think about it... You and I? We'll no longer be the _only_ straight couple inside a room."

She couldn't help but chuckle lowly; that was true. For a very long time they'd been the only heterosexual couple in her group of friends. How odd that she hadn't noticed it before. "That's true." she said, smiling fondly at him. Oh, how she was going to miss his humour and his impeccable charming ways.

"Just go get her." he finished, "Go catch a plane and... and let me cry this one out."

"I love you so, _so_ much." she whispered, shaking her head at him, and feeling how the tears were welling up in her eyes. She was going to miss this man, she was going to miss him with all of her heart. And she knew... she knew that it was going to be difficult, she was going to cry all the way to Lima, and she was going to cry when she got back to New York. She'd cry many tears for this amazing, incredible husband, and she'd thank God that she had been lucky enough to have him to herself for ten years.

He said, "I love you, too." before he leaned in closer; slowly, and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her tightly, almost too tightly, for a very long time, before he finally loosened his grip. He looked her straight in the eye, conveyed everything that he'd felt for her, what he was feeling for her, before he pressed his lips to hers for a last kiss goodbye.

She savoured him then; his taste, his smell, his everything, before she pulled back and caressed his chin. The tears were bursting up inside of her, and she was on the verge of crying. "Goodbye." she softly whispered, before she turned around, ran across the floor to her bedroom and started throwing random things into a bag.

She was crying; she was crying for Nick, crying for herself and crying for Quinn. She was desperately trying to get everything together, to find some sort of meaning to all of her messed-up thoughts. She couldn't think straight though; this day had been way too overwhelming for her. All she knew for certain was that she had to get out of there as fast as possible; she had to pack a bag, catch a flight – and go get Quinn.

**-Faberry-**

Quinn wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow she ended up discussing her relationship with Rachel with her 16-year-old niece. The teenager was a very perceptive girl; she had an opinion on just about everything, and Quinn actually enjoyed listening to her thoughts on this – just as much as she enjoyed listening to Claire's (often very brilliant) thoughts as well. It was odd how Quinn was supposed to be the psychologist who helped other people with their problems, but always ended up needing help to figure things out herself.

Another thing that always caught Quinn completely off guard was the fact that Frannie had a 16-year-old daughter. It seemed like just yesterday that they were kids. Of course Frannie had married young, but this made Quinn feel very old. She wasn't even married yet and – by the sound of their conversation – her niece was already dating boys and having sex. Quinn freaked out a little on the inside when she realised that it was at that exact age that she – herself – got pregnant and had Beth.

She hadn't slept well at all that night; she'd just been tossing and turning, and eventually she had gotten up at 4:30am to go for a morning jog. She figured she'd take the route she used to in high school and then on the way home go and get them some fresh bread for breakfast. Now it was around 7:30am – she had showered and was just setting everything up in the kitchen. Everyone had stayed over last night; Frannie and her husband had gotten too much red wine to drive, and the kids had been excited to get an opportunity to spend the night at their grandmother's.

"Uh, I smell coffee." Frannie said then, stepping into the kitchen, with her two youngest just in tow. "Mom is just getting dressed."

"I bought fresh bread." Quinn said and motioned towards the set table. She was so thankful that she had been able to talk to Frannie last night; it had really helped her ease her mind and get some things straight. She'd really been wondering about the things that Frannie had said to her about marriage. The blonde was starting to realise that perhaps she hadn't really been fair to Rachel when she'd kept trying to push her. Before, she'd feared that Rachel didn't love her enough to actually leave Nick if she wasn't ready to do it then, when Quinn first wanted it – but now that she'd talked to Frannie, she was starting to see that just because Rachel hadn't been ready to leave Nick, didn't meant that she didn't want to. It would be hard for her, no matter if she loved Quinn or not.

"Oh my darling daughters, good morning!" Judy happily greeted them as she entered the kitchen; it was clear to Quinn that her mother was very happy about the fact that she finally had both of her daughters at home at the same time – it hadn't happened for a very, very long time. The entire family was finally gathered together – how much better could it be?

_Oh, I know one thing that would make it a lot better, _Quinn mused to herself as she poured a cup of coffee and watched the kids take place around the table, immediately digging into everything. She rested her back against the counter and took a long sip of her strong black coffee. That really did her some good.

"You feeling better today?" Judy questioned with a saying look in Quinn's direction.

The blonde nodded, as the kids started fighting over the cheese spread, and everything quickly turned into madness in the little kitchen.

Just then – there was a knock on the door. The three Fabray woman looked at each other, all clearly confused. Quinn gaped at her mother; who could be at the door right now? Everybody she knew was right there, none of her friends would be up this time a day. It'd be pretty unusual. Judy pushed her chair back and shrugged her shoulders before she went into the hallway to open the door.

Quinn couldn't exactly put her finger on why, but... she just had this odd... feeling inside her heart. It would be absolutely crazy (in both a good and a very disturbing way) if that was _her_ on the other side of that door. But – it couldn't be, could it? That was far too far-fetched! It'd be too good to be true. Quinn wasn't sure how she would react at all. And yet... she just had this thought inside of her that – that maybe it actually _was_.

"Quinnie!" she heard her mother yell then, and the blonde woman felt her heartbeat pick up speed instantly, "It's for you."

Frannie's eyes immediately locked to hers, because both of them just knew that there was only _one_ person that it could be. None of Quinn's old high school friends that still lived in town knew that she was there; none of them was aware of the fact that she was back in town for a little while. The sisters could easily figure out that it was her – _Rachel_ _Berry_.

Quinn was scared; she placed her cup on the counter, and as she quickly crossed the floor to get to the hallway; she heard Frannie scramble to follow her so that she could spy on them. Quinn felt her eyes in the back of her neck as she walked the way to the front door; she knew that it was Rachel there, of course she did, but that hadn't prepared her for the shock it was to actually find her there, in the front hallway, next to her mother.

Judy looked positively pleased, and Rachel's entire face lit up when she saw Quinn.

"Quinn!" she eagerly said.

"Hi?" Quinn whispered, stepping closer. She kept a distance to the brunette, stopping right next to her mother. "Rach... what? What are you doing here?"

The diva shrugged her shoulders, as in a way of saying 'here I am', and said, "What did you think I was going to do? Give up on you?"

Quinn wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't known what to think – perhaps she hadn't thought at all? She'd just made her decision and left New York because she felt in her heart that that was what she needed to do.

Rachel continued, a sideways smile playing across her beautiful face, "Well I'm not giving up on you." she firmly said. "So... can we talk?"

The blonde woman couldn't hide the small smile that came to her lips. She was pleasantly surprised to see Rachel there; it proved that the diva was ready to go to great lengths to be with her; to prove their love. What more could she really ask for? They had things to figure out; and Quinn had to be sure that Rachel really was going to leave Nick, but – this was everything that she could ask for. Rachel was _fighting_ for her love.

"The living room is free." Judy spoke up then, hopefulness erupting on her face.

Quinn groaned on the inside; of course her mother was eager to let them make their peace. She had been rooting for them since she found out, and she practically wanted a daughter-in-law more than Quinn wanted a wife. However, while Quinn was slightly annoyed with her, Rachel appreciated it, "Thank you, Judy!" she said.

The blond waved the actress with her, "Come on." she said, before she turned on her heel and resolutely marched towards the living room. On the way, her eyes locked with Frannie's, and her sister mouthed a quiet 'good luck' before she went back into hiding in the kitchen. Quinn didn't turn to look at Rachel before they were on the couch; face to face.

"You're..." she searched for the right words for second, completely stunned that the other woman was actually there, "here." she finished. And she couldn't help it; that hope was blossoming inside her chest, and she felt how much she actually wanted this, wanted the other woman.

Rachel nodded, a soft smile playing across her face. Her brown chocolate orbs were shining, glistening with some sort of happiness. "I am." she said, letting her hands rest awkwardly in her lap, "I uh... I thought and thought on the red-eye here. I kept musing things over, I cried, I couldn't sleep. I just... I wasn't sure how to tell you this."

The blonde swallowed loudly, hopefully, "Tell me what?" she hoarsely whispered.

Rachel bit her lip, "I left Nick." she said then.

Quinn could feel her eyes turn wide, and she wasn't sure how to react. Some sort of happiness swept over her then, but she wasn't going to let herself get her hopes up in case it wouldn't work out anyway. Sure, Rachel had left Nick, but... was that really any indication that she was going to be with Quinn? It really wasn't. There were still so many other options, so all the blonde could do was listen to the other woman for a little while longer.

"I took off my ring." Rachel continued, holding out her hands for the blonde to see. "I tried to find you yesterday, but you weren't at your apartment. So I went to Brittany and Santana's. You weren't there either, Santana yelled at me, Brittany told me you'd gone here." she quickly rattled everything off, probably eager to get it off her chest, "So I knew that... that I had to come get you." she bit her lip again, and the tears were suddenly welling up in her eyes, quickly, "I knew I had to prove myself to you, because, Quinn... I love you. I _only_ want you. You have to trust me on that."

Quinn's heart was beating hotly in her chest. Her hope was rising, she couldn't stop it. She wasn't sure that this was going to end well yet, but who could blame her for thinking that it would? She was almost shivering in anticipation. "What about.. Nick?" she managed to get out then, holding her breath.

"I told him that I loved another, and he told me to go get you." she clearly stated. She looked at Quinn then, awaiting a reaction, some sort of recognition, but the blonde wasn't sure what to do or say.

How was she supposed to react? She was so overwhelmed with many different feelings, she almost couldn't keep them all straight. She was happy, thrilled, excited, but also scared, sad and... worried about the future, about what was going to happen. She couldn't positively act one way or another, because there were just too many thoughts inside her head.

Rachel stared at her, clearly expecting her to say something. "So this is me..." she begun, raising an eyebrow and wetting her lips, "go... getting you."

Looking away, Quinn still wasn't sure how to react. She reached a hand up to cover her cry, and suddenly everything just welled out of her; the tears splashed out of her eyes and some sort of gurgles started streaming out of her throat. She was so happy. So, _so_ happy. She couldn't... really phantom this. Was this really happening right now? Was Rachel actually sitting in front of her, telling her that they could actually be a couple – with no secrets and no hiding behind closed doors? There were no words to describe her feelings right now; everything inside of her was a blur, she just knew that she'd never been happier in her entire life. Nothing was ever going to top the feeling inside of her chest right now.

"Quinn?" Rachel softly queered then; her voice sounding so honest, so childish and true.

"I love you so much!" Quinn blabbed, before she practically fell over the couch to hug the other woman. She threw her arms around Rachel's small frame and hugged her tighter than ever before. She breathed in the smell of her skin, the scent of her shampoo. She savoured the feel of her body against hers and the way that everything just felt so right when she was in her arms. The worlds could blow up around her right now, and she'd die a happy woman.

The diva soothed her, a hand on her back, going around in circles, and with a whisper into her ear, she said, "I love you too." and she kept repeating it over and over, as Quinn sobbed it out.

There were still so many things that they needed to talk about, so many words that needed to be said between them. They had to figure everything out; what was going to happen next, and what their plans for the future were. Everything had to be settled eventually, but right now – Quinn was just happy that Rachel was in her arms, and – apparently – rightfully, honestly, _hers_. All of those other things could be figured out later, when they were back in New York, back in their usual grind; their city. Quinn had to come clean about Jessica, and they had to discuss what was going to happen next. Right now though, Quinn could do nothing but thank the Lord that Rachel was in her arms.

Pulling away from the other woman, Quinn didn't even bother to wipe away the tears from her cheeks, because Rachel had seen her at her best and at her worst, and she was going to see her at her everything else in their future; she was going to see her covered in blood and sweat when she, someday, gave birth to her children. Honestly – Quinn couldn't wait. "I can't believe this is happening right now."

Rachel caressed her cheek gently, "Actually... I'm starting to believe that it should have happened ten years ago when we were stuck in that car." she let her thumb fall to the swell of Quinn's lips, and the blonde pressed a kiss to it, "I'm sorry, Quinn, for breaking your heart that day."

"I forgive you." Quinn whispered. "If you can... forgive me for lying to you about... one little thing." she breathed in deeply. They might as well get it out of the way right now. Quinn was positive that Rachel wouldn't be mad about it; everything taken into account, her lie about the nature of her and Jessica's relationship was nothing.

The brunette shrugged, "Yeah?"

"Jessica wasn't really my girlfriend." Quinn quickly said, ripping it off like a bandage. "I just... I didn't want to seem like a loser when we met up again, so I quickly made it up."

Rachel needed a second to think that over, and Quinn could see the wheels turning inside her head. "So you've never... slept with her?" she wanted to know.

Quinn felt herself shamefully blush and she sheepishly continued, "I've slept with her, but... we were just friends with benefits. And I broke it off with her as soon as something started between us again!" she said, needing to clarify that, "Now we're... just friends. And trust me when I say that she's rooting for us."

The diva clutched Quinn's hand tightly and whispered, "Alright... She's a great person, and I quite like her. Even though I've also been intimidated by her, she's... great."

The blonde couldn't help but be slightly thrilled that apparently Rachel had been intimidated by Jessica (that meant that her first plan had actually worked). It didn't matter now though, and she brushed her thumb over the back of Rachel's hand to reassure her. "I've never had feelings for her, just so you know."

"I'm not worried." Rachel quickly said, and Quinn believed her when she said it, because there was not a hint of dishonesty in her voice. She'd always been able to read Rachel so well, and now was no exception. The diva was telling the truth; she wasn't worried about Jessica. "This is not going to be easy, Quinn," Rachel continued then, but there was a smile on her lips nonetheless, "I'm going to grieve my marriage. I'm already missing Nick so much, and I_ just_ left him..."

Quinn nodded, "I understand!" she said, quickly. She did understand now; after everything Frannie and her had talked about last night, she knew. She understood what Rachel had to go through, and she was going to help her get through it, instead of pushing her through it. "I completely get it, Rachel... You were married. It's alright."

The brunette's eyes were glistening with happiness, "I think I'm going to get my own place first. Just for some time, until the divorce is over." she clutched Quinn's hand, reassuring her, calming her, as if she knew that Quinn had hoped she'd move in with her immediately, "I need to be by myself for a little while. And when things have calmed down... we'll find a place together. How does that sound?"

The blonde had nothing to complain about that. Even though she wanted to be with Rachel constantly, she also knew that it was smarter if they did it the way that the brunette suggested. Taking things slow was better than rushing into anything they weren't ready for. They were in this, together, and there was no rush. They had the rest of their lives to spend together, so what did a few months mean compared to the big picture? They were practically nothing.

"Don't worry, baby," Rachel whispered, a glint in her eye, "you _will_ be my wife. We _will_ have a family, and _you_'ll take care of us."

Quinn couldn't help but lean forward and hug Rachel – her _girlfriend_ – close once more. She'd waited ten years for this moment, and honestly... It had been worth the wait.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for being so patient with me! I hope that you liked this chapter as well ;-) it was probably less dramatic than most of you had thought it would be? All the way through writing this fiction, I kept imaging Nick as this great, understanding guy, who'd put his own happiness aside for Rachel's. I certainly hope that that's how he came off to you guys as well. <em>

_There's been some talk about whether or not Quinn was being too pushy, and I think that she has been a bit too pushy on Rachel, and that there were some things that she needed to figure out, some things that she needed to realise for her to be okay with everything. She had to see that just because Rachel left Nick to be with her, everything's not going to be wonderful and beautiful. Now their relationship has to prove that it can go the distance. And Rachel, of course, had to gather her courage and be ready to leave her husband. _

_I hope you all enjoyed this journey for them. Of course I'll be finishing this off; this chapter is not the last one, but we are nearing the end, as I believe we can all imagine what's going to happen next. For me, it's all about the journey getting there. _

_Please leave me your thoughts on this chapter? _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee. _


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter Eighteen **

Rachel had to go back to New York already that evening. She had a show the next day, and of course she couldn't miss it. Quinn understood that, but it still sucked, because she would have liked to spend just a few more days with Rachel in their childhood town. There, it had felt like none of their real-life problems were threatening them, and all talks of divorce, apartment-hunting and taking things slow were gone. They'd just been laying together on Quinn's couch for a long time, before Rachel eventually had to leave for her fathers' place, so she could get her things.

Quinn knew that she was being silly for missing Rachel and hated that they had to be apart, because now – by all means – she truly had the diva. Rachel was _hers_. Of course things weren't going to be 'real' for some time, because they couldn't publicly go out yet, they couldn't live together, but in her heart, she knew that Rachel was truly hers, and there was no denying that.

She couldn't believe that after all these years, it had finally come to this. She was happy, happier than she had ever been, even if there were still so many things that they needed to sort out before they could truly be a couple. She was so thankful that they had reached this point; she almost couldn't believe it. Their relationship had actually started for real, back where it all begun. In Lima, Ohio.

Quinn decided to stay in town for a few more days. She had vacation days she could use, and she was actually quite liking being back in her old town. She wanted to see some of her old friends who still lived in town; Mercedes and Sam for instance, and she even wanted to step by Will and Emma's apartment – she thought that they'd love to hear from her, after everything she'd been through under their watch. They'd be happy to know that she had still made it.

That was why she was now knocking on the door with a sign that said _Will & Emma Schuester _in a cursive penmanship. She smiled softly to herself; back in senior year, Will and Emma had gotten the one they were supposed to be with, they had found their true love, and now she had found hers as well. Love really was possible, even if it took awhile to get there, even if you had to go through hard times and troubles.

When the door opened, it was Will on the other side of it. Quinn offered him a big smile and simply said, "Hi Mr. Schue." in a light voice.

It took her old teacher a second to really comprehend who was on the other side of that door, but as soon as he did, he broke into a giant grin and reached forward to hug her. "Quinn Fabray!" he happily said as he hugged her tight, "_What_ are you doing in Lima?"

"I'm back in town for a few days, and I figured... I had to see you guys." Quinn replied as she pulled out of his embrace.

He ran his hand through his curly mane and stepped back, "Come in, come in!" he let her through the door and closed it behind her, "Everything's a bit messy at the moment, but I'm sure you won't mind."

Quinn had difficulties picturing anything related to Emma as a bit messy, but she nodded nonetheless, excited to see what her old guidance counsellor was up to. She followed Will into the apartment, and when she entered the living room, she realised why everything was a bit messy, and why Emma didn't seem to care – or perhaps didn't have the energy for it.

Two young boys were playing on the floor; they both had flaming red hair and had their toy cars strewn out between them. Emma was stepping back and forth, tiptoeing over the pointy toys; she looked a bit tired, but the explanation for that was the slumbering child in her arms. Another red-head was sleeping, but it looked like she hadn't been sleeping for too long.

"We just got her to sleep." Will whispered; he looked tired as well, Quinn noticed, but so extremely happy.

Emma turned to look at them, and her face sort of lit up when she realised who had been at the door. She stepped over a few toys, still soothing the child by rocking her back and forth. "Hi Quinn!" she whispered with happiness. "I'll just put her down, if that's okay? I'm going to come say hi." she turned to her husband then, "Are you going to make us some coffee, Will?"

Will nodded, and he left for the kitchen, as Emma turned to walk down the hallway. Quinn looked down at the two boys on the floor; they were playing, not noticing the stranger in their house, and Quinn decided to kneel down next to them, so she could be on their level.

The oldest boy, who looked to be around six years old, looked at her then, a toy car clutched in one hand, "Who are you?" he promptly asked her then.

"I'm Quinn." she softly answered him, "I'm friends with your mommy and daddy." she pointed at the car. "That's a nice car you have there."

"It's fast." he answered then.

Quinn hummed in response. "What's your name?"

"Patrick." he replied. He then turned to point at his little brother, who was sitting right on his butt, running a car back and forth on the floor beside him, "And that's my little brother Justin."

The blonde woman smiled at the other boy, who didn't seem to mind her presence at all. "Hi Justin."

Patrick continued, "Our sister is Jennifer." he added, as a matter of fact.

"That's a pretty name." Quinn replied. She couldn't help but smile softly at the two boys, playing with their cars. She thought that they were the most adorable little things. She knew that she wanted this as well; a small family, with Rachel. She wouldn't mind three kids, or maybe even four. She could picture herself playing with cars, or maybe playing with dolls, depending on what their kid wanted. She'd stay up all night, rocking her kid to sleep, if Rachel had an important show the next day. She'd do anything, because this was her dream.

Will entered the room again then, three cups of coffee on a tray. "Do you take milk or sugar in your coffee?" he asked her.

Quinn stood up, shaking her head, "No, I can take it black, thank you."

He sat the tray down on the small coffee table, and Quinn took a seat on the chair across from him. "I see you've met my two boys."

The blonde nodded, "Yes. They're very cute. I'm very happy for you and Emma..." she trailed off, glancing down at the boys on the floor yet again, "You seem to have finally got everything you two wanted."

"I'm very happy." Will replied as he offered her a cup of coffee and took a sip of his own. "I'm still teaching Glee Club, I'm married to the woman of my dreams, I have three beautiful children... Everything's wonderful to me."

_That does sound absolutely wonderful, _Quinn added inwardly as she smiled happily at her former teacher.

Will leaned back in the couch then, popping one leg over the other and offering her a giant smile. "So how have you been, Quinn? You still in New York? You're one of the few first Gleeks that I haven't heard from since you guys graduated." he smiled warmly at her, "We're always wondering how you guys are."

"Still in New York." Quinn replied, leaning back in the chair with her cup between her hands. "I own my own praxis with a friend. We both studied psychology, and we do alright now." she sipped the coffee and savoured the taste of it in her mouth. She was looking forward to telling Will about her and Rachel – she was sure that he was going to be very, _very_ surprised.

"Congratulations!" Will smiled, nodding his head, "So what-?" he glanced briefly at her hand, probably looking for a shining wedding band, "Do you have a boyfriend – or anyone special?"

Quinn felt herself blush slightly at the thought of Rachel, and when she looked up at Will, she couldn't hide her smile; she was sure that he saw right through her, that he could see just how happy and in love she was. "I do... have someone special." she ended up saying.

Will hummed, urging her on, wanting her to tell him more.

She bit her lip, "Rachel Berry."

Will's surprised look was nothing compared to the high squeak she heard behind her. Quickly turning around, she saw that Emma had joined them in the living room, and seemed to be thoroughly surprised by the revelation she had just made. Stepping pass her two children on the floor, she sat down on the couch next to her husband. Her eyes were wide as she said, "You and Rachel Berry?"

The blonde woman felt herself flush even more as she nodded. "Yes, we're... just starting up. This is of course on the down-low for now, until she's formally divorced." Quinn felt her heart beat faster and faster just by the thought of all this. She was so happy to finally be able to tell someone that she and Rachel were a couple. She had been waiting for this day for so long, and saying it aloud finally made it feel real.

She was Quinn Fabray and she was _dating_ Rachel Berry.

Will's smile was a bit uncertain as he answered, "Well... congratulations, Quinn. I didn't even know that you were gay."

"I've always been gay, Will." she said, letting out a deep breath; so many things were being said right now, and she hadn't known how badly she needed to say them, but apparently she did, "And I've always been in love with Rachel Berry."

Emma was all smiles as she nodded her head next to her husband, sipping her coffee in tiny little sips, "Oh, this gives a whole new meaning to your treatment of her in high school, I must say! I am very happy to hear of you two dating." she sipped her coffee again and watched Quinn with her giant deer-eyes. Apparently Quinn hadn't been able to hide her true feelings from everybody, and it really made most sense that it was Emma – the guidance counsellor, the woman who spent her entire day talking to- and observing students – who had realised what was truly behind Quinn's cruel actions.

Quinn bent her head, "Yes, I'm guilty of that." she whispered, and like at any other time when their past was brought up, Quinn hated herself for having ever treated Rachel as horribly as she had done; it would always be there, in the back of her mind, even if Rachel had long ago forgiven her for her actions. Because like Rachel said, they had both done horrible things (Quinn's heart still hurt when she thought of how Rachel broke her heart all those years ago; it still hurt to remember it, even now when they were finally together), but the blonde just couldn't help but feel guilty anyway. She probably always would, but then she figured... she had the rest of her life to make it up to her.

"I'm sure that Rachel is all over that by now though," Will quickly added, without a doubt trying to ease her mind, to reassure her because of her sudden quietness, "I mean – just look at her! She's on Broadway, and from what I've heard, a shoe in for a Tony nomination." he shrugged his shoulders as he reached a hand across the table to pad hers softly, "People are loving her."

She couldn't help but feel proud when he mentioned how well Rachel was doing; she was allowed to feel proud, wasn't she? Rachel was her girlfriend after all. "Yeah, she's – she's amazing. You should have _seen_ her opening night as Maria in _West Side Story_. She blew everyone away."

A funny smile played across Will's face then, and his eyes held that certain glint she used to remember from Glee Club; the glint he always got when he had something very special in store for them. "Oh..." he paused, "Well... we _did_ see her."

Emma added, "Yes we did. We had Will's parents babysit the kids and we drove in for the weekend." she nodded her head then, tugging a piece of her red hair behind her ear. She was smiling brightly, and Quinn really loved to see how truly far she had come with her OCD. She seemed so much happier now than she had ever appeared to be through Quinn's high school years.

"You flew in?" Quinn questioned, truly surprised. She thought she would have known if anyone from town flew in – especially people from Glee Club! "Why didn't you call any of us up? We should have gotten together. I'm sure Santana and Brittany would love to see you again. You should meet their twins, they're adorable."

Will nodded his head, "Well..." he trailed off, a cheeky grin on his face as his eyes shone, "Why don't we just agree that we'll be seeing _all_ of you... at you and Rachel's wedding someday."

Quinn couldn't help it. Just the thought of that – it gave her the butterflies.

She was Quinn Fabray, and someday... she was going to _marry_ Rachel Berry.

**-Faberry-**

She had come home to an empty apartment with a note on the kitchen table and an deep hole in her stomach. She had thrown her overnight bag on the floor in the kitchen, and taken the note to read as she walked into the living room to open a window and get some fresh air into the apartment.

Apparently Nick had packed his most important things and had decided to stay with a friend of his. He had written that he believed that she needed the apartment more than him; it was her sanctuary, a place she could rest before she had to do her shows. He had said that if she had time in the following week, they should get together and start talking about the details, he had even written that he wanted to do this as quickly and as quietly as possible.

That was why she was now where she was, sitting in front of Nick at their favourite restaurant. They'd ordered lunch and gotten a somewhat private table in the back of the place, and it was hard on both of them, discussing these things.

Nick looked tired. Actually, he looked like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep since she left him Sunday night at the apartment. So tired was an understatement. His eyes were red, he hadn't shaved. It wasn't like she was in her best state either, but... he seemed to have it so much worse. She hadn't slept very well either, but she'd forced herself to sleep by taking something to relax herself; she couldn't afford to be tired when she had to be on stage, so that was her excuse.

"I'm hoping to keep lawyers out of this." Nick said then, as he forked his food. He hadn't eaten much of it, but he was taking small bites, so at least that was something. "I mean... Of course we're going to need them for the formalities, but I don't want some big court-date. I want what's best for both of us, and we should just do this quietly, don't you think?"

"I'd appreciate that." Rachel agreed, smiling softly at him. The atmosphere was very tense and weird, but that was understandable. She hadn't thought this would be a joyful lunch at all anyway, so she was just hoping to get everything settled.

Nick smiled softly at her as well, "We can even get divorced within a few months. You'd have to uh... to sign an infidelity statement, but... It's something you should consider anyway."

Rachel hadn't thought that this could get done quicker in that way, but now that Nick was mentioning it, that was the truth. Otherwise it could take many years; they'd have to separate first and then get the divorce. This way, they'd be divorced quicker than they could blink. Of course she'd have to think a bit more about it – she couldn't even begin to imagine what would happen to her career and her reputation if it became public knowledge that she had cheated on her husband, but... Quinn would really be happy if she got divorced quicker. It'd probably ease her mind a little bit. "I'll... have to think about it." she whispered, taking a bite of her vegan lasagne.

He took a small sip of his water and continued, "We should probably talk to a realtor as soon as possible. I don't presume you'll want to stay in the apartment, and I certainly don't either. We should both start looking for a new place, or-" he cut himself off, almost choking, "-or are you moving in with Quinn?"

Shaking her head, Rachel quickly pushed that thought out of his head, "No! No I'm not. I need to... I need to be myself for some time, so I'm going to start looking for a small place as well."

"Good." Nick said then. "Just... I want you to know that I will never recent you for doing this, Rachel. It's what you really want. This way... I can find someone else too, and be happy. We both deserve that."

"I was happy with you." Rachel said then, her smile growing somewhat bigger, because, like this, it felt more like old times, "Don't ever doubt that, Nick."

He smiled softly at her as well, "I was happy with you, too. We were good together, weren't we?"

She swallowed loudly, "Yeah... Yeah we were amazing together. I just... I couldn't help falling for Quinn, I couldn't stop my feelings. Believe me – I tried." she paused, taking a long sip of her water to soften her dry throat, "I didn't wish to leave you, but... this is just the way it had to be."

Reaching across the table to grab her hand, he gave it a tight squeeze, "I know." he assured her. "I love you so much, Rachel."

"I love you too." she whispered. Because she did. And she probably always would. No one could change the fact that Nick had been her husband, and that she had shared ten years of her life with him. Not even the fact that she was now in love with Quinn could change that. Nick would always be a part of her, somewhere, deep inside, the traces of him would always be.

He cleared his throat, "So. Inventory." he chuckled, "Uhm... How do we divide all of that? When do we do it?"

Rachel thought about that for a second or two, "Well, I believe we should get together in the apartment one day. We'll each find the things that we believe are rightfully ours, and... the things we bought together, we'll have to discuss who gets. Maybe we have to get rid of some of it. I assume our new places won't be as... gigantic as our recent apartment."

Nick shook his head, "No I don't think so. I, for one, will be looking for just a small two-bedroom apartment. It's what I need, and that way I won't have as much space to keep clean." he said the last part with a cheeky grin.

The diva couldn't help but laugh, "You always were a messy husband!" she giggled. She'd feared that this would be more awkward than it actually was; and it had been – when she first entered. But then again, very quickly they had fallen into their old habits, and the easiness that they'd always felt with one another had returned – this easiness was, of course, from before Quinn got between them and everything got screwed up. Rachel believed that it was because everything was now finally out in the open; they could be themselves again, and she really loved that.

"I was wondering," Nick questioned then, folding his hands formally on the table in front of him, "how we were going to do this? I suspect you'll want to run this by your agent, right?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm actually meeting her tomorrow to drop the bomb on her." she said; she'd thought about inviting Nick, but she didn't want to put him through her agent's gruelling – or worse; pitying – glances, and then she'd figured, she might as well just tell him what she'd thought about, and then he could give her his inputs. "I think we're going to release a statement about the divorce within the next week or so. We won't mention Quinn any time soon, for now you and I are just splitting due to differences."

He nodded, "I'd figured that."

"Yes," she continued with her heart beating loudly in her chest. It was hard to discuss this, because it was so final. It was what she wanted, but that didn't make it easy, "and then I am going to give it some time before we announce anything about Quinn. I thought it'd look better for my sake, but uh – also for yours."

Nick nodded, "I know, and uh-" he bit his lip, shortly, before he continued, "I thought about everything, and I know these magazines will be all over my case and yours. You're prepared to handle that, you're used to it. I'm... not. Really not, actually." he swallowed loudly, "So the boys and I are taking an impromptu vacation to Mexico. We're leaving Monday, and I'd hoped that... you'd get this done while we were away."

Rachel quickly nodded; she was stunned to hear of his plans, but she agreed anyway. They didn't interfere with her plans, so she might as well give him that curtsey. It'd probably be better for him, because when he returned, hopefully the news would have blown over and he could return to somewhat quietness. "Sure. I'll... I'll release it already Monday." she nodded, "It'll give you as much time as possible."

"Thank you." he smiled warmly.

"Will you contact your lawyer and have him set a date with mine?" Rachel asked then, "We should have a meeting as soon as you're back from Mexico." she swallowed and took a sip of her water then. It was hard to imagine Nick and his buddies in Mexico, but of course she knew what he was going to do there, and why they had decided to take him there. They were going to get drunk, have a party, and have sex with random girls. It was foreign, out of their usual world, which is was what made it the perfect place. She couldn't lie and say that she didn't feel just a little bit jealous, because she truly did. She wasn't allowed to though, so she just tried to hide it.

Nick nodded in agreement. "Sounds... good." he smiled at her, and it really did feel like they were twenty again, and just having their first date.

Rachel couldn't help it; she just blurted out, "I'm really going to miss you." she whispered. The tears were already appearing in her eyes, and she hated that she was this upset – it was her fault! She was the one who had made the choice, she was the one who wanted a divorce, because she had found someone new. Why was she this upset? It wasn't her right! She feared that it was going to take her a very long time to truly get over this. What wasn't Quinn going to think? Was the blonde woman really going to understand that she had a marriage that she needed to mourn, even if she had made the decision to leave?

"I'm going to miss you, too." Nick whispered as he reached a hand across the table to grab hers. It was reassuring, comfortable, and his giant hand around her tiny one made her feel safe and secure. "We'll be friends again." he whispered, and there were promises in his eyes, "Someday. I assure you of that."

She held her breath – she really hoped they would.

**-Faberry-**

"I have to admit, I really did not fucking think that Berry had it in her tiny midget body." Santana said then as she took a seat on the couch next to Quinn, and handed the blonde psychologist a giant glass of red wine.

Brittany sipped her glass from where she was sitting in her bean-bag chair and softly spoke up, "I knew Rachel was going to leave Nick. She loved Quinn all along, I could see it in her eyes." she nodded her head, and glared at her wife, "And Sannie, you have to stop calling Rachel names from now on. She's going to be Quinn's lady-wife!"

Quinn nodded in agreement, "You really should stop calling her names, Santana." she said, and she was deeply serious. She knew that Rachel and Santana probably would never learn to see truly eye to eye, but at least they could learn how to accept each other's differences, and start caring about each other anyway.

The Latina rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. The dwarf knows I cares abouts her, alright? We're like this." she crossed her fingers and held them out for the two blondes to see.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh as she shoved the lawyer's hand away, "You were never like this, stop being silly!" she ordered, before she broke into a laugh once more. It was wonderful to be back in the city! Of course she had loved being home in Lima with her family, and she had even enjoyed meeting all of her high school friends again, but there were no one like Brittany and Santana, and no one like good ol' New York!

"I'm going to be her bridesmaid at your wedding, and Sannie can be yours!" Brittany eagerly said then, as she nodded her head, and the giant bun on top of it started bopping up and down.

Quinn smiled warmly at her, "But what about Kurt and Blaine?" she asked the other blonde, "I'm certain Rachel will want to keep them involved!" she continued. She knew it was quick to start talking about a wedding and everything that came with it, because Rachel wasn't even divorced yet, but... she simply couldn't help herself. She wanted this so badly, and knowing that it _was_ actually going to happen... it made her dream about it even more.

Santana added, "Blaine can walk with me, and Kurt can walk with Brittany!" she said, "It'll be good. And since it's a few years from now anyway, Rico and Rebecca can be in the wedding!" she sipped her red wine again, and Quinn couldn't help but notice that she was starting to get just a bit more tipsy than the two blondes; she had taken this celebration to an entirely new level.

Brittany nodded eagerly, "Rebecca can be the flower girl, and Rico can be the ring bearer-er-er... er?"

Laughing, Quinn nodded her head. It sounded absolutely wonderful, "There's an idea!" she agreed, and took another sip of her wine again. Maybe she was getting a little bit drunk, too, but who could blame her? When she'd returned to the city, she'd called her two best friends to tell them what had happened, and one thing had led to another, Santana had suggested a celebration, Quinn had brought the wine, and suddenly, there they were, celebrating the heck out of this situation.

Checking her watch, Santana frowned, "Oh what the fuck... I have to be at the office at seven tomorrow..." she made a face, "That's going to be fun!"

"Go to bed, Sannie!" Brittany told her in a light voice.

The Latina shook her head, "But I don't wanna!"

Quinn felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and quickly stepped into the kitchen to answer it in peace. This way, the couple could argue in private and hopefully Brittany would have shoved Santana into bed by the time Quinn was done speaking. She looked at the display and saw that it was Rachel's smiling face looking up at her from the screen. Answering, she felt the butterflies flutter their wings in her stomach, "Hi, it's me." she whispered. And the smile on her face? It was giant as hell.

There was quiet on the other end of the phone for a little while, and Quinn was about to see if Rachel had hung up the phone, or dialled by accident, but the diva answered softly, "Hi." she whispered.

The blonde woman immediately felt that something was wrong. She couldn't explain what it was, it was just in the air – something was up, and she had no idea what it was, but it made her feel worried immediately. "Rach..." she trailed off, "Are you okay?"

The answer came quietly, "...no."

Every alarm-clock started going off inside her head, and Quinn just felt worried. It didn't sound good, not when Rachel was quiet and mute like this; that girl was usually the exact opposite! "Babe? What happened?" she whispered, not wanting to alert her two best friends in the living room.

"I don't like being alone here." Rachel replied; her voice sounded so fragile and honest, and it hurt Quinn's heart, making it feel like it was breaking in half, "This apartment is so big, and I... I didn't use to dislike being alone here, but now that Nick is moving, I just... I'm suddenly aware of the fact that it's for good, and... and I won't have him here anymore." she sniffled.

Quinn was torn. It sucked, the feeling she got when Rachel mentioned Nick, but logically, she knew that it was okay, and she had been expecting it. Not just like this. She hadn't expected Rachel to call her, needing him. She wanted to tell her girlfriend to figure this out on her own, to find a way to get past it, but she also knew that... that if she really wanted to show Rachel that she was serious, that she could rely on her, she had to be there for her, even through this, even if it sucked. Quinn breathed in deeply, preparing herself of what was going to happen, "Of course you miss him, Rach... He used to be there all the time, and now he's not. It would be weird if you didn't miss him."

Rachel sniffled again, "It's just... At night, he would usually be here with me, and we would watch TV together, and he'd hold me. Even when things were hard, he'd always hold me."

"I know, Sweetie." Quinn whispered.

"Can you come hold me?" Rachel softly questioned then, her voice sounding small and hopeful.

Quinn could feel the happiness sweeping from her chest and all the way into her fingertips and toes. Rachel might be missing Nick right now, needing what he would usually give her. But she wasn't asking for it back, from him. No, she was asking her... Quinn – her new girlfriend. She was asking her for it instead, which meant that she really was serious about this. "I'd love to." she whispered back through the phone, "Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there, Darling."

Rachel sighed on the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry for missing him, Quinn, but... You know I only want you, right?"

"I do." Quinn said, and really, she actually meant it. She knew, deep down, that Rachel only wanted her. They were going to be together for a very long time, they were going to create a family, have a life. For the first time, Quinn really felt secure about this. It was happening – she was finally Rachel Berry's. "I love you." she whispered, assuring the diva that this was really for real.

"I love you too, Quinn." Rachel whispered back, "Don't ever doubt it."

As Quinn grabbed her purse from the table in the kitchen, she was sure she never would.

* * *

><p><em>And this chapter was sort of to wrap everything with Nick up a bit – just before I write the epilogue where we will have a look into their future. I could go on with this story, write about how they continue to grow closer as everything moves forward, but I sort of believe that that would be pushing it. I wanted to write how they finally got together as Rachel decided to leave Nick, and now, I have done that. <em>

_Thank you so much for reading this chapter – I appreciate the reviews and the support! I created a Twitter just recently, and it's purely to keep everyone updated on my writing. So when there's weeks between updates on my work, I can keep everyone posted through Twitter. Besides, it's also where I'll keep updates on my original work that I'm trying to do. The link for this is on my profile if anyone should be interested. Thank you._

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Glee._


	20. Epilogue: Chasing Pavements

**Epilogue: Chasing Pavements  
><strong>

"Hey! Rachel! Quinn! Look over _here_!"

Feeling the guiding hand of her wife on her lower back, Quinn turned with Rachel to face the blitzing paparazzi. She squinted her eyes together slightly, trying to block out the light whilst still looking somewhat presentable for the camera. She reached a hand up and delicately tugged a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.

Rachel was smiling brilliantly next to her, flashing her mega-watt smile for the cameras the way she'd always done. She loved the attention, the fact that people were yelling her name, wanting to take pictures of her for the magazines. She'd spent hours looking for the perfect dress, _and_ looking for Quinn's perfect dress. They'd always taken pride into matching each other when they went to Rachel's events together. The public always loved to see them at these things. Rachel enjoyed it, but Quinn had never really gotten used to these things, not even after nearly twenty years of doing it together.

Gazing down at her wife, who was lower than her even in her high heels, Quinn couldn't help but smile even more; Rachel was the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on, even as she was steadily reaching 50. No one took to ageing quite like she did; her hair was still the same beautiful colour with a few grey specks here and there, and her eyes now held a certain wisdom. Even the small wrinkles on her face seemed to agree with her. She was still in shape, and therefore she'd been on the list as one of the most beautiful women in the world the last few years; a list she shared with actresses much younger than herself.

"Come on baby." Rachel whispered, burying her nose in the crook of Quinn's neck for just a second – before she took to guiding them further down the red carpet towards the grand entrance. The place was swamped with people, and even though this was far from the first Tony Award show that Quinn had attended (which was her duty as the wife of Rachel Berry), she still wasn't entirely comfortable with it, and let Rachel guide her through it all.

They linked their hands together and entered the building. The show was once again being held at Radio City Music Hall, and the host was Neil Patrick Harris as it had been many times before. Quinn usually loved these shows; they were very entertaining and the performances were great – she was much more into musicals than she had been when she was young, but that was simply because they were Rachel's livelihood and she talked about everything happening in the musical theatre world all the time.

This, however, was a very special year for them regarding Tony Awards. Rachel had won her fair share of awards in the past twenty years, and she was – tonight – being acknowledged for that. Especially for her work in musical theatre, which was where her heart truly lay, even if she had done practically everything else that the business offered. She had her second movie coming out in just a few months, and although it hadn't premièred yet, the rumours of an Oscar nomination were already running wild. Tonight though, it was all about the Tony Award that she'd be bringing home to join the rest of her awards on top of their fireplace.

Quinn was swelling with pride as they found their way to their seats. Everything was glamorous and fantastic tonight, and she loved how everyone was looking at Rachel, how people were coming up to congratulate her constantly, and especially just how Rachel seemed to suck in the attention completely. She'd always loved being the centre of attention, and she most definitely was tonight.

The show started with Neil Patrick Harris goofing a bit off on stage, and in between all the presenters there were small performances from different musicals; there had just been a revival of _Spring Awakening_ at the Gershwin Theatre, and it had been nominated for several awards whilst the performers also performed some of the classic songs from the show. Rachel had dragged Quinn with her on opening night, and she had been absolutely thrilled with the show.

Quinn was tripping in her seat though. She found it difficult to enjoy all the artists entirely, because she simply couldn't wait for the moment where things got serious. Rachel took the time waiting great though; Quinn had almost feared that the teenage Rachel Berry would appear and show her horns, but her wife really had grown up and was handling it beautifully. Quinn was almost more impatient than her. Which was impressive, really, because the diva had no patience at all – and she never had in the past.

And suddenly, Neil Patrick took the stage with the words, "And now to… One of the things that I've been looking very forward to this year! Our _Tony Honours for Excellence in the Theatre_!" he smiled brightly at them all as the audience applauded, "This is an award that's only been, well, awarded a few times throughout Tony's history, and tonight we're honouring a very special lady. A lady I am proud to call a colleague and _a friend_."

_Finally, _Quinn mused to herself as she squeezed Rachel's hand tightly,_ it's happening…_

"She follows in the footsteps of Freddie Gershon, Artie Siccardi and the TDF Open Doors program!" he motioned towards the lovely ladies behind him, who were holding the award between them, "And is awarded this award for many years of outstanding work in musical theatre."

Quinn gazed at Rachel who was now not taking it so well anymore; the tears had already started falling, and Quinn could feel her hand trembling in her own. She raised her hand to her lips and placed a kiss on the back of it, just to let her know that she was there, and that she was proud of her. Her beautiful and talented wife… She had actually gotten everything she dreamed of, everything she deserved and had worked so hard for.

Neil continued his speech, and even though he technically hadn't mentioned any names yet, everybody knew who he was talking about, because the announcement had been made weeks ago. "This woman has, since she first stole our hearts as Sophie in _Mamma Mia!, _continued to astound us with her amazing talents and, well, let's just say – enthralling voice. She has amazed us with most definitely her work on stage – but also her work on camera and in the music industry." He motioned towards the screen behind him where several pictures of Rachel throughout her career started appearing in a continuous flow, "Her début single as a solo artist was released in 2031 and it won her a Grammy Award, and just a few years later she won her Emmy Award for her guest appearance in the TV-show _Not Another Day_. She has three Tony wins in her back pocket, which means she's just an Oscar away from winning an EGOT Award!"

Quinn could barely smile as much as she wanted to; her happiness just kept growing and growing as her heart swelled with pride.

When Neil opened his mouth again, it was to say the words they'd all been waiting for, "I am of course talking about the talented – the lovely – the _truly_ outstanding – Rachel Berry!"

And just as Rachel's already tear-streaked, though smiling, face came upon the big screen, Rachel got out of her seat to go on stage. Quinn stood up as well, and she managed to peck her wife shortly on the lips, before the diva was whisked away, and Quinn herself was left clapping with all her might. She couldn't help but think of all the people back in Lima who had kept calling Rachel a geek, who had kept making fun of her – well, who was the one laughing now? Rachel was! She'd accomplished something that not many people did, and if everything went well, she'd soon be one of the selected few artists to win an EGOT Award. _That_ was really an accomplishment.

Neil congratulated Rachel when she came on stage, he hugged her, kissed her cheek, and most people in the audience were on their feet, applauding, when she finally took the Tony in her hands and turned to the small podium to speak.

"Thank you." She said, and Quinn knew that she had never heard her wife say anything more sincerely since the day she said 'I do', "This… This award is simply… the most generous thing I've ever experienced, I am so grateful, and so, so honoured that you have chosen _me_ for this fine award." She clutched the award tightly while gazing down at it with loving eyes, "I honestly do not think that I deserve something so amazing, I'm just doing what I love, every day, and to think that that has brought me here."

Neil and the presenters were standing a few feet behind her, nodding and watching her every move.

Rachel continued, almost breathlessly, because the tears were still rolling, and she had pushed aside all attempts to be gracious and handle this without a tear; she was simply too happy to control it. "There are many people that I need to thank, probably too many to mention here, but I'm going to anyway!" she said, which caused the audience to laugh a little, Quinn included (even a 47, Rachel still had the same weird sense of humour), "Firstly, my fathers. The greatest parents any girl could ever wish for. I thank you for spoiling me rotten and for giving me countless of dance classes, singing classes and acting classes. Everything I wished for, I got. You were there for me from the very beginning, supporting me to do my best. Secondly, my high school glee club! _New Directions_ made my high school years a joy. You all hated me when I pushed us too hard, and you told me to calm down when my determination became a little too much. But your support and belief in me was never-ending, even to this day. I met some of my best friends in that club." She softly paused.

Quinn couldn't help but think of Santana and Brittany, who were probably sitting at home with Rico and Rebecca, watching this on TV. The twins were so excited for their aunt, and even at this age, they were always there for her. And her mind also wandered to Kurt and Blaine, who was – without a doubt – glued to their TV and had been since early this afternoon so they didn't miss the arrivals and the beautiful dresses.

"Kurt & Blaine, and Santana & Brittany – you're the best friends anyone could ever ask for." Rachel added, "And most importantly, I have to say, I also met my wonderful wife in that club." Rachel paused for a long while as her eyes turned towards Quinn, who could feel them on her, even if she was standing so far away, on that stage, "My beautiful wife, Quinn. What would I ever do without you? It took us a while before we found each other, but when we finally did, it felt like I was coming home. I had to go through another marriage before we met again, but I honestly think… that did us good. Your faith in me, your support, it's enormous, and I love you for it. I could not ask for a better partner in life than you. I love you."

The blonde woman felt herself blush a deep crimson and was happy that no cameras were pointed at her.

The diva continued on then, quickly, "Of course I also have to mention Nick, my ex-husband. A man I am now proud to call a very good friend and co-worker. Without him I would not have had that Emmy Award on top of my fireplace, because he was the brilliant writer of _Not Another Day, _and he was also the person who forced me to audition for that guest appearance!" she chuckled to herself, and Quinn turned over in her seat to look at Nick who was clutching his wife's hand just a few rows behind her, "You are a very talented screenwriter Nick, and I am so happy to know that you have found love again, just like I have."

She was quiet for a second, thinking, before she said, "Oh, they're telling me to hurry now, but I'm almost done! Lastly, I have to thank my three troublemakers who I know is at home right now, watching me on TV. My oldest, Alicia, and the twins, Bay and Christopher. Mama loves you!" she paused then, wrapping things off, "I can promise you – with all my heart – that when people ask me how I will be celebrating this tonight, it will not be a lie when I say that I'm not getting drunk – I am simply going home to spend the evening with my wife and my three children. Thank you for this." She finished as she held up the award for everyone to see, "Thank you _so much_ for this."

Quinn would like to believe she was the person in the audience who applauded the loudest as Rachel was escorted backstage with her award, but it was hard to tell, because everyone was applauding the beautiful and talented diva. Quinn had always known that Rachel would do great things with her talents, but this was truly more than anyone had ever hoped or wished for – even Rachel herself. But apparently other people had realized just how much she had brought to Broadway, thus this award. She was truly an inspiration for other small-town outcasts who thought it would never happen. Well. It _did_ happen. She was a living example of that.

And she was still going strong, making it happen and living the dream. She even proclaimed – often – that these were her best years and that she was finally staring to get a lot of very interesting parts with different story-lines than the usual young romance kind of thing.

Quinn clutched a hand to her chest as she let herself burst with pride over the woman she'd called her wife for the past twenty years or so. Never had she dared to hope that she'd be the one standing by Rachel's side through all of this, but what do you know – dreams do come true. Rachel's dream of Broadway and musical theatre had come true – and Quinn's dreams of her and Rachel… they had come true, as well.

_I am the luckiest person in this world, _Quinn thought.

**-Faberry-**

_I am the luckiest person in this world, _Rachel thought.

"Mama!" Christopher all but yelled as she entered the apartment, Quinn right on her tail. He came dashing towards her with open arms, and she just managed to place her purse and the stunning award on the hallway counter before he threw himself at her, wrapping his arms around her neck, "Mama, you looked so pretty on stage!" he whispered and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

She hugged him tightly for just a second, before she had to let him slide down onto the floor. He was only nine, but it wouldn't be many years before he was taller than her. "Did you see it all?" she whispered and ran a hand through his messy dark hair.

He nodded eagerly, "We saw it all, and Alicia made us popcorn and hot cocoa!" he rubbed his stomach and grinned up at her, "It was very good!"

"Aren't your proud of your mama, too?" Quinn asked Bay, who had entered the hallway as well. She was wearing her _Wicked_ t-shirt and had her hair done in two braids. The blonde woman gently stroked her daughter on her cheek, "Did Alicia do your hair, Sweetie?"

Bay nodded, "I wanted to be there, Mama!" she angrily said and stomped her foot into the floor like a miniature version of Rachel, "I'm grown up enough! It's not fair that you went without me!"

Rachel chuckled and leaned down to kiss her daughter all over the face, "Just you way a few years, Bay. You'll be grown up soon enough." she promised, silently praying inwardly that the twins would never grow up so they didn't have to move away from her and Quinn, "Besides, it was me plus one. What would we have done with mommy then? She would have had to stay home and I honestly think that that would have made her very sad."

The young girl scrunched her nose up in disagreement. "I don't care. Mommy could have been here with Chris and Alicia. I'm more important, you should have taken me!"

Rachel chuckled and turned to Quinn, who was just slipping out of her jacket, "Hey wait Bay! That's no fair!" she chuckled, while pretending that she was upset. Continuing with a stern look at her youngest daughter, she added, "Anyway guys. The deal was that you could be up until we got home, and guess what – we're home!" she clapped her hands together in fake excitement, "Yaaaay, time for bed!"

"Noooooo!" the twins immediately chorused, and Christopher threw himself at Quinn, while Bay clung onto Rachel's hand.

"A deal's a deal." Quinn told them, as she picked her son off the floor; he was so tall and gangly, he almost didn't weigh anything.

Christopher pouted at them both, "Can't we stay up just a liiiiiiittle bit longer?" he begged, his brown eyes wide, "We wanna know everything! And we wanna see your _award_, Mama!"

"I wanna hold it!" Bay chipped.

Rachel glanced at Quinn, silently asking her whether or not they should stand firm or give in this time. Quinn offered her a slight nod, and it pretty much fitted the decision Rachel had just made with herself. It was a special night and the kids could sleep tomorrow. "Alright," she whispered, "just a little bit longer, okay babies?"

"Yaaay!" the twins chorused then, and they both released their parents to hurry into the living room, calling for their big sister on the way. They wanted to share the good news, even though Alicia probably didn't care much. She'd been babysitting them all night, now she probably wanted some privacy, as most girls her age did.

Quinn turned to Rachel then, softly stroking her across the cheek, "Alright..." she whispered, happily, lovingly, "now you're spending no more than an hour with your wife and your kids, and _afterwards_," she paused, and there was that certain glint in her eye that still made Rachel weak in the knees, "you're spending some quality time with _only_... your wife."

Rachel felt the shiver of expectations run down her arms, and she most definitely felt the tingling between her thighs. That was a promise she was definitely going to keep. "I'll hold you to that." she whispered and leaned up to peck her wife on the lips. Leaning back, she continued, "Let's go see if Alicia has come out of her room to join us."

The blonde woman nodded eagerly, and she quickly helped Rachel out of her jacket, before she reached for the shiny Tony and carefully handed it to the diva. Rachel felt her eyes lit up as she took it in her hands again, and as they walked into the living room, she kissed the side of it. She knew it was cheesy, but she couldn't help it. This night had truly been one of the most fantastic evenings of her life. There was no describing the happiness she felt when receiving this award. It was such an honour, something she had never dared to hope would happen. They had chosen her, specifically. They'd looked at her career and said to themselves 'this woman deserves to be honoured'. What more could one ever want out of their career?

Rachel wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was the happiest woman on the planet tonight. She had received this award, and she had the most perfect wife, and the most fantastic children.

Entering the living room, she found Bay and Christopher huddled together beneath a blanket, while Alicia was in one of the chairs, texting on her phone. The living room looked like some bomb had exploded in there, but Rachel didn't have the energy to care. They could clean up tomorrow; the mess was just proof that her children had had a wonderful evening, and should she be angry with them for that? No. She should be thankful. Thankful that she had such amazing children, and that Alicia had sacrificed a sleepover with her best friends (they had planned to watch the award show together and dress up fancily) to babysit her two younger siblings.

"Congratulations Mama." Alicia sincerely said, and placed her iPhone on the table only to reach up and wrap her arms around Rachel's shoulders in a congratulatory hug.

The diva breathed in the scent of her daughter's blondes locks, "Thank you, baby. Did you really hear my speech? I love you so much." she whispered into her ear, only for Alicia to hear.

The blonde girl nodded her head, "I did, Mama." she said as she pulled back, locking her eyes with Rachel's, her so beautiful and incredible hazel eyes. "You were stunning up there." she added, and Rachel couldn't help but think inwardly that Alicia was the stunning one of them; she had Quinn's beautiful looks; she had inherited the Fabray gene with the blonde hair and soft features.

Bay and Christopher though... they were _all_ Berry.

"Now let me see, let me see, let me see, let me _see_!" Bay chanted and reached her small arms out to her mother, and Rachel could hear Quinn laugh as she took a seat in the couch, and the diva chuckled too, as she carefully reached her newest Tony to her youngest daughter, who took it, eagerly, with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Rachel sat down next to Quinn, snuggling up to her, "Now be careful, right twinnies?" she told them, but she knew that they would be, always. They knew how much these prizes were worth, how much they meant, and whenever they felt the urge to pick one off the fireplace to study it – in awe, much like tonight – they would always be careful.

The twins were caught up in this, and Alicia turned to look at them, "So I'm happy to hear that you thanked uncle Nick." she nodded her head, holding up her phone, "Cam really liked that. She said that she would have definitely kicked you in the shin if you hadn't mentioned her father."

The diva chuckled, just as Quinn said, "That definitely seems like something she would do!"

Alicia said something about Cam then, and Quinn replied, and Rachel just leaned back in the couch for a second, enjoying this perfect evening. These were the people she loved the most, and here she was, spending this night with them. She had to admit that... that even if she had never made it as actress, if she had never succeeded or performed on Broadway, she would have been happy with just this.

Thirty years ago she would have denied that, and told everyone that her happiness relied solely on her future on Broadway, but tonight she wasn't so sure. She could have been happy, working with whatever, if she had Quinn and the kids regardless. They made everything worth it, and she was honestly ready to sacrifice everything for them. She loved her life with Quinn, and she wouldn't trade it for all of the world's awards.

Rachel was whisked out of her thoughts when Quinn's lips found her ear, "I think the twins are ready to go to bed now."

Turning her head to look at them, she saw that they were both half asleep on the couch, and that Bay was still clutching the award tightly, even in her sleep. They looked so adorable with their innocent faces and their fluttering eyelids. Rachel's heart swelled. The most fantastic creatures were sleeping on her couch right now. Her happiness was never-ending.

"I'll take Bay, you take Chris." the diva whispered to her wife, just as she slipped off the couch and gently leaned over her kids. She uncurled Bay's fingers from the Tony one by one, careful not to wake her, and when she finally placed the award on the table, Bay sucked in a deep breath and started muttering in her sleep. Grinning, Rachel wrapped her arms around the child and carefully lifted her up.

Quinn picked Christopher up from the couch, pretty much repeating Rachel's motions. Alicia was watching them from her chair, and the teenager stood up then, brushing a piece of her hair away. "I'm going to watch TV in my room," she said then, "to give you two some... privacy."

She was about to leave, when Quinn's voice stopped her, "Sweetie..." she lowly whispered.

Alicia turned around with an expectant look on her face, "Yeah mom?"

"Thank you for tonight." Quinn told her, "Thank you for watching the twins. We really appreciate it, honey. You're the best big sister any child could want."

She shrugged her shoulders, "It's no problem. I love babysitting them." she said, and Rachel knew that she meant it, even if she always made a fuss whenever they asked her to do it. "Goodnight." she added.

"'Night honey." Quinn replied back, just as Rachel said, "Sweet dreams."

Alicia turned to go into her bedroom, and the married couple turned the other way to get the twins into their bedrooms as well. Rachel stepped into Bay's bedroom; a room that pretty much resembled the room she had had when she was nine, and carefully slipped her daughter into her princess bed. She didn't have to change her clothes or anything, Alicia had probably gotten them into their sleeping clothes many hours ago, so all she had to do was tug the covers around her daughter's sleeping form, before she turned on the night light and closed the door so only a sliver was open.

Sighing happily to herself, she stepped into the bathroom to take care of her own needs. She let her up-do down, took off her jewellery and slipped out of her high heels. She brushed her make-up up and when she was contend with her own appearance, she went back into the living room, only to find Quinn standing there, beautifully, with a glass of champagne in each hand.

The blonde woman took a step closer, reaching the glass out for her, "I don't think I really... congratulated you properly." she whispered, her voice barely audible from across the room.

Rachel took the glass and admired the quick work that her wife had done in the living room. The mood, a few candles, champagne... It was all set. They could share a moment or two in complete happiness, as if they were the only two people in the room. "Thank you, baby." she said, before they clinked their glasses together and each took a sip.

"Come here..." Quinn whispered then, as she pulled her closer and their bodies touched delicately. Quinn placed her free arm on her body and softly guided them to sway to an imaginary song. "My beautiful... talented... wife." she whispered into her ear.

The diva turned slightly, grabbing her own glass, then Quinn's, only to place them on the coffee table. She then tugged herself even closer to her wife and buried her nose in the crook of her neck. She breathed her in; the natural scent of her skin mixed with the perfume she had been wearing for the past ten years. It was comforting, it was familiar, and it was everything she knew and loved. "You're the best." she murmured into her neck, her lips brushing across the fair skin beneath them. "So truly amazing and beautiful... What would I ever do without you?"

The blonde hummed, wrapping her arms even tighter around the brunette's body, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Rachel continued, "There were so many things I wanted to say on that stage. About you, about us. But I didn't know how to, and it wouldn't be appropriate." she breathed deeply in, trying to find a way to explain to Quinn how she was feeling, how _she_ was making her feel, but it was so difficult, it was something she usually only did in song, "You still make me weak in the knees. I'm so happy that you didn't give up on me."

Pulling back slightly, Quinn stared her deeply in the eyes, "_I_ am so glad that you didn't give up. What wouldn't have happened if you hadn't followed me to Lima? Or if you hadn't kept pressuring me to see you after that day in the club?" she shook her head, clearly not happy with the thought of that, "Or if you hadn't followed Santana out of the bathroom after she slapped you?" she paused, "I was ready to give up so many times, yet you still kept on fighting. You were _always_ determined."

"Only because I wanted you so badly." Rachel whispered, her eyelids fluttering close again, as she tried to get even closer to her wife, even if it was difficult. She knew that Quinn was right in some of the things she was saying, but she had been worried too, sometimes been ready to just give up and stay with Nick. Thankfully though, she'd kept convincing herself that she ought to follow her heart – and where hadn't that gotten her? Into that arms of the most beautiful creature on earth.

"Sing it again." Quinn whispered then, "Sing it to me. Your first award winning single."

Brushing her lips over Quinn's skin, Rachel smiled to herself. Her first single. It had blown all the charts, and it was written for Quinn. It was about them, about everything they had gone through while they were still figuring things out. She remembered that she'd first started writing the lyrics when she was still with Nick, needing to figure everything out. He'd entered their giant music room and asked if he could listen to what she already had, but she'd flat-out refused. She had been scared, because it was about Quinn, and he would have known. To this day, he still didn't know that this song was the song she had been writing that day. It was a secret better kept in the dark. And Quinn always wanted her to sing it. Even tonight. "Really?" she murmured.

Quinn just hummed in response.

_"___I've made up my mind___..." _Rachel softly begun, as they were swaying to the imaginary music behind her words,_ "___don't___ need to think it over..._ _If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further..._ _This ain't lust," _she paused with her heart beating in her chest,_"I know this is love..."_ she trailed off, deeply consumed in remembrance of what these feelings had felt like, running through her, back when she was first writing these lyrics. She had been honest with herself, expressed herself the only way she knew how._ "__But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough...__'Cause it was not said to you," _she swallowed soundlessly as she tried to hold back the few tears that her feelings were evoking, _"__And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you__... ___Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements..." __

Tugging her closer, Quinn hummed softly along to the lyrics.

_"__Even if it leads nowhere? __Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place...__Should I leave it there?" _she breathed out then, pausing. She couldn't bare to finish the last part, not like this, not in front of Quinn. It meant too much, and to think that this what what she had felt; how she had thought that it was better to give up than to keep fighting... it was heartbreaking. What if she had done this? What if she hadn't kept fighting for them?

_"__Should I give up," _Quinn finished in her angelic voice, _"or should I just keep chasing pavements...__Even if it leads nowhere?__" _she stopped, pulling her head slightly back, only to look Rachel deeply in the eyes. "I am so happy to know that we ended up better than this. That you kept fighting, and that we finally made it. Thank you for everything."

Rachel's heart was beating steadily as she answered, "I love you."

Quinn ducked her head, "And I love you."

"Come here." Rachel whispered then, before she pulled Quinn's head down and locked her lips to hers.

* * *

><p><em><em>Tada! This was it! What do you say? I hope you liked it – this little epilogue of mine? I promised a look into their future, just to make sure that they made it; I gave them three kids and a wonderful marriage, and I even made sure to mention Nick and how he was doing :) I hope I did not disappoint! <em>_

__The song is of course 'Chasing Pavements' by Adele, which I just think is such a beautiful song, and I've sort of kept thinking of it whenever I thought of this story, so I decided to add it in for a little colour. I know this was first inspired by She & Him's 'In the Sun', and it definitely felt like that throughout the first half of this story, but I don't know... suddenly this song just kept appearing in my head whenever I had to plot out the next chapter ;-)__

__I want to thank every each of my readers for your support, and for reading and commenting – it really is amazing to hear what you guys think; it just makes it so much better to write! So thank you. I hope to hear from you again someday, regarding future stories. I do not believe that this will be my last adventure into the land of Faberry ;-) Although I do believe that I might be writing some Pezberry next, I'm not sure... We'll see ;-) __

__**Disclaimer; **____I do not own Glee, Chasing Pavements, or In the Sun. __


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